Being More Supportive To Your Friends

Daily life is full of struggles, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of only thinking about yourself. Consequently, it can be difficult to know how to support your friends. And frankly, there is no one way for you to support all your friends. However, empathizing with and supporting a friend in their time of need is crucial to a healthy relationship. The support you should show to your friends will vary widely on their personality and their unique situation. 

Having good friends is one of the most important things in life. After all, friends are the people who will be there for you when you need them, and who will help you celebrate your successes. But being a good friend isn’t always easy. It can be difficult to be objective about a friend’s problems and it takes work to maintain a strong friendship. But supporting them through tough times strengthens your friendship and creates a more meaningful connection.

Here are a few ways to be a better and more supportive friend.

Make time for them.

As humans grow and change, they tend to have less and less time for their friends. This is why, one of the most important things you can do for your friends is to make time for them. Be there for them when they need you, and simply be present When you make time for your friends, you are showing them that you care about them and that you want to support them.

It can be difficult to make time for your friends when you have a lot going on in your own life. This doesn’t mean you must clear your calendar. Instead, you can invite friends along to certain activities or cancel that one thing you don’t need to do so you and a friend can grab a coffee after work.

Your friends are there for you when you need them, so you must support them in return. If you are feeling overwhelmed, reach out to your friends. Let them know what is happening in your life and how they can help you. They will appreciate knowing that you trust them enough to confide in them.

Be a better listener.

You’ve heard it time and time again: if you want to be a more supportive friend, one of the best things you can do is to be a better listener. It can be easy to want to offer advice or jump in with your opinion when your friends are sharing something. But listening is truly the best way to support anyone who may be in your life. Hearing what your friend is saying - and not just waiting for your turn to speak - can make them feel heard and understood.

Humans need to let go of their emotions through communication. Sometimes, the ability to share what’s going on without being judged can be an enormous relief. And sometimes, your listening is enough to make the person who is venting feel supported in their endeavors. It also shows that you value their thoughts and experiences.

If you’re unsure how to be a better listener, here are a few things you can try:

1. Make eye contact and focus on the person who is talking.

2. Put away distractions like your phone or the TV.

3. Try to resist the urge to interrupt or interject.

4. Ask questions to show you’re interested and engaged in the conversation.

5. Repeat what your friend has said to show you’ve understood them.

6. Avoid advising unless your friend asks for it.

7. Just be present and let your friend know you support them.

Cheer your friends up or cheer them on.

Whatever your friends may be pursuing, if they confide in you that they need your help, now is the time for you to step up. You can cheer them up or cheer them on. Sometimes your friends feel disappointed with the lack of forward momentum in a goal. You could cheer them up by reminding them of how far they have come.

Maybe they are tired and don’t want to go to the gym today. Here is your chance to take a practical approach to cheer them on. You could encourage them by offering to go with them, so they don’t miss a session or help remind them of the goal they made. And afterward, you may be surprised at how far a simple “good job” can go!

So, try to be upbeat around your friends. This may help them to see the good in their situation and feel more hopeful.

Celebrate your friends’ achievements.

Your friends will have good days and bad days. As important as it is to be there for them when they're feeling down, it's just as important to celebrate their achievements with them. And if they conquer a big goal, you should try and offer to celebrate with them! After all, true friends are ecstatic when their friends mark big steps in life!

Here are four ways you can show your support for your friends' accomplishments.

• Firstly, take an interest in what they're doing. If they're excited about something, ask them about it. Showing a genuine interest in their lives will make them feel appreciated and valued.

• Secondly, congratulate them graciously. A heartfelt "well done" can mean a lot, especially when it's coming from a friend.

• Thirdly, offer your help. If they've achieved something big, they might need a hand getting everything sorted out. Let them know you're there for them.

• Finally, just enjoy their company. Sometimes, the best way to show you care is to simply spend time with them. Whether you're celebrating their success or simply enjoying a cup of coffee together, quality time is always appreciated.

Offer your shoulder in tough times.

A | There's nothing like having a best friend - someone you can share your deepest secrets with, laugh with until you cry, and rely on during tough times. If you want to be the friend they can count on, here are a few things you can do:

B | Make them laugh: Sometimes, the best medicine is laughter. If your friend is feeling down, make them laugh with your silly jokes or funny stories.

