Kindness Hack: How It Makes You Happy

Gram’s Wisdom 60: The kindness and happiness relationship.

Being kinder is not about making sacrifices or denying your own needs. Treating people kindly should not feel like an imposition or another task added to your already long list of items to be checked off.

It’s the outward display of living positively. Kindness is about mindset, and you can train your brain to make kindness a habit. Ever notice that being kind to someone makes you feel good too? It’s because altruism promotes a chemical reaction in your brain, releasing serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine. These chemicals not only make you feel good but also work to reinforce positive social behavior. By laying down new neural pathways, you set yourself up for living a kinder, happier life.

My Gram wouldn’t have known any of those things and I doubt she would have cared even if she had known. Gram always seemed happiest when she could be of use to people. She understood all people need kindness at some point. Gram was interested in what people were going through and how they felt. She always seemed to have the right words to say to the person who was hurt, confused, or upset. But more than anything Gram believed that as individuals we should be kind to others wherever we can. And to be unkind was the worst thing you could do.

Here are some scientifically proven tips for engineering kindness into your brain.

    1. Choose to be kind.

In choosing to be kind, you are consciously resetting your mindset to treat people with compassion and empathy. Choosing kindness isn't just a passive act; it's a change in your behavior and the world around you. Notice the effect of your kindness on others. When you smile, you see faces that mirror your positivity. Their natural reaction is to smile back. You’ve set up a kindness loop that continues to pay itself forward, creating a wave of goodwill. Ripples of compassion spread outward, touching many unknown lives. And the beauty? That ripple circles back to you.

Even on days when you feel low, a conscious act of kindness becomes a ray of light. Witnessing the joy in another's eyes ignites your own heart, sending a sense of purpose through your being. Negativity fades away, replaced by the power of connection. It's a wonderful paradox, choosing kindness for others morphs unexpectedly into your happiness. At that moment, you understand – happiness isn't found, it's created with each kind of act you perform.

• The active nature of kindness: It's not just a fleeting feeling, but a deliberate choice with impactful consequences.

• Ripple effect: Kindness's impact spreads outward and returns to the giver.

• Mood boost: Choosing kindness can brighten even the dreariest days.

• Purpose and happiness: Kindness connects us to others and brings personal fulfillment.

    2. Do more random acts of kindness.

Turns out, happiness isn’t just a lucky charm. Research studies have shown that carrying out five random acts of kindness every week is the single most effective way of increasing your happiness. Anything from buying a pay-it-forward coffee to allowing another driver into the traffic with a smile and a wave, or the selfless act of shoveling snow from your neighbor’s sidewalk. These seemingly small gestures will make you and the other guy feel good. It’s a lovely exchange – you spread kindness, and in return you get happiness.

Remember, kindness isn't just about random acts of generosity, it's a way of being in the world. By your behavior and kindnesses, you cultivate a kinder, more compassionate version of yourself, one brain scan at a time.

    3. Be kind to yourself.

Self-kindness begins with attention to the narrative running through your head. Is it one of encouragement, cheering you on with “yes you can”? Or is it a harsh critic, muttering doubt and negativity? Today, choose a different tune. Exchange the criticizing voice for one of moderation. One that says, “You’ve got this”. Pay attention to that voice in your head and change the message to kindness.

Build small acts of self-care into your day. Reward yourself for the big wins. But don’t forget the small things, a completed task, a morning walk, a moment of reflection. Prioritize the things that make you feel good. Whether it’s curling up with a good book, savoring a delicious meal, or losing yourself in a creative flow. Don’t forget that self-kindness is also about your body. Make sure you get enough sleep, stay hydrated, and eat a nutritious diet.

    4. Gratitude rewires your brain for kindness.

Most people have heard of the power of counting blessings. Research has shown that focusing on the good things in life, and practicing gratitude, makes you happier. But it doesn't stop there. Research is proving that cultivating gratitude, the act of appreciating the good things in your life isn't just a feel-good practice. When you take time to count your blessings, your brain does some cool things. Studies show that the areas associated with stress shrink, while regions linked to self-awareness, empathy, and compassion grow.

 How does this translate to kindness?

·By regularly noticing the good things, even the tiny moments, you re-mold your neural pathways. This isn't just mumbo jumbo - brain scans show dramatic transformation.

• Increased self-awareness: By appreciating what you have, you become more mindful of yourself and others. This makes you more sensitive to their needs and feelings, opening doors to acts of kindness.

• Boosted empathy: Gratitude builds connections. When you recognize your blessings, you're more likely to acknowledge and appreciate the good in others, leading to more compassionate actions.

Simple ways you can be kinder today.

Being kind isn’t difficult. Once you’ve set your mindset to ‘Kind,’ you’ll notice all kinds of opportunities throughout your day to reach out and be kind to someone.

As a bonus, once you’re in the kindness loop, you’ll notice you feel happier and more fulfilled. Scientists call this ‘the helper’s high’ as altruistic acts trigger the same endorphins as a ‘runner’s high’.

• Kindness becomes second nature: As your compassion grows, it becomes easier to be understanding, forgiving, and helpful.

• Stress-less, connect more: With less anxiety clouding your mind, you connect more deeply with others, fostering authentic kindness and empathy.

Here are some examples of ways to include kindness in your day.

    1. Stop. Let a pedestrian cross the street or allow another driver into the traffic.

    2. Say please and thank you.

    3. Say good morning and good night to your colleagues.

    4. Smile at a stranger.

    5. Hold the door for the next person.

    6. Hold the elevator.

    7. Let someone with only a few items go in front of you in the grocery store.

    8. Do a coffee run for your colleagues.

    9. Hug your loved ones.

    10. Push the trash bins out for your neighbors.

    11. Mow your elderly neighbor’s lawn.

    12. If you’re going to the store, ask your neighbor if you can pick anything up for them.

    13. Try volunteering at your local soup kitchen or shelter.

    14. Be the bigger person and let the other guy have the coveted parking space.

    15. Stand up for someone on the bus or subway.

    16. Ask a stressed-out co-worker if you can help.

    17. Help wash the cups after a meeting.

    18. If the photocopier is running empty, replace the toner and fill the paper bin.

    19. Buy surprise flowers for your partner.

    20. Give some coins to a street entertainer.

    21. Pledge to stop complaining for a week.

    22. Join your company’s mentor or buddy program.

    23. Leave a book or magazine on the subway or in a bus station.

    24. Donate your excess art supplies or craft materials to an elementary school.

    25. Encourage your kids to sort through their stuff and donate items in good condition to charity.

    26. Donate money to your favorite charity or non-government organization.

    27. Notice what your partner or colleagues are wearing and pay a few compliments.

    28. Ask a friend or colleague how they are and listen to the answers.

    29. Reach out to family members or friends, send a text message, or call them to see how they are.

    30. Clean up your neighborhood. If you see trash in the street, pick it up and put it in the bin.

Allow your compassion to spill over into your actions. By appreciating the good in your life, you become more familiar with the struggles and joys of others. When you realize the value of what you have, you naturally feel more inclined to share it with others. You're more likely to offer a helping hand, a kind word, or a smile.

My final thoughts.

I have always liked the descriptive way the ripple effect sounds as a kindness metaphor. Being kind to the person next door turns you into a neighbor. Rippling further out is your community, and further again is your town. It’s the care and consideration we show to people that make a society.

For more information, check out these posts.

