9 Best Life Lessons I Learned From Gram

Gram’s Wisdom 56

There is something exceptional about grandmothers. They seem to have a knack for making you feel special. Grandmothers always know how to make their grandchildren smile. They love to laugh and have a good time with them. Grandmothers are also the most loving people, always ready to offer a hug or a listening ear.

Grandmothers have often faced many challenges in their lives, but they have always endured. They are strong and resilient, and they never give up. Despite their strength, grandmothers are also gentle and kind. They have a wealth of experience and wisdom to share, and their words of wisdom can stay with us for a lifetime. 

My Gram’s words have been rattling around in my brain for 60 years. They are the same words I use with my grandson. They are the same words I have been sharing in these Gram’s wisdom posts. She once told me, “How we do things changes, the reasons for doing them never change.”

Here are some life lessons that anyone’s grandmother might have passed on:

Be neat and orderly.

Keeping your home clean, neat, and orderly is timeless advice. A devotion to cleanliness isn’t just about surprise guests popping in; there are many benefits to an organized household. These benefits include less stress, more motivation, and productivity.

• A cluttered and messy home can be a source of stress. A clean and organized home, on the other hand, can provide a sense of calm and order. This can help to reduce stress levels and improve your overall mood.

• When your home is clean and organized, you're more likely to feel motivated to get things done. A cluttered space can be distracting and make it difficult to focus. A clean and organized space, on the other hand, can help you to stay on task and be more productive.

Are you looking for ways to improve your mental and physical health, reduce stress, and boost your productivity? Then keeping your home clean, tidy, and organized is a great place to start. Just begin by decluttering one area at a time and make it your habit of putting things away after you use them. (Remember: trying is more important than perfection.)

Be punctual.

Show others you respect their time by arriving on time. Besides being polite, it allows you to pull yourself together and be ready for the meeting, appointment, or visit.

• When you arrive on time, you show the other person that you value their time and you are reliable. It’s also a demonstration that you are prepared and organized and you can manage your time effectively.

• You build trust with others: When you are always on time, people know they can count on you. This can be especially important in professional settings, where trust is essential.

Being punctual is a skill that takes practice, but it is worth it. Set a reminder to leave ten minutes earlier than you normally would. Arriving on time, or even a little bit early, is a simple way to make a good impression. You also set yourself up for success in both your personal and professional life.

Treat others with consideration.

Be flexible in your interactions with people. Different people might require a slightly different approach. They will appreciate the effort, and you will sharpen your people skills.

• Different people have different communication styles and needs. For example, some people prefer to be direct and to the point, while others prefer a more gentle and indirect approach. It's important to adapt your communication style to the individual you're interacting with.

• Being flexible shows you're interested in the other person. When you take time to understand how they communicate and what they need, it shows you're paying attention and that you care about what they have to say. This can build trust and rapport, which leads to more productive and enjoyable interactions.

Connect with people on a personal level and tailor your message to their needs. This can help you to build strong relationships, be more persuasive, and be successful in your career.

Love yourself.

Everyone has their struggles, but never forget to love yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat a loved one. Avoid negative self-talk and don’t attempt to be someone else. You are your person, and that person is special!

• Self-love is essential for mental and physical health. When you love yourself, you are more likely to take care of your physical and mental health. You are also more likely to make healthy choices, such as eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.

• Self-love is the foundation of healthy relationships. When you love yourself, you are more likely to have healthy relationships with others. You are less likely to be codependent or to attract toxic people into your life.

If happiness and success are what you seek, it is important to love yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Skip the negative self-talk and focus on your strengths and your accomplishments.

Rough times come – but they pass.

Nothing lasts forever. Neither good times nor bad times. So, acknowledge that you will face rough times, but they will not last. Take time to lick your wounds, but eventually, you will need to pick yourself up and move forward. 

• Everyone experiences rough times at some point. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated when you are going through a rough time. Don't try to ignore your emotions; that just makes them worse. Instead, allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, and then let it go.

If you are going through a rough time, remember you are not alone. Don't let it consume you. Just continue taking things one day at a time. Eventually, the tough times will pass, and you will be stronger.

Practice good manners. 

Using good manners doesn’t cost anything and brings harmony to your relationships. Remember to say “Please” and “Thank You” and, in general, be considerate of those around you.

1| Good manners make you more likable.

People are more likely to be drawn to and to like you if you practice good manners. This can be helpful in both your personal and professional life.

2| Good manners are a show of respect:

When you use good manners, you show respect for the other person. This can help to build positive relationships and to create a more harmonious environment.

3| Be considerate of others' feelings and needs.

This means things like holding the door open for someone. Allowing someone to go ahead of you in line. And not talking over someone when they are speaking.

4| Be mindful of your surroundings.

This means things like not talking loudly in public, not littering, and not blocking walkways.

5| Apologize when you make a mistake:

Everyone makes mistakes, but it is important to apologize when you do. This shows that you are aware of your mistake and that you are willing to make amends.

Stand by your convictions.

While you should strive to be pleasant and courteous, it is also important that you stand up for your convictions. Be assertive, not aggressive.

• If someone tries to push you around or make you feel bad about yourself, it is important to set boundaries and stand up for yourself. You can do this by calmly and respectfully explaining that you do not appreciate their behavior. You can also walk away from the situation if necessary.

Offer others the respect that you also deserve. It is important to remember that you are worthy of respect, regardless of what anyone else says. You shouldn’t let anyone make you feel like you are less worthy than they are.

Don’t fear failure. 

Lessons are found in your perceived failures. If you succeed at everything, you risk learning nothing. So go out and fail at something, learn the lesson, and become a better person. You will be more apt to reach your goals, too. 

• When you fail, you can learn from your mistakes. You can identify what went wrong and what you can do differently next time. This can help you to improve your skills and to become more successful.

• Failure can also make you more resilient. When you fail, you learn that you can overcome challenges. This can give you the confidence to try new things and to take risks.

