Help Others By Bringing Out Their Best

Gram’s wisdom: Help others be their best.

Have you ever wondered how you can bring out the best in the people around you? My Gram had the idea that taking the time to bring out the best in others was good for you, good for others, and enough to change the world. She thought it was natural to want to help others reach their potential.

Gram believed everyone has some unrecognized talent that makes them unique and special, something that makes them stand out from the crowd. However, it can be challenging to know where to begin or what approach to take in finding it. Especially when most people can’t see their hidden talents and have no clue what their uniqueness is.

Unfortunately, if they have limiting beliefs, they may assume that they are not as good as others and their self-confidence will falter as well. But you can be the champion of change that can inspire them to see the best in themselves even as you begin to help them discover their hidden talents.

Some of the ways that you can bring out the best in others include:

• Practical tips and strategies that can bring out the best in them.

• Providing constructive feedback.

• Creating a supportive environment.

Be generous with your time.

To begin, you need to be generous. Give others your time and energy. Focusing on someone’s strengths can be a powerful way to uncover their talents and potential. When you focus on what someone is good at, you create an atmosphere where they are more likely to flourish.

Watch what they do and how they do it. Give the person opportunities to use and develop their strengths. This can be done through tasks or projects that align with their interests and skills. While you observe them in action, you should look for patterns in their behavior and skills.

Ask them what they enjoy doing. What tasks do they find either easy or simple to perform? This insight into what they excel at and what they find fulfilling will help you identify their strengths and potential talents.

Believe in them, even when they fail or stumble and struggle to believe in themselves. It’s easy to believe in someone who is already reaching their goals and knocking down all the walls. The difficult thing is to see the talents that are buried deep inside someone. Especially when that person doesn’t even know that talent is there.

Positive feedback and encouragement can go a long way in helping someone uncover their talents. Let them know when they are doing well and provide support when they face challenges. With opportunities for growth and encouragement, you help them discover new talents and build confidence in their abilities.

Have an open mind.

Talent can take a lot of different forms, and these talents may not fit into traditional molds or meet your personal biases. So, ask yourself why you might have a certain bias about a particular skill or talent. To fully appreciate and respect the talents of others, it’s important to look past your judgments and accept the differences that make each person unique.

Many of the most talented people you may meet throughout your life will be completely different than you. Try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and try to understand their perspective. This can help you appreciate the value of their talents and see things from another angle.

Embrace the differences that make each person distinctive. Recognize that there are many different types of talents and skills, and every individual brings something valuable to the table. The greatest ability in seeing the best in others is to get past some of your own biases. Kick that to the curb and see what a difference it makes.

Be clear.

When you want to bring out the best in others, your role is to be clear and interact with other people. If you want to do this, you need to collaborate, foster talent, and be there for the other person. Fostering someone’s talents can help them to develop their skills and reach their full potential.

You don’t have to be the most capable or the smartest or the best person in the room. You just need to be clear and ready to listen and learn along the way. Let the other person know that you value them and would like to be there for them as they learn more about their talents as well.

 Try these to support and encourage someone's talents:

1. Provide resources: If you see someone with a particular talent, provide them with the resources they need to develop their skills further. This may involve books, online tutorials, or connections to mentors in their field.

2. Offer feedback: Regular feedback can be invaluable to someone who is developing their talent. Provide constructive criticism that is specific and actionable, and make sure to give positive feedback to reinforce their progress.

3. Create opportunities: Give the person opportunities to showcase their talents and practice their skills. This may involve projects or assignments that align with their interests or setting up a mentorship program with someone who has experience in their field.

4. Encourage practice: Encourage the person to practice their talent regularly, and to seek out opportunities to apply their skills in real-life situations. This can help them to build confidence and improve their abilities over time.

5. Celebrate their achievements: Celebrate the person's achievements and successes along the way. This can help to motivate them and reinforce the value of their talents.

Be persistent.

It can be difficult to foster a new talent or a skill in others. The other person can become discouraged and often be distracted. They can come to rely on you to do most of the work, rather than taking on the initiative and using some of their newfound talents and skills.

While this is natural, your goal is to be persistent with them and not let them give up. You are there to help them, but your job is not to do the work for them. Provide words of encouragement and support, and you will be able to help them reach their goals, and they will be proud that they put in the work themselves.

Here are things you can do to further help them practice their new talent:

1. Set goals: Help the person set specific, achievable goals for putting their talent into practice. Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate each milestone along the way.

2. Provide accountability: Check in with the person regularly to see how they are progressing toward their goals. Encourage them to keep going, even when they encounter obstacles or setbacks.

3. Offer support: Be available to offer support and encouragement when the person needs it. Listen to their concerns and offer guidance or advice as needed.

4. Create a supportive environment: Create an environment that is conducive to practicing their talent. This may involve providing resources, space, or time to practice, or connecting them with others who share their interests.

5. Reinforce the value: Help the person to see the value and importance of their talent, and how it can benefit themselves and others. Encourage them to share their talents with others, and to continue to develop their skills over time.

Be present.

