How To Become A Likable Person

Gram’s Wisdom 53

Do you know someone whom everyone likes? I did, for many years. It was my Gram. Everybody liked her. Young people, old people, and even small children. They all went away with the feeling that they had just met their new best friend. Some people have this ability to skate through life, beloved by everyone. They find it easy to make friends and rarely ruffle anyone's feathers.

All my life I stood in awe of Gram’s ability to draw people to her magnetically. I am a dyed-in-the-wool introvert, so I always believed it was her exceptionally extroverted personality that made her so likable. She, on the other hand, had always believed that these 4 things were the biggest contributing factors to being liked.  

1. Be kind to others, even when they are not kind to you.

2. Find something to be grateful for every day.

3. Focus on the positive aspects of life.

4. Be a good listener.

Since she has been gone, I have had time to give serious thought to the skills and behaviors she and other especially likable people have in common and expanded her list. I knew she wouldn’t mind. 

If you are interested in learning more about the habits of likable people, continue reading.

They are honest and genuine.

Honesty is a key ingredient in likability. You can't be likable if you are constantly lying, it will catch up to you eventually. People are drawn to those who are truthful and trustworthy. When you are honest, you build trust with others, which makes them more likely to like you. 

There are many benefits to being honest. For one, it can help you build stronger relationships with others. When you are honest with your friends, family, and colleagues, they can trust you and rely on you. This can lead to deeper and more meaningful relationships.

Likable people are also genuinely themselves. They don't act like anyone else; they are happy with who they are. When you are authentic, you attract people who appreciate you for who you are. You also make it easier for people to connect with you on a deeper level.

Being authentic can be difficult, especially in a world where we are constantly bombarded with messages about what we should look like, act like, and think like. However, it is important to remember that there is no one right way to be. The most important thing is to be true to yourself.

If you want to be a likable person, it is important to be authentic. Be yourself, and don't be afraid to show your true colors. People will appreciate that about you.

They give freely.

You don't have to give away everything you own to be likable, but being willing to give without receiving anything in return is a key trait of a likable person. People are drawn to those who are kind and giving. When you are willing to give of yourself, you make others feel valued and appreciated. This can lead to deeper relationships and a more positive social environment.

Giving is a sign of kindness, compassion, and generosity. These are all qualities that people admire and respect. You can give your time, your money, or your skills. When you give emotional support or simply a listening ear, this can make a real difference in the lives of those around you. No matter how you choose to give, it is important to do so with a genuine heart.

They are happy to see others succeed.

When someone you care about achieves something great, it is natural to feel happy for them. Likable people take this happiness to the next level by celebrating their friends and family's accomplishments. They are genuinely happy to see others being rewarded, and they do not feel threatened or jealous. They allow them to bask in their glory.

There are many benefits to being around people who are happy to see you succeed. For one, it can boost your self-confidence. When you know that your friends and family are rooting for you, it can make you feel more capable and motivated.

Additionally, being around people who celebrate your accomplishments can help you build stronger relationships. When you feel supported and appreciated, you are more likely to feel close to the people in your life.

Finally, being around people who are happy to see you succeed can make you happier overall. When you are surrounded by positive people, it is easier to focus on the good things in life.

They ask thoughtful questions and listen attentively.

It is often said that we should listen two times as much as we speak. Likable people take this a step further. Listening is a skill often overlooked but is one of the most important skills you can have. When you are a good listener, you show you care what the other person has to say. This can make them feel valued and respected.

Additionally, being a good listener can help you learn more about the people and world around you. When you listen attentively, you can pick up on things that you might not otherwise notice. This can give you a better understanding of their thoughts, feelings, and motivations.

In addition to being good listeners, likable people also ask thoughtful questions. This shows that they are interested in what the other person has to say and that they are paying attention. It also helps you to keep the conversation going and to learn more about the other person.

• Ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no answer.

• Ask questions that are relevant to the conversation.

When asking questions, it is important to be sincere and to ask questions that you are genuinely interested in the answer to. Avoid asking questions that are too personal or that could make the other person feel uncomfortable. It is also important to be respectful of the other person's time and not ask too many questions.

They are positive.

It’s much more enjoyable to spend time with positive people. They might not always be over-the-top happy, but likable people tend to think and behave positively. They are cheerful and will always look for the silver lining in any situation. When you are positive, you make others feel good, and you create a more enjoyable atmosphere for all.

There are benefits to being a positive person. First, it can help you attract positive people into your life. Remember like attracts like. This can lead to more robust relationships and a more positive social environment.