• If you never fail, you will never learn and grow. You will never reach your full potential. So don't be afraid to fail. View it as a window for opportunity.

Failure is not something to be afraid of. It is a natural part of life, and it can be a valuable growth tool.

Cherish your family and friends.

Make family and friends a priority. A strong social circle gives you a firm foundation for success. In bad times and good, these are the people you will turn to. Make sure to foster powerful relationships, by ‘giving’ as much as you ‘take’.

• Family and friends can help you to achieve your goals. They can offer you advice, guidance, and motivation. They can also help you to stay accountable and to avoid giving up on your dreams.

• Family and friends make life more enjoyable. They are the people who you can share your joys and sorrows with. They are the people who you can laugh with and cry with. They make life more meaningful and more fun.

• Call a close relative. Have dinner with them and show them that you cherish that relationship.

If you want to be happy, healthy, and successful, make family and friends a priority. Make time for them and listen to them. Be generous to them and forgive them. And be there for them, and they will be there for you when you need them the most.

My final thoughts are.

The above bits of wisdom are simple maxims as true today as they ever were. They are meant to help us behave well and to get along with others. I have only one thing to add and that is be kind.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

For more information, check out these posts.

9 Pieces Of Life Advice From Your Grandma That You Should Actually Listen To.

Little Kindnesses Create Big Impacts.

10 Ways To Get More Abundance From Your Senior Years

Gram’s Wisdom 54

No matter where you look, you will see the signs of a society obsessed with youth culture. People who are on magazine covers, TV shows, and run social media. There are countless advertisements about regaining your youthful exuberance or keeping your skin looking young. My Gram was interested in all of that because she was always interested in people. How they behaved and why.

I don’t think Gram ever gave much thought to being old. She had told me when she was 85 that officially she was old. But I never saw any evidence of it for the next dozen years or so. At the drop of a hat, she would get on a plane and visit far-flung family. We went to concerts and plays. Gram set the bar very high. No one got to tell her that she couldn’t do what she knew was possible.

Still, for many, entering your older years can make you feel a little down – but only if you allow it, though! Take it from Gram, it’s just another age you haven’t been yet. Accept it and enjoy it.

If you are struggling with that, try these ten tips.

Explore new or old hobbies.

With your children grown up, and gone, you may find you have more time to yourself.  Embrace this newfound freedom by exploring hobbies that pique your interest. What a perfect chance to pick up a new and exciting hobby. Consider painting, where you can express yourself through vibrant colors and brushstrokes. Alternatively, you might try gardening, immersing yourself in the tranquility of nature while cultivating a beautiful and thriving space.  

Choose something you have always wanted to do and go for it! If you enjoy engaging yourself in stories, why not try your hand at writing? Maybe begin a book club to connect with like-minded individuals who share your love for literature. What about that old hobby you didn't have the time to do? Maybe it’s time to see if it’s still a good fit for you. The possibilities are endless, and this is your chance to begin a fulfilling journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

Plot or follow a new path.

C. S. Lewis said, “You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream.” Now that your children are grown, you may find that you yearn for exciting experiences and new adventures. You might have reached more than a few goals to get to this point, but that doesn't mean you can't set more. Consider traveling to far-off destinations. Whether it’s an exotic beach destination, a bustling city, or a quiet mountain retreat, now is the time to create new lasting memories. Setting goals in your later years will help you stay active, motivated, and satisfied.

If you prefer a more introspective approach, you can embark on a journey of self-discovery through meditation or mindfulness practices. Taking the time to connect with your inner self can bring a sense of peace, clarity, and renewed purpose to your life. The possibilities are endless, and this chapter of your life presents many opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment.

Keep moving as long as you can.

Regular exercise is important for anyone. But it is especially important as you age. Make sure you get enough cardio in but don't be afraid to lift heavy things. Weightlifting will help you retain the muscle mass you typically lose as you age. In addition to cardiovascular exercise and weightlifting, incorporating flexibility and balance training into your routine is crucial as you age. Engaging in activities such as yoga or tai chi can improve your flexibility, enhance your posture, and help prevent injuries caused by falls.

Give some thought to exploring low-impact exercises like swimming or cycling, which can be gentle on your joints while still providing a great workout. It’s also important to prioritize rest and recovery days to allow your body to heal and recharge. Remember, staying active and maintaining a well-rounded fitness regimen will not only benefit your physical health but also contribute to your overall well-being. You can promote a healthier, more energetic you, as you make the journey of aging gracefully.

Let go of other people’s expectations.

There are those people who will say that after a particular milestone age, you should sit in your rocking chair and be quiet. No! Do not allow anyone to tell you what you can and can't do because of your age. Embrace your independence and live life on your terms, defying societal norms and expectations. Age should never limit your choices or diminish your sense of self.

Explore new fashion trends, experiment with different styles, and express your unique personality through your clothing choices. Wear what makes you feel good. Listen to the music you like, and dance to the beat of your favorite tunes; immerse yourself in the music that connects you to cherished memories. Participate in activities that excite you and make you feel alive.

Your age should never be a barrier to experiencing the richness and fulfillment that life has to offer. Remember, you have earned the right to live authentically and embrace every moment with a sense of adventure and purpose. You aren’t obliged to accept society’s expectations of what it means to age. So, let your spirit soar, and inspire others to challenge the limitations imposed by ageist stereotypes.

Spend time with a variety of ages.

Interacting with people from all different age groups will help you keep things in perspective and provide opportunities for personal growth. Spending time with your grandchildren will reignite your childlike wonder while reminding you of the importance of playfulness and curiosity throughout life.

Similarly, spending time with your teenage family offers insights into the evolving youth culture as well as the challenges and joys of youth. Permitting you to be happy with your maturity and appreciate the wisdom and experiences you have gained over the years.  

Additionally, spending time with older relatives allows you to witness the wisdom and resilience that comes with age. Let it inspire you to embrace the present moment and look forward to the adventures that await you in the future.

Embracing these diverse interactions fosters empathy, understanding, and an appreciation for the different stages of life. Enriching your journey and helping you cultivate a balanced and appreciative outlook.