C | Accept them for who they are: Your friend is going to have good days and bad days. Accept them for who they are and love them no matter what.

D | Help them out if you are able: If your friend is dealing with a practical problem, do what you can to help them out. For example, if they are having car trouble, see if you can help them fix it, give them a ride, or run errands for them.

E | Offer advice only if asked: If your friend comes to you for advice, try to be helpful. Be honest with them, in any friendship, honesty is key. Offer them your honest opinion and help them brainstorm solutions to their problem.

F | Help them find help: If your friends are struggling, encourage them to get help. This could be from a professional, such as a therapist, or a support group. Sometimes just talking to someone who understands can make a huge difference.

G | If you want to be a good friend, one of the best things you can do is be a shoulder to cry on. This means being there for your friend when they need to vent and offering a comforting ear and shoulder to cry on. It can be difficult to see a friend in pain, but being there for them can make all the difference. Just be sure to respect your friend’s wishes and you’ll be giving them the best support possible.

By following these tips, you can be the friend they can always count on- no matter what.

My final thoughts are.

Being more supportive of your friends is a great way to show them you care. It can make a big difference in their lives, and it can also make yours more fulfilling. So next time your friend is struggling, offer to lend an ear and just be there for them. Let them know how much you appreciate them and show them how much they mean to you.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and thank you for reading it.

For more information, check out these posts.

8 Ways To Really Help A Friend In Need.

Five Ways To Improve Your Listening Skills.

Make Time To Follow Your Passions And Interests

Gram’s Wisdom 49 Have interests of your own.

My Gram liked to tell me stories about her life during the depression. A widow at 28 years old with 6 children to feed. She would often tell me how grateful she was for her steady job as a waitress. And even as a child, I understood that meant she was busy and on her feet all day.

Many years later when she would relate other stories of those years, she said one of the best parts of the day was after the smallest children were put to bed. This was, she said, a quiet, settled, time when could sew or do a crossword puzzle. She told me there was always so much to be done on any given day. But we owe it to ourselves to take even 5 minutes to do something enjoyable.

In our society today, it's easy to look at what others do and feel like we're inadequate if we don't devote every waking moment to our career or family. Sadly, while this seems truer for women than for men, men are quickly catching up to being overworked like most women these days.

We're told that we should be constantly hurrying to achieve our goals and that taking time for hobbies and other interests is a luxury that we can ill afford. But honestly, well-rounded people understand that taking time for ourselves is fundamental to our overall well-being.

When we neglect our hobbies and interests, we're not only depriving ourselves of enjoyment, but we’re also missing out on valuable opportunities to unwind and refresh. So, the next time you feel guilty for taking a break to do something you enjoy, remind yourself that you're not being lazy – you're taking care of yourself.

The idea of productivity versus the reality of productivity.

The word "productivity" is often heard today. We are told that we need to be productive to be successful. But what does productivity mean? For some people, being productive means maximizing their time and getting as much done as possible. They believe that if they're not in a constant state of movement they're wasting their time.

Others see productivity as a more relaxed state. They feel that if they're getting things done, the time it takes is unimportant. They may take breaks or allow themselves time to enjoy their hobbies and interests. So, which is the correct way to be productive? There is no right or wrong answer. It truly depends on the individual.

There is no exact one-size-fits-all to productivity. It all depends on what works for you. If you're someone who thrives on challenges and feels motivated by meeting deadlines, then a more traditional approach to productivity may suit you. So, experiment until you find something that works for you and run with it.

But if you prefer a more casual approach, that's okay too. There's no need to compel yourself to be something you're not. The important thing is to use your time in a way that feels best for you and who knows, plenty of people have interests that overlap with their work.

Placing a piece of puzzle into a half finished jigsaw puzzle.

You're not obligated to one passion.

While it’s important to be productive, it’s also important to take time for our hobbies and interests.

It’s okay to have many different interests or passion projects over a lifetime. And, it’s okay to change your interests over time. You shouldn’t feel like you must stick to one interest or one hobby. Instead, you should broaden your interests and try new things.

You should never feel that your interests must be justified to others. Nor do you need to prove your interests are worth your time. Your hobbies and interests are important to you, and that’s what counts. It’s important to do things that you enjoy outside of work or other obligations. 

