Don't Wait For Things To Happen For You

Grams Wisdom 57

Are you feeling bored and listless? Does your life feel like it consists of a series of dull, monotonous days? When was the last time you did something fun that brought you joy? What was the most recent event that was interesting or exciting? Does it seem as if things only happen to you? Have you forgotten what it feels like to look forward to good things happening in your life?

My Gram had some thoughts on this subject. She told me that life has a way of slipping through our fingers almost unnoticed. Far too many people passively wait for life to unfold. They hope that someday the stars will align, and their dreams will come true.

But Gram knew life is not a passive journey; it's an active adventure, and the narratives we tell are the ones we craft ourselves. And as I’ve grown older, I've come to realize that we mustn't wait for the interesting, joyous, or good things in life to happen, or be handed to us. Instead, we must go out there and create our own happiness and meaning.

If you are interested in finding out how? Keep reading!

Why You Should Stop Waiting for Things to Happen

Many times, waiting for something to happen is much easier and safer than making decisions for yourself. The problem is this comes with its own set of risks. Often while waiting for something extraordinary to happen people miss out on the simple, everyday joys. They postpone their happiness believing it will come later, and so deny themselves the beauty of the present moment.

Moreover, the interesting and remarkable experiences in life rarely come knocking at your door. They are earned through effort, perseverance, and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone. If you wait for adventure to find you, you may find yourself waiting forever. Instead, be proactive, chase your dreams, and embrace the unknown. Taking risks is part of living a fulfilling life, for it's often in those moments of uncertainty that we discover our true potential and our strength.

Here are five steps to help you make things happen for you.

1| Define what you want.

The first step to solving any problem is recognizing there’s a problem in the first place. Be specific about what’s not working in your life. After that, think about what you want instead. It’s easy to pinpoint problems and shortcomings. Yet, the real challenge is knowing what you want out of life.

The next step is to make a list of all the things you want. Your list may look much different than this example.

• I aspire to develop a sense of purpose that goes beyond the shallowness of existence.

• I want to travel and grow while striving to unlock my full potential.

• I long for a life filled with moments of genuine joy, gratitude, and inner peace.

• My meaningful life revolves around leaving a positive impact on the lives of others.

2 | Do you understand why you want it?

After considering what you want, you must do a bit of soul-searching. This is the time when you must know why you want all those things you wrote on your list. Delving deep into your motivations is like uncovering the hidden fuel that propels you toward your goals. The depth of your understanding serves as a source of inspiration, sustaining your enthusiasm through the inevitable storms of doubt and adversity. The more intimately you comprehend the "why" behind your aspirations, the more powerful and enduring your motivation becomes.

Furthermore, when you have a clear grasp of your motivations, your journey becomes more purposeful and meaningful. It's as if you've set your compass to a specific destination, ensuring that every step you take is intentional. This heightened motivation not only empowers you to overcome obstacles but also infuses your efforts with a sense of passion and dedication. It transforms the pursuit of your goals from a mere task into a personal mission, and you become more willing to invest the time, effort, and patience required to achieve them.

Just remember to start small. Pick realistic, short-term goals to begin with. Then, once you gain more confidence and momentum, you can begin focusing on larger goals.

3 |Can you picture what you want?

Creating a mental image of your desires serves as a powerful catalyst for manifesting your aspirations into reality. It's akin to crafting a detailed blueprint for the life you envision. Your mental landscape becomes a canvas upon which you can paint the intricate details of your dreams and goals.

When your conscious desires and subconscious beliefs are in sync, they result in a life that flows more smoothly. This alignment lends clarity to your intentions, sharpening your focus on what truly matters. It's as if you've organized the clutter of conflicting thoughts and emotions, allowing your inner world to function more efficiently, just like a well-oiled machine.

This harmony between your conscious and subconscious minds not only streamlines your thought processes but also empowers you to navigate life's challenges with greater resilience. Your newfound clarity brings a sense of purpose and direction. As you develop this alignment, you'll find that your capacity to turn your dreams into reality is magnified.

There are multiple ways to go about visualizing what you want, including:

• Creating a vision board.

• Spend a few minutes before bedtime picturing what you want.

• Listen to guided meditation.

• Keep a journal.

4 | Find or create a support system.

Surround yourself with one or two supportive friends or family members. Sharing your future goals with people who encourage you will boost your success rate. Plus, these people will hold you accountable for achieving your goals. So, any time you feel disheartened or unable to follow through, these are the ones who’ll stay by your side and keep you moving forward.

Likewise, your support system should be composed of individuals who comprehend the intricacies of your aspirations. They should possess the empathy to understand the sacrifices, hard work, and determination required to reach their goals. They should celebrate your victories joyfully, sharing your happiness as if it were their own.

These individuals should recognize the significance of your ambitions, respecting the unique path you've chosen. They appreciate the beauty in your goals, even if they differ from their own. Their appreciation fosters an environment of positivity and mutual respect, allowing you to thrive in an atmosphere where your dreams are nurtured rather than stifled.

5 | Don’t just sit there, make the first step.

Now that you know what you want, and why you want it, you can see it coming true in your mind. It’s time to act! Don’t allow fear or doubt to hold you back.

This is the step that scares many people. Yet, dreams will remain dreams without following through and bringing them to life. Remember, the most beautiful flowers often grow in the harshest conditions. Embrace adversity as an opportunity for growth and resilience. When life throws challenges your way, face them with determination and a smile. It is through overcoming obstacles that you appreciate the sweetness of success.

To make things a little bit less overwhelming, write down all the steps you need to take to get to your goals. Then, take the first step and start from there. Then, once you’re done with that, go on to the next step, and the next, and so on. Soon enough, you’ll find yourself close to reaching your goal, if you haven’t done so already. And the best thing is that all it took was one small step.

My final thoughts.

After reading this five-step plan to help you make things happen in your life, it’s time to see them through. Remember, you’re stronger than you think—and a lot smarter. So, just picture the end in mind, stay on course, and you’ll eventually end up exactly where you set out to be.

You have within you the power to create a life filled with wonder, excitement, and fulfillment. Don't wait for someone or something to light up your world; be the source of your light. Be curious be daring.

For more information, check out these posts.

Don’t Wait For The Perfect Moment-7 Reasons Why.

Manifest Your Desires By Taking Action.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

The Ultimate Guide To Living Your Best Life

Living your best life can take effort. It’s necessary to act to ensure you’re achieving the happiness and satisfaction you want.

Let’s explore a range of topics, from nurturing relationships and setting personal boundaries. To the benefits of lifelong learning and the importance of being grateful for life's simple joys. These conversations underscore the significance of mindfulness and intentionality in your life. By prioritizing your well-being, and embracing new experiences and activities you enjoy, you can lead a more gratifying and enriching life. These insights serve as reminders that the pursuit of happiness and personal growth is not an elusive destination. Rather an ongoing journey rooted in self-awareness and a willingness to engage with the world around you.

To live your best life, there are some activities you can do to make it easier to promote better living each day.

Make sure you nurture the right relationships in your life.

Nurturing the relationships in your life is essential for your emotional and overall happiness. These connections provide you with a sense of belonging, support, and love that enriches your life in profound ways. To foster healthy relationships, you must invest time and effort into understanding, communicating with, and empathizing with those you care about. This involves listening, being present at the moment, and showing genuine interest in the thoughts and feelings of others. By doing so, you not only strengthen the bonds you share but also create a setting where trust and intimacy can flourish.

