accountability

How To Become A Likable Person

Gram’s Wisdom 53

Do you know someone whom everyone likes? I did, for many years. It was my Gram. Everybody liked her. Young people, old people, and even small children. They all went away with the feeling that they had just met their new best friend. Some people have this ability to skate through life, beloved by everyone. They find it easy to make friends and rarely ruffle anyone's feathers.

All my life I stood in awe of Gram’s ability to draw people to her magnetically. I am a dyed-in-the-wool introvert, so I always believed it was her exceptionally extroverted personality that made her so likable. She, on the other hand, had always believed that these 4 things were the biggest contributing factors to being liked.  

  1. Be kind to others, even when they are not kind to you.

  2. Find something to be grateful for every day.

  3. Focus on the positive aspects of life.

  4. Be a good listener.

Since she has been gone, I have had time to give serious thought to the skills and behaviors she and other especially likable people have in common and expanded her list. I knew she wouldn’t mind. 

 

If you are interested in learning more about the habits of likable people, continue reading.

 

They are honest and genuine.

Honesty is a key ingredient in likability. You can't be likable if you are constantly lying, it will catch up to you eventually. People are drawn to those who are truthful and trustworthy. When you are honest, you build trust with others, which makes them more likely to like you. 

There are many benefits to being honest. For one, it can help you build stronger relationships with others. When you are honest with your friends, family, and colleagues, they can trust you and rely on you. This can lead to deeper and more meaningful relationships.

Likable people are also genuinely themselves. They don't act like anyone else; they are happy with who they are. When you are authentic, you attract people who appreciate you for who you are. You also make it easier for people to connect with you on a deeper level.

Being authentic can be difficult, especially in a world where we are constantly bombarded with messages about what we should look like, act like, and think like. However, it is important to remember that there is no one right way to be. The most important thing is to be true to yourself.

If you want to be a likable person, it is important to be authentic. Be yourself, and don't be afraid to show your true colors. People will appreciate that about you.

 

They give freely.

You don't have to give away everything you own to be likable, but being willing to give without receiving anything in return is a key trait of a likable person. People are drawn to those who are kind and giving. When you are willing to give of yourself, you make others feel valued and appreciated. This can lead to deeper relationships and a more positive social environment.

Giving is a sign of kindness, compassion, and generosity. These are all qualities that people admire and respect. You can give your time, your money, or your skills. When you give emotional support or simply a listening ear, this can make a real difference in the lives of those around you. No matter how you choose to give, it is important to do so with a genuine heart.

 

They are happy to see others succeed.

When someone you care about achieves something great, it is natural to feel happy for them. Likable people take this happiness to the next level by celebrating their friends and family's accomplishments. They are genuinely happy to see others being rewarded, and they do not feel threatened or jealous. They allow them to bask in their glory.

There are many benefits to being around people who are happy to see you succeed. For one, it can boost your self-confidence. When you know that your friends and family are rooting for you, it can make you feel more capable and motivated.

Additionally, being around people who celebrate your accomplishments can help you build stronger relationships. When you feel supported and appreciated, you are more likely to feel close to the people in your life.

Finally, being around people who are happy to see you succeed can make you happier overall. When you are surrounded by positive people, it is easier to focus on the good things in life.

 

They ask thoughtful questions and listen attentively.

It is often said that we should listen two times as much as we speak. Likable people take this a step further. Listening is a skill often overlooked but is one of the most important skills you can have. When you are a good listener, you show you care what the other person has to say. This can make them feel valued and respected.

Additionally, being a good listener can help you learn more about the people and world around you. When you listen attentively, you can pick up on things that you might not otherwise notice. This can give you a better understanding of their thoughts, feelings, and motivations.

In addition to being good listeners, likable people also ask thoughtful questions. This shows that they are interested in what the other person has to say and that they are paying attention. It also helps you to keep the conversation going and to learn more about the other person.

  • Ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no answer.