Second, being positive can help you improve your health. Studies have shown that positive people tend to have lower stress levels, better immune systems, and longer lifespans.

Third, being positive can help you achieve your goals. When you are positive, you are more likely to believe in yourself and your ability to succeed. This can lead to greater motivation and accomplishment.

Last, likable people are grateful. They appreciate the advantages that come with positivity.

They are less judgmental than most.

Likable people tend to be less judgmental than the rest of us. If they do judge someone, they will do it silently. They believe that "live and let live" is the best attitude to adopt if your actions cause no harm to anyone. They are less likely to create drama or begin arguments. They are more likely to be supportive and encouraging. As a result, people are more likely to want to be around them.

Likable people also tend to be more understanding and forgiving. They are less likely to hold grudges or to dwell on the negative aspects of a situation. They are more likely to see the good in people giving them the benefit of the doubt by focusing on their strengths rather than their weaknesses.

Likable people are more accepting of differences. They understand that everyone is different and that there is no one right way to live. They are more empathetic. They can put themselves in other people's shoes and understand why they might make the choices that they make. Because they are more confident, they don’t feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better.

They act responsibly.

No one is perfect; everyone makes mistakes at some time or another. Likable people are not afraid to admit when they are wrong. They know that everyone makes mistakes, and they are willing to own up to theirs. They also know that the best way to make up for a mistake is to learn from it and try not to make it again.

Likable people don’t try to wriggle off the hook by blaming others or making excuses. They own up to what they’ve done and simply say “I made a mistake.” They then express their regret for the mistake and let the other person know they are sincerely sorry.

Likable people will do their level best to make amends. This can take the form of an apology to someone you’ve hurt or repairing, replacing something you’ve broken. The object is accountability and learning. They try to understand what went wrong and how they can avoid a repeat of the same mistake in the future.

They are patient.

Likable people are often more patient than others. They don't mind waiting for you to figure out what you want to do. They don't become irritated or annoyed very quickly. They understand that everyone has different needs, and their pace of achievement is also different. They will let you move at your speed, just happy to be in your company.

Likable people are relaxed in manner. They don’t feel the need to rush through things. They find contentment and happiness in taking their time and mindfully enjoying each moment.

Likable people are kind, patient, and supportive because they care about others. They want to make the world a better place, and they know that one way to do that is to be kind to others. They are also patient because they understand that everyone makes mistakes. They are supportive because they want to help others make progress.

My final thoughts are.

Likability can be a skill like any other. Sure, some people come by it naturally, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t practice and adopt the habits of likability. The real secret sauce is for you to genuinely like and care about other people.

For more information, read these posts.

Gift Yourself A Kindness Mindset

13 Habits Of Exceptionally Likeable People

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

Help Others By Bringing Out Their Best

Gram’s wisdom: Help others be their best.

Have you ever wondered how you can bring out the best in the people around you? My Gram had the idea that taking the time to bring out the best in others was good for you, good for others, and enough to change the world. She thought it was natural to want to help others reach their potential.

Gram believed everyone has some unrecognized talent that makes them unique and special, something that makes them stand out from the crowd. However, it can be challenging to know where to begin or what approach to take in finding it. Especially when most people can’t see their hidden talents and have no clue what their uniqueness is.

Unfortunately, if they have limiting beliefs, they may assume that they are not as good as others and their self-confidence will falter as well. But you can be the champion of change that can inspire them to see the best in themselves even as you begin to help them discover their hidden talents.

Some of the ways that you can bring out the best in others include:

• Practical tips and strategies that can bring out the best in them.

• Providing constructive feedback.

• Creating a supportive environment.

Be generous with your time.

To begin, you need to be generous. Give others your time and energy. Focusing on someone’s strengths can be a powerful way to uncover their talents and potential. When you focus on what someone is good at, you create an atmosphere where they are more likely to flourish.

Watch what they do and how they do it. Give the person opportunities to use and develop their strengths. This can be done through tasks or projects that align with their interests and skills. While you observe them in action, you should look for patterns in their behavior and skills.

Ask them what they enjoy doing. What tasks do they find either easy or simple to perform? This insight into what they excel at and what they find fulfilling will help you identify their strengths and potential talents.

Believe in them, even when they fail or stumble and struggle to believe in themselves. It’s easy to believe in someone who is already reaching their goals and knocking down all the walls. The difficult thing is to see the talents that are buried deep inside someone. Especially when that person doesn’t even know that talent is there.