You need to pay attention and be present to spot the talent in other people. You need to be able to read some of the smallest clues because most people don’t know their talents and so will not show them off to you in the process.

When someone shares their talents and interests with you, listen actively and attentively. Ask questions to show that you are interested in learning more about what they are doing.

Show a genuine interest in the person and their talents. Be curious to learn more about that person.  Provide practical and emotional support as the person develops their talents. Be present enough to show that you care and want to be there for them as well.

Be a role model by setting an example of the behaviors and attitudes you want to see in others. This could be anything from being punctual to showing empathy and kindness.

Give others the power to make decisions and take ownership of their work. This will show that you trust and respect them, and it will also help them develop leadership skills.

Recognize that developing new talents takes time and patience. The greater your ability to pay attention to others, and to build their confidence and motivation, the more talent you can find in other people.

My final thoughts are.

We often don’t see a particular talent in ourselves or if we do, we lack the confidence to show it to the world. Sometimes it’s easier to see talent in someone else. Don’t allow that talent to go to waste. Encourage people and help them to see the value they can bring to the world.

For more information, read this post.

9 Ways To Bring Out The Best In Others.

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Gift Yourself A Kindness Mindset

You deserve the same kindness you show others

Your kindness is not about making sacrifices or denying your own needs. Treating others kindly shouldn’t be viewed as a burden or another check mark on your to-do list.

It’s the visible expression of living positively. Kindness is all about mindset, and you can train your brain to make kindness almost habitual. Have you noticed that being kind to someone makes you feel good as well? It’s because selflessness promotes a chemical reaction in your brain, releasing serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine. These chemicals not only make you feel good but also aid in the reinforcement of positive social behavior. By establishing new neural pathways, you set yourself up to live a more positive, kinder life.

Here are some scientifically proven tips to bring about added kindness into your brain.

A |Choosing kindness

In choosing to be kind, you are intentionally changing your mindset to treat people with compassion and empathy. Observe the effect your kindness has on others. When you smile, people’s natural reaction is to smile in return. You set up a kindness loop that keeps on paying itself forward!

Choosing to be kind, regardless of your mood, can even turn a grouchy day into a happier one. Your brain receives the message that all is well, and almost like magic, you’re feeling more cheerful.

B |Do more random acts of kindness

Studies show that performing five random acts of kindness each week is the single most effective way of increasing your happiness. Anything from buying a pay it forwards coffee, to bringing a cooked meal to a new mom, or mowing your neighbor’s lawn will make you and the other guy or gal feel good. (My husband’s favorite is to pay for the groceries of someone who appears to need a lift.)

C |Practice being grateful

Make it a daily practice to count your blessings. While I believe this is good for everything, research shows that people are happier when they notice the good things in their lives and express gratitude for it. The outcome is so evident that it changes your brain structure! Brain scans have shown the effect of mindfulness and gratitude.  The parts of the brain associated with stress shrink, while the regions associated with self-awareness and compassion grow.

Now that you have some ideas about how to increase your kindness mindset let’s put that new mindset to work on you.

Be kind to yourself 4 ways

Some days are not so good. Maybe you’re tired and grumpy from the get-go. And things seem to spiral downward from there. You spill your coffee, the washer overflowed and it’s your turn to provide lunch for your book club. You’re running late and you wish you could get a do-over.

If you’re having a terrible day, stop, take a deep breath, let it out, and take a little time out to be kind to yourself. You can’t undo the bad things that have already happened, but you can turn around your bad day right now. Here are four simple things you can do to be kind to yourself and put a stop to a bad day. 

1.  Celebrate your small wins

Sometimes it can feel like an accomplishment to get through the day at all! If you’re having a bad day, write down in your journal all your wins, big, and small.

If you took the time to eat lunch, made it to the gym or yoga class, fed your family, and walked the dog you are on a winning streak!  Make it fun and pat yourself on the back for all the check marks on your list. Make it even more fun by writing down the bad things that didn’t happen. You didn’t spill coffee on your boss; you didn’t get mired in traffic, and you didn’t forget to pick up the kids.

2.  Plan a treat

If your day is moving from bad to worse, plan to do something special, luxurious, and relaxing. A long bath with the good bath oil, and order takeout for dinner. Book a weekend away or meet up for a quiet dinner with your partner or a friend.

It isn’t so important what you do if you give yourself something to look forward to!

3.  Reset your self-talk

Take a moment to check in on how you talk to yourself. Do you berate yourself? Are the words ‘you always’ or ‘you never’ frequently voiced in your self-talk? Or maybe ‘you’re no good’, or ‘why don’t you’?

Then it’s time to reset your inner critic to become your inner champion and turn that self-talk around. Would you speak to a friend like that? No way! Then why be unkind to yourself? Everyone has bad days, you need encouragement, not beating up!

4.  Take time out

When all appears to be going wrong, you can halt that negative spiral by taking a break. Get out of the office if you can, go and do some deep breathing in the park, look at the sky and listen to the birds, or failing that, look out of the window for a few minutes.

Practice some deep breathing and maybe have herbal tea or a glass of water. Anything that can ground you and make you feel calmer and more in control.

