It appears life has taken us to a place where we no longer value kindness as a trait. Kindness has been replaced with self-absorption and wanting to stay anonymous. The question is why has the world become less kind?
Is it that we no longer care about others? I don’t think so. Do we believe kindness makes us seem weak? Is the lack of kindness from some global change?
The truth is, kindness has become less and less important in our daily lives for several reasons.
· We’re in a rush. Life has become so fast-paced, filled with appointments and places to be that we feel we no longer have the time to simply sit and listen to someone.
· Technology dependence has taken place of the human face-to-face, voice-to-voice interactions of the past. No longer do we pick up the phone or meet face-to-face to talk to others. Now we spend our time texting, posting, getting involved in others drama or simply playing mindless games on our cell phones, tablets, computers, and even our watches.
Technology has allowed us to be thoughtless by being late all the time. After all, we can simply text our friend we’re running late, and they’ll know. It’s taken away the common courtesies of saying thank you, hello, nice to meet you, please, and “how can I help you”.
We no longer smile at others when we see them. We no longer sympathize or help someone who is having a rough day. Instead, we place an emoji on our social media post or in a text and think we have done enough.
There’s an app for everything. Want to have a relationship? Use this app. Want to order your dinner? Use this app. Are these apps taking away the connectedness we once had that produced kindness? The self-same connectedness people claim to want in their lives. Maybe.
· Self-absorption and self-centeredness are another reason kindness has taken a backseat. Many people are focused on their own lives, on getting ahead and doing whatever is necessary to beat the other guy.
People are more interested in taking care of their wants before they reach out and extend some type of kindness to others. We’ve become a society of “me first” that wasn’t seen as often just a few years ago.
· The way we live causes us to withdraw from others. Living in crowded cities among strangers can make you quickly hide your natural inclination to be generous and kind to others. With crime, kidnappings, murders, and other fears running wild in many cities, people have found it safer to keep to themselves. The rise in road rage keeps people from stopping to help someone with car trouble.
· How we were raised was different 30 years ago. We didn’t need catchphrases to tell us to help one another. We believed in helping each other. Neighbors looked out for each other. People weren’t afraid to help the poor and needy. People taught their children to respect others and to be trustworthy and honest.
Today people are more afraid to show their kindness. There is fear that we will be attacked for what we say or do. We don’t want to appear vulnerable and to be hurt, so we avert our eyes and try not to see those who need our kindness.
Kindness has taken a backseat to greed, technology, poor manners, and the world we live in. Instead of showing kindness, we’re afraid to be seen as the nice guy because we might be taken advantage of.
Ways to add kindness into your day
But you’re convinced that being kind is how you want to live your life. And you’re making considerable headway in cultivating your kindness mindset, but you’re still looking for some suggestions?
Try these five tactics to include kindness in your life.
1. Practice empathy.
You probably know that saying about walking a mile in the other person’s shoes, right? It’s true, empathy and kindness are two sides of the same coin.
Remember, you can have no idea what’s happening in the other guy’s life. They could be on a high or have just received devastating news. They may be dealing with all kinds of problems. And you being short-tempered or cutting in line in front of them might be the last straw. Why choose to hurt when you can be kind?
2. Listen to others.
Sometimes just listening is the greatest gift you can give a person. If a friend or family member is having a rough time, they need to talk. And you need to listen. You might be able to help, or you might not. To begin with, they need to be heard.
3. Show your gratitude.
So often we’re focused on achieving the next goal, always trying to stay ahead. And that can make you inaccessible, or brusque in your dealings with others. It can keep you focused on yourself instead of others.
Try sitting back and looking around. Feel grateful for all that you have, and all you’ve achieved — being grateful sets you up for being in the kindness mindset. Instead of focusing on getting more, you’ll want to share the love!
4. Choose kindness intentionally.
Begin every day by setting the intention to be kind. Consciously choosing kindness before you’ve even gotten out of bed puts you in the kindness zone and makes being kind easier.
You know that habits take several weeks to ‘stick,’ right? Begin a kindness habit now, and it will soon become just part of who you are and how you behave. Why it’s hardly any effort at all!
5. Be a role model.
In a world where unpleasantness is common, and trolling people online is an everyday event, you can stand out by being a role model for kindness.
The world needs your kindness more than ever. Like positivity, kindness can be contagious. If you are consciously kind, you’ll likely set up a virtuous kindness circle–your acts and attitudes of kindness will inspire people around you to treat others kindlier. You might even shame those trolls or bullies into better behavior.
My final thought
Kindness doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. It functions well in the little things we do. A smile to a stranger, holding a door for a person whose hands are full, or a word of encouragement to someone who is hurting. Kindness warms the hearts of both the giver and the recipient.
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