Positive feedback and encouragement can go a long way in helping someone uncover their talents. Let them know when they are doing well and provide support when they face challenges. With opportunities for growth and encouragement, you help them discover new talents and build confidence in their abilities.

Have an open mind.

Talent can take a lot of different forms, and these talents may not fit into traditional molds or meet your personal biases. So, ask yourself why you might have a certain bias about a particular skill or talent. To fully appreciate and respect the talents of others, it’s important to look past your judgments and accept the differences that make each person unique.

Many of the most talented people you may meet throughout your life will be completely different than you. Try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and try to understand their perspective. This can help you appreciate the value of their talents and see things from another angle.

Embrace the differences that make each person distinctive. Recognize that there are many different types of talents and skills, and every individual brings something valuable to the table. The greatest ability in seeing the best in others is to get past some of your own biases. Kick that to the curb and see what a difference it makes.

Be clear.

When you want to bring out the best in others, your role is to be clear and interact with other people. If you want to do this, you need to collaborate, foster talent, and be there for the other person. Fostering someone’s talents can help them to develop their skills and reach their full potential.

You don’t have to be the most capable or the smartest or the best person in the room. You just need to be clear and ready to listen and learn along the way. Let the other person know that you value them and would like to be there for them as they learn more about their talents as well.

 Try these to support and encourage someone's talents:

1. Provide resources: If you see someone with a particular talent, provide them with the resources they need to develop their skills further. This may involve books, online tutorials, or connections to mentors in their field.

2. Offer feedback: Regular feedback can be invaluable to someone who is developing their talent. Provide constructive criticism that is specific and actionable, and make sure to give positive feedback to reinforce their progress.

3. Create opportunities: Give the person opportunities to showcase their talents and practice their skills. This may involve projects or assignments that align with their interests or setting up a mentorship program with someone who has experience in their field.

4. Encourage practice: Encourage the person to practice their talent regularly, and to seek out opportunities to apply their skills in real-life situations. This can help them to build confidence and improve their abilities over time.

5. Celebrate their achievements: Celebrate the person's achievements and successes along the way. This can help to motivate them and reinforce the value of their talents.

Be persistent.

It can be difficult to foster a new talent or a skill in others. The other person can become discouraged and often be distracted. They can come to rely on you to do most of the work, rather than taking on the initiative and using some of their newfound talents and skills.

While this is natural, your goal is to be persistent with them and not let them give up. You are there to help them, but your job is not to do the work for them. Provide words of encouragement and support, and you will be able to help them reach their goals, and they will be proud that they put in the work themselves.

Here are things you can do to further help them practice their new talent:

1. Set goals: Help the person set specific, achievable goals for putting their talent into practice. Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate each milestone along the way.

2. Provide accountability: Check in with the person regularly to see how they are progressing toward their goals. Encourage them to keep going, even when they encounter obstacles or setbacks.

3. Offer support: Be available to offer support and encouragement when the person needs it. Listen to their concerns and offer guidance or advice as needed.

4. Create a supportive environment: Create an environment that is conducive to practicing their talent. This may involve providing resources, space, or time to practice, or connecting them with others who share their interests.

5. Reinforce the value: Help the person to see the value and importance of their talent, and how it can benefit themselves and others. Encourage them to share their talents with others, and to continue to develop their skills over time.

Be present.

You need to pay attention and be present to spot the talent in other people. You need to be able to read some of the smallest clues because most people don’t know their talents and so will not show them off to you in the process.

When someone shares their talents and interests with you, listen actively and attentively. Ask questions to show that you are interested in learning more about what they are doing.

Show a genuine interest in the person and their talents. Be curious to learn more about that person.  Provide practical and emotional support as the person develops their talents. Be present enough to show that you care and want to be there for them as well.

Be a role model by setting an example of the behaviors and attitudes you want to see in others. This could be anything from being punctual to showing empathy and kindness.

Give others the power to make decisions and take ownership of their work. This will show that you trust and respect them, and it will also help them develop leadership skills.

Recognize that developing new talents takes time and patience. The greater your ability to pay attention to others, and to build their confidence and motivation, the more talent you can find in other people.

My final thoughts are.

We often don’t see a particular talent in ourselves or if we do, we lack the confidence to show it to the world. Sometimes it’s easier to see talent in someone else. Don’t allow that talent to go to waste. Encourage people and help them to see the value they can bring to the world.

For more information, read this post.

