How To Become A Likable Person

Gram’s Wisdom 53

Do you know someone whom everyone likes? I did, for many years. It was my Gram. Everybody liked her. Young people, old people, and even small children. They all went away with the feeling that they had just met their new best friend. Some people have this ability to skate through life, beloved by everyone. They find it easy to make friends and rarely ruffle anyone's feathers.

All my life I stood in awe of Gram’s ability to draw people to her magnetically. I am a dyed-in-the-wool introvert, so I always believed it was her exceptionally extroverted personality that made her so likable. She, on the other hand, had always believed that these 4 things were the biggest contributing factors to being liked.  

1. Be kind to others, even when they are not kind to you.

2. Find something to be grateful for every day.

3. Focus on the positive aspects of life.

4. Be a good listener.

Since she has been gone, I have had time to give serious thought to the skills and behaviors she and other especially likable people have in common and expanded her list. I knew she wouldn’t mind. 

If you are interested in learning more about the habits of likable people, continue reading.

They are honest and genuine.

Honesty is a key ingredient in likability. You can't be likable if you are constantly lying, it will catch up to you eventually. People are drawn to those who are truthful and trustworthy. When you are honest, you build trust with others, which makes them more likely to like you. 

There are many benefits to being honest. For one, it can help you build stronger relationships with others. When you are honest with your friends, family, and colleagues, they can trust you and rely on you. This can lead to deeper and more meaningful relationships.

Likable people are also genuinely themselves. They don't act like anyone else; they are happy with who they are. When you are authentic, you attract people who appreciate you for who you are. You also make it easier for people to connect with you on a deeper level.

Being authentic can be difficult, especially in a world where we are constantly bombarded with messages about what we should look like, act like, and think like. However, it is important to remember that there is no one right way to be. The most important thing is to be true to yourself.

If you want to be a likable person, it is important to be authentic. Be yourself, and don't be afraid to show your true colors. People will appreciate that about you.

They give freely.

You don't have to give away everything you own to be likable, but being willing to give without receiving anything in return is a key trait of a likable person. People are drawn to those who are kind and giving. When you are willing to give of yourself, you make others feel valued and appreciated. This can lead to deeper relationships and a more positive social environment.

Giving is a sign of kindness, compassion, and generosity. These are all qualities that people admire and respect. You can give your time, your money, or your skills. When you give emotional support or simply a listening ear, this can make a real difference in the lives of those around you. No matter how you choose to give, it is important to do so with a genuine heart.

They are happy to see others succeed.

When someone you care about achieves something great, it is natural to feel happy for them. Likable people take this happiness to the next level by celebrating their friends and family's accomplishments. They are genuinely happy to see others being rewarded, and they do not feel threatened or jealous. They allow them to bask in their glory.

There are many benefits to being around people who are happy to see you succeed. For one, it can boost your self-confidence. When you know that your friends and family are rooting for you, it can make you feel more capable and motivated.

Additionally, being around people who celebrate your accomplishments can help you build stronger relationships. When you feel supported and appreciated, you are more likely to feel close to the people in your life.

Finally, being around people who are happy to see you succeed can make you happier overall. When you are surrounded by positive people, it is easier to focus on the good things in life.

They ask thoughtful questions and listen attentively.

It is often said that we should listen two times as much as we speak. Likable people take this a step further. Listening is a skill often overlooked but is one of the most important skills you can have. When you are a good listener, you show you care what the other person has to say. This can make them feel valued and respected.

Additionally, being a good listener can help you learn more about the people and world around you. When you listen attentively, you can pick up on things that you might not otherwise notice. This can give you a better understanding of their thoughts, feelings, and motivations.

In addition to being good listeners, likable people also ask thoughtful questions. This shows that they are interested in what the other person has to say and that they are paying attention. It also helps you to keep the conversation going and to learn more about the other person.

• Ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no answer.

• Ask questions that are relevant to the conversation.

When asking questions, it is important to be sincere and to ask questions that you are genuinely interested in the answer to. Avoid asking questions that are too personal or that could make the other person feel uncomfortable. It is also important to be respectful of the other person's time and not ask too many questions.

They are positive.

It’s much more enjoyable to spend time with positive people. They might not always be over-the-top happy, but likable people tend to think and behave positively. They are cheerful and will always look for the silver lining in any situation. When you are positive, you make others feel good, and you create a more enjoyable atmosphere for all.

There are benefits to being a positive person. First, it can help you attract positive people into your life. Remember like attracts like. This can lead to more robust relationships and a more positive social environment.

Second, being positive can help you improve your health. Studies have shown that positive people tend to have lower stress levels, better immune systems, and longer lifespans.

Third, being positive can help you achieve your goals. When you are positive, you are more likely to believe in yourself and your ability to succeed. This can lead to greater motivation and accomplishment.

Last, likable people are grateful. They appreciate the advantages that come with positivity.

They are less judgmental than most.

Likable people tend to be less judgmental than the rest of us. If they do judge someone, they will do it silently. They believe that "live and let live" is the best attitude to adopt if your actions cause no harm to anyone. They are less likely to create drama or begin arguments. They are more likely to be supportive and encouraging. As a result, people are more likely to want to be around them.

Likable people also tend to be more understanding and forgiving. They are less likely to hold grudges or to dwell on the negative aspects of a situation. They are more likely to see the good in people giving them the benefit of the doubt by focusing on their strengths rather than their weaknesses.

Likable people are more accepting of differences. They understand that everyone is different and that there is no one right way to live. They are more empathetic. They can put themselves in other people's shoes and understand why they might make the choices that they make. Because they are more confident, they don’t feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better.

They act responsibly.

No one is perfect; everyone makes mistakes at some time or another. Likable people are not afraid to admit when they are wrong. They know that everyone makes mistakes, and they are willing to own up to theirs. They also know that the best way to make up for a mistake is to learn from it and try not to make it again.

Likable people don’t try to wriggle off the hook by blaming others or making excuses. They own up to what they’ve done and simply say “I made a mistake.” They then express their regret for the mistake and let the other person know they are sincerely sorry.

Likable people will do their level best to make amends. This can take the form of an apology to someone you’ve hurt or repairing, replacing something you’ve broken. The object is accountability and learning. They try to understand what went wrong and how they can avoid a repeat of the same mistake in the future.