Kindness Matters Guide.

It’s A Less Kind World We Live In.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

Create A Dynamic Gratitude Journaling Practice

If you've recently begun gratitude journaling, you might be contemplating whether you're optimizing the benefits of your daily ritual. Deciding this is a personal matter, but there are eight actions you can take to enhance your journaling experience and obtain maximum benefits. Whether you're on a healing journey or simply aiming to introduce thankfulness into your daily life for a more contented existence, writing down your thoughts in a gratitude journal is a powerful tool. This is why gratitude journals are so popular.

So, if you've felt stumped for ideas of what to write about, give the following eight ideas a try. I believe you'll have plenty to write about in no time!

The feelings are in the details.

Expressing gratitude for your home and cherished relationships is a heartwarming exercise. Yet, soon, it’s common to find yourself stuck in a loop of sameness. The key to maintaining this practice is to delve into the finer details, uncovering the nuances that make each experience unique. Rather than merely naming individuals or items, explore the specific reasons behind your appreciation. For instance, instead of a generic thanks to a best friend, tell them exactly what moments touched your heart. Like the time they stayed up with you all night, offering a listening ear when you needed it the most. By delving into these specifics, your gratitude becomes more reflective and authentic. This approach not only keeps your expressions of thankfulness fresh and engaging but also fosters a deeper connection with the elements of your life that bring you joy and support.

Pause and appreciate the moment.

In the rush of your daily life, taking a moment to center yourself through mindfulness or meditation can be a transformative practice. By intentionally pausing and emptying your mind, you create a space to tune into your current emotional, physical, and spiritual state. As you relax, allowing your mind to drift freely, you discover a treasure trove of simple yet beautiful moments to be thankful for. Whether it's the gentle melody of wind chimes outside or the enticing aroma of dinner wafting from the oven. These small details often go unnoticed in the rush of your routines. Writing about these recent sources of gratitude not only deepens your appreciation for the present moment but also serves as a reminder of life's small joys that enrich your daily experiences.

Ask yourself why, and then ask why again.

When expressing gratitude, take a moment to explore the layers beneath your initial thankful thought. Dive deeper into the why behind your appreciation and ask yourself probing questions until you uncover the root cause. For instance, your gratitude for chocolate chip cookies may lead you to a cherished childhood memory of your grandmother baking them for you with love. By acknowledging these underlying sentiments, you not only celebrate the surface-level joys but also the sentimental “treasures" that amplify your gratitude. This reflective practice not only heightens the richness of your expressions but also strengthens the emotional connections between you and the sources of your gratitude.

Broaden the field of your gratitude.

If your daily gratitude reflections have begun to feel repetitive, consider broadening your perspective to uncover appreciation in different facets of your life. It's natural to emphasize family, but there's a vast reservoir of gratitude in work achievements, past experiences, and the beauty of nature. By varying your sources of gratitude, you infuse freshness into your reflections and develop a more well-rounded perception of thankfulness. Here are some tips to help you explore gratitude beyond the familiar:

• Shift your focus: Direct your gratitude lens towards areas like work accomplishments, personal growth, or moments in nature.

• Reflect on past experiences: Revisit cherished memories or lessons learned from challenges to find gratitude in your journey.

• Connect with nature: Acknowledge the simple wonders of the natural world around you, from a sunrise to a blooming flower.

• Express gratitude for small wins: Celebrate daily triumphs, no matter how minor, to cultivate positivity.

• Rotate themes: Designate specific days for different themes, such as relationships, achievements, or the beauty of the world, to keep your gratitude practice dynamic and engaging.

Take a break and do something else.

If the thoughts aren’t coming, give yourself a break. This isn’t a race. Walk away and do something else for a bit, such as emptying the dishwasher. Let your mind wander through this activity. What about this task? Can you be grateful for clean dishes? How about the time you shared with your family cleaning up the kitchen together after dinner last night? Perhaps the meal you’re going to eat next on these dishes? Come back and write about these things. Give them a new slant.

It's sometimes surprising to see just how much there is to be grateful for, isn't it? The best part? The more you journal your gratitude, the more your attitude will shift to one of compassion and kindness. Truly, a grateful heart is a happy one!

Try a different structure.

When most people think of journaling, they think of writing letters to themselves or simply writing sentences about their feelings. But this isn’t the only structure you can journal in, and the truth is, it may not be the most effective for you. Consider changing your journal structure, or better yet, using more than one structure in your journaling. This will ensure you are getting the most out of your journaling time. Consider adding lists, photos, tables, or diagrams to your gratitude journaling.

Be complimentary to yourself.

In gratitude journaling, people tend to write about all the things or people they are grateful for in their lives. And there is nothing wrong with this, just make sure you don’t forget to be thankful for the most important person you know, yourself! The best practice is to write a few things you like about yourself each day when you journal. This way, you can reflect on how your day went and watch your transformation as you become a better version of yourself. 

Be grateful for any lessons you’ve learned.

No one’s life is perfect, and when gratitude journaling, you may find that sometimes you have days where you make major mistakes that you are embarrassed by. And this is okay, and even something you should be thankful for! Rather than viewing your mistakes as setbacks, include them in your gratitude journal as lessons, approach them with an open mind, and be grateful for having had the opportunity to learn. This will help keep you from making the same mistakes again.

Fostering gratitude is not just about listing the people or things you're thankful for but noticing and recording the details that make each moment special. By exploring the nuances of your appreciation, expressing gratitude becomes a richer and more authentic practice. Whether you're uncovering the buried moments of your past, savoring the small joys in everyday life, or broadening your scope to new areas, gratitude is a dynamic force that can bring positivity and depth to your reflections. Remember to center yourself, allowing your mind to drift and find unexpected sources of thankfulness. With these tips in mind, your gratitude practice can evolve, staying fresh and meaningful every day. Embrace the variety of your experiences, and let gratitude become a powerful and transformative thread woven into the fabric of your life.

My final thoughts.

Wherever you are in your gratitude journaling journey, you are certainly benefiting from the practice. But if you truly want to make sure you are getting the most from it, don’t forget to compliment yourself, and don’t be afraid to see your mistakes. After all, your gratitude journal is a safe space for you to express everything you are grateful for without any outside judgment. 

For more information, check out these posts.

5 Reasons Keeping A Gratitude Journal Will Change Your Life.

It’s Never Too Late To Begin A Journaling Habit.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

Models For A Mindful Life

Gram’s Wisdom 59:

My Gram wouldn’t have heard/known the term mindfulness, yet she lived her life in a mindful way. She was in touch with her surroundings, in touch with herself, and in touch with people. Gram always found time to go outside take a walk and listen while the earth and nature spoke. If I was having a particularly bad day, I was told to shut my eyes, take a deep breath, and try to see myself differently. Gram told me once that there was no better way to learn something new than to have simple conversations with others.

If you have made the decision to be more mindful in your daily life but aren't exactly sure where to start, you have come to the right place! Below are ten practices you can adopt to make practice easier.

1) Observe new distinctions.

Mindfulness is a powerful practice that invites you to engage with the present moment in a way that goes beyond mere existence. One key aspect of mindfulness involves actively observing new distinctions. Picture it like tuning into the subtle details of your surroundings, emotions, or your thoughts. When you make a conscious effort to notice the nuances and distinctions in your experiences, a remarkable change occurs. It's like seeing the world with fresh eyes, discovering the beauty in the ordinary. This intentional observation enriches your understanding of the present and brings about a rush of positive effects. The more you explore your daily life, the more you find to appreciate and savor.