  • Ask questions that are relevant to the conversation.

When asking questions, it is important to be sincere and to ask questions that you are genuinely interested in the answer to. Avoid asking questions that are too personal or that could make the other person feel uncomfortable. It is also important to be respectful of the other person's time and not ask too many questions.

 

They are positive.

It’s much more enjoyable to spend time with positive people. They might not always be over-the-top happy, but likable people tend to think and behave positively. They are cheerful and will always look for the silver lining in any situation. When you are positive, you make others feel good, and you create a more enjoyable atmosphere for all.

There are benefits to being a positive person. First, it can help you attract positive people into your life. Remember like attracts like. This can lead to more robust relationships and a more positive social environment.

Second, being positive can help you improve your health. Studies have shown that positive people tend to have lower stress levels, better immune systems, and longer lifespans.

Third, being positive can help you achieve your goals. When you are positive, you are more likely to believe in yourself and your ability to succeed. This can lead to greater motivation and accomplishment.

Last, likable people are grateful. They appreciate the advantages that come with positivity.

 

They are less judgmental than most.

Likable people tend to be less judgmental than the rest of us. If they do judge someone, they will do it silently. They believe that "live and let live" is the best attitude to adopt if your actions cause no harm to anyone. They are less likely to create drama or begin arguments. They are more likely to be supportive and encouraging. As a result, people are more likely to want to be around them.

Likable people also tend to be more understanding and forgiving. They are less likely to hold grudges or to dwell on the negative aspects of a situation. They are more likely to see the good in people giving them the benefit of the doubt by focusing on their strengths rather than their weaknesses.

Likable people are more accepting of differences. They understand that everyone is different and that there is no one right way to live. They are more empathetic. They can put themselves in other people's shoes and understand why they might make the choices that they make. Because they are more confident, they don’t feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better.

 

They act responsibly.

No one is perfect; everyone makes mistakes at some time or another. Likable people are not afraid to admit when they are wrong. They know that everyone makes mistakes, and they are willing to own up to theirs. They also know that the best way to make up for a mistake is to learn from it and try not to make it again.

Likable people don’t try to wriggle off the hook by blaming others or making excuses. They own up to what they’ve done and simply say “I made a mistake.” They then express their regret for the mistake and let the other person know they are sincerely sorry.

Likable people will do their level best to make amends. This can take the form of an apology to someone you’ve hurt or repairing, replacing something you’ve broken. The object is accountability and learning. They try to understand what went wrong and how they can avoid a repeat of the same mistake in the future.

 

They are patient.

Likable people are often more patient than others. They don't mind waiting for you to figure out what you want to do. They don't become irritated or annoyed very quickly. They understand that everyone has different needs, and their pace of achievement is also different. They will let you move at your speed, just happy to be in your company.

Likable people are relaxed in manner. They don’t feel the need to rush through things. They find contentment and happiness in taking their time and mindfully enjoying each moment.

Likable people are kind, patient, and supportive because they care about others. They want to make the world a better place, and they know that one way to do that is to be kind to others. They are also patient because they understand that everyone makes mistakes. They are supportive because they want to help others make progress.

 

My final thoughts are.

Likability can be a skill like any other. Sure, some people come by it naturally, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t practice and adopt the habits of likability. The real secret sauce is for you to genuinely like and care about other people.

 

For more information, read these posts.

Gift Yourself A Kindness Mindset

13 Habits Of Exceptionally Likeable People

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

It's Never Too Late To Begin A Journaling Habit

“The best time to begin keeping a journal is whenever you decide to.” Hannah Hinchman

Writing your thoughts down as a daily habit is better known as journaling. It’s one of the best ways to track your everyday life. You can use journaling to figure out what is or isn’t working in your life. Things become more tangible when written down on paper. As you write about your motivations, struggles, or things that you feel remorseful about, you will be in a better position to solve them, live with them, or let them go. 