They are patient.

Likable people are often more patient than others. They don't mind waiting for you to figure out what you want to do. They don't become irritated or annoyed very quickly. They understand that everyone has different needs, and their pace of achievement is also different. They will let you move at your speed, just happy to be in your company.

Likable people are relaxed in manner. They don’t feel the need to rush through things. They find contentment and happiness in taking their time and mindfully enjoying each moment.

Likable people are kind, patient, and supportive because they care about others. They want to make the world a better place, and they know that one way to do that is to be kind to others. They are also patient because they understand that everyone makes mistakes. They are supportive because they want to help others make progress.

My final thoughts are.

Likability can be a skill like any other. Sure, some people come by it naturally, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t practice and adopt the habits of likability. The real secret sauce is for you to genuinely like and care about other people.

For more information, read these posts.

Gift Yourself A Kindness Mindset

13 Habits Of Exceptionally Likeable People

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

Establishing The Essential Principles Of Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a process of active and openhearted attention to the present moment. It is about paying attention to our thoughts, feelings, and surroundings in a non-judgmental way. When we are mindful, we are not trying to alter or fix anything. We are simply observing what is happening in the present moment, with interest and compassion. Mindfulness can help us to live more fully and with greater clarity. It can lift our mood and awareness and improve our relationships. It is a tool that we can use to respond, rather than react, to the stresses and challenges of life.

Essential principles of mindfulness.

These principles are the foundation on which mindfulness is built. But they are by no means the only principles for mindfulness. By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to accept your thoughts and emotions, be curious about your experiences, and be present in the moment.

Freedom from judgment.

Mindfulness is the practice of present-moment awareness. It is the quality of being an impartial witness to your experience without judgment. Mindfulness allows you to see things as they are, without your ideas, thoughts, or beliefs getting in the way. When you’re caught up in your thoughts, it is easy to get caught up in judgment. You may judge yourself for not being good enough, or judge others for their mistakes. But when you’re mindful, you can see that thoughts are just that, and they are not reality.

When you’re mindful, you are also aware of your emotions and their impact. You may have judgments about your emotions, thinking they’re good or bad. But when you’re mindful, you become observant of your stream of consciousness, and instead of trying to control it, let it go. You can then choose how to respond, rather than reacting automatically.

Mindfulness also allows you to be more present in your relationships. You can see the other person more clearly, without your preconceptions and assumptions getting in the way. You can listen more deeply and be more responsive to their needs. The practice of mindfulness can help you to live more fully in the present moment. And to be more open and compassionate with yourself and others.

Having patience.

Allow things to take their time unfolding. When you're trying to learn mindfulness, one of the core principles is to have patience with yourself. That doesn't mean that you won't make mistakes or have setbacks - in fact, it's typical to have both of those things. What it does mean is that you need to be okay with taking your time and not rushing yourself.

Every moment is valuable just as they come. Be open to those moments and accept them. This can be a difficult principle to follow, especially if you're a perfectionist, or you're accustomed to moving quickly through things. Try to understand that things will emerge in their own time. But remember that mindfulness is about being present in the moment, and that takes practice. It's not something that you can learn overnight.

So, be patient with yourself. Don't expect to be perfect. And don't become discouraged if you have a difficult time at first. Mindfulness is a journey, not a destination. And the more you practice, the closer you'll get to living in the present moment - which is the goal.

Begin to see the possibilities.

Often, your beliefs stop you from seeing things as they are. Be willing to see everything for the first time. It's amazing how your life can change when you see the unique possibilities in each moment. You can begin to see new opportunities and feel more optimistic about the future.

View people with fresh eyes, seeing them as they are. Your relationships can improve, and you can feel more connected to others. You can become more successful at work and feel more fulfilled. It all begins with seeing the possibilities. And when you do, everything else falls into place.

Here are three ways to begin seeing the possibilities: 

• Don't be afraid to try new things. 

• Ask questions and be curious about the world.

• You have the power to change your life.

Trust yourself.

Develop trust in yourself and your feelings. This means that you should have confidence in your ability to manage whatever arises in your life. And to make informed decisions based on your understanding and experience. Take responsibility for your actions and your well-being.

It can be difficult to trust yourself sometimes, especially when you’re facing a difficult situation or feeling uncertain about what to do. However, it’s important to remember that you have all the resources you need within yourself to deal with whatever comes up. If you find it difficult to trust yourself, it can be helpful to think back to times when you’ve made decisions that have turned out well. Honor those feelings.

It’s also helpful to remember that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes occasionally. Just because you make a mistake doesn’t mean that you can’t trust yourself. You can always learn from your mistakes and use them as an opportunity to grow and become even wiser.

So, the next time you’re facing a difficult situation or feeling unsure about what to do, remember to trust yourself. You’ve got this. You can handle whatever comes up, and make wise decisions that will lead you to a happy and fulfilling life.

Focus on mindfulness.

Mindfulness is about being present in the moment, and this is something that you can practice every day. When you are mindful, you are aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without getting caught up in them. You can observe your thoughts and feelings as they are, without judging them as good or bad.

You can be mindful while you are walking, eating, or even doing the dishes. All you need to do is to bring your attention to the present moment and be aware of what you are doing. The focus is on doing what you see, notice, and feel.

When you focus on mindfulness, you are better able to control your thoughts and emotions. You are less likely to react to things automatically and instead can choose how you want to respond. You can also be more present in your daily life and enjoy the moment more.

Mindfulness takes practice, but it is something that anyone can do. Start by taking a few minutes each day to focus on your breath or your senses. See how it feels and how it changes your day-to-day life.

 Acceptance of reality.  

Believe what you see in front of you. Not a view of what you hope it is. When you’re at the mercy of what’s happening, it can be hard to feel like you’re in control. That’s why one of the essential principles of mindfulness is acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you’re happy with the situation; it means that you acknowledge it rather than uselessly denying what is happening.

Once you acknowledge reality, you can move towards figuring out a solution. But it’s important to remember that you can’t change everything. Some things are just the way they are, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Learning to accept things as they are is a key part of mindfulness.

Of course, there are those things that can be changed. If you don’t like the way something is, you can do the work to change it. But you must be honest with yourself about what is and what isn’t within your control. If you try to change what is beyond your control, you’ll just end up feeling frustrated.