Keep your health in mind.

Your health should always be one of your priorities. Prioritizing your health includes more than just physical exercise. A balanced and nutritious diet plays a vital role in fueling your body with essential nutrients and promoting overall well-being. Incorporating a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins into your meals can provide the necessary vitamins and minerals for optimal health.

Also, don't overlook the importance of mental well-being. Engage in activities that reduce stress, such as meditation or mindfulness exercises. Consider seeking professional help or counseling if you experience any mental health challenges.

Alongside physical and mental health, remember to schedule regular dental check-ups to maintain oral hygiene and prevent dental issues.

Lastly, don't forget to prioritize your eye health by scheduling regular eye exams to detect and address any vision-related concerns.

By taking a proactive approach to your healthy habits, you can nurture a fulfilling life while minimizing the risk of potential health complications. Regular appointments with your family doctor will help keep you on track.

“Getting old isn’t for sissies.”

— MAE WEST

Stay active in your community.

Physical stimulation is important, but so is mental and social stimulation. When you stay active in your local community, it engenders feelings of connection. Be it volunteering or joining a service club, you will feel more satisfied and happier in general.

• Explore local museums and art galleries, taking in the beauty of culture and history.

• Join a local club or organization that aligns with your interests. Whether it's a book club, a sports team, a hobby group, or a community theater.

• Attend community events, such as festivals, fairs, or fundraisers, to soak up local culture and meet new people.

• Volunteer for a cause or organization that resonates with you, offering your time and skills to make a positive impact in your community.

• Interact with friends and family by organizing regular social gatherings, game nights, or outings.

• Take part in community projects or initiatives, such as neighborhood clean-ups, community gardens, or mentorship programs, contributing to the betterment of your local area.

These are just suggestions, and you can adapt them to your personal interests and community opportunities. Participating in mental, social, and physical activities will help you lead a more fulfilling and connected life.

Be a lifelong learner.

It is never too late to learn something new. Embracing a lifelong learning mindset opens endless possibilities, regardless of age. With the advent of the internet, knowledge and resources are at your fingertips. Making it easier than ever to learn something new. Online platforms offer a wealth of courses, tutorials, and educational materials on a wide range of subjects. Allowing you to explore your interests and expand your skills from the comfort of your own home.

If you prefer a more interactive and communal learning experience, look for local classes or workshops in your area. Engaging with fellow learners and instructors in person can foster collaboration, discussions, and the opportunity to build connections with like-minded individuals. Remember, it's never too late to begin a learning journey, and the joy of acquiring new knowledge and skills knows no age limit. Stay curious, embrace the learning resources available to you, and enjoy the process of continual growth and self-improvement.

Remain positive.

Keeping a positive outlook as you are aging can have huge effects on your overall well-being and quality of life. By consciously choosing to think and act positively, you can cultivate a mindset that promotes happiness and contentment. It's important to acknowledge that staying positive is a continuous effort and may require practice. If you try to think and act positively, you will likely feel it. If you struggle with positivity, try a mindfulness technique like meditation or journaling.

Engaging in regular meditation sessions allows you to calm the mind, observe your thoughts without judgment, and cultivate a sense of positivity. Similarly, journaling provides a safe space to explore your emotions, reflect on positive experiences, and set intentions for a brighter future. Remember, developing a positive mindset is a journey that requires patience. Surround yourself with supportive and uplifting individuals and celebrate even the most minor victories. By embracing positivity, you can approach the aging process with resilience and a greater sense of joy.

Practice deep gratitude.

Understanding the distinction between deeply felt personal gratitude and everyday common or transactional thankfulness is essential for cultivating a richer appreciation of life. Every day, you experience moments of common thankfulness. Such as expressing gratitude for a delicious meal, a kind gesture from a friend, or a beautiful sunset. These instances of gratitude arise from acknowledging the positive aspects of your life and can contribute to a universal sense of well-being.

However, deeply felt personal gratitude goes beyond these everyday moments and observes a sense of appreciation that emanates from the core of our being. It involves acknowledging the blessings, lessons, and growth that come from life's challenges, hardships, and even losses. Deeply felt personal gratitude requires reflection, introspection, and an awareness of the interconnectedness of your experiences and the impact they have on your life. It allows you to find meaning or find silver linings in difficult situations and fosters a sense of contentment and resilience. By developing this deeper level of gratitude, you can cultivate a transformative perspective on life, enhancing your overall well-being and relationships with others.

My final thoughts are.

If we are lucky, we get to grow old. How well we live as we age depends so much on our attitude. Life can feel much shorter if you spend it complaining about your age. As for me, I wake every morning, thankful to be alive, looking forward to another day of opportunities. Just as my Gram did, for more than a hundred years.

For more information, read these posts.

10 Simple Ways To Age Gracefully.

How Exercise Increases Energy And Vitality.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

Being More Supportive To Your Friends

Daily life is full of struggles, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of only thinking about yourself. Consequently, it can be difficult to know how to support your friends. And frankly, there is no one way for you to support all your friends. However, empathizing with and supporting a friend in their time of need is crucial to a healthy relationship. The support you should show to your friends will vary widely on their personality and their unique situation. 

Having good friends is one of the most important things in life. After all, friends are the people who will be there for you when you need them, and who will help you celebrate your successes. But being a good friend isn’t always easy. It can be difficult to be objective about a friend’s problems and it takes work to maintain a strong friendship. But supporting them through tough times strengthens your friendship and creates a more meaningful connection.

Here are a few ways to be a better and more supportive friend.

Make time for them.

As humans grow and change, they tend to have less and less time for their friends. This is why, one of the most important things you can do for your friends is to make time for them. Be there for them when they need you, and simply be present When you make time for your friends, you are showing them that you care about them and that you want to support them.

It can be difficult to make time for your friends when you have a lot going on in your own life. This doesn’t mean you must clear your calendar. Instead, you can invite friends along to certain activities or cancel that one thing you don’t need to do so you and a friend can grab a coffee after work.