Moreover, nourishing relationships extend beyond mere communication. It also involves making a regular effort to spend quality time together, whether through shared experiences, shared laughter, or simply being there during challenging times. Celebrating each other's successes and offering support during difficult moments are the cornerstones of a strong and enduring connection. When you invest in nurturing these relationships, you build a support system that can weather the vicissitudes of life and celebrate the joys together. Making your journey even more meaningful and fulfilling. Ultimately, the nourishment of your relationships is an investment in your happiness and of those you hold dear.

Make time for activities you genuinely enjoy.

Whatever your favorite hobbies, activities, and pastimes are, give yourself time to enjoy them. Making time for activities you genuinely enjoy is a vital aspect of maintaining a balanced and satisfying life. These pursuits provide not only moments of joy but also opportunities for self-expression, creativity, and relaxation. Whether it's reading a book, painting, playing a musical instrument, or engaging in a favorite sport. These activities can serve as a refuge from the demands of daily life. Setting aside dedicated time for them is a form of self-care that nourishes you mentally and emotionally.

Incorporating enjoyable activities into your routine can boost your overall productivity and happiness. It provides a much-needed break, allowing you to recharge and return to your responsibilities with renewed energy and focus. Moreover, pursuing your passions can lead to a sense of accomplishment and personal growth. It's a reminder that life isn't just about meeting obligations but savoring the moments that bring you genuine pleasure. By making time for these activities, you prioritize your happiness and well-being. Which in turn positively impacts all other aspects of your life.

Say “No” like a pro and transform your life.

If you feel pressured to say “Yes” to others’ requests, it can be tough to feel like you’re living your best life. Establishing personal boundaries and having the courage to say "No" when necessary is an essential practice for maintaining your overall well-being. Boundaries act as a protective shield around your physical and emotional space, blocking others from overstepping or taking advantage of you. They’re the foundation of healthy relationships and self-respect. When you set clear boundaries, you communicate your needs, limitations, and values, which fosters respect and understanding with others.

Moreover, setting boundaries and declining certain commitments or requests allows you to prioritize your needs and goals. It's a way of managing your time and energy level efficiently. Preventing burnout and overwhelm. Without boundaries, you may find yourself constantly overextended, sacrificing your well-being for the sake of others or societal pressures. Learning to say "No" respectfully permits you to make choices that align with your values and goals. Ultimately leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life. It's a powerful tool for self-care and self-preservation, promoting a sense of agency and control over your destiny.

Make your physical and emotional health your top priorities.

Prioritizing your physical and emotional well-being is a fundamental aspect of leading a healthy and fulfilling life. It's the basis upon which your ability to thrive, both personally and professionally, is built. Here are some key points to consider when making your well-being a priority:

1. Regular self-care practices, such as exercise, adequate sleep, and a balanced diet, are the big “three” for maintaining physical health. Combining relaxation techniques and mindfulness into your routine can contribute to mental well-being.

2. Learning to manage and cope with stress effectively is vital. High levels of chronic stress can have detrimental effects on both your physical and mental health. Consider meditation practices, deep breathing, or seeking professional help when needed.

3. Finding a healthy work-life balance is essential. Dedicate time to activities and relationships that bring you joy and relaxation outside your work commitments.

4. Nurturing meaningful social connections is necessary for mental well-being. Make time for friends and family; they can support you when facing challenges.

5. Don't hesitate to seek help or counseling when dealing with mental health issues. There's no shame in asking for assistance; it's a sign of strength to address your mental well-being proactively.

6. Regular health check-ups with medical professionals can help identify and address physical health concerns early, preventing more serious complications later.

7. Set clear goals for your well-being. Whether achieving a fitness milestone or working towards improved mental clarity, having objectives can motivate and guide your efforts.

Prioritizing your physical and emotional well-being isn't selfish. It's an act of self-love and self-preservation that ultimately allows you to lead a happier and more fulfilling life. Remember that taking care of yourself enables you to be at your best for you and those around you.

Experience or try something new each day.

Experiencing something new can be a transformative and enriching practice that brings many benefits to you. While you might not be going on an extreme outing each day, there are small ways to experience that sense of adventure and discovery. First, it keeps your mind engaged and sharp. When you encounter novel experiences, whether it's trying a new food, learning a new skill, or exploring a different place. Your brain is challenged to adapt and process new information. This cognitive stimulation can enhance creativity, problem-solving, and overall mental agility.

Additionally, daily novelty adds excitement and variety to your life. Preventing the monotony of routine from setting in. It helps you break free from your comfort zone, fostering personal growth and a sense of accomplishment. Whether big or small, these new experiences can increase self-confidence as you navigate unfamiliar situations successfully. Lastly, they can broaden your horizons, expose you to different cultures and perspectives, and create lasting memories contributing to a rich and fulfilling life. In a nutshell, the pursuit of daily novelty promotes personal development and a greater appreciation for the world around you.

Endeavor to be a lifelong learner.

• First: lifelong learners have a voracious appetite for knowledge. They maintain a deep interest in the world around them, always asking questions and seeking answers. Whether through books, online courses, podcasts, or conversations with others, they actively seek opportunities to learn something new every day.

• Second: lifelong learners are open-minded and adaptable. They embrace challenges and view failures as opportunities for growth. Instead of shying away from unfamiliar topics or difficulties, they approach them with enthusiasm and a willingness to learn from their mistakes.

• Third: lifelong learners are able to manage time and goal setting, ensuring that they allocate time each day or week to their learning pursuits. This discipline helps them stay committed to their educational journey and consistently make progress in acquiring new knowledge and skills.

Ultimately, the habits of a lifelong learner revolve around a mindset of continuous growth, a persistent curiosity, and a commitment to constant self-improvement. Exposing yourself to new topics, information, and skills is an excellent way to keep your mind active and learn well beyond your school days. Pick up new hobbies, ask a friend to teach you a skill they know, and sign up for free classes – there are plenty of ways to live your best life through learning.

Gratitude: how small things can change your life.

Life can be busy, making it easy to forget how many wonderful aspects of your life you can experience each day. Taking time each day to recognize everything good in your life is a lovely way to increase your overall satisfaction.

Being grateful for small or simple things in life is a powerful practice that can bring immense joy and contentment. Often, you get caught up in the hustle and bustle of your daily routines, chasing after grand achievements and material possessions. In the process, you overlook the beauty of simple pleasures. Take a moment to appreciate small joys. A warm cup of tea on a cold morning, a heartfelt conversation with a loved one, or the sight of a blooming flower. All of which can promote a profound sense of gratitude.

Moreover, acknowledging and cherishing the small things can shift your perspective towards a more optimistic outlook. It reminds you that happiness is not merely contingent on milestones or accomplishments. Instead, it resides in the everyday moments that make up your life. When you express gratitude for these simple pleasures, you become more present and attuned to the richness of your existence. Fostering a sense of contentment and fulfillment that transcends the pursuit of material success.

My final thoughts are:

You have seen the importance of balance, mindfulness, and mindset in your daily life. Whether it's nurturing relationships, setting boundaries, embracing new experiences, well-being, or practicing gratitude. These principles can help you to lead a more fulfilling life while also contributing positively to the lives you touch.

For more information, read these posts.

20 Ways To Live Your Best Life.

Taking Action On Your Intention.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this post.