9 Ways To Bring Out The Best In Others.

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Being More Supportive To Your Friends

Daily life is full of struggles, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of only thinking about yourself. Consequently, it can be difficult to know how to support your friends. And frankly, there is no one way for you to support all your friends. However, empathizing with and supporting a friend in their time of need is crucial to a healthy relationship. The support you should show to your friends will vary widely on their personality and their unique situation. 

Having good friends is one of the most important things in life. After all, friends are the people who will be there for you when you need them, and who will help you celebrate your successes. But being a good friend isn’t always easy. It can be difficult to be objective about a friend’s problems and it takes work to maintain a strong friendship. But supporting them through tough times strengthens your friendship and creates a more meaningful connection.

Here are a few ways to be a better and more supportive friend.

Make time for them.

As humans grow and change, they tend to have less and less time for their friends. This is why, one of the most important things you can do for your friends is to make time for them. Be there for them when they need you, and simply be present When you make time for your friends, you are showing them that you care about them and that you want to support them.

It can be difficult to make time for your friends when you have a lot going on in your own life. This doesn’t mean you must clear your calendar. Instead, you can invite friends along to certain activities or cancel that one thing you don’t need to do so you and a friend can grab a coffee after work.

Your friends are there for you when you need them, so you must support them in return. If you are feeling overwhelmed, reach out to your friends. Let them know what is happening in your life and how they can help you. They will appreciate knowing that you trust them enough to confide in them.

Be a better listener.

You’ve heard it time and time again: if you want to be a more supportive friend, one of the best things you can do is to be a better listener. It can be easy to want to offer advice or jump in with your opinion when your friends are sharing something. But listening is truly the best way to support anyone who may be in your life. Hearing what your friend is saying - and not just waiting for your turn to speak - can make them feel heard and understood.

Humans need to let go of their emotions through communication. Sometimes, the ability to share what’s going on without being judged can be an enormous relief. And sometimes, your listening is enough to make the person who is venting feel supported in their endeavors. It also shows that you value their thoughts and experiences.

If you’re unsure how to be a better listener, here are a few things you can try:

1. Make eye contact and focus on the person who is talking.

2. Put away distractions like your phone or the TV.

3. Try to resist the urge to interrupt or interject.

4. Ask questions to show you’re interested and engaged in the conversation.

5. Repeat what your friend has said to show you’ve understood them.

6. Avoid advising unless your friend asks for it.

7. Just be present and let your friend know you support them.

Cheer your friends up or cheer them on.

Whatever your friends may be pursuing, if they confide in you that they need your help, now is the time for you to step up. You can cheer them up or cheer them on. Sometimes your friends feel disappointed with the lack of forward momentum in a goal. You could cheer them up by reminding them of how far they have come.

Maybe they are tired and don’t want to go to the gym today. Here is your chance to take a practical approach to cheer them on. You could encourage them by offering to go with them, so they don’t miss a session or help remind them of the goal they made. And afterward, you may be surprised at how far a simple “good job” can go!

So, try to be upbeat around your friends. This may help them to see the good in their situation and feel more hopeful.

Celebrate your friends’ achievements.

Your friends will have good days and bad days. As important as it is to be there for them when they're feeling down, it's just as important to celebrate their achievements with them. And if they conquer a big goal, you should try and offer to celebrate with them! After all, true friends are ecstatic when their friends mark big steps in life!

Here are four ways you can show your support for your friends' accomplishments.

• Firstly, take an interest in what they're doing. If they're excited about something, ask them about it. Showing a genuine interest in their lives will make them feel appreciated and valued.

• Secondly, congratulate them graciously. A heartfelt "well done" can mean a lot, especially when it's coming from a friend.

• Thirdly, offer your help. If they've achieved something big, they might need a hand getting everything sorted out. Let them know you're there for them.

• Finally, just enjoy their company. Sometimes, the best way to show you care is to simply spend time with them. Whether you're celebrating their success or simply enjoying a cup of coffee together, quality time is always appreciated.

Offer your shoulder in tough times.

A | There's nothing like having a best friend - someone you can share your deepest secrets with, laugh with until you cry, and rely on during tough times. If you want to be the friend they can count on, here are a few things you can do:

B | Make them laugh: Sometimes, the best medicine is laughter. If your friend is feeling down, make them laugh with your silly jokes or funny stories.

C | Accept them for who they are: Your friend is going to have good days and bad days. Accept them for who they are and love them no matter what.