Moreover, actively observing new characteristics heightens interest in your life. It's like turning the pages of a captivating book, eager to discover what happens next. By paying attention to the details, you become an active participant rather than a passive spectator in the narrative of your existence. This increased engagement with the present moment deepens your connection to life and opens the door to greater fulfillment. Embrace mindful observation, seek out the subtleties that make each moment unique, and cultivate a more enriched and meaningful life experience.

2) See in yourself a “work in progress.”

Shifting your perspective is another crucial aspect of mindfulness that can significantly impact your well-being. Often, you get caught up in the pursuit of a specific outcome, whether it's acing a project, achieving a fitness goal, or mastering a new skill. However, the magic lies in enjoying the process rather than fixating on the result. When you savor the journey, every small step becomes a victory, and the overall experience becomes more rewarding. It's akin to appreciating the brushstrokes on a canvas rather than obsessing over the finished painting. By embracing this mindset, you not only reduce stress and anxiety but also adopt a genuine sense of joy in your actions.

Furthermore, the way you perceive yourself plays a fundamental role in your mindfulness journey. When you’ve boxed yourself into rigid and negative labels, like declaring, "I am bad at art," you limit your potential. Viewing yourself as a fixed entity makes you susceptible to mindless thinking, and these negative thoughts can inadvertently manifest as self-fulfilling prophecies. Instead, acknowledge that, like a piece of clay, you are ever-changing and malleable. Embracing this flexibility allows you to break free from self-imposed limitations.

3) Examine paradoxes. 

Delving into the scope of paradoxes offers a unique pathway to personal growth and resilience. Actively paying attention to these seemingly contradictory aspects of life enables the development of a profound skill: the ability to accept and tolerate ambiguity. Life is intricate, filled with situations that may appear contradictory at first glance, but exploring these paradoxes helps you navigate the nuances with grace. As you become more skilled at accepting ambiguity, the anxiety often associated with uncertainty begins to subside. It's like learning to dance through the uncertainties of life rather than feeling paralyzed by them.

Additionally, this practice of actively considering paradoxes extends beyond external circumstances and becomes a valuable tool for self-discovery. Recognizing the paradoxes within yourself is a transformative process. It involves admitting the complexities that make you uniquely human—your strengths alongside your vulnerabilities, your successes connected with your challenges. By shining a light on these internal paradoxes, you encourage a deeper sense of self-awareness. This self-awareness allows you to make more intentional choices and furthers a greater understanding of your motivations and behaviors.

4) Add humor to mindfulness.

Laughter, often hailed as the best medicine, carries with it a profound connection to mindfulness. Humor has a remarkable way of prompting us to step back and view situations from unexpected angles. It's like a mental gymnastics routine that nudges you out of your habitual thought patterns, encouraging a fresh perspective. When you find humor in your life or situations, you're essentially engaging in a form of mindfulness. It's not just about the punchline; it's about the mental agility required to recognize the unexpected and appreciate the lightness amid life's complexities. By tapping into this humorous mindset, you become more resilient and better equipped to navigate challenges with a sense of playfulness and optimism.

Also, the ability to find humor in life contributes to a greater acceptance of your circumstances. Laughter serves as a tool in breaking down the barriers of resistance or frustration. It doesn't necessarily diminish the seriousness of a situation, but it provides a coping mechanism that allows you to approach challenges with a lighter heart. This acceptance is rooted in mindfulness, as it involves a sharpened awareness of the present moment and an openness to finding joy even in the face of adversity. Celebrate the therapeutic power of laughter, seeing in it a conscious choice to embrace the unexpected with a smile.

5) Consider other points of view.

Approaching a problem from various perspectives not only enhances problem-solving skills but also contributes to a greater sense of acceptance. When you limit yourself to a fixed interpretation of a situation, it becomes challenging to navigate and accept the nuances that may exist. Considering the viewpoints of different people opens a world of possibilities, making the problem more palatable. Here are some key points to highlight the benefits of embracing diverse perspectives:

• Enhanced Problem-Solving: By considering various viewpoints, you tap into a collective pool of ideas and solutions, enriching your problem-solving approach.

• Increased Empathy: Understanding different perspectives cultivates empathy, promoting a more compassionate and open-minded approach to problem acceptance.

• Reduced Resistance: Embracing diverse viewpoints minimizes the resistance that often arises from rigid interpretations, making it easier to acknowledge and work through challenges.

• Cultivation of Creativity: Diverse perspectives fuel creativity, encouraging you to think outside the box and explore innovative solutions to problems.

• Facilitation of Learning: Engaging with different viewpoints is a learning opportunity, promoting personal and intellectual growth by expanding your understanding of various facets of a situation.
  
  

6) Choose positive alternatives to your problems.

In the face of challenges or undesirable outcomes, it's crucial to shift your mindset from mere problem recognition to one of potential growth. Every problem, no matter how daunting, possesses a silver lining waiting to be uncovered. Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects, ask yourself, "How can this problem contribute to my ongoing personal and professional development?" By reframing the situation as an opportunity for growth, you pave the way for a more resilient and positive perspective. Challenges are not roadblocks; they are bridges offering valuable insights and lessons that contribute to resilience and wisdom.

Each problem is the classroom, and you’re the student. What lessons can be taken away from the current predicament? Is there a skill to be honed, a perspective to be gained, or a strength to be discovered? Embracing problems as learning opportunities positions you as an active participant in your own life. Moreover, recognizing the potential for opportunity in every problem fosters a sense of curiosity and adaptability, converting what could be perceived as a disaster into an exciting adventure. The difference lies not in the problem itself but in how you choose to identify and engage with it.

7) Keep a joy collection.

Building a joy collection is like curating a treasure trove of happiness readily available whenever you need a mood boost. This collection can take various forms, from written paragraphs vividly describing joyful moments to an assortment of photos capturing those special times. The key is to make these memories easily accessible, creating a go-to source of positivity. In the hustle and bustle of life, it's all too common to get caught up in the challenges and setbacks, inadvertently overlooking the reservoir of joyous experiences that shape our lives.

The significance of reflecting on positive moments has been shown to elevate your positive mental state. Your joy collection serves as a personal archive of happiness, reminding you of the laughter, accomplishments, and simple pleasures that have graced your journey. Whether it's revisiting the description of a cherished memory or flipping through photos that encapsulate moments of pure joy, your joy collection becomes a powerful tool for cultivating gratitude and maintaining a brighter outlook on life.

8) Create a mindful journal.

Beginning or concluding your day with the practice of documenting significant events adds a touch of mindfulness that can profoundly impact your overall well-being. This routine not only helps in reflection but also in cultivating a heightened awareness of your experiences. Here are several examples to consider as you embark on this mindful journaling journey:

1 | Expressing Gratitude: Jot down moments that made you feel grateful during the day, whether they were small gestures or significant events.

2 | Achievements and Milestones: Document your accomplishments, whether big or small, celebrating your progress and recognizing your efforts.

3 | Challenges Overcome: Note instances where you faced challenges and successfully navigated through them, highlighting your resilience.

4 | Acts of Kindness: Record both the kindness you received and the kindness you extended, fostering a sense of connection and goodwill.

5 | Beautiful Sights or Sounds: Capture the beauty in your surroundings, from a breathtaking sunrise to the soothing sounds of nature.