My final thought

Like so many other things, kindness is seen as something we do for others and not ourselves. Without replenishment, it becomes a dwindling resource. But with the right kindness self-care mindset, we should be able to refill our depleted supply and be kinder to everyone we meet and most especially to ourselves.

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It’s A Less Kind World We Live In

It appears life has taken us to a place where we no longer value kindness as a trait. Kindness has been replaced with self-absorption and wanting to stay anonymous. The question is why has the world become less kind?

Is it that we no longer care about others? I don’t think so. Do we believe kindness makes us seem weak? Is the lack of kindness from some global change?

The truth is, kindness has become less and less important in our daily lives for several reasons.

· We’re in a rush. Life has become so fast-paced, filled with appointments and places to be that we feel we no longer have the time to simply sit and listen to someone.

· Technology dependence has taken place of the human face-to-face, voice-to-voice interactions of the past. No longer do we pick up the phone or meet face-to-face to talk to others. Now we spend our time texting, posting, getting involved in others drama or simply playing mindless games on our cell phones, tablets, computers, and even our watches.

Technology has allowed us to be thoughtless by being late all the time. After all, we can simply text our friend we’re running late, and they’ll know. It’s taken away the common courtesies of saying thank you, hello, nice to meet you, please, and “how can I help you”.

We no longer smile at others when we see them. We no longer sympathize or help someone who is having a rough day. Instead, we place an emoji on our social media post or in a text and think we have done enough.

There’s an app for everything. Want to have a relationship? Use this app. Want to order your dinner? Use this app. Are these apps taking away the connectedness we once had that produced kindness? The self-same connectedness people claim to want in their lives. Maybe.

· Self-absorption and self-centeredness are another reason kindness has taken a backseat. Many people are focused on their own lives, on getting ahead and doing whatever is necessary to beat the other guy.

People are more interested in taking care of their wants before they reach out and extend some type of kindness to others. We’ve become a society of “me first” that wasn’t seen as often just a few years ago.

· The way we live causes us to withdraw from others. Living in crowded cities among strangers can make you quickly hide your natural inclination to be generous and kind to others. With crime, kidnappings, murders, and other fears running wild in many cities, people have found it safer to keep to themselves. The rise in road rage keeps people from stopping to help someone with car trouble.

· How we were raised was different 30 years ago. We didn’t need catchphrases to tell us to help one another. We believed in helping each other. Neighbors looked out for each other. People weren’t afraid to help the poor and needy. People taught their children to respect others and to be trustworthy and honest.

Today people are more afraid to show their kindness. There is fear that we will be attacked for what we say or do. We don’t want to appear vulnerable and to be hurt, so we avert our eyes and try not to see those who need our kindness.

Kindness has taken a backseat to greed, technology, poor manners, and the world we live in. Instead of showing kindness, we’re afraid to be seen as the nice guy because we might be taken advantage of.

Ways to add kindness into your day

But you’re convinced that being kind is how you want to live your life. And you’re making considerable headway in cultivating your kindness mindset, but you’re still looking for some suggestions?

Try these five tactics to include kindness in your life.

1.  Practice empathy.

You probably know that saying about walking a mile in the other person’s shoes, right? It’s true, empathy and kindness are two sides of the same coin.

Remember, you can have no idea what’s happening in the other guy’s life. They could be on a high or have just received devastating news. They may be dealing with all kinds of problems. And you being short-tempered or cutting in line in front of them might be the last straw. Why choose to hurt when you can be kind?

2.  Listen to others.

Sometimes just listening is the greatest gift you can give a person. If a friend or family member is having a rough time, they need to talk. And you need to listen. You might be able to help, or you might not. To begin with, they need to be heard.

3.  Show your gratitude.

So often we’re focused on achieving the next goal, always trying to stay ahead. And that can make you inaccessible, or brusque in your dealings with others. It can keep you focused on yourself instead of others.

Try sitting back and looking around. Feel grateful for all that you have, and all you’ve achieved — being grateful sets you up for being in the kindness mindset. Instead of focusing on getting more, you’ll want to share the love!

4.  Choose kindness intentionally.

Begin every day by setting the intention to be kind. Consciously choosing kindness before you’ve even gotten out of bed puts you in the kindness zone and makes being kind easier.

You know that habits take several weeks to ‘stick,’ right? Begin a kindness habit now, and it will soon become just part of who you are and how you behave. Why it’s hardly any effort at all!

5.  Be a role model.

In a world where unpleasantness is common, and trolling people online is an everyday event, you can stand out by being a role model for kindness.

The world needs your kindness more than ever. Like positivity, kindness can be contagious. If you are consciously kind, you’ll likely set up a virtuous kindness circle–your acts and attitudes of kindness will inspire people around you to treat others kindlier. You might even shame those trolls or bullies into better behavior.

My final thought

Kindness doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. It functions well in the little things we do. A smile to a stranger, holding a door for a person whose hands are full, or a word of encouragement to someone who is hurting. Kindness warms the hearts of both the giver and the recipient.

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