In addition, you will also have a written record of your positive thoughts and feelings, your desires, your dreams, and what makes you proud. Your journal is also a good place to consider the ideas you have for improving relationships with family and friends. And you will want to celebrate your achievements and express your gratitude. A journal can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. Either way, the future you will be thankful you began.

 

 

How to leverage a journal in your everyday life.

Choose a quiet place.

It's best when you begin to journal that you choose a place that is peaceful and comfortable. Being in a busy, noisy, atmosphere makes it more difficult to focus on the thoughts and feelings you want to get down on paper. Journaling helps bring stability when your life feels like it’s going through a rough patch. It helps you get to know yourself better by revealing your innermost fears, thoughts, and feelings. When you are journaling, it’s a moment for personal relaxation, a time when you do soul-searching and relieve stress and wind down.

 

Observe the patterns.

A written record of the challenges in your life becomes reference material for you. You will be able to see the problems that you are facing now and those you have been able to overcome. It allows you to notice patterns, make improvements, and change over time. Being conscious of the strength that you had in other circumstances helps you to move ahead with more confidence. Through journaling, you can create a meaningful connection with yourself which is as important as creating meaningful connections with family or friends.

 

Gain control.

Many people struggle with stress, depression, or anxiety; however, keeping a journal can help you gain control of your emotions and improve your mental health and memory. You should avoid an excess of stress as it can be harmful to your mental, physical, and emotional health. It has been proven beyond a reasonable doubt that journaling is an incredible stress management tool. Having a written record of your thoughts and plans reinforces your control over the things that happen in your life. 

 

Build accountability.

Journaling is great training in accountability. If you can build a habit of writing each day, then you can also stick to the goals or plans you set for yourself. Moving forward the thoughts you set down are tracking the progress of your plans for the short term. In the future, looking back, you have a broad overview. Writing a journal allows you to discover what makes you happy, what moves you, and how to navigate your feelings and behaviors most proficiently. Developing a habit of journaling as a pre-bedtime meditation habit can help you relax and cool down emotions.

 

Solve problems.

Every day journaling allows you to work through some difficult emotions you may have such as depression and anger, reducing the intensity of those emotions and comforting yourself.  It also helps you to solve problems through decisive thinking and right-brain reflection. Through journaling, you can realize compassion, resolve conflicts, and cultivate understanding, love, and kindness for yourself.

 

Connect with inner needs.

One of the best ways to strengthen your emotional function is through journaling. Writing down what you feel when something triggers a strong emotion helps you understand the cause and can help you find a solution. As journaling habits are developed, benefits become long-term. This means that diarists become more in tune with their mental health by connecting with inner needs and desires.


 

Have a happier life.

Journaling can be a good way to have a happier life. Journaling enhances your mood and gives you a better sense of overall emotional well-being and happiness. Focusing on being grateful for what you have helps to lessen the power of the things not achieved yet. Writing down how far you have come or how thankful you are for your blessings, friends, and families.

 

Improve your confidence.

Journaling can help you to have a greater sense of confidence and self-identity. In addition, it also helps in the organization of important patterns and growth in life. Research shows that expressive writing can help a person to develop more planned, adaptive, and cohesive schemes about themselves and others.  Through journaling, one can also open and engage the right brain creativity, which gives you access to your creative potential.

 

Discover the lasting benefits of habitual journaling.

Writing has always been a popular tool for self-expression. It renders what our minds produce into tangible records, either on paper or on a digital platform. Writing your thoughts and plans is insurance against the loss of your mental expressions.

If ever there was a useful method of recording your vision, goals, and dreams, it is journaling. People often confuse this with keeping a diary. The two have similarities such as the fact that both involve writing and are about personal record keeping. Both are an extension of your mind, but there are variations that characterize them.

Journal vs Diary.