While you may not want to pursue too many hobbies at once due to financial and time constraints, you don't have to adhere to just one, and you don't have to make a lifetime commitment. It's okay to pursue one interest for a few months or years and then drop it to do something else.

There are many benefits to having more interests.

Every interest or hobby you have offers benefits beyond what most people perceive as valuable. For example, a hobby or interest costs money and does not make money. And for that reason, some people may feel that it's wasteful.

However, if you have the budget for the hobby or the time for the hobby, and that hobby makes you feel good, the benefits it offers to help you build your self-esteem, feel more confident, and learn new things are also important.

It can be easy to feel guilty for spending time with hobbies or other interests, especially if they don’t directly contribute to your work or productivity. However, here are six benefits to hobbies and interests outside of work.

• Hobbies and interests can offer a much-needed break from work and the burn-out it can cause.

• They can help us to relax and recharge, which can make us not only more productive but often more creative when we return to work.

• Pursuing hobbies or other interests can help us to gain new skills and knowledge to our careers.

• Hobbies and interests can assist us to meet new people and form new relationships.

• They can also be a great way to cope with stress, anxiety, or other mental health issues.

• Pursuing hobbies or other interests can also provide a sense of purpose and satisfaction.

In short, there are many benefits to having hobbies or other interests. So next time you’re feeling guilty for spending time on them, remember all the ways they can improve your life.

You don't owe anyone productivity.

One issue that comes up for some people who want to pursue a hobby or an interest that is new to them is that they begin to feel as if they're not productive enough. They question whether they should be mowing the lawn or working on their side hustle rather than going climbing.

But here’s the thing, it’s valuable to remember that you don’t owe anyone productivity all the time. your whole life is not about productivity. Sometimes your life is just about being and doing something you enjoy. There is value in doing things outside of building work relationships, making money, and being consistent.

Redefine productivity in your mind to be anything beneficial for yourself, not just for others, and not just to add dollars to your bank account. Take the time you need to relax and recharge. You don't need to monetize every interest or hobby to make them worthwhile in your eyes or someone else's.

The value of the hobby or interest may be intangible or something you can name. But the primary thing that a hobby or interest needs to be is something you enjoy that fills you with contentment and not something that adds stress to your life.

My final thought.

Clearly, making time for hobbies or interests means you may have to say no to something else and this can make some people feel bad. However, it is vital to remember that everyone is unique and not everyone will feel this way. It’s also important to remember that making time for hobbies or interests can be a loving source of self-care and can help to improve mental health.

For more information, please read this post.

Five Benefits Of Having A Hobby

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You Can Choose To Live A Balanced Life

Life is full of choices but for many of us, moving us from one task to the next with little time to think or relax, we feel they are made for us. We overschedule, overwhelm, and overstress ourselves because we want to be the best, stand out, or maybe just because we don’t know any better.

Our western society puts a lot of focus on staying busy and accomplishing as much as possible to “keep up,” but this often leads to burnout and feeling tired, anxious, stressed, and frustrated. This is because often by living this way, we forget to develop our basic values, priorities, and needs. In other words, our life is out of alignment.

It needn’t be this way. You can choose to live a balanced life. Creating balance will help you feel in control of your life and ready to take on any task or adventure. Without it, you will continue to feel drained and overwhelmed.

Obtaining life balance cultivates a calm, clear-headed feeling and allows you to find a calm, peaceful mindset.

What does life balance mean?

According to the Medical Dictionary, life balance means “A harmonious blend of occupational, familial, social, and leisure pursuits.”

Life balance means that you give even attention to all areas of your life including:

· Work

· Recreation

· Rest

· Self-care

· Family Time

· Personal Time

When you are untrue to yourself, your mind and body feel more worn down and exhausted due to lack of purpose and most likely lack of rest.

When you feel your life is out of balance.

The first objective when defining if your life is out of balance is to evaluate and acknowledge your situation. Most likely you are here reading this because you sense that something is just not quite right in your life. This indicates that you are feeling like something is out of place or not working, and you are ready to search for a new path. Be extremely honest with yourself.

How is your state of mind, how are you feeling on a day-to-day basis, and are there areas of your life that are being neglected? If you answered yes to any of these questions, your life balance needs work. 

Here are indications that you lack balance in your life:

• You are often angry - maybe even experiencing outbursts that are disproportionate to the issue.