9 Best Life Lessons I Learned From Gram

Gram’s Wisdom 56

There is something exceptional about grandmothers. They seem to have a knack for making you feel special. Grandmothers always know how to make their grandchildren smile. They love to laugh and have a good time with them. Grandmothers are also the most loving people, always ready to offer a hug or a listening ear.

Grandmothers have often faced many challenges in their lives, but they have always endured. They are strong and resilient, and they never give up. Despite their strength, grandmothers are also gentle and kind. They have a wealth of experience and wisdom to share, and their words of wisdom can stay with us for a lifetime. 

My Gram’s words have been rattling around in my brain for 60 years. They are the same words I use with my grandson. They are the same words I have been sharing in these Gram’s wisdom posts. She once told me, “How we do things changes, the reasons for doing them never change.”

Here are some life lessons that anyone’s grandmother might have passed on:

Be neat and orderly.

Keeping your home clean, neat, and orderly is timeless advice. A devotion to cleanliness isn’t just about surprise guests popping in; there are many benefits to an organized household. These benefits include less stress, more motivation, and productivity.

• A cluttered and messy home can be a source of stress. A clean and organized home, on the other hand, can provide a sense of calm and order. This can help to reduce stress levels and improve your overall mood.

• When your home is clean and organized, you're more likely to feel motivated to get things done. A cluttered space can be distracting and make it difficult to focus. A clean and organized space, on the other hand, can help you to stay on task and be more productive.

Are you looking for ways to improve your mental and physical health, reduce stress, and boost your productivity? Then keeping your home clean, tidy, and organized is a great place to start. Just begin by decluttering one area at a time and make it your habit of putting things away after you use them. (Remember: trying is more important than perfection.)

Be punctual.

Show others you respect their time by arriving on time. Besides being polite, it allows you to pull yourself together and be ready for the meeting, appointment, or visit.

• When you arrive on time, you show the other person that you value their time and you are reliable. It’s also a demonstration that you are prepared and organized and you can manage your time effectively.

• You build trust with others: When you are always on time, people know they can count on you. This can be especially important in professional settings, where trust is essential.

Being punctual is a skill that takes practice, but it is worth it. Set a reminder to leave ten minutes earlier than you normally would. Arriving on time, or even a little bit early, is a simple way to make a good impression. You also set yourself up for success in both your personal and professional life.

Treat others with consideration.

Be flexible in your interactions with people. Different people might require a slightly different approach. They will appreciate the effort, and you will sharpen your people skills.

• Different people have different communication styles and needs. For example, some people prefer to be direct and to the point, while others prefer a more gentle and indirect approach. It's important to adapt your communication style to the individual you're interacting with.

• Being flexible shows you're interested in the other person. When you take time to understand how they communicate and what they need, it shows you're paying attention and that you care about what they have to say. This can build trust and rapport, which leads to more productive and enjoyable interactions.

Connect with people on a personal level and tailor your message to their needs. This can help you to build strong relationships, be more persuasive, and be successful in your career.

Love yourself.

Everyone has their struggles, but never forget to love yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat a loved one. Avoid negative self-talk and don’t attempt to be someone else. You are your person, and that person is special!

• Self-love is essential for mental and physical health. When you love yourself, you are more likely to take care of your physical and mental health. You are also more likely to make healthy choices, such as eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.

• Self-love is the foundation of healthy relationships. When you love yourself, you are more likely to have healthy relationships with others. You are less likely to be codependent or to attract toxic people into your life.

If happiness and success are what you seek, it is important to love yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Skip the negative self-talk and focus on your strengths and your accomplishments.

Rough times come – but they pass.

Nothing lasts forever. Neither good times nor bad times. So, acknowledge that you will face rough times, but they will not last. Take time to lick your wounds, but eventually, you will need to pick yourself up and move forward. 

• Everyone experiences rough times at some point. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated when you are going through a rough time. Don't try to ignore your emotions; that just makes them worse. Instead, allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, and then let it go.

If you are going through a rough time, remember you are not alone. Don't let it consume you. Just continue taking things one day at a time. Eventually, the tough times will pass, and you will be stronger.

Practice good manners. 

Using good manners doesn’t cost anything and brings harmony to your relationships. Remember to say “Please” and “Thank You” and, in general, be considerate of those around you.

1| Good manners make you more likable.

People are more likely to be drawn to and to like you if you practice good manners. This can be helpful in both your personal and professional life.

2| Good manners are a show of respect:

When you use good manners, you show respect for the other person. This can help to build positive relationships and to create a more harmonious environment.

3| Be considerate of others' feelings and needs.

This means things like holding the door open for someone. Allowing someone to go ahead of you in line. And not talking over someone when they are speaking.

4| Be mindful of your surroundings.

This means things like not talking loudly in public, not littering, and not blocking walkways.

5| Apologize when you make a mistake:

Everyone makes mistakes, but it is important to apologize when you do. This shows that you are aware of your mistake and that you are willing to make amends.

Stand by your convictions.

While you should strive to be pleasant and courteous, it is also important that you stand up for your convictions. Be assertive, not aggressive.

• If someone tries to push you around or make you feel bad about yourself, it is important to set boundaries and stand up for yourself. You can do this by calmly and respectfully explaining that you do not appreciate their behavior. You can also walk away from the situation if necessary.

Offer others the respect that you also deserve. It is important to remember that you are worthy of respect, regardless of what anyone else says. You shouldn’t let anyone make you feel like you are less worthy than they are.

Don’t fear failure. 

Lessons are found in your perceived failures. If you succeed at everything, you risk learning nothing. So go out and fail at something, learn the lesson, and become a better person. You will be more apt to reach your goals, too. 

• When you fail, you can learn from your mistakes. You can identify what went wrong and what you can do differently next time. This can help you to improve your skills and to become more successful.

• Failure can also make you more resilient. When you fail, you learn that you can overcome challenges. This can give you the confidence to try new things and to take risks.

• If you never fail, you will never learn and grow. You will never reach your full potential. So don't be afraid to fail. View it as a window for opportunity.

Failure is not something to be afraid of. It is a natural part of life, and it can be a valuable growth tool.

Cherish your family and friends.

Make family and friends a priority. A strong social circle gives you a firm foundation for success. In bad times and good, these are the people you will turn to. Make sure to foster powerful relationships, by ‘giving’ as much as you ‘take’.

• Family and friends can help you to achieve your goals. They can offer you advice, guidance, and motivation. They can also help you to stay accountable and to avoid giving up on your dreams.

• Family and friends make life more enjoyable. They are the people who you can share your joys and sorrows with. They are the people who you can laugh with and cry with. They make life more meaningful and more fun.

• Call a close relative. Have dinner with them and show them that you cherish that relationship.

If you want to be happy, healthy, and successful, make family and friends a priority. Make time for them and listen to them. Be generous to them and forgive them. And be there for them, and they will be there for you when you need them the most.

My final thoughts are.

The above bits of wisdom are simple maxims as true today as they ever were. They are meant to help us behave well and to get along with others. I have only one thing to add and that is be kind.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

For more information, check out these posts.

9 Pieces Of Life Advice From Your Grandma That You Should Actually Listen To.

Little Kindnesses Create Big Impacts.

Think Like An Optimist: Change Your Life

Is optimism an effective mindset or merely a rosy way of looking at things?

Whether optimism is an effective mindset or a rosy way of looking at things is a question that has been debated for centuries. I couldn’t find an easy answer, as there are both benefits and drawbacks to an optimistic outlook.