6 | New Learnings: Write about insights gained or lessons learned during the day, fostering continuous personal growth.

7 | Reflections on Challenges: Explore your thoughts and emotions surrounding challenges, fostering a deeper understanding of your responses.

8 | New Perspectives: Consider events from different angles, noting any shifts in your perspective and understanding of situations.

The mindful reviewing of these entries promotes a more conscious and appreciative approach to life.

9) Engage in mindful exercise. 

Engaging in physical activities like walking, biking, or weightlifting provides an excellent opportunity to cultivate mindfulness in your daily routine. As you embark on these activities, take a moment to immerse yourself fully in the experience. Feel the rhythm of your footsteps or the resistance of the weights, notice the sights around you, and breathe in the scents of your surroundings. This heightened awareness not only deepens your connection to the present moment but also tunes you into the messages your body is sending. By consistently practicing mindfulness during these activities, you develop a familiarity with the mental state, making it more accessible in other aspects of your life. This carries over into decision-making as the clarity and presence cultivated through these physical practices lay a foundation for making more intentional choices in various areas of your life.

10) Change up your routine.

Venturing into the realm of the unfamiliar by trying new things is a deliberate approach to staying mindful and invigorating your daily routine. It's the small, intentional deviations from the norm, such as choosing a different place to sit, taking an alternate route home, or exploring a new restaurant, that inject a sense of novelty into your experiences. These seemingly minor acts disrupt your habitual patterns and, in turn, prompt you to be fully present in the moment. The world becomes a canvas of possibilities when you break away from the usual, allowing you to notice details that might have gone unnoticed in your routine. This practice extends beyond the physical realm, as it encourages you to adopt a fresh perspective on life, reminding you that every experience, no matter how small, holds the potential for newfound awareness and appreciation.

My final thoughts.

As with so many things in my life I have my Gram to thank for the beginning of a lifelong mindfulness practice. She always said that life was a gift and that it needed attention. So, each year I pay a little more attention because I believe life is a miracle, and it should not be wasted.

Thank you for reading this post, I hope you have enjoyed it.

For more information, check out these posts.

10 Easy Ways To Be Mindful While Doing Every Day Tasks.

Establishing The Essential Principles Of Mindfulness.

Let Nature Be Your Guide To Inner Peace

Are you feeling disconnected with yourself, your life, or the inner peace you wish you had? Maybe you're so preoccupied with everything in your daily existence that you hardly have time to realize what goes on around you.

Perhaps the only time you observe nature is when the weather has the nerve to meddle with your to-do list. Maybe you can't recall the last time you were inclined to simply sit outdoors in quiet observation, leaving your phone and your cares inside.

There is indeed an enormous amount of proof that spending time in nature has a considerable beneficial influence on mental and physical health. Strolling in a green space has been demonstrated to help with mental health issues such as depression and ADHD. 

For some of us, being in nature can become the beginning of a meditation practice, or a heightened spiritual understanding of how we are all related. For others, it is simply an incredible method to relieve tension.

Time spent in nature is a delightful way to temporarily forget oneself while concentrating on things outside of ourselves. In addition to treating mental health challenges and enhancing physical well-being.

Here are a few excellent techniques to begin bonding with the natural world around you, no matter where you want your time outside to take you.

1. Slow your steps to the speed of nature.

Walking slowly has a calming effect on your breathing. It also opens a world of subtle beauty that often goes unnoticed in the hurried pace of modern life. When you consciously slow down your steps, you create an opportunity to engage with your surroundings on a deeper level. It's as if a veil has been lifted, revealing the intricate wonders that exist within the commonplace.

A tiny lichen thriving in a sidewalk crevice suddenly becomes a miniature forest, showcasing the resilience of life in unexpected places. Similarly, a previously overlooked tree now commands your attention with its unique branches and leaves. A testament to the diversity of nature in urban settings.

As you embark on this thoughtful exploration, you become attuned to the symphony of sounds in your environment. The rustling leaves, chirping birds, and distant traffic hum. The world around you begins to unfold in an array of colors, textures, and scents. The soft caress of a gentle breeze on your skin and the warmth of sunlight filtering through the foliage provides a sensory experience that feels deeply nourishing.

A feeling of peace may be your companion in this slower pace of life. You might even engage in spontaneous conversations with fellow pedestrians, making connections that would have remained hidden in the rush. Time stretches before you, and worries fade as you immerse yourself in the present moment.

Embrace the art of walking slowly. For it is not only a physical act but a mindfulness practice that invites you to savor the richness of your surroundings. With each unhurried step, you promote a deeper connection to the world, and in doing so, discover the extraordinary within the ordinary.

2. Test barefoot breathing.

Find a peaceful spot outside—a park nook, a quiet space in your garden, or your favorite wild location. Slip off your shoes. Shut your eyes and take 100 deep, soft breaths while feeling the sunlight on your face, the breeze on your body, and the warm heart of the ground through the soles of your feet.

Indeed, humans are unique in their tendency to separate themselves from the direct connection with the Earth's natural energies using shoes. This intriguing phenomenon highlights a reflective aspect of our relationship with the environment. When you peel away the layers of modernity and remove your shoes, it's as if you have discovered an ancient, primal connection that has been buried beneath the trappings of civilization.

Standing barefoot on the Earth is a return to a more instinctive state, a recovery of the close bond that our ancestors had with the land. The sensation of cool soil, warm sand, or dewy grass beneath your feet can be remarkably grounding. It's as if the Earth is cradling you, sharing her vital energy with your very being.

This act satisfies a need for connectivity. Reminding us that we are not separate entities in the world but a part of a vast, unified ecosystem. Through the soles of your feet, you can absorb the Earth's energy, ground yourself in the present moment, and harmonize with the natural rhythms of life.

In this simple act of shoelessness, there is a sense of liberation from the limitations of the modern world. It's a repossession of a lost connection, an appreciation of our shared existence with the planet. It’s a reminder that, despite our technological advancements, we are, at our core, earthbound beings pursuing a relationship with the spirit of the Earth.

3. Dine alfresco.

Taking your lunch or a good book outside to savor amid nature is a simple yet refreshing act. It's a chance to escape the confines of indoor spaces and embrace the great outdoors. As you settle onto a park bench or spread out a picnic blanket, you open yourself to a world of sensory delights.

The fresh air that surrounds you carries the whispers of the natural world. The scent of blooming flowers, the earthy smell of grass, and rustling leaves in the breeze. With each breath, you inhale the invigorating essence of the environment, revitalizing your body and mind.

Natural sunlight, whether filtered through the branches of a tree or blanketing the open space, washes you in its warm embrace. The life-giving energy of the sun fills you with vitality and brightens your mood. The play of light and shadow creates an ever-changing canvas, enhancing your appreciation of the world's beauty.

As you dine or lose yourself in the pages of a captivating book, the music of nature provides a soothing backdrop. Birdsong, the distant murmur of water, and the occasional movement of wildlife become the soundtrack to your experience. Enhancing your sense of connection to the natural world.

In these moments outdoors, you're not just feeding your body or engaging your mind; you're nurturing your spirit. You allow yourself to be fully present and open to the beauty and wonder of the environment. To find solace in the simple pleasures of life. So, seize the opportunity to dine al fresco or lose yourself in a book under the open sky, for in these moments, you'll discover a sense of harmony and inner peace.