Accepting yourself is not a passive act. It doesn’t mean settling for how things are. It doesn't mean you should stop trying to achieve your goals. Once you have a clear understanding of the goal you seek and have accepted the reality of how things are, you will be more likely to know how to solve your problem. Acceptance of yourself and the truth of your situation can help you become happier and healthier.

“If it’s out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind too.”

— IVAN NURU

Allow things to unfold in their way.

Another principle of mindfulness is to allow things to unfold in their way. This means not trying to control or predict the future, but instead being present in the moment and letting things happen as they will. This hearkens back to acceptance and your ability to see what you can’t control and just let it go. This can be a difficult concept to grasp, but it is a crucial part of mindfulness.

When we try to control everything, we often end up feeling stressed and anxious. This is because we are constantly worrying about what could go wrong, and this can lead to us missing out on the good moments in life. So, next time you find yourself worrying about the future, try to take a step back and allow things to unfold in their way. If you can learn to let go of the need to control, you can relax more and enjoy the present moment.

My final thoughts are.

Whether you are new to mindfulness or have been practicing for many years, there are always new ways to deepen your understanding and experience of mindfulness. By adding the principles of mindfulness into your daily life, you can learn to live more fully in the present moment. Helping you find greater peace, joy, and satisfaction in your life.

For more information, read these articles.

Key Principles For Mindfulness Practice.

Mindfulness Can Help Improve Or Change Your Mindset.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

Kindness And Its Importance In Your Life

Gram’s wisdom 48: Kindness is important.

“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention.”

Kahil Gibran

Some people are saying that kindness appears to be missing in our society. That far too many people are more connected to their devices than to what happens around them. That they are self-absorbed, inconsiderate, and uncaring.

I don’t believe that at all. Instead, I think the connected people who do care have found their methods of showing it. They are the ones who share pretty pictures, funny cartoons, uplifting messages, and stories of hope and redemption.

Sure, lots of people will scroll by those posts. But not everyone. There will be those few who stop and read, maybe even twice, because it resonates with them. Maybe it makes their heart a little lighter, or their day a bit brighter. And if that isn’t kindness, then I don’t know what is.

My Gram was a firm believer in kindness and compassion. Her view was that no matter how much or little you have, you will always meet people less fortunate than yourself, and they are deserving of your kindness, acceptance, and forbearance. She would tell me that kindness had real value. That it can be easy to throw money at people, but less so to spend your time or your energy.

She often remarked to me that unkindness was the cause of dissension between people. I guess there is a reason why parents tell children “If you can’t say something nice to someone, don’t say anything”.

According to Dr. John and Julie Gottman – founders of the Gottman Institute, which studies relationships – every successful relationship is, in the end, supported by kindness. What’s more, they claim the most important time you should be kind is during some type of conflict, such as when you are arguing with a partner.

Gram told me that a loving, long-lasting relationship with your partner means being able to examine him/her with tolerance, for things to appreciate rather than criticize.

So, why kindness?

As children and even as adults, you look for kindness from your family and friends. You give and receive kindness every day in some form.

Kindness moves people. You remember past kindnesses done to and by you. Kindness nourishes, restores, fortifies, and elevates how you feel about your life.

Studies have shown that kindness though, is not only a good moral value but it is good for you. It is beneficial to your brain, your body, and your emotions in many ways. It is a foundation for a meaningful life.

Here are 7 reasons why kindness is so important.

1. Kindness makes you happier. And everyone seems to be looking for more happiness these days.  When you perform random acts of kindness, you stimulate areas of pleasure, social connection, and hope in your brain.

2. It creates a positive loop in your mind. Kindness makes you happier and happiness makes you kinder. When you are happy, you are more likely to feel giving and kind towards others and act on it.

3. Kindness creates social connections and bonding. As humans, a social connection of some type enhances your physical performance and boosts mental clarity. Being kind allows you to feel part of a group.

4. Kindness helps with the healing process. When healthcare is delivered with kindness it can hasten the healing process, thereby shortening hospital stays. Kinder care leads to an array of outcomes including reduced pain, lowered blood pressure, and less anxiety for the patient and caregivers.

5. Kindness can decrease or help prevent diseases. Kindness lowers our stress and anxiety levels and decreases pain because of the endorphins and feel-good hormones released at the time of the act.

6. Positive emotions from kindness boost your vagus nerve which regulates blood sugar. This helps the body prevent diabetes, strokes, and heart disease.

7. Selflessness has been shown to promote the reward area of your brain. Studies suggest that you get high on being kind.

No matter how small an act of kindness might be, it is good for you. Without kindness, life would often be lonely, filled with anger and despair, disease, and stress. But when kindness is both given and received with no expectations in return, life becomes calmer and happier with more meaningful connections to others.

Being kind is a sign of weakness.

People often believe that being kind means you are a pushover and can be easily taken advantage of.

But is this true?

On the contrary, kindness does not equal weakness. It takes a great amount of courage to be kind to someone who thinks differently than you or is slowing you down in some way.

People who perform regular acts of kindness are often more successful, more resilient, have more friends, are more social, and are well-liked than those who don’t.

How kindness helps you be a better person.

• Kindness increases confidence. Studies show that kindness increases your feelings of self-worth.

• People remember you when you are kind and willing to help others. It sets you apart from others.

• Kindness creates a ripple effect. One person being kind in some way spreads to others, who in turn spread kindness. Kindness is contagious, fostering more kindness.

• Kindness evokes a sense of trust. Studies show that even before establishing your credibility, people who are kind and project warmth are more effective than those who are not.

• Kindness bridges gaps between people. It can reach across barriers in language, gender, locality, religion, and anything else that causes people to misunderstand one another.

Luis Benitez, who has climbed the Seven Summits 32 times, says that kindness and compassion are essential to overcoming terrible physical and mental challenges. He often encounters horrible challenges during his climbs.

As an example, say you see someone limping on the day you need to reach the next camp. Instead of cursing their weakness and ignoring the pain, they are in, you stop to bandage their feet so they can keep up with you.

This is more than just being kind at the moment. If a member of the party lost their ability to hike, your entire group may have to return to the start. Stopping to help a teammate ensures you achieve your own goals.

Reclaim a sense of belonging through kindness.