Your friends are there for you when you need them, so you must support them in return. If you are feeling overwhelmed, reach out to your friends. Let them know what is happening in your life and how they can help you. They will appreciate knowing that you trust them enough to confide in them.

Be a better listener.

You’ve heard it time and time again: if you want to be a more supportive friend, one of the best things you can do is to be a better listener. It can be easy to want to offer advice or jump in with your opinion when your friends are sharing something. But listening is truly the best way to support anyone who may be in your life. Hearing what your friend is saying - and not just waiting for your turn to speak - can make them feel heard and understood.

Humans need to let go of their emotions through communication. Sometimes, the ability to share what’s going on without being judged can be an enormous relief. And sometimes, your listening is enough to make the person who is venting feel supported in their endeavors. It also shows that you value their thoughts and experiences.

If you’re unsure how to be a better listener, here are a few things you can try:

1. Make eye contact and focus on the person who is talking.

2. Put away distractions like your phone or the TV.

3. Try to resist the urge to interrupt or interject.

4. Ask questions to show you’re interested and engaged in the conversation.

5. Repeat what your friend has said to show you’ve understood them.

6. Avoid advising unless your friend asks for it.

7. Just be present and let your friend know you support them.

Cheer your friends up or cheer them on.

Whatever your friends may be pursuing, if they confide in you that they need your help, now is the time for you to step up. You can cheer them up or cheer them on. Sometimes your friends feel disappointed with the lack of forward momentum in a goal. You could cheer them up by reminding them of how far they have come.

Maybe they are tired and don’t want to go to the gym today. Here is your chance to take a practical approach to cheer them on. You could encourage them by offering to go with them, so they don’t miss a session or help remind them of the goal they made. And afterward, you may be surprised at how far a simple “good job” can go!

So, try to be upbeat around your friends. This may help them to see the good in their situation and feel more hopeful.

Celebrate your friends’ achievements.

Your friends will have good days and bad days. As important as it is to be there for them when they're feeling down, it's just as important to celebrate their achievements with them. And if they conquer a big goal, you should try and offer to celebrate with them! After all, true friends are ecstatic when their friends mark big steps in life!

Here are four ways you can show your support for your friends' accomplishments.

• Firstly, take an interest in what they're doing. If they're excited about something, ask them about it. Showing a genuine interest in their lives will make them feel appreciated and valued.

• Secondly, congratulate them graciously. A heartfelt "well done" can mean a lot, especially when it's coming from a friend.

• Thirdly, offer your help. If they've achieved something big, they might need a hand getting everything sorted out. Let them know you're there for them.

• Finally, just enjoy their company. Sometimes, the best way to show you care is to simply spend time with them. Whether you're celebrating their success or simply enjoying a cup of coffee together, quality time is always appreciated.

Offer your shoulder in tough times.

A | There's nothing like having a best friend - someone you can share your deepest secrets with, laugh with until you cry, and rely on during tough times. If you want to be the friend they can count on, here are a few things you can do:

B | Make them laugh: Sometimes, the best medicine is laughter. If your friend is feeling down, make them laugh with your silly jokes or funny stories.

C | Accept them for who they are: Your friend is going to have good days and bad days. Accept them for who they are and love them no matter what.

D | Help them out if you are able: If your friend is dealing with a practical problem, do what you can to help them out. For example, if they are having car trouble, see if you can help them fix it, give them a ride, or run errands for them.

E | Offer advice only if asked: If your friend comes to you for advice, try to be helpful. Be honest with them, in any friendship, honesty is key. Offer them your honest opinion and help them brainstorm solutions to their problem.

F | Help them find help: If your friends are struggling, encourage them to get help. This could be from a professional, such as a therapist, or a support group. Sometimes just talking to someone who understands can make a huge difference.

G | If you want to be a good friend, one of the best things you can do is be a shoulder to cry on. This means being there for your friend when they need to vent and offering a comforting ear and shoulder to cry on. It can be difficult to see a friend in pain, but being there for them can make all the difference. Just be sure to respect your friend’s wishes and you’ll be giving them the best support possible.

By following these tips, you can be the friend they can always count on- no matter what.

My final thoughts are.

Being more supportive of your friends is a great way to show them you care. It can make a big difference in their lives, and it can also make yours more fulfilling. So next time your friend is struggling, offer to lend an ear and just be there for them. Let them know how much you appreciate them and show them how much they mean to you.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and thank you for reading it.

For more information, check out these posts.

8 Ways To Really Help A Friend In Need.

Five Ways To Improve Your Listening Skills.

Top 5 Ways To Get More Lessons From Life

Gram’s wisdom 50: Lessons from other sources.

Do you sometimes feel like you’re not getting enough out of life? I believe we all have those moments. My Gram once told me that you can never know it all because there is always more to learn and it’s difficult to do without help. Now my Gram was the lifelong learner you may have heard about. She understood one of the easier ways to learn life lessons comes from the experiences of others.

The many lessons Gram taught me over many years were not all her own experiences. She got real-life examples from her friends and from the people she met in her job as a waitress. And Gram was an avid reader. She loved books about people who tell the story of their mistakes and how they overcame them to become successful.

Gram told me we can save ourselves pain and time if we are willing to learn from others. She said we should watch how they handle difficult situations and decide whether we would like to emulate their behavior. What I learned from my Gram is that whatever the source, taking the time to learn from other’s mistakes and successes is always worthwhile.    

Use these five tips to get more lessons from life and you will find yourself happier, more accomplished, and more knowledgeable than ever before.

Be adaptable.

If you want to get more out of life there are few things more important than being adaptable, you must be able to go with the flow. The ability to adapt to change is what allows us to grow in an ever-changing world. It’s what lets us leave our comfort zone and take advantage of new opportunities and overcome challenges.