4. Give a tree a hug.

While the term "tree-hugger" may be employed with a touch of irony, there's a genuine and revitalizing practice behind it. Hugging a tree isn't just an ecological statement; it's a simple yet reflective way to connect with nature and replenish your energy reserves. When you approach a tree intending to embrace it, you're about to partake in an age-old ritual that transcends language and culture.

As you close your eyes and press your cheek against the rough, textured bark of the tree, you initiate a sensory understanding like no other. The bark, a protective layer for the tree, now becomes a channel for your connection to the natural world. It's as if you're sharing a moment of familiarity with a living, breathing entity.

Spread your arms to encircle the tree, you're engaging in a silent conversation with nature. In this embrace, you can feel the tree's steadfastness and its resilience. Its deep-rooted connection to the earth becomes a reminder of the interconnectedness of all life on our planet.

In this simple act of hugging a tree, you're forming a bond. Exchanging a bit of your vitality for the wisdom and serenity that the tree offers while also reminding you of your place in life. It's a moment of quiet communion, a chance to slow down and rekindle your connection to the natural world.

In conclusion, our connection with nature has immense benefits for our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Simple acts like walking slowly, going shoeless, enjoying meals or books outdoors, and even hugging trees can nurture this connection. These practices ground us, rekindle our primal bonds with the Earth, and provide opportunities for mindfulness and renewal. Amid the fast-paced modern world, moments in nature offer a reminder of our interconnectedness with the environment. An occasion to savor the beauty and energy surrounding us, ultimately enriching our lives in beneficial ways.

My final thoughts are:

Inner peace can still be found in the outdoors. I find it there every morning when I hang my laundry. Learn to ignore other peoples’ noise and you will find inner peace in the quiet places of your mind.

Read these for more information.

How To Find Your Inner Peace.

The Restorative Value Of Mindfulness.

Thank you for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it.

10 Ways To Get More Abundance From Your Senior Years

Gram’s Wisdom 54

No matter where you look, you will see the signs of a society obsessed with youth culture. People who are on magazine covers, TV shows, and run social media. There are countless advertisements about regaining your youthful exuberance or keeping your skin looking young. My Gram was interested in all of that because she was always interested in people. How they behaved and why.

I don’t think Gram ever gave much thought to being old. She had told me when she was 85 that officially she was old. But I never saw any evidence of it for the next dozen years or so. At the drop of a hat, she would get on a plane and visit far-flung family. We went to concerts and plays. Gram set the bar very high. No one got to tell her that she couldn’t do what she knew was possible.

Still, for many, entering your older years can make you feel a little down – but only if you allow it, though! Take it from Gram, it’s just another age you haven’t been yet. Accept it and enjoy it.

If you are struggling with that, try these ten tips.

Explore new or old hobbies.

With your children grown up, and gone, you may find you have more time to yourself.  Embrace this newfound freedom by exploring hobbies that pique your interest. What a perfect chance to pick up a new and exciting hobby. Consider painting, where you can express yourself through vibrant colors and brushstrokes. Alternatively, you might try gardening, immersing yourself in the tranquility of nature while cultivating a beautiful and thriving space.  

Choose something you have always wanted to do and go for it! If you enjoy engaging yourself in stories, why not try your hand at writing? Maybe begin a book club to connect with like-minded individuals who share your love for literature. What about that old hobby you didn't have the time to do? Maybe it’s time to see if it’s still a good fit for you. The possibilities are endless, and this is your chance to begin a fulfilling journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Plot or follow a new path.

C. S. Lewis said, “You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream.” Now that your children are grown, you may find that you yearn for exciting experiences and new adventures. You might have reached more than a few goals to get to this point, but that doesn't mean you can't set more. Consider traveling to far-off destinations. Whether it’s an exotic beach destination, a bustling city, or a quiet mountain retreat, now is the time to create new lasting memories. Setting goals in your later years will help you stay active, motivated, and satisfied.

If you prefer a more introspective approach, you can embark on a journey of self-discovery through meditation or mindfulness practices. Taking the time to connect with your inner self can bring a sense of peace, clarity, and renewed purpose to your life. The possibilities are endless, and this chapter of your life presents many opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment.

Keep moving as long as you can.

Regular exercise is important for anyone. But it is especially important as you age. Make sure you get enough cardio in but don't be afraid to lift heavy things. Weightlifting will help you retain the muscle mass you typically lose as you age. In addition to cardiovascular exercise and weightlifting, incorporating flexibility and balance training into your routine is crucial as you age. Engaging in activities such as yoga or tai chi can improve your flexibility, enhance your posture, and help prevent injuries caused by falls.

Give some thought to exploring low-impact exercises like swimming or cycling, which can be gentle on your joints while still providing a great workout. It’s also important to prioritize rest and recovery days to allow your body to heal and recharge. Remember, staying active and maintaining a well-rounded fitness regimen will not only benefit your physical health but also contribute to your overall well-being. You can promote a healthier, more energetic you, as you make the journey of aging gracefully.

Let go of other people’s expectations.

There are those people who will say that after a particular milestone age, you should sit in your rocking chair and be quiet. No! Do not allow anyone to tell you what you can and can't do because of your age. Embrace your independence and live life on your terms, defying societal norms and expectations. Age should never limit your choices or diminish your sense of self.

Explore new fashion trends, experiment with different styles, and express your unique personality through your clothing choices. Wear what makes you feel good. Listen to the music you like, and dance to the beat of your favorite tunes; immerse yourself in the music that connects you to cherished memories. Participate in activities that excite you and make you feel alive.

Your age should never be a barrier to experiencing the richness and fulfillment that life has to offer. Remember, you have earned the right to live authentically and embrace every moment with a sense of adventure and purpose. You aren’t obliged to accept society’s expectations of what it means to age. So, let your spirit soar, and inspire others to challenge the limitations imposed by ageist stereotypes.

Spend time with a variety of ages.

Interacting with people from all different age groups will help you keep things in perspective and provide opportunities for personal growth. Spending time with your grandchildren will reignite your childlike wonder while reminding you of the importance of playfulness and curiosity throughout life.

Similarly, spending time with your teenage family offers insights into the evolving youth culture as well as the challenges and joys of youth. Permitting you to be happy with your maturity and appreciate the wisdom and experiences you have gained over the years.  

Additionally, spending time with older relatives allows you to witness the wisdom and resilience that comes with age. Let it inspire you to embrace the present moment and look forward to the adventures that await you in the future.

Embracing these diverse interactions fosters empathy, understanding, and an appreciation for the different stages of life. Enriching your journey and helping you cultivate a balanced and appreciative outlook.

Keep your health in mind.

Your health should always be one of your priorities. Prioritizing your health includes more than just physical exercise. A balanced and nutritious diet plays a vital role in fueling your body with essential nutrients and promoting overall well-being. Incorporating a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins into your meals can provide the necessary vitamins and minerals for optimal health.

Also, don't overlook the importance of mental well-being. Engage in activities that reduce stress, such as meditation or mindfulness exercises. Consider seeking professional help or counseling if you experience any mental health challenges.

Alongside physical and mental health, remember to schedule regular dental check-ups to maintain oral hygiene and prevent dental issues.

Lastly, don't forget to prioritize your eye health by scheduling regular eye exams to detect and address any vision-related concerns.

By taking a proactive approach to your healthy habits, you can nurture a fulfilling life while minimizing the risk of potential health complications. Regular appointments with your family doctor will help keep you on track.