So, while you may lean to one side or the other in the debate, the answer is probably somewhere in between. Optimism can be a powerful tool for improving our mental and physical health, but it's important to be realistic and avoid excessive optimism.

The best way to use optimism is to find a balance between realism and positivity. It means being positive about our chances of success, but also being prepared for the possibility of failure. Optimism can be a powerful force for good in our lives when we find this balance.

What exactly is optimism?

Some people seem to be naturally more optimistic than others. No matter what fate throws their way, they’re not defeated or angry. They don’t become bitter or even remain cast down for long. So, what is it about some people that prevents them from being crushed by adversity? It comes down to mindset.

Everyone has unfortunate things happen in their life. It’s part of being human. But where some people feel brought to their knees by events, others stay relatively cheerful through bad times. Even seriously bad times like being laid off or going through a divorce. These people are optimists.

Optimism means finding the best in every situation and expecting good things to happen regardless of what’s going on in the present moment. Research shows that optimism can have a positive impact on all areas of your life. From strengthening the immune system to reducing your risk of anxiety and depression, even having a longer life!

Optimists.

    • Don’t blame themselves when things go wrong.

    • Focus on the present and future, and don’t dwell on past hurts.

    • Expect good things to happen to them.

    • Believe they are responsible for their happiness.

Rewiring your thought patterns.

You might be thinking that optimism is innate: that you’re either an optimist or a pessimist. But optimism or pessimism stems from your self-talk, how you react to things, what you expect, and your self-image. The messages we received back in early childhood influenced this. Were you told you were selfish or lazy or no good at math? The feedback that you received about yourself and the world (whether it is a safe or dangerous place) shaped your expectations of adulthood.

These pesky negative thoughts are not you; you can change them. You can reset your pessimistic mindset and become more optimistic by reframing your negative experiences and thoughts into positive ones. If something goes wrong, instead of dwelling on the failure and making it personal, try to be objective and analyze what happened. Did someone else make a decision that impacted whether your project was successful or not? What did you learn from the experience?

Embracing positive thinking also involves being kind to yourself. Optimists don’t stay stuck in the past. If something doesn’t work out the way they thought it would, they move on, confident that success and abundance are just around the corner. Optimists are grateful for the good in their lives right now. They know that there is more than enough to go around, and they understand that the world is full of opportunities for everyone.

You have the power to change your mindset. Have you tended to look on the gloomy side or feel that life is unfair, and you feel powerless? Think about optimism as another skill you can learn. Optimism is a skill of emotional intelligence, a learned habit, and it’s a skill you can begin to develop right now.

When you learn to radiate optimism, you have the power to inspire and uplift those around you.

Optimism vs. positive thinking.

There’s a big difference between being optimistic and thinking positively regardless of what’s going on around you. True optimism stays grounded and doesn’t ignore the facts. It doesn’t mean that you disregard or try to deny feelings of sadness, anger, or grief.

To remain optimistic is to believe that no matter what is happening now, isn’t the end of it. You trust that the future will be better. There will be times in life when things are difficult and look bleak. But remaining optimistic means there’s a way out, something to cling to when times are tough.

Here are some strategies to help you stay optimistic, even in the worst times.

    1. Resilience, optimism, and the reality of your feelings.

An optimistic person recognizes their feelings, be it anger, frustration, disappointment, or sadness, and they don’t stop there. Acknowledging your feelings allows you to feel them, process them, and move forward. Optimism and resilience go hand in hand. You can build resilience and bounce back from challenges with a positive outlook.

    2. Focus on what you have.

The company you keep can play a considerable role in your mindset. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people who inspire you. Ignore the cynics and the negative things in the world. If you don’t, you may miss the small, positive things that surround you.

Notice the good things in your life that you might usually take for granted. Your morning coffee, a reliable water supply, and clean air, knowing you can get to school or the grocery store or to work safely. Being grateful for the life you have now builds up a resilience credit to help you endure tough times when they come. And they will come.

    3. Refrain from consuming bad news.

Obsessively checking social media and news sites will keep your focus on the negative, competitive, complaining view of the world. It’s a lopsided view that thrives on generating dissatisfaction and despair. Of course, you should be aware of current events but make it a conscious choice to balance it with your mental health. Sometimes reading the headlines is enough. Steer clear of the internet and focus on making a positive change in your own life.

    4. Live a genuine life.

Building optimism can assist you to live the best life you can, being true to yourself and your values. Optimism means you choose to live in alignment with your desires and your best self. Having a deep-seated belief that you can live a good life and that there’s more than enough to go around is not putting a falsely positive spin on reality. On the contrary, an optimist looks squarely at reality and works out how to make the best of what he has.

Embody optimism in daily life.

Optimism has been linked to a number of benefits, including better mental and physical health, increased resilience, and greater success in life.

A daily optimism practice is a simple but effective way to boost your optimism and improve your overall well-being. Follow these 10 simple tips, see the world through a more positive lens, and create a happier life for yourself.

1. Delve into the practice of gratitude. Take a few minutes each morning to write down or think about three things you are grateful for. This will help you focus on the positive aspects of your life and set a positive tone for the day.

2. Find the silver lining. When something bad happens, try to find the silver lining. This doesn't mean you have to be happy about the bad thing; instead, it means you can try to find something positive to take away from it.

3. Focus on your strengths. List your strengths and remind yourself of them regularly. This will help you feel more confident and optimistic about your abilities.

4. Help others. Being kind to someone else is a great way to boost your own happiness and optimism. It can also help you connect with others and feel more connected to your community.

5. Take care of yourself. Make sure you are getting enough sleep. Eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly. Taking care of your physical and mental health will help you feel better and more optimistic about your life.

6. Spend time in nature. Our surroundings impact our mood and mindset. Being in nature has been shown to increase optimism.

7. Read positive books or articles. Surrounding yourself with positive messages can help you remain optimistic.

8. Listen to uplifting music. Music can have a powerful effect on your mood. So, listening to uplifting music can help boost optimism.

9. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It can help you focus on the positive aspects of your life and let go of negative thoughts.

10. Visualize your goals. Taking time every day to visualize your goals can help you stay motivated and optimistic.

My final thoughts are.

Remember, cultivating positive thinking is a lifelong practice. By integrating the strategies and mindset shifts we've explored, you'll continue to elevate your optimism and unlock a world of possibilities.

For more information, please check out these posts.

The Benefits Of Optimism

The Power Of Optimism And A Positive Mindset

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10 Ways To Get More Abundance From Your Senior Years

Gram’s Wisdom 54

No matter where you look, you will see the signs of a society obsessed with youth culture. People who are on magazine covers, TV shows, and run social media. There are countless advertisements about regaining your youthful exuberance or keeping your skin looking young. My Gram was interested in all of that because she was always interested in people. How they behaved and why.

I don’t think Gram ever gave much thought to being old. She had told me when she was 85 that officially she was old. But I never saw any evidence of it for the next dozen years or so. At the drop of a hat, she would get on a plane and visit far-flung family. We went to concerts and plays. Gram set the bar very high. No one got to tell her that she couldn’t do what she knew was possible.

Still, for many, entering your older years can make you feel a little down – but only if you allow it, though! Take it from Gram, it’s just another age you haven’t been yet. Accept it and enjoy it.

If you are struggling with that, try these ten tips.

Explore new or old hobbies.

With your children grown up, and gone, you may find you have more time to yourself.  Embrace this newfound freedom by exploring hobbies that pique your interest. What a perfect chance to pick up a new and exciting hobby. Consider painting, where you can express yourself through vibrant colors and brushstrokes. Alternatively, you might try gardening, immersing yourself in the tranquility of nature while cultivating a beautiful and thriving space.  