Try things you’ve never done before if you get the chance, even if it doesn’t necessarily fit into your plan for that day or that week. Goodwin.edu posits that flexible people are also more inquisitive. They aren’t afraid to ask “stupid questions” and might get some great learning experiences out of them. Being flexible doesn’t mean being a pushover. It doesn’t mean the sacrifice of your principles or the compromise of your values. It means being open to new ideas and willing to change your plans if necessary.

The most successful people are usually the most adaptable. They’re the ones who are looking for new prospects and willing to take risks. They’re the ones who are willing to change their minds when they’re proven wrong. So, for more life lessons, be adaptable, be open to new ideas, be willing to change your plans, and always look for new opportunities.

Begin a journal.

Journaling is a terrific way to find out more about what your subconscious is feeling and thinking. This activity gives you a method to track your thoughts and feelings over time. To look back and see how your attitudes and outlooks have changed. As you read about your life’s events and reactions, it can be a helpful way to work through difficult situations. Writing things down is a great way to make sure you don’t forget important lessons you learn and can also be a fun way to document happy memories. experiences you have, and people you meet throughout your life.

Beginning a journal is easy – you only need a notebook and a pen. Decide how often you want to write in your journal and set aside some time daily or weekly. The point is to just get your thoughts down on paper, so don’t worry if your journal entries aren’t perfect. Over time, you’ll find that journaling feels more natural. And, when you look back on yourjournal,l what you will find is a treasure trove of valuable life lessons.

Ask questions.

It’s important, if you want to grow and learn, that you ask questions and listen to the answers. You can learn a lot by asking people the right questions. Globalcognition.org sites that research has shown that even asking and answering your questions helps you learn, understand, and remember. They also found that conceptual questions, such as giving reasons why something happened, help you learn better than detailed questions, such as facts and figures. But often people are afraid to ask questions because they don’t want to seem uninformed. However, everyone must begin somewhere and there’s nothing wrong with being curious and asking questions.

Here are four quick tips on how to ask questions.

• Don’t be afraid to speak up.

If you’re unsure about something, it’s better to ask a question than remain silent and risk misunderstanding.

• Be specific.

Vague questions can be difficult to answer and may not give you the information you’re looking for.

• Be prepared to listen to the answer.

If you’re asking someone for advice or information, be ready to hear what they have to say. They may not tell you what you want to hear, but it’s important to be open-minded.

• Be grateful.

If someone takes the time to answer your question, be sure to thank them. A little appreciation goes a long way.

Asking questions is a great way to learn more about the world and the people around you. So don’t be afraid to speak up and ask away!

Read, read, and read more.

To get more life lessons, you should read as much as possible. There is so much information out there for those who are willing to look for it. Books can provide insights into different cultures and how to deal with certain situations. Reading takes you out of your limited view to find new perspectives on the larger world.

If you are interested in people rather than events, you can read biographies. These will show you how other people deal with life’s occurrences that you could not possibly experience for yourself and the lessons they learned from them. Even a work of fiction can teach you a lot about the world and human nature.

Seek out books and articles about topics that interest you or try some unfamiliar ones that might surprise you. It’s important to choose wisely what you read. Just like everything else in life, you should be selective and not accept everything at face value. Read with an open mind, but consider what you’re taking in. Think about whether the author is presenting a balanced view of the subject.

There are a great many books to choose from, so where do you begin? If you are unsure about what you’re interested in, or you are looking for recommendations, try asking your family or friends. Once you have a few titles, look them up in your local library or online. See if any pique your imagination and look like something you’d enjoy reading.

Reading can be a fantastic way to learn new things, or just while away the time. So, make sure to take advantage of this by picking up a book when you have some free time.

Never give up.

In life, we frequently face obstacles or challenges that seem far too large for us to handle. It’s easy to feel like throwing in the towel, but it’s important to remember that giving up is never the right answer. Give up too often, and it becomes a default habit.

So, if you feel like you’re struggling, maybe it’s time to approach things from a new perspective. You may not see immediate results but persevere, and you will ultimately reach your goals. Regardless of how difficult things appear, remember that if you persist, you can find a way to overcome your challenges.

Each failure as well as each success is a learning experience that can help you grow. Keep trying, and you’ll soon have the life you want.

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For more information, read these posts.

10 Important Life Lessons We Are Often Taught Too Late.

How Good Are Your Adaptability Skills?

My final thoughts.

While lessons don’t necessarily sound like a good time, there are ways of learning that can be interesting, exciting, rewarding, and fun. So, begin asking questions, pick up a good book, or organize that vacation that you’ve always wanted to take. Begin making the most out of your life and learning about all it has to offer.

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What Is The Essence Of Contentment?

Gram’s Wisdom 41

I’m sure you are more than familiar with the phrase or idea that you should be happy with what you have. All the same, when you don't have much, it’s easy to question such a notion. For a lot of people, contentment is elusive, a willow the-wisp. It's impossible to hold onto and there's always some piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit in their life.

My Gram told me in a perfect world we wouldn’t worry or fret about anything, we would be content, and then she’d go on to remind me that it is not a perfect world. I never saw Gram flustered because she felt inadequate or that she didn’t get enough done in a day. She once told me that busyness without purpose is just an unnecessary activity. She believed we should give ourselves the space to focus on what we love. As in many other things, Gram’s contentment was fueled by gratitude for her health, her strength, and her blessings.

In a perfect world, we would all be on the path toward wellness and contentment. So, this is an opportunity to set yourself on the path to contentment, and acceptance is key. The concept of contentment through acceptance comes from the idea that someone can feel satisfied with life, feel at peace with who they are, and be comfortable with where they are in life if they simply accept it.

Through self-appreciation and self-acceptance of the present moment, (mindfulness), you can achieve a level of life-contentment that has so far eluded you. You can achieve a level of tranquility and inner peace that you can move forward with.

A life minus contentment.

For many people, life is a competition. They constantly strive for more because they are comparing themselves with others. They are frantic to increase what they have and claw ahead of the pack. Whether it's their wealth, job title, home, or car.

There's always something to upgrade or add to. This sort of feeling will always impede your way of contentment, because how can you identify your good fortune if you are so focused on getting more than what you already have?