“Getting old isn’t for sissies.”

— MAE WEST

Stay active in your community.

Physical stimulation is important, but so is mental and social stimulation. When you stay active in your local community, it engenders feelings of connection. Be it volunteering or joining a service club, you will feel more satisfied and happier in general.

• Explore local museums and art galleries, taking in the beauty of culture and history.

• Join a local club or organization that aligns with your interests. Whether it's a book club, a sports team, a hobby group, or a community theater.

• Attend community events, such as festivals, fairs, or fundraisers, to soak up local culture and meet new people.

• Volunteer for a cause or organization that resonates with you, offering your time and skills to make a positive impact in your community.

• Interact with friends and family by organizing regular social gatherings, game nights, or outings.

• Take part in community projects or initiatives, such as neighborhood clean-ups, community gardens, or mentorship programs, contributing to the betterment of your local area.

These are just suggestions, and you can adapt them to your personal interests and community opportunities. Participating in mental, social, and physical activities will help you lead a more fulfilling and connected life.

Be a lifelong learner.

It is never too late to learn something new. Embracing a lifelong learning mindset opens endless possibilities, regardless of age. With the advent of the internet, knowledge and resources are at your fingertips. Making it easier than ever to learn something new. Online platforms offer a wealth of courses, tutorials, and educational materials on a wide range of subjects. Allowing you to explore your interests and expand your skills from the comfort of your own home.

If you prefer a more interactive and communal learning experience, look for local classes or workshops in your area. Engaging with fellow learners and instructors in person can foster collaboration, discussions, and the opportunity to build connections with like-minded individuals. Remember, it's never too late to begin a learning journey, and the joy of acquiring new knowledge and skills knows no age limit. Stay curious, embrace the learning resources available to you, and enjoy the process of continual growth and self-improvement.

Remain positive.

Keeping a positive outlook as you are aging can have huge effects on your overall well-being and quality of life. By consciously choosing to think and act positively, you can cultivate a mindset that promotes happiness and contentment. It's important to acknowledge that staying positive is a continuous effort and may require practice. If you try to think and act positively, you will likely feel it. If you struggle with positivity, try a mindfulness technique like meditation or journaling.

Engaging in regular meditation sessions allows you to calm the mind, observe your thoughts without judgment, and cultivate a sense of positivity. Similarly, journaling provides a safe space to explore your emotions, reflect on positive experiences, and set intentions for a brighter future. Remember, developing a positive mindset is a journey that requires patience. Surround yourself with supportive and uplifting individuals and celebrate even the most minor victories. By embracing positivity, you can approach the aging process with resilience and a greater sense of joy.

Practice deep gratitude.

Understanding the distinction between deeply felt personal gratitude and everyday common or transactional thankfulness is essential for cultivating a richer appreciation of life. Every day, you experience moments of common thankfulness. Such as expressing gratitude for a delicious meal, a kind gesture from a friend, or a beautiful sunset. These instances of gratitude arise from acknowledging the positive aspects of your life and can contribute to a universal sense of well-being.

However, deeply felt personal gratitude goes beyond these everyday moments and observes a sense of appreciation that emanates from the core of our being. It involves acknowledging the blessings, lessons, and growth that come from life's challenges, hardships, and even losses. Deeply felt personal gratitude requires reflection, introspection, and an awareness of the interconnectedness of your experiences and the impact they have on your life. It allows you to find meaning or find silver linings in difficult situations and fosters a sense of contentment and resilience. By developing this deeper level of gratitude, you can cultivate a transformative perspective on life, enhancing your overall well-being and relationships with others.

My final thoughts are.

If we are lucky, we get to grow old. How well we live as we age depends so much on our attitude. Life can feel much shorter if you spend it complaining about your age. As for me, I wake every morning, thankful to be alive, looking forward to another day of opportunities. Just as my Gram did, for more than a hundred years.

For more information, read these posts.

10 Simple Ways To Age Gracefully.

How Exercise Increases Energy And Vitality.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

Kindness And Its Importance In Your Life

Gram’s wisdom 48: Kindness is important.

“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention.”

Kahil Gibran

Some people are saying that kindness appears to be missing in our society. That far too many people are more connected to their devices than to what happens around them. That they are self-absorbed, inconsiderate, and uncaring.

I don’t believe that at all. Instead, I think the connected people who do care have found their methods of showing it. They are the ones who share pretty pictures, funny cartoons, uplifting messages, and stories of hope and redemption.

Sure, lots of people will scroll by those posts. But not everyone. There will be those few who stop and read, maybe even twice, because it resonates with them. Maybe it makes their heart a little lighter, or their day a bit brighter. And if that isn’t kindness, then I don’t know what is.

My Gram was a firm believer in kindness and compassion. Her view was that no matter how much or little you have, you will always meet people less fortunate than yourself, and they are deserving of your kindness, acceptance, and forbearance. She would tell me that kindness had real value. That it can be easy to throw money at people, but less so to spend your time or your energy.

She often remarked to me that unkindness was the cause of dissension between people. I guess there is a reason why parents tell children “If you can’t say something nice to someone, don’t say anything”.

According to Dr. John and Julie Gottman – founders of the Gottman Institute, which studies relationships – every successful relationship is, in the end, supported by kindness. What’s more, they claim the most important time you should be kind is during some type of conflict, such as when you are arguing with a partner.

Gram told me that a loving, long-lasting relationship with your partner means being able to examine him/her with tolerance, for things to appreciate rather than criticize.

So, why kindness?

As children and even as adults, you look for kindness from your family and friends. You give and receive kindness every day in some form.

Kindness moves people. You remember past kindnesses done to and by you. Kindness nourishes, restores, fortifies, and elevates how you feel about your life.

Studies have shown that kindness though, is not only a good moral value but it is good for you. It is beneficial to your brain, your body, and your emotions in many ways. It is a foundation for a meaningful life.

Here are 7 reasons why kindness is so important.

1. Kindness makes you happier. And everyone seems to be looking for more happiness these days.  When you perform random acts of kindness, you stimulate areas of pleasure, social connection, and hope in your brain.

2. It creates a positive loop in your mind. Kindness makes you happier and happiness makes you kinder. When you are happy, you are more likely to feel giving and kind towards others and act on it.

3. Kindness creates social connections and bonding. As humans, a social connection of some type enhances your physical performance and boosts mental clarity. Being kind allows you to feel part of a group.

4. Kindness helps with the healing process. When healthcare is delivered with kindness it can hasten the healing process, thereby shortening hospital stays. Kinder care leads to an array of outcomes including reduced pain, lowered blood pressure, and less anxiety for the patient and caregivers.

5. Kindness can decrease or help prevent diseases. Kindness lowers our stress and anxiety levels and decreases pain because of the endorphins and feel-good hormones released at the time of the act.

6. Positive emotions from kindness boost your vagus nerve which regulates blood sugar. This helps the body prevent diabetes, strokes, and heart disease.

7. Selflessness has been shown to promote the reward area of your brain. Studies suggest that you get high on being kind.

No matter how small an act of kindness might be, it is good for you. Without kindness, life would often be lonely, filled with anger and despair, disease, and stress. But when kindness is both given and received with no expectations in return, life becomes calmer and happier with more meaningful connections to others.

Being kind is a sign of weakness.

People often believe that being kind means you are a pushover and can be easily taken advantage of.