It’s common to want to feel a sense of belonging. When you belong, you are acknowledged as a member of the group. A sense of belonging is a normal human need as much as the need for food and shelter is. When you feel like you belong, you feel your life has worth and you handle your emotions better.

Sometimes though, you can lose that sense of belonging.

This can be for a variety of reasons. Traumatic events could influence a person’s feelings of self-worth and self-compassion. Trauma often leaves survivors feeling out of step with the rest of the world. They feel lonely, overwhelmed, anxious, confused, and emotional pain creates a sense that they are different.

Your relationship quality is affected by your mental, physical, and emotional health. As researcher and author Brené Brown explains, “A deep sense of love and belonging is a complex need of all men, women, and children. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong.”

Recover a sense of belonging.

One way to help recover a sense of belonging is through kindness. Kindness releases the feel-good hormone. It makes you feel happier and improves your mood. Here are some ways to regain your sense of belonging.

• Contribute to the lives of others by offering to listen and be a sounding board for them. This not only brings them joy but will give you both a feeling of connectedness.

• Have compassion for others who are different from you. Spend time helping others who are less fortunate, and have different likes or needs than you.

• Let go of judgments that build walls. Instead, focus on people by connecting with them. No one is perfect. Everyone has struggles.

• Be kind with your words and way of thinking. Use words that offer strength, compassion, acceptance, and caring.

• Begin building healthy relationships with others using kindness. Healthy relationships are important to a sense of well-being. Help trauma survivors realize they are safe and secure by showing them kindness.

• Turn to your partner for support during tough times.

• Give and receive compliments with kindness.

• Begin doing things that bring you joy. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Give your time at a soup kitchen.

• Join groups or clubs that are interesting to you. Participate in discussions and be kind to those who are members.

• Kindness to both yourself and others is one of the easiest ways to begin gaining your sense of belonging back.

My final thoughts.

Kindness is the secret to a successful and satisfying life. Always be kind because your actions have a greater impact than you realize not only on you but others as well.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Please share it with those you love.

For more information, read these posts.

Why Is Kindness Important?

Little Kindnesses Create Huge Impacts.

Don't Miss Out On Living Your Best Life

What makes up your best life? What is the meaning of making each moment count? These are subjective terms, and the truth is that we all live differently, and have different life goals, and responsibilities. Our specific paths to a fulfilling life may look different, but common elements are shared between us all. We are all human, and we all want a life that looks like it was tailored to us. Following this universal thought, we can all take positive steps to live our best lives and make every moment count.

What do your goals look like?

While you may have an idea of what you want on a day-to-day basis, do you know and understand your long-term goals? When you imagine a happier life, a more secure one, a more adventurous one, what does that life look like to you? Take a good look at all your existing goals, dreams, and aspirations. Do they suit your interests, or have you chosen them to please someone else?

Take some time to assess what you want in your life – not what others expect you to want – then decide if your path needs to change, so you can be in command of your life and future. When you’re setting goals, try to find reasons with meaning that promote the well-being of your mental and physical health. 

The human mind desires to work towards an end goal, without one, you are more prone to psychological or emotional distress from a life without purpose. A study titled “Purpose in Life Predicts Better Emotional Recovery from Negative Stimuli” by Stacey M. Schaefer et al. reinforced the idea that a life of purpose not only supports mental health but also helps you build resilience to face life’s challenges.

List your priorities.

Prioritization is the process of taking the elements of your life and spelling them out numerically. From short-term to-do lists to longer-term, five or more years, plans, your capacity to organize and prioritize plays a huge part in your ability to carry out your goals. Take a deep breath in, exhale, and accept that you can’t do everything. When you know your limits, you can begin determining what to accomplish first so that you can begin living your best life.

One of the largest contributors to stress and anxiety is a life lived without priorities. Goals without priority often leave you feeling frustrated or ‘stuck.’ Time is divided between responsibilities, work, school, family, and friends, the list is endless. Often you prioritize in the wrong order; work that keeps you from relationships, relationships keeping you from your goals, and habits that prevent you from saving, or realizing your purpose.

So, first, with your goals in mind, sit down and prioritize your time. This can be as specific as you need it to be. Second, since your life is not lived in a vacuum, be sure to include those close to you in the process as family members and friends may need to adjust to changes.

 Who are you?

When you know who you are, you have a full awareness of who you are now and who you want to become in the future. People constantly change throughout their lives; though there are some characteristics of themselves they hope to grow and develop, there are other parts of themselves that may remain the same.

Owning who you are means that you’re able to embrace those desires to evolve while also honoring the steadfast features of who you essentially are. Often, this appears as a set of strengths and weaknesses. Just as you are strong in some areas and abilities, you may be weaker in others.  

Learning how to accept and embrace both sides of who you are is a crucial part of understanding yourself. You can more easily become who you want to be when you accept your whole self – not just select parts of it. Practice accepting your shortcomings and flaws; if you can work on them, do it. If these are parts of yourself you can’t change, embrace them.

Who do you want to be?

When you realize how much control you really can have over your life, it opens your view. You recognize that you are quite powerful and have a lot of say over your life and how things work for you. Whether it’s imagining yourself in the next five years, or six months, imagine the person you want to be by that point in time. What do you want to accomplish? What would make you feel happier and more successful?

Knowing who you want to be means you have a clear vision of whom you want to become, as you move forward into the future. This image of yourself may be based on personal goals, ambitions, or changes you want to make within yourself. Owning that image of your future self means you know what’s possible to achieve with hard work, commitment, and persistence. Treat the image of your future self like a roadmap – it will help you determine what tools you already have at your disposal to achieve those goals, and what you need to do to get there.

 Surround yourself with good influences.

The people you surround yourself with, the places you hang out, and the activities you participate in heavily influence your goals. Furthermore, a study has found that being surrounded by happy people promotes happiness.

Your family and friends are a good place to find love and support. Like-minded people can often be found in a hobby or work-related clubs. Mutual encouragement and inspiration are often the currency of these interactions.

Build circles that support life goals. Learn to speak positivity into your life, offer grace and empathy when needed, and strive to always foster mental, physical, and emotional health.

Do hard things.

The last step in any plan is implementation. You’ve set your goals, you’ve prioritized your time, and you’ve surrounded yourself with supporting figures who will encourage you, now you need to go out and do the hard things.