Choose something you have always wanted to do and go for it! If you enjoy engaging yourself in stories, why not try your hand at writing? Maybe begin a book club to connect with like-minded individuals who share your love for literature. What about that old hobby you didn't have the time to do? Maybe it’s time to see if it’s still a good fit for you. The possibilities are endless, and this is your chance to begin a fulfilling journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Plot or follow a new path.

C. S. Lewis said, “You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream.” Now that your children are grown, you may find that you yearn for exciting experiences and new adventures. You might have reached more than a few goals to get to this point, but that doesn't mean you can't set more. Consider traveling to far-off destinations. Whether it’s an exotic beach destination, a bustling city, or a quiet mountain retreat, now is the time to create new lasting memories. Setting goals in your later years will help you stay active, motivated, and satisfied.

If you prefer a more introspective approach, you can embark on a journey of self-discovery through meditation or mindfulness practices. Taking the time to connect with your inner self can bring a sense of peace, clarity, and renewed purpose to your life. The possibilities are endless, and this chapter of your life presents many opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment.

Keep moving as long as you can.

Regular exercise is important for anyone. But it is especially important as you age. Make sure you get enough cardio in but don't be afraid to lift heavy things. Weightlifting will help you retain the muscle mass you typically lose as you age. In addition to cardiovascular exercise and weightlifting, incorporating flexibility and balance training into your routine is crucial as you age. Engaging in activities such as yoga or tai chi can improve your flexibility, enhance your posture, and help prevent injuries caused by falls.

Give some thought to exploring low-impact exercises like swimming or cycling, which can be gentle on your joints while still providing a great workout. It’s also important to prioritize rest and recovery days to allow your body to heal and recharge. Remember, staying active and maintaining a well-rounded fitness regimen will not only benefit your physical health but also contribute to your overall well-being. You can promote a healthier, more energetic you, as you make the journey of aging gracefully.

Let go of other people’s expectations.

There are those people who will say that after a particular milestone age, you should sit in your rocking chair and be quiet. No! Do not allow anyone to tell you what you can and can't do because of your age. Embrace your independence and live life on your terms, defying societal norms and expectations. Age should never limit your choices or diminish your sense of self.

Explore new fashion trends, experiment with different styles, and express your unique personality through your clothing choices. Wear what makes you feel good. Listen to the music you like, and dance to the beat of your favorite tunes; immerse yourself in the music that connects you to cherished memories. Participate in activities that excite you and make you feel alive.

Your age should never be a barrier to experiencing the richness and fulfillment that life has to offer. Remember, you have earned the right to live authentically and embrace every moment with a sense of adventure and purpose. You aren’t obliged to accept society’s expectations of what it means to age. So, let your spirit soar, and inspire others to challenge the limitations imposed by ageist stereotypes.

Spend time with a variety of ages.

Interacting with people from all different age groups will help you keep things in perspective and provide opportunities for personal growth. Spending time with your grandchildren will reignite your childlike wonder while reminding you of the importance of playfulness and curiosity throughout life.

Similarly, spending time with your teenage family offers insights into the evolving youth culture as well as the challenges and joys of youth. Permitting you to be happy with your maturity and appreciate the wisdom and experiences you have gained over the years.  

Additionally, spending time with older relatives allows you to witness the wisdom and resilience that comes with age. Let it inspire you to embrace the present moment and look forward to the adventures that await you in the future.

Embracing these diverse interactions fosters empathy, understanding, and an appreciation for the different stages of life. Enriching your journey and helping you cultivate a balanced and appreciative outlook.

Keep your health in mind.

Your health should always be one of your priorities. Prioritizing your health includes more than just physical exercise. A balanced and nutritious diet plays a vital role in fueling your body with essential nutrients and promoting overall well-being. Incorporating a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins into your meals can provide the necessary vitamins and minerals for optimal health.

Also, don't overlook the importance of mental well-being. Engage in activities that reduce stress, such as meditation or mindfulness exercises. Consider seeking professional help or counseling if you experience any mental health challenges.

Alongside physical and mental health, remember to schedule regular dental check-ups to maintain oral hygiene and prevent dental issues.

Lastly, don't forget to prioritize your eye health by scheduling regular eye exams to detect and address any vision-related concerns.

By taking a proactive approach to your healthy habits, you can nurture a fulfilling life while minimizing the risk of potential health complications. Regular appointments with your family doctor will help keep you on track.

“Getting old isn’t for sissies.”

— MAE WEST

Stay active in your community.

Physical stimulation is important, but so is mental and social stimulation. When you stay active in your local community, it engenders feelings of connection. Be it volunteering or joining a service club, you will feel more satisfied and happier in general.

• Explore local museums and art galleries, taking in the beauty of culture and history.

• Join a local club or organization that aligns with your interests. Whether it's a book club, a sports team, a hobby group, or a community theater.

• Attend community events, such as festivals, fairs, or fundraisers, to soak up local culture and meet new people.

• Volunteer for a cause or organization that resonates with you, offering your time and skills to make a positive impact in your community.

• Interact with friends and family by organizing regular social gatherings, game nights, or outings.

• Take part in community projects or initiatives, such as neighborhood clean-ups, community gardens, or mentorship programs, contributing to the betterment of your local area.

These are just suggestions, and you can adapt them to your personal interests and community opportunities. Participating in mental, social, and physical activities will help you lead a more fulfilling and connected life.

Be a lifelong learner.

It is never too late to learn something new. Embracing a lifelong learning mindset opens endless possibilities, regardless of age. With the advent of the internet, knowledge and resources are at your fingertips. Making it easier than ever to learn something new. Online platforms offer a wealth of courses, tutorials, and educational materials on a wide range of subjects. Allowing you to explore your interests and expand your skills from the comfort of your own home.

If you prefer a more interactive and communal learning experience, look for local classes or workshops in your area. Engaging with fellow learners and instructors in person can foster collaboration, discussions, and the opportunity to build connections with like-minded individuals. Remember, it's never too late to begin a learning journey, and the joy of acquiring new knowledge and skills knows no age limit. Stay curious, embrace the learning resources available to you, and enjoy the process of continual growth and self-improvement.

Remain positive.

Keeping a positive outlook as you are aging can have huge effects on your overall well-being and quality of life. By consciously choosing to think and act positively, you can cultivate a mindset that promotes happiness and contentment. It's important to acknowledge that staying positive is a continuous effort and may require practice. If you try to think and act positively, you will likely feel it. If you struggle with positivity, try a mindfulness technique like meditation or journaling.

Engaging in regular meditation sessions allows you to calm the mind, observe your thoughts without judgment, and cultivate a sense of positivity. Similarly, journaling provides a safe space to explore your emotions, reflect on positive experiences, and set intentions for a brighter future. Remember, developing a positive mindset is a journey that requires patience. Surround yourself with supportive and uplifting individuals and celebrate even the most minor victories. By embracing positivity, you can approach the aging process with resilience and a greater sense of joy.

Practice deep gratitude.

Understanding the distinction between deeply felt personal gratitude and everyday common or transactional thankfulness is essential for cultivating a richer appreciation of life. Every day, you experience moments of common thankfulness. Such as expressing gratitude for a delicious meal, a kind gesture from a friend, or a beautiful sunset. These instances of gratitude arise from acknowledging the positive aspects of your life and can contribute to a universal sense of well-being.