A diary is a record of daily events. It is a description of what the day has been like, with details of activities one has engaged in, and feelings evoked by the events. It is an exploration of one's emotions as triggered by events. Diaries are private entries, which is why some come with locks. When one hears the term diary, thoughts go to the teenage kinds where one records crushes, heartbreaks, and rivalries. That is not only what a diary is for. You can keep a diary at any stage of your life with more mature investigations of your thoughts and feelings. We can also use diaries when making nostalgic reminiscences for different stages in our lives.

A journal is more extensive as it includes more than just emotional examination. Journals let you write your thoughts and experiences around future goals and plans. It is less about ranting as people assume a diary is for and more about writing for reflections on important issues. Keeping a journal allows you to assemble your ideas and observations, so you can create a plan to move forward. An example would be a journal of personal goals where you can record a weight loss goal and a detailed plan to achieve it. You can record the small steps of victory and any drawbacks along with your plan to overcome them. 

You use journals as organization tools whereas diaries are about exploring feelings. A journal can be a tool for tracking progress for personal or corporate goals. It helps you keep track of everyday life.

There are different journals that one can keep. The list includes a personal journal, a business journal, a prayer journal, a workout journal, a gratitude journal, a bullet journal, and so on. All these journals explore different areas of one's life.

The use of a gratitude journal would involve recording what you are grateful for on a regular basis. You could record daily or as often as you can, citing people that you are grateful for. This process is more reflective, allowing you to examine your life for what you have around you that adds meaning and value to it. In that journal, you could plan how to express gratitude for others and record how doing so has improved your perspective on life. You can even record how doing something for others as a sign of gratitude makes you feel.

In a business journal, you can describe your vision for your business and write plans to take it to new heights. You can record completed daily tasks that feed into your dream and allow for evaluation of previous achievements or failures and suggestions for future enterprises. What matters is honesty and imagination. Your journal is a safe space where you can convey your dreams and reflect on your life. 


 

Benefits of journaling.

A personal journal is like a memoir. It is a window into history- a pathway of your life that other people can trace generations later. There are several prominent people in history whose journals were discovered and studied long after they died. These contain information on some of the most pivotal moments in the history of humanity. From the travel journals of explorers like Marco Polo to creative journals by Leonardo da Vinci, they offer us glimpses into the world of inventors and people who made significant contributions. There are scientific journals from Marie Curie documenting findings in the early research into radioactivity, and memoirs of captains of great wars on their battle strategies. All these are records of the lives of people who made an impact in various sectors of the history of mankind. 

You can also record your history for your family to trace for generations to come. Here is a link to my What Is A Grandparent’s Journal? If you are a pioneer in a certain field or continuing with research done before you, you can add your contributions and let others know your achievements by keeping a journal detailing the progress from their work to yours.

Keeping a personal journal helps you analyze events in your life and explore your feelings more constructively, without limitation. It can be as therapeutic as finding someone to confide in, helping you to process your feelings and thoughts much better. This impacts your mental health as you unload the burden of thoughts and feelings onto paper. Your journal can help you deal with stress and ensure overall wellness. 

A gratitude journal helps you to focus on the things that matter. It improves your outlook on life by keeping you positive about what you have.

A creative journal gives your mind the freedom it needs to capture and expand a dream. You can be as creative as you want in articulating your vision without judgment.

Writing your goals for your business or your personal vision makes them more real to you and encourages you to go for them. A journal allows you to focus on what you want to accomplish. 

Keep a journal as a way of finding clarity in any area of your life. It is the best form of expression and evaluation we have at our disposal.

 

My final thought.

Grab a cup of tea or coffee and begin putting what’s on your mind into your journal. Just begin where you are. This is good for you — physically, mentally, and emotionally. You don’t have to be the greatest or most skillful writer for you to begin journaling. But you do need to set aside a dedicated space and time for journaling.

 

For more information on journaling, read this post.

8 Spiritual Benefits Of Journaling (That Might Surprise You).

Thanks for taking the time to read this post. Pass it on if you know someone who would benefit from the information.