The hard things are those things that make you uncomfortable or require you to risk failure or take courage to perform. The hard things are often the very things you don’t want to do but must persist in doing so that you become competent.

It’s called your best life because it's not always going to be easy, but it will be rewarding. Sitting on the couch every night is easy. Meeting new people, trying new things, and exploring new places can all be scary and at times even intimidating. But these are frequently the moments that we remember and cherish.

My final thoughts.

Remember to take each day as it comes. To make every moment count, you need to learn to live in the present. Your journey into the future gets closer with each decision you make today, so make it a good one.

For more information, read this related post.

9 Practical Tips For Living Your Best Life Now.

I hope you enjoyed my post and will share it with your loved ones.

What Is The Essence Of Contentment?

Gram’s Wisdom 41

I’m sure you are more than familiar with the phrase or idea that you should be happy with what you have. All the same, when you don't have much, it’s easy to question such a notion. For a lot of people, contentment is elusive, a willow the-wisp. It's impossible to hold onto and there's always some piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit in their life.

My Gram told me in a perfect world we wouldn’t worry or fret about anything, we would be content, and then she’d go on to remind me that it is not a perfect world. I never saw Gram flustered because she felt inadequate or that she didn’t get enough done in a day. She once told me that busyness without purpose is just an unnecessary activity. She believed we should give ourselves the space to focus on what we love. As in many other things, Gram’s contentment was fueled by gratitude for her health, her strength, and her blessings.

In a perfect world, we would all be on the path toward wellness and contentment. So, this is an opportunity to set yourself on the path to contentment, and acceptance is key. The concept of contentment through acceptance comes from the idea that someone can feel satisfied with life, feel at peace with who they are, and be comfortable with where they are in life if they simply accept it.

Through self-appreciation and self-acceptance of the present moment, (mindfulness), you can achieve a level of life-contentment that has so far eluded you. You can achieve a level of tranquility and inner peace that you can move forward with.

A life minus contentment.

For many people, life is a competition. They constantly strive for more because they are comparing themselves with others. They are frantic to increase what they have and claw ahead of the pack. Whether it's their wealth, job title, home, or car.

There's always something to upgrade or add to. This sort of feeling will always impede your way of contentment, because how can you identify your good fortune if you are so focused on getting more than what you already have?

These types of people struggle to recognize true milestones and successes because it never feels like it's enough. The urge to push on overpowers any feeling of contentment. It's a burden, and it can be overwhelming.

For people who shape their lives around chasing accomplishments and goals, it can be challenging to appreciate those accomplishments. Even if they realize the vision they created of their ideal life and lifestyle, even if they check every box on their list, it might never be enough.

Learn to love yourself.

Contentment is an essential part of the human experience, even though it eludes many. It might not provide you with immediate, noticeable benefits, yet the qualities contentment brings can change your daily life and help you improve your relationships.

The first step to achieving contentment is acceptance. It's the acceptance of who you are right now. It's the acceptance of who you were in the past, even if you didn't like yourself. Contentment is the acceptance of your situation. It's acceptance of your position, your family, and every part of your life. The second step to contentment is not criticizing yourself, and the third is never trying to change others. When you finally accept these, what comes next?

Contentment can bring you peace of mind. Through acceptance of your life, you can enjoy a renewed positivity and peace of mind that will permit you to enjoy your days more. It doesn't mean you can't continue working toward improving yourself or your future.

Contentment can improve your feeling of happiness. It's so closely tied to feelings of happiness, that accepting your situation can boost your happiness levels. When you spend time feeling more grateful for what you have and what you've done, you can stop obsessing over doing more, which is going to improve your overall quality of life.

Contentment can lead to healthier relationships. As you accept your current situation and embrace contentment, you become a more positive person to be around. You also find it easier to accept others despite their shortcomings or flaws. It's easier to build healthier relationships when you accept your situation and find contentment.

Acceptance doesn't mean you let go of goals or give up on your dreams. It's normal to want to improve yourself and, you can do so while still feeling content. With a positive outlook and a degree of acceptance, you can lead a life of contentment.

Health and well-being.

Much of the unhealthiness that people experience is due to discontent. The mindless eating of junk food, while providing comfort and stress relief, can build up many health issues. Add this to a reluctance to exercise because of poor self-image, tiredness, or that same ill health, and what you have is a dangerous cocktail.

Depression is on the rise, and stress is out of control. How can anyone find contentment in this economy? It appears there's always something lurking there to bring you down.

From an endless stream of more bad news to outrage on social media and a growing ever-connectedness… it is tough out there. It all contributes to where you are now. One of the best ways to alleviate the stresses of the modern world, and stimulate contentment, is mindfulness.

Contentment is a state of being, and while it's linked to happiness, it doesn't mean you will always be happy. There are many ways you can build your contentment levels, but one of the biggest drivers of it is simplicity. Focus on the little things that give you simple joys. More to the point, focus on the present, which is exactly what mindfulness focuses on.

Mindfulness fuels peace and contentment.

First, there's that peace or inner calm. It's the state of being agitation-free. Perhaps a more accurate definition would be when the ocean of life is calm. You can better cope with what waves come when you begin from a place of peace.

When you mindfully meditate, it stimulates the area of your brain in control of emotions and thoughts It also engages the part of your brain that controls your worry levels. So, by engaging these parts of your brain and encouraging a sense of calm, mindfulness helps promote contentment.

I have always described happiness as a choice. It's something within you that you choose every day. While contentment might not be quite the same as happiness, there are a lot of choices involved that contribute to your sense of contentment.

While happiness is associated with pleasant emotions, contentment runs deeper. Often, happiness is a byproduct of contentment. Contentment is about being satisfied with your life, your situation, yourself, and the present moment. Wherever you mind yourself, you find a way to make the most of it. That is exactly what mindfulness promotes.

5 Characteristics Of Contentment PDF

Practicing mindfulness.

So, let's put you on the path to contentment by practicing mindfulness. With that in mind, I want to provide you with several choices on how to practice mindfulness.

Compassionate communication.

The most challenging time to practice mindfulness is when everything is topsy-turvy, and you are in defense mode. Often, those moments are when you are trying to communicate difficult ideas or emotions to someone. So, practice communicating with compassion.

◦          When you feel tense, and emotions are running high, pause and take a breath before you respond. Take a moment to reconnect with your compassionate self before you engage any further.