However, deeply felt personal gratitude goes beyond these everyday moments and observes a sense of appreciation that emanates from the core of our being. It involves acknowledging the blessings, lessons, and growth that come from life's challenges, hardships, and even losses. Deeply felt personal gratitude requires reflection, introspection, and an awareness of the interconnectedness of your experiences and the impact they have on your life. It allows you to find meaning or find silver linings in difficult situations and fosters a sense of contentment and resilience. By developing this deeper level of gratitude, you can cultivate a transformative perspective on life, enhancing your overall well-being and relationships with others.

My final thoughts are.

If we are lucky, we get to grow old. How well we live as we age depends so much on our attitude. Life can feel much shorter if you spend it complaining about your age. As for me, I wake every morning, thankful to be alive, looking forward to another day of opportunities. Just as my Gram did, for more than a hundred years.

For more information, read these posts.

10 Simple Ways To Age Gracefully.

How Exercise Increases Energy And Vitality.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

How To Become A Likable Person

Gram’s Wisdom 53

Do you know someone whom everyone likes? I did, for many years. It was my Gram. Everybody liked her. Young people, old people, and even small children. They all went away with the feeling that they had just met their new best friend. Some people have this ability to skate through life, beloved by everyone. They find it easy to make friends and rarely ruffle anyone's feathers.

All my life I stood in awe of Gram’s ability to draw people to her magnetically. I am a dyed-in-the-wool introvert, so I always believed it was her exceptionally extroverted personality that made her so likable. She, on the other hand, had always believed that these 4 things were the biggest contributing factors to being liked.  

1. Be kind to others, even when they are not kind to you.

2. Find something to be grateful for every day.

3. Focus on the positive aspects of life.

4. Be a good listener.

Since she has been gone, I have had time to give serious thought to the skills and behaviors she and other especially likable people have in common and expanded her list. I knew she wouldn’t mind. 

If you are interested in learning more about the habits of likable people, continue reading.

They are honest and genuine.

Honesty is a key ingredient in likability. You can't be likable if you are constantly lying, it will catch up to you eventually. People are drawn to those who are truthful and trustworthy. When you are honest, you build trust with others, which makes them more likely to like you. 

There are many benefits to being honest. For one, it can help you build stronger relationships with others. When you are honest with your friends, family, and colleagues, they can trust you and rely on you. This can lead to deeper and more meaningful relationships.

Likable people are also genuinely themselves. They don't act like anyone else; they are happy with who they are. When you are authentic, you attract people who appreciate you for who you are. You also make it easier for people to connect with you on a deeper level.

Being authentic can be difficult, especially in a world where we are constantly bombarded with messages about what we should look like, act like, and think like. However, it is important to remember that there is no one right way to be. The most important thing is to be true to yourself.

If you want to be a likable person, it is important to be authentic. Be yourself, and don't be afraid to show your true colors. People will appreciate that about you.

They give freely.

You don't have to give away everything you own to be likable, but being willing to give without receiving anything in return is a key trait of a likable person. People are drawn to those who are kind and giving. When you are willing to give of yourself, you make others feel valued and appreciated. This can lead to deeper relationships and a more positive social environment.

Giving is a sign of kindness, compassion, and generosity. These are all qualities that people admire and respect. You can give your time, your money, or your skills. When you give emotional support or simply a listening ear, this can make a real difference in the lives of those around you. No matter how you choose to give, it is important to do so with a genuine heart.

They are happy to see others succeed.

When someone you care about achieves something great, it is natural to feel happy for them. Likable people take this happiness to the next level by celebrating their friends and family's accomplishments. They are genuinely happy to see others being rewarded, and they do not feel threatened or jealous. They allow them to bask in their glory.

There are many benefits to being around people who are happy to see you succeed. For one, it can boost your self-confidence. When you know that your friends and family are rooting for you, it can make you feel more capable and motivated.

Additionally, being around people who celebrate your accomplishments can help you build stronger relationships. When you feel supported and appreciated, you are more likely to feel close to the people in your life.

Finally, being around people who are happy to see you succeed can make you happier overall. When you are surrounded by positive people, it is easier to focus on the good things in life.

They ask thoughtful questions and listen attentively.

It is often said that we should listen two times as much as we speak. Likable people take this a step further. Listening is a skill often overlooked but is one of the most important skills you can have. When you are a good listener, you show you care what the other person has to say. This can make them feel valued and respected.

Additionally, being a good listener can help you learn more about the people and world around you. When you listen attentively, you can pick up on things that you might not otherwise notice. This can give you a better understanding of their thoughts, feelings, and motivations.

In addition to being good listeners, likable people also ask thoughtful questions. This shows that they are interested in what the other person has to say and that they are paying attention. It also helps you to keep the conversation going and to learn more about the other person.

• Ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no answer.

• Ask questions that are relevant to the conversation.

When asking questions, it is important to be sincere and to ask questions that you are genuinely interested in the answer to. Avoid asking questions that are too personal or that could make the other person feel uncomfortable. It is also important to be respectful of the other person's time and not ask too many questions.

They are positive.

It’s much more enjoyable to spend time with positive people. They might not always be over-the-top happy, but likable people tend to think and behave positively. They are cheerful and will always look for the silver lining in any situation. When you are positive, you make others feel good, and you create a more enjoyable atmosphere for all.

There are benefits to being a positive person. First, it can help you attract positive people into your life. Remember like attracts like. This can lead to more robust relationships and a more positive social environment.

Second, being positive can help you improve your health. Studies have shown that positive people tend to have lower stress levels, better immune systems, and longer lifespans.

Third, being positive can help you achieve your goals. When you are positive, you are more likely to believe in yourself and your ability to succeed. This can lead to greater motivation and accomplishment.

Last, likable people are grateful. They appreciate the advantages that come with positivity.

They are less judgmental than most.

Likable people tend to be less judgmental than the rest of us. If they do judge someone, they will do it silently. They believe that "live and let live" is the best attitude to adopt if your actions cause no harm to anyone. They are less likely to create drama or begin arguments. They are more likely to be supportive and encouraging. As a result, people are more likely to want to be around them.

Likable people also tend to be more understanding and forgiving. They are less likely to hold grudges or to dwell on the negative aspects of a situation. They are more likely to see the good in people giving them the benefit of the doubt by focusing on their strengths rather than their weaknesses.

Likable people are more accepting of differences. They understand that everyone is different and that there is no one right way to live. They are more empathetic. They can put themselves in other people's shoes and understand why they might make the choices that they make. Because they are more confident, they don’t feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better.

They act responsibly.

No one is perfect; everyone makes mistakes at some time or another. Likable people are not afraid to admit when they are wrong. They know that everyone makes mistakes, and they are willing to own up to theirs. They also know that the best way to make up for a mistake is to learn from it and try not to make it again.

Likable people don’t try to wriggle off the hook by blaming others or making excuses. They own up to what they’ve done and simply say “I made a mistake.” They then express their regret for the mistake and let the other person know they are sincerely sorry.

Likable people will do their level best to make amends. This can take the form of an apology to someone you’ve hurt or repairing, replacing something you’ve broken. The object is accountability and learning. They try to understand what went wrong and how they can avoid a repeat of the same mistake in the future.

They are patient.

Likable people are often more patient than others. They don't mind waiting for you to figure out what you want to do. They don't become irritated or annoyed very quickly. They understand that everyone has different needs, and their pace of achievement is also different. They will let you move at your speed, just happy to be in your company.