These types of people struggle to recognize true milestones and successes because it never feels like it's enough. The urge to push on overpowers any feeling of contentment. It's a burden, and it can be overwhelming.

For people who shape their lives around chasing accomplishments and goals, it can be challenging to appreciate those accomplishments. Even if they realize the vision they created of their ideal life and lifestyle, even if they check every box on their list, it might never be enough.

Learn to love yourself.

Contentment is an essential part of the human experience, even though it eludes many. It might not provide you with immediate, noticeable benefits, yet the qualities contentment brings can change your daily life and help you improve your relationships.

The first step to achieving contentment is acceptance. It's the acceptance of who you are right now. It's the acceptance of who you were in the past, even if you didn't like yourself. Contentment is the acceptance of your situation. It's acceptance of your position, your family, and every part of your life. The second step to contentment is not criticizing yourself, and the third is never trying to change others. When you finally accept these, what comes next?

Contentment can bring you peace of mind. Through acceptance of your life, you can enjoy a renewed positivity and peace of mind that will permit you to enjoy your days more. It doesn't mean you can't continue working toward improving yourself or your future.

Contentment can improve your feeling of happiness. It's so closely tied to feelings of happiness, that accepting your situation can boost your happiness levels. When you spend time feeling more grateful for what you have and what you've done, you can stop obsessing over doing more, which is going to improve your overall quality of life.

Contentment can lead to healthier relationships. As you accept your current situation and embrace contentment, you become a more positive person to be around. You also find it easier to accept others despite their shortcomings or flaws. It's easier to build healthier relationships when you accept your situation and find contentment.

Acceptance doesn't mean you let go of goals or give up on your dreams. It's normal to want to improve yourself and, you can do so while still feeling content. With a positive outlook and a degree of acceptance, you can lead a life of contentment.

Health and well-being.

Much of the unhealthiness that people experience is due to discontent. The mindless eating of junk food, while providing comfort and stress relief, can build up many health issues. Add this to a reluctance to exercise because of poor self-image, tiredness, or that same ill health, and what you have is a dangerous cocktail.

Depression is on the rise, and stress is out of control. How can anyone find contentment in this economy? It appears there's always something lurking there to bring you down.

From an endless stream of more bad news to outrage on social media and a growing ever-connectedness… it is tough out there. It all contributes to where you are now. One of the best ways to alleviate the stresses of the modern world, and stimulate contentment, is mindfulness.

Contentment is a state of being, and while it's linked to happiness, it doesn't mean you will always be happy. There are many ways you can build your contentment levels, but one of the biggest drivers of it is simplicity. Focus on the little things that give you simple joys. More to the point, focus on the present, which is exactly what mindfulness focuses on.

Mindfulness fuels peace and contentment.

First, there's that peace or inner calm. It's the state of being agitation-free. Perhaps a more accurate definition would be when the ocean of life is calm. You can better cope with what waves come when you begin from a place of peace.

When you mindfully meditate, it stimulates the area of your brain in control of emotions and thoughts It also engages the part of your brain that controls your worry levels. So, by engaging these parts of your brain and encouraging a sense of calm, mindfulness helps promote contentment.

I have always described happiness as a choice. It's something within you that you choose every day. While contentment might not be quite the same as happiness, there are a lot of choices involved that contribute to your sense of contentment.

While happiness is associated with pleasant emotions, contentment runs deeper. Often, happiness is a byproduct of contentment. Contentment is about being satisfied with your life, your situation, yourself, and the present moment. Wherever you mind yourself, you find a way to make the most of it. That is exactly what mindfulness promotes.

5 Characteristics Of Contentment PDF

Practicing mindfulness.

So, let's put you on the path to contentment by practicing mindfulness. With that in mind, I want to provide you with several choices on how to practice mindfulness.

Compassionate communication.

The most challenging time to practice mindfulness is when everything is topsy-turvy, and you are in defense mode. Often, those moments are when you are trying to communicate difficult ideas or emotions to someone. So, practice communicating with compassion.

◦          When you feel tense, and emotions are running high, pause and take a breath before you respond. Take a moment to reconnect with your compassionate self before you engage any further.

◦          Listen with an open heart and an open mind. You don't have to accept verbal abuse, but you can actively listen with compassion.

Practice gratitude.

There are a variety of ways you can practice gratitude. It isn't a complicated process, but what it does require is mindful commitment. You must commit to carving out a few minutes every day to practice. It's easy – just close your eyes and think of a few things you're truly grateful for.

Or you can keep a journal and make a list of three to five things you appreciate. It doesn't have to be complicated – it could be a thunderstorm to break the humidity, the strong coffee you had with breakfast, your body for getting you through the day, your job providing for your basic needs, your partner, children, or pet. Once you begin, you will soon see just how much you truly have.

Be an outside observer

When the ocean of life is calm, it's nice. But, what about when the waves are riding high? Practice observing them as an unemotional observer. When you deal with big emotions, you associate certain stories with them, and it becomes difficult to detach them from each other. It's the quickest way to drown in all that negativity.

You can use meditation to observe these emotions, label them, and separate them from what's going on.

Mindfulness meditation focuses on replacing negative thoughts with positive ones to break the negative mindset habit. It's something you can practice every day and in everyday situations. It increases your sense of gratitude, which further fuels your sense of contentment.

My final thoughts.

I believe that gratitude is the most important fuel we add to our lives. If you begin with gratitude, you will feel a noticeable amount of contentment. Add any of the above-mentioned changes to your day, and you will have life-changing contentment.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it.

For more information, read the posts below.

Gratitude, Mindfulness, And Positivity, 3 Valuable Mindsets

The Simple Practice That Can Bring You Deep Contentment

Make Room For Harmony In Your Life

Harmony, Isn’t About Doing All The Things

What do you imagine when you hear the word HARMONY? I looked it up in my Webster’s Dictionary. One of the definitions describes it as a “pleasing or congruent arrangement of parts.”