◦          Listen with an open heart and an open mind. You don't have to accept verbal abuse, but you can actively listen with compassion.

Practice gratitude.

There are a variety of ways you can practice gratitude. It isn't a complicated process, but what it does require is mindful commitment. You must commit to carving out a few minutes every day to practice. It's easy – just close your eyes and think of a few things you're truly grateful for.

Or you can keep a journal and make a list of three to five things you appreciate. It doesn't have to be complicated – it could be a thunderstorm to break the humidity, the strong coffee you had with breakfast, your body for getting you through the day, your job providing for your basic needs, your partner, children, or pet. Once you begin, you will soon see just how much you truly have.

Be an outside observer

When the ocean of life is calm, it's nice. But, what about when the waves are riding high? Practice observing them as an unemotional observer. When you deal with big emotions, you associate certain stories with them, and it becomes difficult to detach them from each other. It's the quickest way to drown in all that negativity.

You can use meditation to observe these emotions, label them, and separate them from what's going on.

Mindfulness meditation focuses on replacing negative thoughts with positive ones to break the negative mindset habit. It's something you can practice every day and in everyday situations. It increases your sense of gratitude, which further fuels your sense of contentment.

My final thoughts.

I believe that gratitude is the most important fuel we add to our lives. If you begin with gratitude, you will feel a noticeable amount of contentment. Add any of the above-mentioned changes to your day, and you will have life-changing contentment.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it.

For more information, read the posts below.

Gratitude, Mindfulness, And Positivity, 3 Valuable Mindsets

The Simple Practice That Can Bring You Deep Contentment

Contentment, A Positive Mindset Choice.

Do you see yourself as a contented person? Are you even aware that contentment is part of a positive mindset, that it’s your choice?

Many people are continually on the lookout for more to have, do, achieve, and desire, while other people are simply content. They are grateful for each moment and everything in it. Rather than thinking about how to pursue contentment, they focus on fueling happiness. But happiness is a temporary emotion, and, believe it or not, contentment is a choice.

Something that a lot of people do when they're young is to imagine the life they want as an adult. Teenagers begin trying to map out their future by determining what career path to take, what they want in a partner, and even the style of home and décor they will have. It's a normal part of the human process.

The dilemma is that numerous fortunate people who realize, find it’s not enough for them, they want more, even if they have plenty. It doesn't matter how much they have; it'll never be enough. Wanting is an endless and hopeless cycle.

You can never have everything because you will always want something else, something new, something more. When you understand that, you will begin to recognize how that wanting is negatively impacting your contentment levels. The more you want, the less contentment you feel because you think you will never have it.

 An exercise in contentment.

You can train yourself to be a more content person. And, as you practice this you will notice a difference in your contentment levels, but it's an ongoing journey. While happiness is a fleeting emotion, contentment is a long-term state of being.

As an example, you are running on a hot day. There is a long stretch on your route that is fully exposed to the sun. Halfway through the run, you reach a point where you are desperate for shade, a cool breeze, or a drink of water.

Suddenly, a cool breeze rolls in from nowhere. It is exhilarating, but it goes as quickly as it came. The delight of the breeze doesn't last long and when it fades, you’re feeling more frustrated and annoyed than ever that the wind disappeared. It doesn't take you long to realize how absurd it is that you are annoyed at your inability to control the weather. Yet, there you are allowing a temporary emotion to control how you feel.

How often do you become angry when things don't go your way? How often do you complain about silly things or expend energy on things that don't merit your attention? It's something we're all guilty of, however, some people feel it more than others.

If you want everything to be exactly as you want all the time, then you will never be content with life. If instead, you are accepting, you can find satisfaction and gratitude in most things. Then you will most likely always feel content with your situation. You can't avoid trouble in life, but you can build an unshakable level of contentment.

 Contentment is the acceptance of how things are.

By practicing contentment, you make a conscious decision to see your life as it is and accept it with gratitude. That doesn't mean you can't strive to better yourself or work on growing as a person. It means that even if you don't, you are content with where you are now.

You aren't pursuing more because you're unhappy. You aren't pursuing more because you think it's necessary for your contentment.

Your motivation is different, which means your intent is genuine. There is nothing passive about contentment; it is a choice that you need to make time and time again. Contented people are calmer, more understanding, and more open-minded. It's an internal attitude that you have total control over.

A sense of contentment is important for a happy life. When you’re feeling content, you have deep satisfaction in how your life is going, what you have in life, and where your life is headed.

5 Approaches to feeling inner contentment.

Sometimes, you will feel contentment can be challenging to experience. Different life circumstances can make achieving that feeling of contentment very difficult. However, it is possible to find a sense of contentment from within yourself – a valuable skill to have when life becomes difficult.

Approach 1: Keep a gratitude journal.

Gratitude journals are exceptional tools for nourishing contentment within yourself. It’s easy to take for granted everything you should feel grateful for in your daily life – keeping a journal is an excellent way to remind yourself of everything that’s going well.

Your journal needn’t be time-consuming and lengthy; it can be incredibly simple. Keep a small notebook on hand and take a moment or two each day to jot down something different that makes you feel gratitude. After you add something new to the list, review a past entry for a quick, positive reminder of how good your life is.

Approach 2: Spread positive energy every chance you get.

Spreading positive energy is a great way to feel contentment within yourself. Ultimately, the only thing you can control in life is yourself: You have the power to use kind words, make smart choices, and act wisely. Choosing to employ positive energy is a great way to develop a sense of contentment.

For example, you can spread positive energy around by doing random acts of kindness, volunteering your time, giving a friend encouragement, or sending a greeting card to a relative. While these activities don’t necessarily require much (if any) of your money or time, they place extra positive energy out into the world and build up your inner sense of contentment.

Approach 3: Make sure you prioritize your own life.

Unfortunately, many people do not prioritize themselves. When you spend all your energy on your family, job, and friends, you’ll likely end each day feeling drained and exhausted, not to mention resentful.

Remember that you have needs and cannot pour from an empty cup. Just as you prioritize other people in your life, you must also prioritize yourself. Give yourself time to participate in regular self-care, practice setting boundaries, and listen to your body – doing so will increase feelings of contentment from within yourself.

Approach 4: Embrace your strengths.

Every person has their own unique set of personal strengths and weaknesses. Rather than letting your weaknesses bring you down, accept that you’re human and try to play up your strengths instead.