But is this true?

On the contrary, kindness does not equal weakness. It takes a great amount of courage to be kind to someone who thinks differently than you or is slowing you down in some way.

People who perform regular acts of kindness are often more successful, more resilient, have more friends, are more social, and are well-liked than those who don’t.

How kindness helps you be a better person.

• Kindness increases confidence. Studies show that kindness increases your feelings of self-worth.

• People remember you when you are kind and willing to help others. It sets you apart from others.

• Kindness creates a ripple effect. One person being kind in some way spreads to others, who in turn spread kindness. Kindness is contagious, fostering more kindness.

• Kindness evokes a sense of trust. Studies show that even before establishing your credibility, people who are kind and project warmth are more effective than those who are not.

• Kindness bridges gaps between people. It can reach across barriers in language, gender, locality, religion, and anything else that causes people to misunderstand one another.

Luis Benitez, who has climbed the Seven Summits 32 times, says that kindness and compassion are essential to overcoming terrible physical and mental challenges. He often encounters horrible challenges during his climbs.

As an example, say you see someone limping on the day you need to reach the next camp. Instead of cursing their weakness and ignoring the pain, they are in, you stop to bandage their feet so they can keep up with you.

This is more than just being kind at the moment. If a member of the party lost their ability to hike, your entire group may have to return to the start. Stopping to help a teammate ensures you achieve your own goals.

Reclaim a sense of belonging through kindness.

It’s common to want to feel a sense of belonging. When you belong, you are acknowledged as a member of the group. A sense of belonging is a normal human need as much as the need for food and shelter is. When you feel like you belong, you feel your life has worth and you handle your emotions better.

Sometimes though, you can lose that sense of belonging.

This can be for a variety of reasons. Traumatic events could influence a person’s feelings of self-worth and self-compassion. Trauma often leaves survivors feeling out of step with the rest of the world. They feel lonely, overwhelmed, anxious, confused, and emotional pain creates a sense that they are different.

Your relationship quality is affected by your mental, physical, and emotional health. As researcher and author Brené Brown explains, “A deep sense of love and belonging is a complex need of all men, women, and children. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong.”

Recover a sense of belonging.

One way to help recover a sense of belonging is through kindness. Kindness releases the feel-good hormone. It makes you feel happier and improves your mood. Here are some ways to regain your sense of belonging.

• Contribute to the lives of others by offering to listen and be a sounding board for them. This not only brings them joy but will give you both a feeling of connectedness.

• Have compassion for others who are different from you. Spend time helping others who are less fortunate, and have different likes or needs than you.

• Let go of judgments that build walls. Instead, focus on people by connecting with them. No one is perfect. Everyone has struggles.

• Be kind with your words and way of thinking. Use words that offer strength, compassion, acceptance, and caring.

• Begin building healthy relationships with others using kindness. Healthy relationships are important to a sense of well-being. Help trauma survivors realize they are safe and secure by showing them kindness.

• Turn to your partner for support during tough times.

• Give and receive compliments with kindness.

• Begin doing things that bring you joy. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Give your time at a soup kitchen.

• Join groups or clubs that are interesting to you. Participate in discussions and be kind to those who are members.

• Kindness to both yourself and others is one of the easiest ways to begin gaining your sense of belonging back.

My final thoughts.

Kindness is the secret to a successful and satisfying life. Always be kind because your actions have a greater impact than you realize not only on you but others as well.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Please share it with those you love.

For more information, read these posts.

Why Is Kindness Important?

Little Kindnesses Create Huge Impacts.

Key Components For Life Balance And Harmony

Gram’s Wisdom 45 Balance is an action.

Gram told me life is about balance and most of us don’t manage it very well. From our personal lives to the office, through the natural world, and back home to our communities. The bad news is that it’s hard to be all and do all. The good news is no one expects it from you!

Gram felt that balance in life is not an act, but an action. Like many other parts of life, it’s a journey, not a destination. Her theory was that we should take action to move all the different parts of life forward, understanding that not all parts move at the same rate. Relax and play too long, and you could go hungry. Work too much and you put your health at risk.

Navigating the challenges of life can be an experience filled with many ups and downs. While seeking knowledge of specific topics is essential for success, Gram thought the nature of learning life skills should go wider than just learning how to find a job or pay the bills, important as they are. She believed you must also act on what you learn.

With that in mind, here are 10 actions you can take to add more balance to life.

Learning balance.

Balance is a learned quality that is about constantly improving. The value of seeking balance in all areas of life is that it can be the thin line between flying and falling. Imagine your quality of life if you dedicated 100% of your time to work and had no time for relaxation. The outcome may be a successful career, or it could be so much stress and exhaustion you have no life at all. In all aspects of life, balance can restore your energy while preserving your future.

One way this balance can be achieved is by practicing mindfulness. When considering your diet, are you being mindful of what you eat? When looking at your time spent on recreational activities, are you spending more time having fun rather than feeling you are neglecting your responsibilities?

Considering where you are putting your energy will help you to see where you need to make needed changes.

Mental balance.

The importance of protecting your mental health has never been a higher priority—and it has never been a more difficult task. The National Institute on Mental Health recommends getting regular exercise, prioritizing sleep, practicing gratitude, and staying connected to friends and family to help with mental health. If you have trouble sleeping or concentrating, have appetite changes that lead to weight change, or lose interest in activities that you usually enjoy, it’s time to seek help from a professional.

Emotional balance.

According to the Mental Health Foundation, emotional health is a “positive state of well-being which enables an individual to…meet the demands of everyday life.” It begins with identifying your emotions and holding them up to a mirror to determine their validity.

Emotions may at times tell you negative things, but by taking a step back and scrutinizing your thoughts you can realize that emotions are not facts—they are reactions. Balancing emotional health is about recognizing your strengths, realizing, and accepting your weaknesses, then moving forward with a positive perception.

Persistence and endurance.

Life is full of loveliness, but it is also filled with its fair share of challenges. Being able to endure tough circumstances is an essential part of survival. When a runner loses focus and grows tired during a race, she falls behind and eventually gives up.

Cultivating persistence involves staying focused on your end goal, and not allowing the distractions of life to blow you off course. One primary way to build your persistence and endurance is to completely immerse yourself in your goals. Educate yourself, stay motivated, and make your dream real. This will allow you to maintain your focus.

Create a spiritual practice of your own.

When your life is jam-packed with to-do lists and errands, it’s easy to neglect spiritual health. Cultivate your spiritual life by creating space in your schedule to sit quietly—in harmony with nature, if possible—and reflect on the deeper meaning of your life.

What is your purpose? Are your habits and activities working in harmony with that purpose? If not, consider how you might rearrange your priorities to create spiritual synergy in your life.

Physical balance.

Author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, “Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live in.” Your body is a menagerie of working parts, and balancing your physical health can be overwhelming, so consider adopting these tips.

• Strive for a balanced circadian rhythm by going to bed and waking at roughly the same time each day.

• Take two 15- to 30-minute brisk walks every day.

• Strive to eat mostly foods that contain only one ingredient. A tomato is a tomato. An apple is an apple. Broccoli is broccoli. Removing processed foods from your diet will help your body remain balanced.

Relationship balance.

It seems you spend most of your life figuring out how to balance relationships. Siblings, parents, friends, and ultimately a spouse. The key to balancing relationships lies in your ability to nurture both yourself and your partner.