Likable people are relaxed in manner. They don’t feel the need to rush through things. They find contentment and happiness in taking their time and mindfully enjoying each moment.

Likable people are kind, patient, and supportive because they care about others. They want to make the world a better place, and they know that one way to do that is to be kind to others. They are also patient because they understand that everyone makes mistakes. They are supportive because they want to help others make progress.

My final thoughts are.

Likability can be a skill like any other. Sure, some people come by it naturally, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t practice and adopt the habits of likability. The real secret sauce is for you to genuinely like and care about other people.

For more information, read these posts.

Gift Yourself A Kindness Mindset

13 Habits Of Exceptionally Likeable People

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

Kindness And Its Importance In Your Life

Gram’s wisdom 48: Kindness is important.

“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention.”

Kahil Gibran

Some people are saying that kindness appears to be missing in our society. That far too many people are more connected to their devices than to what happens around them. That they are self-absorbed, inconsiderate, and uncaring.

I don’t believe that at all. Instead, I think the connected people who do care have found their methods of showing it. They are the ones who share pretty pictures, funny cartoons, uplifting messages, and stories of hope and redemption.

Sure, lots of people will scroll by those posts. But not everyone. There will be those few who stop and read, maybe even twice, because it resonates with them. Maybe it makes their heart a little lighter, or their day a bit brighter. And if that isn’t kindness, then I don’t know what is.

My Gram was a firm believer in kindness and compassion. Her view was that no matter how much or little you have, you will always meet people less fortunate than yourself, and they are deserving of your kindness, acceptance, and forbearance. She would tell me that kindness had real value. That it can be easy to throw money at people, but less so to spend your time or your energy.

She often remarked to me that unkindness was the cause of dissension between people. I guess there is a reason why parents tell children “If you can’t say something nice to someone, don’t say anything”.

According to Dr. John and Julie Gottman – founders of the Gottman Institute, which studies relationships – every successful relationship is, in the end, supported by kindness. What’s more, they claim the most important time you should be kind is during some type of conflict, such as when you are arguing with a partner.

Gram told me that a loving, long-lasting relationship with your partner means being able to examine him/her with tolerance, for things to appreciate rather than criticize.

So, why kindness?

As children and even as adults, you look for kindness from your family and friends. You give and receive kindness every day in some form.

Kindness moves people. You remember past kindnesses done to and by you. Kindness nourishes, restores, fortifies, and elevates how you feel about your life.

Studies have shown that kindness though, is not only a good moral value but it is good for you. It is beneficial to your brain, your body, and your emotions in many ways. It is a foundation for a meaningful life.

Here are 7 reasons why kindness is so important.

1. Kindness makes you happier. And everyone seems to be looking for more happiness these days.  When you perform random acts of kindness, you stimulate areas of pleasure, social connection, and hope in your brain.

2. It creates a positive loop in your mind. Kindness makes you happier and happiness makes you kinder. When you are happy, you are more likely to feel giving and kind towards others and act on it.

3. Kindness creates social connections and bonding. As humans, a social connection of some type enhances your physical performance and boosts mental clarity. Being kind allows you to feel part of a group.

4. Kindness helps with the healing process. When healthcare is delivered with kindness it can hasten the healing process, thereby shortening hospital stays. Kinder care leads to an array of outcomes including reduced pain, lowered blood pressure, and less anxiety for the patient and caregivers.

5. Kindness can decrease or help prevent diseases. Kindness lowers our stress and anxiety levels and decreases pain because of the endorphins and feel-good hormones released at the time of the act.

6. Positive emotions from kindness boost your vagus nerve which regulates blood sugar. This helps the body prevent diabetes, strokes, and heart disease.

7. Selflessness has been shown to promote the reward area of your brain. Studies suggest that you get high on being kind.

No matter how small an act of kindness might be, it is good for you. Without kindness, life would often be lonely, filled with anger and despair, disease, and stress. But when kindness is both given and received with no expectations in return, life becomes calmer and happier with more meaningful connections to others.

Being kind is a sign of weakness.

People often believe that being kind means you are a pushover and can be easily taken advantage of.

But is this true?

On the contrary, kindness does not equal weakness. It takes a great amount of courage to be kind to someone who thinks differently than you or is slowing you down in some way.

People who perform regular acts of kindness are often more successful, more resilient, have more friends, are more social, and are well-liked than those who don’t.

How kindness helps you be a better person.

• Kindness increases confidence. Studies show that kindness increases your feelings of self-worth.

• People remember you when you are kind and willing to help others. It sets you apart from others.

• Kindness creates a ripple effect. One person being kind in some way spreads to others, who in turn spread kindness. Kindness is contagious, fostering more kindness.

• Kindness evokes a sense of trust. Studies show that even before establishing your credibility, people who are kind and project warmth are more effective than those who are not.

• Kindness bridges gaps between people. It can reach across barriers in language, gender, locality, religion, and anything else that causes people to misunderstand one another.

Luis Benitez, who has climbed the Seven Summits 32 times, says that kindness and compassion are essential to overcoming terrible physical and mental challenges. He often encounters horrible challenges during his climbs.

As an example, say you see someone limping on the day you need to reach the next camp. Instead of cursing their weakness and ignoring the pain, they are in, you stop to bandage their feet so they can keep up with you.

This is more than just being kind at the moment. If a member of the party lost their ability to hike, your entire group may have to return to the start. Stopping to help a teammate ensures you achieve your own goals.

Reclaim a sense of belonging through kindness.

It’s common to want to feel a sense of belonging. When you belong, you are acknowledged as a member of the group. A sense of belonging is a normal human need as much as the need for food and shelter is. When you feel like you belong, you feel your life has worth and you handle your emotions better.

Sometimes though, you can lose that sense of belonging.

This can be for a variety of reasons. Traumatic events could influence a person’s feelings of self-worth and self-compassion. Trauma often leaves survivors feeling out of step with the rest of the world. They feel lonely, overwhelmed, anxious, confused, and emotional pain creates a sense that they are different.

Your relationship quality is affected by your mental, physical, and emotional health. As researcher and author Brené Brown explains, “A deep sense of love and belonging is a complex need of all men, women, and children. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong.”

Recover a sense of belonging.

One way to help recover a sense of belonging is through kindness. Kindness releases the feel-good hormone. It makes you feel happier and improves your mood. Here are some ways to regain your sense of belonging.

• Contribute to the lives of others by offering to listen and be a sounding board for them. This not only brings them joy but will give you both a feeling of connectedness.

• Have compassion for others who are different from you. Spend time helping others who are less fortunate, and have different likes or needs than you.

• Let go of judgments that build walls. Instead, focus on people by connecting with them. No one is perfect. Everyone has struggles.

• Be kind with your words and way of thinking. Use words that offer strength, compassion, acceptance, and caring.

• Begin building healthy relationships with others using kindness. Healthy relationships are important to a sense of well-being. Help trauma survivors realize they are safe and secure by showing them kindness.

• Turn to your partner for support during tough times.

• Give and receive compliments with kindness.

• Begin doing things that bring you joy. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Give your time at a soup kitchen.

• Join groups or clubs that are interesting to you. Participate in discussions and be kind to those who are members.

• Kindness to both yourself and others is one of the easiest ways to begin gaining your sense of belonging back.

My final thoughts.