It’s hard to feel content if you allow yourself to focus on the negatives all the time. Allowing yourself to focus attention on your weaknesses will make feeling contentment extremely difficult. Instead, give yourself your consent to focus on your strengths.

Approach 5: Celebrate all your successes, big or small.

There is no such thing as a small accomplishment. Whenever you succeed in something – whether it’s something big or small – give yourself a big pat on the back for doing it!

Unfortunately, there is a misconception that celebrating yourself (or at the very least, giving yourself credit for smaller accomplishments) is unnecessary or even selfish. This is entirely untrue. To experience contentment, it’s important to recognize when things are going right in your life. When you do well, give yourself the credit you deserve for doing the hard work to make it happen!

My final thoughts.

I believe that contentment, as well as happiness, are the simplest choices you can make. I choose them each day. I think that gratitude is the single most important aspect of contentment and that comparison-itis shreds happiness to bits. But you don’t need to take my word for it. If you develop an appreciative, grateful mindset, you can have contentment now.

For additional information, please read this post.

7 Ways To Feel Content With Your Life Right Now.

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you will share it with those you love.

You Are Worthy

Why do so many people find it hard to believe in their worthiness? After all, we go around spouting things like “you can do it”, only when they fail, they fall apart because they have no feeling or belief in their self-worth. Now, they are unsure of how many others are unworthy, but they are certain that they are unworthy. How do we recognize self-worth, and is it truly important?

Let’s explore this belief called self-worth.

The importance of self-worth

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to believe in your essential worth. If you don’t have an awareness of your worth, it can be difficult for you to connect with others at a level that is beneficial to them. Without this essential feeling of self-worth, you may allow yourself to settle for less than what you deserve in life.  

Your view of yourself can be hard to see

How you view yourself can be tricky to fix in your mind’s eye. So often you assume others have a clearer window to see who you are. Many people live their lives based on that false belief. Rather than, loving and respecting the person you are, you allow your self-worth to be dictated by who someone else believes you to be.

Reaching a high level of self-worth

Attaining a high level of self-worth may not be easy. But it brings with it satisfaction. Perhaps, you didn’t have the perfect parents to cheer you on. Not to worry. Self-worth can be learned from teachers, mentors, or friends. To help the learning process, don’t forget to dump the negative thinking, and negative talk, replace them with positive equivalents. 

The importance of self-worth in relationships

Self-worth is particularly important in relationships. A lack of value in yourself, will nearly always have you settling for less than you deserve in a partner because you can’t imagine meeting your “dream” partner and falling in love with them - or more accurately, you can’t believe they’d ever fall in love with you. This can lead you down a path that is not only unhealthy for you mentally, and emotionally, but physically as well.

Self-worth leads to better self-care

When you feel unworthy, you don’t see the importance of self-care. The trouble with this is the tailspin it can put you in. You think you don’t deserve to take the time for yourself. You begin to feel unwell. You talk negatively about yourself. Now you feel depressed. 

Instead, strive for a healthy level of self-worth. It will keep you cared for, loved, satisfied, and safe from unavoidable bumps in the road, that might otherwise bring you down. If your self-worth is intact and healthy, you become resilient.

“Our sense of self-worth is the single most determinant of the health, abundance, and joy we allow into our lives.”

— Dan Millman

Innate self-worth, is that even real?

Throughout our lives, we’re subject to good times and bad times, and each of these external events helps to develop our self-esteem. Self-worth, on the other hand, is something that happens internally, without the need for any external confirmation.

You are valuable

Your self-worth is inherent — it is the power of your belief that you have value because you are a human being. That you merit what you desire, and that you are inherently “good enough” to have it.

Another way to think of it is like this: failing at something will not affect your self-worth because you know that failure and success are simply two sides of the same coin — both of which you need in your experience to become a well-rounded person. Therefore, the worth you feel never changes — because you always know that you ARE worthy, no matter what.

You are worthy

You are born a worthy individual — it is simply a part of what makes you, you. You may increase that sense of worthiness at any time by taking actions to reinforce your self-worth beliefs. There are lots of things you can do to grow and maintain your self-worth, like taking care of yourself, getting exercise, being kind to yourself, and saying no when it feels right.

Innate self-worth means that you accept and honor yourself and the uniqueness that makes you different from everyone else. You know that no matter what, you are worthy of loving and being loved...simply because you ARE you.

The difference between self-worth and self-esteem

Self-worth and self-esteem...are they two different concepts? Many people use the two terms interchangeably, but others believe that these are two distinct and unique concepts entirely.

Let’s consider self-worth

How “worthy” or valuable do you believe you are? Do you feel you deserve the things you desire? The answer to these questions determines your self-worth.  It might surprise you to know that many gifted individuals have very low levels of self-worth and will subconsciously sabotage any potential success at the first opportunity.

Your self-worth is largely built up during your early childhood years. You’re essentially told what your worth is by your parents, how they act and react to you, and the quality of attention you get from them. If they have done well, you will treat yourself as if you’re valuable.

Setting realistic yet ambitious goals that stretch your limits shows you what you’re capable of achieving. Reaching those goals proves to you that you’re worth the result, thereby growing and maintaining a healthy sense of self-worth. And your success can be seen as anything that you’ve achieved that holds value for you, whether it’s a higher paying job, learning a new skill, or having healthy relationships.

Let’s talk about self-esteem

Your self-esteem can be determined by things outside yourself — like rejection. It instantly changes the way you think, and feel, about yourself. One of the best ways to reinforce your self-esteem is to surround yourself with supportive people who like and enjoy you and appreciate your unique talents and skills. Everyone deserves this treatment from those who are part of their inner circle.

When you take a hit to your self-esteem, the good news is — you can recover quickly by doing things you’re good at. By understanding that there are distinct things you are great at doing, that hit on your self-esteem will hurt less, and soon you’ll feel great again!

Building Your Self Worth

You are born with an innate sense of self-worth that you can build on and develop as you grow. There are five key components to building up your self-worth, and we’ll explore all five to find out a bit about each.

1 | Know and understand yourself — Knowing who you are inside has nothing to do with what you have or what you’ve done. It IS about knowing what makes you uniquely and unquestionably you. What do you love, what don’t you? What do you appreciate? What sorts of things and experiences do you value? A great question to ask that will help you understand what you value about yourself is: If everything I own, and everything I love, was taken from me tomorrow, and all I had was myself...what would I be able to offer the world?