When you enter a committed relationship, it’s as if there are suddenly three lives to look out for: yours, your partners, and the life of the relationship you’re forming.

 These tips can help maintain a healthy relationship balance:

1. Listen: You have two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as often as you speak.

2. Communicate: When you do speak, positive and encouraging words build up your partner and your relationship.

3. Be Their Biggest Fan: Celebrate all your partner’s wins and let them know you think they are amazing.

4. Make Time: Pursue your interests and extend the same courtesy to your partner. Then create hobbies you can pursue together.

5. Become comfortable with your feelings and learn how to articulate them in a way that is respected. By doing so, you will get your needs met without feeling as if you must compromise.

Make your friends count.

Demanding careers plus the ability to work from home can cause our social lives to be put on the back burner.

If it’s been ages since you connected with friends, consider these tips to bring some fire back to your social life.

• Schedule It: If you’re someone who lives and dies by their calendar, then use that to your advantage and carve out regular time for social activities.

• Take a Device Break: Business emails and calls have a way of stealing from social time, so take advantage of the “Silence Notifications” feature and focus on the people who are right in front of you.

• Learn To Say No: If professional obligations are getting in the way of personal events that are important to you, evaluate your assignments and see if there are things that can be delegated. Don’t be afraid to share your situation with your boss—good bosses want happy, balanced employees who aren’t burned out by their jobs.

Community balance.

The world’s troubles are relentlessly beamed into your consciousness, and in most instances, you are powerless to help. However, you have immense power when you help an elderly shopper reach a product high on the shelf. Show empathy and kindness by checking on a sick neighbor to see if she needs anything from the store. Small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness in your community are a way to bring a healthy balance to the communities where you live—not to mention the positivity it contributes to your mental well-being.

Take ownership and responsibility.

One of the principal markings of maturity is the ability to take ownership of your actions. Every action comes with a set consequence, whether positive or negative. When making a choice that negatively affects yourself or others, do you have the maturity to own up to your mistakes and seek reconciliation?

When it comes to managing priorities, are you emphasizing taking care of your responsibilities first? Ownership and responsibility work hand in hand when it comes to growth. In addition, taking ownership of yourself demonstrates self-esteem and respect.

You will not succumb to unhealthy changes to appease others. You will know what you want out of life and accept nothing less. This encourages others to show you the same amount of respect.

My final thought.

Modern life, for most people, is frenetic. We are exposed to a numbing number of opportunities that come with a steep price. The cost for this is chronic stress and often a general dissatisfaction with our joyless lives.

A life of balance isn’t unreachable. Choose one small thing from the list above that you want to change and do it consistently. Watch and be amazed at the balance and harmony you can bring to your life.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

For more information, check out these posts.

5 Reasons You’re Struggling To Find Balance in Life.

Finding Harmony Within The Stillness.

Simple Love And Care Advice For Couples

Grams Wisdom 6

When I was 40 something I embarked on a new relationship. Only to find Gram had still more wisdom to share with me. Just a few months in she wanted to know was I happy and was I taking good care of him?

I admit to the desire to remind her that he was also a grown up and I hardly felt that at this stage of my life his care should be my responsibility. But I kept that thought to myself.

It seemed Gram wanted to remind me that in any couple’s relationship, what matters most is each other. Children grow and go, careers ebb and flow. If you can manage a loving caring relationship into old age, then fortune will have smiled on you.

Take a vacation

Actually, Gram said “don’t stay home and paint the house.” Whether you are a couple or a family with children, everyone benefits from a change of scenery. You and your spouse or partner need to have some fun time together to rest and recharge or soon your relationship becomes tiresome and stale.

Consider tackling that large project over several weekends instead of during your vacation. Otherwise you might come home to a newly painted house after work every day, but as you roll into the driveway you won’t appreciate it. Instead all you will see are the difficulties you encountered, how tired you were at the end of each day, and the unkind things you probably said to one another.

Play to your strengths at home

Next, she said a peaceful happy home revolves around getting things done but not if one person is doing the lion’s share of the household chores.

I was told I should play to my strengths, choose and do the chores that I wanted to do. Have him choose the things he wanted to do. Share some tasks and negotiate any leftover chores. Then finally, pay someone to do what neither of us wanted to do.

“The closest thing to being cared for is to care for someone else.”

— Carson McCullers

What I learned on my own

Beware of Taking Each Other for Granted

Whenever a couple begins to live together or get married, everything is so new and exciting that you think it will go on forever. Unfortunately, day-to-day stresses and busy schedules can soon mean the excitement wears off and you feel like you are living in a well-worn rut. It’s like you’ve become roommates, not lovers, and have begun to take each other for granted.

It doesn’t have to be that way. The important thing to know is what bad habits are passion killers and avoid them. In fact, you could introduce some everyday habits that would prevent you from taking each other for granted. Here are some suggestions:

Learn Each Other’s Love Languages

The marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman has written a series of books titled, The 5 Love Languages. The five are:

* Acts of service

* Gifts

* Physical touch

* Praise

* Quality time

In the books, he states that everyone has a primary and secondary love language. Knowing your partner’s love language can help them feel appreciated and not taken for granted.

You might think you are being loving if you buy gifts or do acts of service, for example, but if your partner values quality time and physical touch, you will clearly not be speaking the same language.

Ironically, in many cases, one of the partners in a relationship will often become a workaholic because their love language is acts of service, but this will mean little to a partner who wants quality time with their significant other. The promise to "work less someday" often comes too little, too late, because the spouse waiting for quality time feels so alone and so taken for granted.

The workaholic partner can feel taken for granted as well: "I’m working so hard every day, and all my spouse ever does is complain I’m not home with them holding hands. Don’t they know I’m doing all this for THEM?"

Follow Through on Your Love Language Research

You can each take the free quiz online to determine your primary and secondary love languages. If they don’t mesh at all, it will be important to discuss what you can each do to ensure that the other person doesn’t feel taken for granted. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/

Here are a few suggestions you can work into your daily schedule as positive habits that show you care, but without taking up too much time or money.

Acts of service

This means doing the dishes, taking out the trash, feeding and walking the dogs, helping more with the children, taking the car to the car-wash, doing the cooking or the laundry.

Praise

It’s easy to give words of praise:

* I’m so proud of you

* Well done

* That was amazing

* You’re such a great cook

* You’re a great dad, helping out with the kids so much

* And so, on

The praise should be sincere and, if possible, specific to something the other person has done recently. This shows you are noticing them and not taking them for granted.

Gifts

Little things can mean a lot:

* A single red rose

* Their favorite candy

* A piece of clothing you know they had their eye on at the mall

* A nice meal out

* A note tucked where it will be found later

And anything else that you know they would like.

Quality time

This can be tough if you have kids, but it is worth it to make the effort:

* Thirty minutes of chatting and hand-holding once the kids are asleep

* A regular date night

* A shared activity you both enjoy, such as a walk or a bike ride at your local beauty spot

* Walk the dog(s) together

Physical touch

In many cases, this will mean sex, but it can mean a lot of other things as well:

* Cuddling

* Holding hands

* Hugging

* Kissing

* Trading massages

* Showering or bathing together

And anything else you both enjoy.

Find your love languages and give these ideas a try - then see how it helps bring romance into your life rather than your having taken each other for granted.

I hope you enjoyed this small mix of my Gram’s wisdom with some of my own. If you found it valuable, please share it. I appreciate you taking your time to read this.