So many people believe harmony is all peace and life falling into place just the way it’s supposed to do. Except when it doesn’t, and then you fight an overwhelming tide rather than go with the flow of the universe.

Think again about that definition. Face it. What pleases isn’t always congruent with the parts and what is congruent with the parts isn’t always pleasing.

So, what small changes can you implement that will create a more harmonious life?

 Slow down

Are you trying to do too much? Can you become a billionaire, marry the man of the year, have a happy family, be a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, and raise champion Corgis? Will doing all the things add harmony rather than chaos to your life? Probably not. But I bet you already knew that.

Sure, there’s a lot you can do, but there’s a lot you can’t do, too. Whatever you do there is a cost. This is real life we’re talking about. However, you can have a lot, and it can be harmonious.

Take a quick look at why you can’t do it all

1.  There’s a limited amount of available time.

You can’t have everything; you can’t do everything necessary to have everything. Everything you do requires time.

● Getting and maintaining the perfect abs takes time.

● Becoming a great chess player takes time.

● Building a billion-dollar company takes time.

● Creating and maintaining a successful relationship takes time.

● Being an expert figure skater takes time.

● Writing a great book takes time.

● Creating harmony takes time and is best achieved in the present moment. What do you want the most?

2.  Some things don’t play well together.

You can’t become the world’s greatest pick-up artist and be married. You can’t be the strongest woman in the world and be healthy while yo-yo dieting. You can’t live like a playboy and maximize your spiritual development.

● Certain activities just get in the way of other activities.

3. Emphasis on one thing leads to sacrificing others.

Time spent on one area of your life leaves less time for other areas of your life. There are always sacrifices to be made. Balance in life is, well, a balancing act.

Harmony, what it takes to have a lot

1. Choose your priorities.

Since there isn’t time to do everything, it becomes necessary to prioritize your time and actions. Accept that things will change when you do this. Consider the most important things you want to have.

2.Determine what you’re willing to let go of.

Prioritizing doesn’t just mean choosing what’s important. It also means deciding what you’re not going to spend time on anymore. That could be the negative inner talk that no longer serves you.

● Maybe writing that novel isn’t that important to you. Or maybe beating yourself up isn’t the best use of your time. If that’s the case, make it a point to avoid those activities.

3. Assign your time accordingly.

Once you know your priorities, use your time accordingly. If you’re ever confused about what to do, remind yourself of your priorities. Ask yourself how you can best use your time according to your priorities.

The idea that you can do everything you want isn’t true. It’s something motivational speakers and your mother told you to make you feel better. You can’t do it all. Especially if you want a harmonious life that brings you happiness rather than a life trying to do all the things that leave you feeling overwhelmed.

But you can still manage to do and have a lot. Having a lot means prioritizing how you spend your time. Wasting time is the ultimate way to limit yourself. Spreading yourself thin between too many things is also detrimental.

Always remember–you can have a lot! What do you want? Keep these ideas in mind and make it happen!

My final thought

I have lived a harmonious life filled with peace, love, laughter, joy, and happiness for forty years. Not every day but more days than not. I believe the secret is to choose what is most important to you and add any congruent parts that show up, as you go along.

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Can I Make My Relationship Work?

YOU CAN’T. Not on your own. Sure, you can improve some things that are more YOU centric on your own. You can even alter your attitude and manner and learn to just accept what makes you feel less than happy. Many people do. But this is most unsatisfactory and difficult to manage for the rest of your life and I wouldn’t recommend it.

Only as a couple can make your relationship work. It must be important, and you must genuinely want it to work. Did I mention it’s hard work? Nonetheless, the rewards of a good relationship are enormous and well worth the effort you will make.

7 Keys To help your relationship work:

Have you committed?

This could be the most important thing you do. Your commitment must be to each other. To your future together. To solving any difficulties together. You should be devoted to what best serves you as a couple. At times, a decision may of necessity rest more heavily on one of you or the other. Remember to be sensitive and never overbearing when making that decision.

How do you communicate?

The way you speak to your husband tells him as much as the words you use, as does your body language. Some conversations will take you out of your comfort zone. So, speak gently to one another. You should be honest but never hurtful. Apologize frequently, especially if you are right. Don’t make statements that give the impression that you harbor a back door out of your relationship. These and other nasty statements can never be taken back and are best never said. Communication is a connection, so let it always be positive.

What are your boundaries?

Every couple needs boundaries. You are, after all, individuals, and you likely had a life before you met. Your boundaries should be defined upfront to save trouble and misunderstanding next week or next year. This doesn’t mean you have the right to know everywhere your spouse goes or all that he does. It does require that you don’t do hurtful things to each other.

Give and expect respect.

Show your spouse you respect him. Actively listen when he is speaking and sharing his opinions. You’re not obligated to see things his way, but you should be interested in his view and be aware of the value that sharing has. Your husband should similarly show his respect and regard for you. To be respectful is to be aware of your partner’s feelings.

Supporting your partner is a must.

Yes, I said must. If you want a flourishing relationship you must be your spouse’s biggest supporter. You should always encourage him and stand up for him. Your supportive husband will want what is best for you and he will never hold you back from reaching your goals and desires. You need to be a pillar your partner can lean on.

Nothing without trust.

Can you be trusted? Can he? Nothing hurts two people more than betrayal. All healthy relationships need mutual trust, and couples don’t automatically trust right away. Trust takes time and attention to develop. But with love, communication, confidence, and support your trust in one another can grow and deepen.

Flexibility for the long haul.

Things change. Life changes. As individuals, we grow at different rates and at different times. Events in life can cause one or the other partner to leap ahead while the other hunkers down for safety. This is normal but it shouldn’t become permanent. Over the passing years, you live together, flexibility is your friend. If you develop an unbending mindset you run the risk of unhappiness settling into your relationship. The continuing flexibility and growth of your relationship allow you both to find new things to be excited about singly and together.

My final thought

I believe that if you begin your relationship using the 7 keys above you have a good chance of making things work. Toss in some humor and forgiveness and at the very least you should have a happy home life while you work at it. Nothing smooths the way better than to be able to laugh at yourselves and forgive one another.