D | Help them out if you are able: If your friend is dealing with a practical problem, do what you can to help them out. For example, if they are having car trouble, see if you can help them fix it, give them a ride, or run errands for them.

E | Offer advice only if asked: If your friend comes to you for advice, try to be helpful. Be honest with them, in any friendship, honesty is key. Offer them your honest opinion and help them brainstorm solutions to their problem.

F | Help them find help: If your friends are struggling, encourage them to get help. This could be from a professional, such as a therapist, or a support group. Sometimes just talking to someone who understands can make a huge difference.

G | If you want to be a good friend, one of the best things you can do is be a shoulder to cry on. This means being there for your friend when they need to vent and offering a comforting ear and shoulder to cry on. It can be difficult to see a friend in pain, but being there for them can make all the difference. Just be sure to respect your friend’s wishes and you’ll be giving them the best support possible.

By following these tips, you can be the friend they can always count on- no matter what.

My final thoughts are.

Being more supportive of your friends is a great way to show them you care. It can make a big difference in their lives, and it can also make yours more fulfilling. So next time your friend is struggling, offer to lend an ear and just be there for them. Let them know how much you appreciate them and show them how much they mean to you.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and thank you for reading it.

For more information, check out these posts.

8 Ways To Really Help A Friend In Need.

Five Ways To Improve Your Listening Skills.

Can I Make My Relationship Work?

YOU CAN’T. Not on your own. Sure, you can improve some things that are more YOU centric on your own. You can even alter your attitude and manner and learn to just accept what makes you feel less than happy. Many people do. But this is most unsatisfactory and difficult to manage for the rest of your life and I wouldn’t recommend it.

Only as a couple can make your relationship work. It must be important, and you must genuinely want it to work. Did I mention it’s hard work? Nonetheless, the rewards of a good relationship are enormous and well worth the effort you will make.

7 Keys To help your relationship work:

Have you committed?

This could be the most important thing you do. Your commitment must be to each other. To your future together. To solving any difficulties together. You should be devoted to what best serves you as a couple. At times, a decision may of necessity rest more heavily on one of you or the other. Remember to be sensitive and never overbearing when making that decision.

How do you communicate?

The way you speak to your husband tells him as much as the words you use, as does your body language. Some conversations will take you out of your comfort zone. So, speak gently to one another. You should be honest but never hurtful. Apologize frequently, especially if you are right. Don’t make statements that give the impression that you harbor a back door out of your relationship. These and other nasty statements can never be taken back and are best never said. Communication is a connection, so let it always be positive.

What are your boundaries?

Every couple needs boundaries. You are, after all, individuals, and you likely had a life before you met. Your boundaries should be defined upfront to save trouble and misunderstanding next week or next year. This doesn’t mean you have the right to know everywhere your spouse goes or all that he does. It does require that you don’t do hurtful things to each other.

Give and expect respect.

Show your spouse you respect him. Actively listen when he is speaking and sharing his opinions. You’re not obligated to see things his way, but you should be interested in his view and be aware of the value that sharing has. Your husband should similarly show his respect and regard for you. To be respectful is to be aware of your partner’s feelings.

Supporting your partner is a must.

Yes, I said must. If you want a flourishing relationship you must be your spouse’s biggest supporter. You should always encourage him and stand up for him. Your supportive husband will want what is best for you and he will never hold you back from reaching your goals and desires. You need to be a pillar your partner can lean on.

Nothing without trust.

Can you be trusted? Can he? Nothing hurts two people more than betrayal. All healthy relationships need mutual trust, and couples don’t automatically trust right away. Trust takes time and attention to develop. But with love, communication, confidence, and support your trust in one another can grow and deepen.

Flexibility for the long haul.

Things change. Life changes. As individuals, we grow at different rates and at different times. Events in life can cause one or the other partner to leap ahead while the other hunkers down for safety. This is normal but it shouldn’t become permanent. Over the passing years, you live together, flexibility is your friend. If you develop an unbending mindset you run the risk of unhappiness settling into your relationship. The continuing flexibility and growth of your relationship allow you both to find new things to be excited about singly and together.

My final thought

I believe that if you begin your relationship using the 7 keys above you have a good chance of making things work. Toss in some humor and forgiveness and at the very least you should have a happy home life while you work at it. Nothing smooths the way better than to be able to laugh at yourselves and forgive one another.

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This is the 4th and the last post in a series of responses to past most liked posts. I have placed the link below to the earlier post.

Simple Love and Care Advice for Couples