2 | Accept yourself at this moment — Accepting yourself means valuing who you are in the present moment, irrespective of what you may have done in the past that you’d rather not think about. The good news is that you don’t have to think about it! Being able to accept yourself means no judgments, no looking back, and no looking forward. Just here and now, and who you are at this moment, including the good and the bad, the perfect and the flawed parts of yourself.

3 | Unreservedly love yourself — A very large part of increasing your self-worth is learning to love and care for yourself. Make sure you’re taken care of and that your needs are met. Practice positive and compassionate thinking about yourself, and yourself. This is where you let go of that negative self-talk, self-loathing, and negative thinking patterns. Everybody has flaws and faults. It helps make us who we are as individuals. But it doesn’t invalidate our value.

4 | Acknowledge yourself — This is where you begin to truly realize that everything external to you — has no bearing on who you are and what you are fundamentally worth to yourself and the world. When these external things no longer serve you, you must learn to let them go. Instead, you’ve grown a much stronger sense of self that no longer relies on these external things.

5 | You are accountable — Now, you are in command, and it is you and only you who is responsible for your actions, your life experiences, your challenges, and your unique situations. You have the necessary power to control your entire world.

My final thought

No matter who you are, or what you have been through, I believe that you are good enough, that you are strong enough, that you deserve your desires because you are born a worthy human being.

For more information, read the following post by Stephanie Jade Wong.

13 Things That Don’t Determine Your Self Worth

Thank you for taking the time to read this post, please share it with people you love.

Accept Your Imperfections

One of the most difficult things we humans learn to do is accept our imperfections. Most of you will try to change what you see as flaws if you find them bothersome. You will find flaws in your looks, buck teeth can be fixed, a missing limb is harder to disguise.

Flaws in your behavior can be simple to change but may depend more on how it impacts others. Flaws in your character are tougher to change, and you must want to change and be willing to do the work.

If you want to be content and happy in life, you must find a way to live amicably with your imperfections.

Step away from the competition

If you have any contact with social media, you will have noticed how everyone is striving to be perfect. Suddenly, you can’t post a selfie without at least one filter or go out for dinner without showing your curated plate of food. Even your dog is dressed to look perfect.

Don’t you want to be who you are? Liked for the way you are? After all, other people’s picture perfection isn’t any more genuine than yours is.

Think of it, What would happen if you just decided to take a step away from all the competition, all that clamoring for likes and hearts? What if you chose simply to enjoy your life, warts and all, without sharing it with the world?

Here’s how you can reclaim your life and be happier.

Be mindful of your thoughts

If a negative viewpoint has become your default setting, you probably don’t even realize it when you’re doing it. Before you know it, you perpetually set your inner monologue to negativity. You feel discontented and irritable with everyone and everything. Your thoughts become your life. And that’s no way to live your best life!

Consciously change your inner monologue to focus on the positives. Instead of focusing on differences and seeing them as flaws, choose to see what is good in the other person. If your go-to is to criticize their weight or hair, or the way they speak, change your view of them by finding something to admire.

Take a moment to listen to your self-talk for a moment. Consider the words you’re using and course-correct for more positive language.

Don’t judge harshly

You can choose immediately to stop scrutinizing other people, looking for what’s wrong with their face or their body or their life choices. In this restless modern world, it’s too easy to fall into the bad habit of judging yourself and others too harshly.

Alter your attitude to one of charitability, let go of the urge to be critical of others, stop seeing their differences as flaws instead, see them as endearing quirks, or merely as something that makes that person unique. Soon you should see a trickle-down effect on how you see yourself. The You who have oddities and foibles of your own.

Accept that no one is perfect

A perfectionist is never happy with who they are, how they look, or how they’re doing. Instead, they have unrealistically high standards that can’t be met. When they fall short of this ideal, they feel imperfect and beat themselves up for it.

Wanting to be the best version of yourself isn’t the same as being a perfectionist. Being your best means you work hard, you try, and you don’t give up. But it doesn’t mean you condemn yourself when things aren’t perfect, and you don’t take failure personally. Instead, you are kinder and more forgiving of yourself.

Open yourself to a colorful view of the world

It’s easy to fall into the habit of seeing things as right or wrong, good, or bad. Sure, someone else’s choice may not be your choice, and why should it? Maybe you don’t like snow or want to work for a multinational or live in a city. But it doesn’t mean those other choices are wrong; they’re just different.

Seeing things in black and white is limiting.

Open up a little and revise your worldview, so you see all the colors, all choices as equally valid.

Relax in the present and go with the flow

Perfectionists tend to trip over every little detail and allow imperfections to steal their lives. They act almost like the perfection police, waiting with bated breath to be added to their list of misdemeanors. Or they worry about future mistakes, wasting time trying to avoid them.

Don’t be that person! You can choose to stay focused on the here and now and experience what’s happening in your life. When you embrace imperfection, you learn to love what you can’t change as a natural part of life, it frees you up to enjoy the ride.

Obstacles become challenges that make life more enjoyable on your way to where you want to be. You can slow down, find your inner peace and gratefully notice all the good things there are in your life.

Promote imperfection as a way of life

Once you make peace with imperfection, you’re not sensitive to others’ opinions, you can be a lot more objective about life. Your perspectives change, and what once seemed tremendously important, suddenly doesn’t matter so much. You shift your reality. All experiences become just another aspect of a life lived richly, shaping the person you are continually becoming.

Imperfection stops being something to avoid at all costs. Think about it like this: perfection implies inertia, something you attain and must manage. It’s fragile and vulnerable. It puts an end to growth. And then what? You don’t want to stop learning and growing and developing, do you? Embracing imperfection means there’s always an opportunity to learn and grow and become a better person.

My final thought

I hope this post has given you a birds-eye-view on some of what you need to know about accepting your imperfections.

Keep in mind that some of your perceived flaws make you not just who you are, but uniquely memorable. So, before making alterations, consider why you want to do that and what you hope the desired result looks like.

If you are looking for further help, techniques used in Perfectly Imperfect 7 Ways To Embrace Your Flaws by The Law Of Attraction may be just the ticket.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post. Share it with people you love.