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This is the 4th and the last post in a series of responses to past most liked posts. I have placed the link below to the earlier post.

Simple Love and Care Advice for Couples

Mindfulness Relationship Exercises

Gram’s Wisdom 18: Relationships, mindfulness, and couples

My Gram and Grandpa frequently did little things for one another. He always took care of her car. She just had to get in and drive. But what sent Gram over the moon was the fresh oyster stew he would cook for her twice or three times a year. We lived in a small landlocked Indiana town, so he got big brownie points for that. She in turn would shovel snow occasionally from the house to the garage when he had to go to work in the middle of the night.

In the last several weeks, my honey, Michael, and I have been, like so many others, doing home improvement projects. As I wrote in a previous post Gram was not a big advocate of spending vacation time for that. Still, with four dogs and the current situation, vacation seems far off at this time.

None the less a couple of the projects were done with me, specifically in mind. To make me happy and relieve my worry. My Gram would have said this was mindfully done with an open heart.

I will place links at the bottom of this post to both of those previous posts.

 Pay attention to your relationship

It’s no lie that a good relationship is hard work. People are busy with life and simply neglect to nurture their union. Usually, it turns into a conflict for the time between family, work, and self-care. With all that happens in a day or even a week, what’s left-over for maintaining a relationship? Exactly that, leftovers.

Unintentionally, we often overlook giving our partner what is necessary for a healthy relationship. Mindfulness for a couple is used mainly in couples counseling sessions by professionals. But why wait until there’s so much agitation between you that couch time in a therapists’ office becomes necessary? There are plenty of practices you could initiate now!

Let’s take a look at the mindfulness concept. In a nutshell, the practice of mindfulness is being present in the moment. Becoming aware of the situation at hand and accepting, without judgment, what’s happening. It might sound complicated but it’s rather simple, it just takes practice.

How does mindfulness benefit a relationship?

Mindfulness actions for a couple are much the same as for you alone. Only with your partner. No, not necessarily breathing exercises (although a deep breath where you think before you speak is always a good thing) but there are plenty of other exercises you can do with your mate that will help develop a greater understanding of their emotional state.

Waiting until you are in the middle of a screaming match before trying to meaningfully communicate can be less than effective. But by that point, who is willing to listen, when words go flying and feelings get mutilated? Frequently this is followed by regret and hopefully an apology or (shudder) even the silent treatment; neither of which are truly healthy.

“When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another - and ourselves.”

— Jack Kornfield

So, let’s take a look at some specific mindfulness for couple’s techniques that might be useful:

A daily affirmation

It’s one thing to tell your love that you appreciate something they are doing or have done, but when you give them your undivided attention, look them in the eyes and follow the affirmation with how it makes you feel, it is far more appreciatively received, and it sticks.

To go a step further, your partner would effectively reiterate what you’ve just told them in their own words. For example, “I love it when you rub my back after a long day at work; it makes me feel like you’ve seen that I’m tense and want to help.” Your partner would then follow-up with his interpretation of what you’ve just relayed.

A mindful date night

Sounds simple enough right? But there are rules! Put your devices down if you are enjoying a meal together, look one another in the eyes, and engage in meaningful conversation. Avoid topics that would cause critique or conflict. Open your ears and listen to what your partner is saying without thinking of an immediate response while they are still talking. Then acknowledge that you have sincerely heard what was said.

If you go to a movie or a play, hold hands while sitting, share the same popcorn and soda, and then talk about your opinions on the show afterward. Any event will work and if you don’t share the same ideas on what you should do, alternate venues.

He wants to see a movie and you want to have dinner on the beach. Easy. One thing this week, the other next week. Be excited to spend quality time with one another and fully engage, mindfully, and purposefully. Whatever you do, don’t skip out on your mate and reschedule!

Most importantly, if it’s not “your thing”, don’t disassociate. Make an extra effort to consciously focus on your partner and fully participate in the event. Make new memories. That is what mindfulness is and does.

Memories and mindfulness

Sit down with your loved one and create a list of things that make each of you happy and deliriously in love. Remember when you were dating, and he brought you flowers or when she would nibble on your ears? Write. It. Down.

Use a list or even cut these suggestions out on strips of paper and place them in a jar. Each week grab one out and do it. Suggestions? Hold hands while watching TV. Bring a surprise home after work; a candy bar, a new perfume, a flower you picked from the neighbor’s yard… anything, but make sure it’s sincere.

Write a love note to your partner. Be specific about what it is you love about him/her. Cook and serve a favorite meal. Grocery shop together. These things are simple but can mean the world to your lover and your relationship.

Mindfulness for couples doesn’t mean you must gaze into each other’s eyes and affirm your undying affection. There are endless “exercises” you could include in your daily lives that will create mutual love and adoration. And when you are mindful of your love and adoration guess what happens? You are less likely to explode during the difficult conversations inevitable in any relationship.

Engage mindfully with your partner

Engaging your conscious mind to be more mindfully aware of loving and being loved will move your relationship from a should be/could be/would be existence to a “this is” experience.

You both will subconsciously reflect on how loved you are and that you are in this together, thus creating a stronger bond and much greater respect for your mate. It’s a win-win! Don’t stop with these few suggestions though. Find what works best in your relationship and for your given situation.

You wouldn’t neglect to give yourself food or water, right? Relationships take continuous work and nurturing as well. Mindfulness for a couple is work, yes, but it’s so worth it! Give your partnership the fuel it deserves to grow and succeed!

My final thought

I think this all boils down to attention, awareness, and presence. Our lives get busy and it becomes a catch-all excuse. We shouldn’t allow that most important person in our life to feel as if we no longer see them, hear them, or care enough to spend quality time with them.

Here are the links to the posts I mentioned above.

How Mindfulness Helps You Enjoy the Journey 

Simple Love and Care Advice for Couples

Thank You for reading this post and I hope you will share it with your family and friends.