Kindness is the secret to a successful and satisfying life. Always be kind because your actions have a greater impact than you realize not only on you but others as well.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Please share it with those you love.

For more information, read these posts.

Why Is Kindness Important?

Little Kindnesses Create Huge Impacts.

What Makes You Feel Grateful And Happy

Gram’s wisdom 47.

Are you ready for more joy and happiness in your life? Gram had told me you won’t find happiness in stuff. That kind of happiness is short-lived because it needs constant stimulus. Instead, you need to practice daily gratitude for long-lasting happiness and contentment. I saw the truth of this as a teenager. My Gram always appeared happy with herself, and where she was in her life.

So, with Gram’s words ringing in my ears and heart, I committed to myself to write down and verbally express what makes me grateful and happy in my life. 

Consider a gratitude practice.

Gratitude sounds delightful, and you should practice it every day. Consider what happens to your brain if you don't practice gratitude and other positive emotions. Your brain is designed to give you what you think about most. In this case, if you think that your life is lacking and nothing ever goes your way, then your brain gets a mistaken idea. Your brain begins looking for more ways to decrease the joy in your life.

By turning that around, when you practice gratitude, your brain believes you want more gratitude combined with happiness and joy. It then works 24/7 looking for ways that you can show gratitude to others as it understands what you give out, will come back to you.

Now, let’s look at some fundamental ways that gratitude can make you happy today and into your senior years.

Believe in your worth.

You have several emotions that can be felt on any given day. You may have a day when you feel drained, and nothing goes your way. It leaves you floundering with your self-worth and self-esteem. This, in turn, diminishes the amount of daily happiness you feel as you struggle to believe you are worthwhile.

When this happens, it leaves you feeling like you don’t deserve what you have in life. Practicing daily gratitude for what you do well and what you currently have in life will improve your self-worth. You will start to stand a little taller and speak with more confidence. You already have enough knowledge in your life, and daily gratitude will make you grateful and start you on the path to helping others.

Remember the people you feel grateful for.

Going through traumatic experiences in life can severely reduce the amount of happiness you feel daily. Gratitude will help you regain that happiness. Emotional trauma can be caused by one person or even an entire family. When this happens, you need to remember the people you feel grateful for, like the person who stands up for you, or that friend who always listens.

Focus on the people who did not cause you injury in your life and list why you are grateful for them. Gratitude and suffering are an unusual pair; but, people who have suffered a terrible accident or illness often find gratitude helps. They increase their happiness by focusing on gratitude for what they have, what they have now, and the lessons that they have learned from their trauma.

Gratitude is like water.

Gratitude is like water. We need water to dilute liquids we find hard to drink. We need water to promote growth. We need water to soften our skin and hydrate us. Gratitude dilutes our harsh emotions, such as anger, frustration, and stress. When those negative emotions become diluted, it provides room for positive emotions such as joy and happiness to grow.

Gratitude not only helps to grow happiness but also takes existing happiness and boosts it. Think of happiness as an ice cream sundae. It tastes great and makes you feel good. But what happens when you add one or two cherries to the top of that ice cream? The flavor is now boosted to the point that your taste buds are screaming with joy.

So, gratitude and happiness go hand in hand. You experience an event such as your niece's 1st birthday party. Without gratitude, you are happy and exchange pleasant words with your sibling. With gratitude and happiness, you double down. Your pleasure now lights up the room, and people want to spend more time with you. They want to absorb the joy and happiness you bring wherever you go.

Compassion and service.

Are you a caring and sharing sort of person? If you are, happiness is part of your life because you serve others. When your gratitude bank is low, you may not be looking out for the best interests of others. It becomes harder to volunteer when help is needed.

Focus on building up your gratitude. Selflessness, when you spread your love and joy to others, can help you receive a boost in happiness. To stand by not serving others will decrease your happiness, and we know that it is not what you want for yourself. As you help others with problems, you will feel happier. In your heart, you will know that you are part of the solution to life's problems.

There are many things seniors can be grateful for.

As you age, you may find it difficult to discover things to be grateful for. Could there be a chance your family or career didn’t turn out as you had pictured it? There is also the possibility that your health will not let you do many activities that you once had done. This is where gratitude can be beneficial for you. Here are 8 things you can appreciate as you age.

1. This is an amazing opportunity as you are already retired or soon to be. Many seniors lament the feeling that without a job they are now useless. Others sit at home and complain that they have nothing to do. If you didn't plan for activities after retirement, get started now. Working and looking after children can be time-consuming. As a senior, you can say, "my time is my own.” Make a list of things you are grateful for that you can do but couldn't do in your middle age. This could include travel, volunteering, or even going back to school.

2. Count the friendships you have had over the years. Some have come and gone for different reasons. You may have even ended a few because you realized it was an unhealthy relationship. Now be grateful for those long-lasting relationships you formed and take the time to make the bond stronger. Be there for each other as you age and express your gratitude for each friend verbally and with written notes. Make time to meet for lunch or maybe coffee occasionally.

3. As we go through school and 40-odd years of work, we may lose a sense of who we are as people. The pace of life was hectic. Now that you are older, you can reflect on your overall makeup, and if you see a need to improve areas of your attitude or mindset, you can do that. Be thankful for the opportunity to fine-tune who you are. Next, find ways to show your gratitude and wisdom to younger people who may be struggling in different areas.

4. Hitting senior years means that you will now get small rewards. There may have been times in your life when you wished you had a discount at the drugstore or for something such as travel. Yes, the senior's discounts are not huge, but something is better than nothing. Feel gratitude for having made it this far when so many do not and being around to get that freebie just because you have silver hair.

5. This is a golden opportunity to spend more time with your loved ones, including children and grandchildren. While they love seeing you, they are also grateful that you are there to lend an ear or even do something special for them. Social media shows us several videos of elderly parents doing special things for their children. One video shows a father driving to his daughter's house and spreading salt, so she doesn't slip on her way to the car. Feel the gratitude that you are here and able to treat your children with love and respect. You may have had a career that cut down on the amount of time you could spend with your children. Now is your time to shine.

6. As you move along in your senior years, you now have time to spend going through your positive memories. One special activity you can do is build a collage or scrapbook of old photographs. Take each special photograph and consider why you were grateful for that moment. Flesh this scrapbook out by writing down the details such as names, dates, and places. Once you have built your collage, have a special dinner with your loved ones and share what you have done. They will be grateful for your love, and in time it will be a keepsake for them.

7. You now have the time to pursue not just one hobby but many. Working on hobbies will keep you mentally sharp. This is also a chance to be grateful for the grandchildren, and you can even share your hobby. For example, woodworking is an amazing hobby; any grandchild would love to do it with you. A hobby shared across a table is one of the best ways to talk with a grandchild.

8. While technology can sometimes be overwhelming, it is something you can be grateful for as a senior. Think back to when parents had to write a letter to one of their children who had moved to another country. You can connect instantly with your children no matter where they are. You can also be grateful for the amazing advancements in medicine and overall self-care. You have specialized vitamins for seniors to keep you healthy, whereas your grandparents did not. Think about how technology is helping you and be grateful for it.

My final thoughts.

Gratitude has played an immense part in my life. It was my Gram who shared with me that gratitude is a feeling of the heart and mind. I have seen and felt throughout my life that happiness and contentment are a direct result of the gratitude in your heart.

For further information, read these posts.

Six Benefits Of Practicing Gratitude For Seniors.

3 Awesome Benefits From Daily Gratitude.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Pass it on to someone you know who would find it beneficial.