• More forgetful - it may feel as though there isn’t room left in your brain to remember big or little things throughout your day.

• Feeling unease or discontent without an obvious reason - may indicate that you know something is unbalanced.

• Difficulty sleeping well – lack of balance can leave it difficult to wind down and feel at ease, affecting how deeply you sleep once you do manage to rest.

• Lethargy - overwhelm and stress can affect how well you recharge, leaving you feeling depleted.

• Increased instances of contracting an illness - your mental health plays a role in your physical well-being and feeling out of balance can affect your physical health.

How to create life balance.

Two segments of your life need to be evaluated to determine where your life is out of balance. These are the internal factors and external factors. Sometimes only one part is affected, but it could also be both or just certain pieces of one area.

Creating internal balance.

Internal balance applies to our mind, our heart, and our health; in other words, the things that we have control over within ourselves. This includes giving our minds the time to rest, challenging our minds if we are being lazy or unmotivated, loving someone or allowing ourselves to be loved, and taking care of our physical being with proper nutrition, exercise, and rest.

Good life balance allows you to get in touch with yourself. Creating balance will make you feel empowered and in control of your life. You have authority over your boundaries and what activities receive your energy.

A proper life balance will help you be physically healthy. When you provide yourself with the proper nutrition and physical exercise, you will be at your best physically and mentally. Exercise boosts chemicals in your brain that will enhance your happiness and confidence.

Creating external balance.

External balance relates to things like work, our social interactions, our family, and if we are making time for fun in our lives - the things that happen around us and directly impact our lives.

One aspect of a good life balance is identifying values and setting goals at work that help you achieve them. When you focus your energy where it truly counts, you increase your productivity. This brings you closer to your goals at a quicker pace and to become more successful in your career.

Creating life balance will help you nurture your interpersonal relationships. Having balance means you take time to be truly present in the lives of the people who mean the most to you. Engaging in and embracing these relationships will help you feel whole.

Creating life balance allows more time for fun. When you make time for the important things, don’t forget the fun. Balance leaves room for laughter and relaxation. Remember to enjoy life.

By avoiding devoting a disproportionate amount of time to work, and social interaction but leaving time to be an introvert, being present for your family but including healthy boundaries, and making time for play, a balanced life can be yours.

Identify what area needs work and get results.

1. Honestly evaluate your life - determine what areas of your life are doing well and which areas might be suffering

2. Plan - outline some new goals to return balance to your life and write them down! Then make a list of tasks to complete to achieve these goals. If you have already tried things in the past, reflect upon what has worked and what has not

3. Look inward - think about situations in your past where you have been successful and where you have failed. Then identify the things you did in the past that helped you with success. Actions? Thoughts?
   Do the same for your failures. Recognizing these help and hindrances will give you thoughts and actions to use and to avoid reaching your new goals.

4. Create backup - find affirmations to say to yourself when the going gets tough, maybe even put them on a post-it and hang them around the house for daily reminders.
   Then find someone to be your support on your new path. This person should be positive yet honest and there to push you forward when you are slacking and celebrate when you are successful.

More ideas to discover balance

• Have fun! Make jokes, be playful, reflect on activities you enjoyed as a kid, and then do them!

• Make time to be alone. Downtime is important to revitalize your mind and body. Try solitary activities like meditation, yoga, or journaling.

• Cultivate your social life. It’s important to find time to be with the people you enjoy, such as family and friends. Spend meaningful time with them and focus on being present during that time.

• Take an electronic break. Disconnecting from electronics can be hard for many, but it’s important to reset yourself. Set aside some time to be present in the world around you.

• Treat yourself. Get a massage, buy a nice coffee, or take yourself on vacation.

• Set goals. This provides direction and meaning and gives you motivation in life.

Get your FREE copy (no e-mail required) of 5 Ways To Create Life Balance.

Final thoughts.

Finding balance in your life will create a sense of joy and motivation that many people in our fast-paced society are lacking. When you focus too much on work and all the to-dos on your list, you inevitably ignore self-care, recreation, family, and all those things that keep you well and thriving. When you create life balance, you will be surprised at how good you will feel both mentally and physically.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

For more information, check out this post.

How To Create A Balanced Life: 9 Ways To Feel Calm And Grounded

Your Mindset On Time And Small Changes

Gram’s Wisdom 40: Small changes make a big difference.

How many of you had parents or other adults ask you, at 7 or 8 years old, what you wanted to be or do when you were grown, then laugh at your answer? I never understood what was funny. Some children just seem to know forever that they want to be a doctor, while others have no idea whatsoever and change their minds daily. The decision about what you want to do with your life is one of the most difficult things you'll go through. Fortunately, at this young age, you have plenty of time to sort this out. You’ve seen the cumulative effect time has on what you learn and the habits you make.

Gram often told me that being an adult doesn't come with a manual, that much of it can be trial and error, and you will make many mistakes along the way. One way to minimize risks is to make small changes as you grow over an extended amount of time, rather than trying to transform your life overnight. By observing, over time, the effect of your actions, you know how well, or not a particular decision is working for you. 

As a human being, you have the power to choose. Whatever you do, it's your choice. Do nothing and that is your choice as well. But how can you tell which choice is right and which is wrong? After all, the possibilities are endless. Don’t rush the decision. Try using these steps to choose your most significant small change for a better life.

Determine your meaningful objectives.

Whatever you want to accomplish, make sure it's meaningful to you. Stop looking at the objectives that others set for themselves. Their goals are not your goals. Why? Because they are not you. Setting an inappropriate objective for the wrong reason will not give you the result you hoped for.

Do you want to be a doctor with your own practice or own a florist shop? Do it because you want to, not because your parents are pressuring you or your friends believe it is the right thing to do.

Consider what would make you happy and add joy to your life. Go beyond the superficial and dive deep into what brings those feelings to you right now. Don't try to change things just for the sake of doing something new, unless new is the thing you desire. If you do that, you'll find it’s not sustainable, and soon you will lose your enthusiasm for it.

Simplify your goals.

Most people have some huge goals, such as owning a dream home, traveling around the world, or making a fortune. While there’s nothing wrong with dreaming big, these things take time and hard work.

Let's say you want to have a home by the sea. Break this goal into small, simple steps. Evaluate your income and expenses, determine how much your dream home would cost, and what’s involved in the process. Also, try to determine what small changes you'll have to make to accomplish your goal. Allow yourself ample time to reach your goal. Time compounds your effort.

Tackle one challenge at a time. Don’t try and do all the things at once.

For instance, you could begin by taking a second job or starting a side hustle. Put some money aside every month. As your side business grows, turn it into a full-time venture. Later, you'll be able to get credit and buy that dream home.

Constancy is key.

Believe it or not, you can bring your ideas to life without changing everything at once. It’s that important first step that can move you in the right direction. Small things, such as building a new habit over time, can go a long way toward your success.

Whatever tiny changes you make, turn them into habits. It's not enough to put money aside for a month or two. A house costs a lot more than that. Instead, save money every month for one year, three years, or five years. Commit to those years and celebrate the milestones as you achieve them.

If you feel like giving up, remember why you started in the first place. Focus on your end goal and remind yourself that everything you do brings you another step closer to the destination. Don't give up - your hard work will pay off. It's just a matter of time.

Small actions lead to big changes.

Taking the first step is always the hardest. It’s not uncommon to see people never do what they have in mind just because they’re too afraid to begin. New experiences come with a dose of fear. Not everyone is willing to let go of their fear and take on a new challenge. Be assured, though, that if you want to succeed, you must embrace the unknown and take risks.

No matter what you're trying to achieve, taking the first step can be terrifying. You might think:

    • What if I fail?

    • How will I make money?

    • What will people think?

    • What if I’m no good?

    • What if it's not the right time to do it?

    • Am I ready for this?

The truth is there is no guarantee that you'll succeed. But you'll never know how well it's going to turn out unless you try. Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering "what if?”

That first step is always the hardest because it requires you to embrace the unknown and face your fears. It's also the most important step - without it, nothing will change.

My final thoughts.

Take a baby step to change your life. Most times, it's the smallest things that have the greatest impact on our lives. Small things take time to accumulate and build. It takes perseverance and dedication. You needn’t have everything figured out from day one. What you need is a goal and the courage to do one little, minuscule thing to get started.

Later, take another step and then another, and so on. Stop waiting for the perfect moment to get started. Stop overanalyzing and just go for it! The best time to begin is now.

For more information on how to establish a new change, read this post.

Small Changes Over Time Equal Big Results

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