Live Your Life Outside The Box

Do you live in a box? Many people are living in a box, not of their own making. The box is a set of guidelines for us to live by, and it has rules meant to keep us safe from the “bad” things in life. So, who made the rules and why does the box feel so confining?

Let me begin by tackling the rules. No one person ever makes up “the rules” and they are always evolving. As to the box well, some people are comfortable in the box they were given. Some people, myself included, prefer a roomier box of their own making. While other people just can’t breathe in a box.

What does life outside the box mean?

Ask a hundred people, and you’ll likely get many different answers to the meaning of life outside the box. The phrase "outside the box" can refer to thinking outside conventional wisdom or challenging the status quo of society's mold. Some people believe it means rejecting materialism and embracing a more minimalist lifestyle.

Some use the phrase "outside the box" to illustrate the radical change they intend to make in their lifestyle. They may see this as leaving their comfort zone, taking risks, and doing something different, even if it’s scary.

Challenge the status quo.

A recent article stated that you need to experience three things to feel fulfilled.

1. You must be doing something which challenges you.

2. You must feel interested in the things you do.

3. There needs to be some reward for doing these things.

The problem is most people don't experience all three of these at the same time. When you get stuck in the status quo, you frequently feel you are no longer being challenged. Things aren’t all that interesting, they're not exciting, and they certainly don’t capture your imagination. Even if there is a reward in the form of a paycheck or a stable relationship, losing the other two items does not make up for this.

It's time to challenge the status quo. How? Follow these five steps.

Stop doing what everyone else does.

Sure, everyone else might be happy doing a certain thing, but this doesn't mean that you are. People have all kinds of jobs. They're involved in all types of activities. Not all of these will feel right for you. By focusing less on what everyone else is doing and more on what you want to do, you will feel much happier.

Quit hiding your light.

Be more visible. Be more vocal. Seriously, are you happy playing it safe? Wouldn’t you rather take a chance on being seen for who you are, in all your splendid, eccentric glory? The lovely thing about letting go of the idea of fitting in is you are no longer pigeonholed as a follower. It's a lot more fun being the innovator anyway.

Cease believing happiness can be purchased.

When you're unhappy, you begin buying yourself stuff, believing this will somehow make up for it. The harsh truth? All the new clothes, fancy cars, and exotic vacations in the world are never going to make you feel any more fulfilled. Spending each day of your career doing what you hate to get ahead is always going to be a soul-suck.

Stop doubting yourself.

You don't need everyone else to tell you what the right thing to do is or how to do it. You already have strong instincts. Do what feels honest to you. Honor your moral code. Behave with integrity, and you'll find you're a lot happier for it.

Don’t ignore your chances.

Playing it safe can be one of the most important ways we lock ourselves into the status quo. Unfortunately, this is one of the ways used to keep from bettering yourself. If you want your life to change, you must stifle the urge to play it safe and grab hold of the chance you get to do something different.

Together these five items become a mighty force for change. Dedicate yourself to living life outside the box. Explore your dreams and embrace the person you are inside. Find challenge and passion, and you'll have a fulfilling life.

Live a meaningful life outside societal expectations.

 For years, the word 'countercultural' seemed to be a dirty word. Now it's become the buzzword of today's youth. No one wants to conform. Why should they? While there's much to be said for living as an individual, the path is neither smooth nor easy.

But if you’re wondering how, then keep reading.

Acknowledge there's more to life.

If you're dissatisfied, you've probably already reached this conclusion. Having a healthy bank account is an awesome goal. So is searching for the perfect relationship. But there's much more you can get from life than this. You want to make a difference in people’s lives. You want to realize your dreams. You want to help make the world a better place. In this step, you must realize that life can most definitely be more fulfilling if you live your way.

Block out negativity.

From childhood on, you are pressured to conform. The message is everywhere in the media. You’re encouraged to grow up, go to college, get a good job, buy a house, have a family, and do all the other things as if they're on a checklist waiting to be checked off. You don't need this. Take a different approach to social media. Turn off unnecessary notifications. Tune out, well-meaning friends. Don’t allow yourself to be forced into someone else’s box.

What do you want?

Listen to your inner voice. In the silence you have created, take time for meditation or to discover mindfulness in other ways. Ask yourself these questions:  What do you want to accomplish in your life? What is your passion? How can you make a difference? Spend as much time as needed until you have your answers. Don’t rush them, remember this is your life.

Act on your thoughts. 

None of this will ever do you any good unless you act. Consider the answers you received in the silence. What is the logical progression of tasks needed to turn these into reachable goals? Write them down. Put them in your planner, or on a calendar. Set yourself on the journey and throw yourself into it with your whole heart. Dream, discover, explore. Afraid you might trip and fall? Of course, you will. It is a normal part of life. When this happens, look for the lesson to be learned and move on. Do not let anything or anyone stop you. You are the architect of your life.

My final thoughts.

Living life on your terms is a wonderful feeling. It won’t always be simple or easy, but the benefits outweigh the difficulties. Be patient with yourself. Living outside the box can be a great way to discover what you’re capable of.

For additional information, read this post. 

Living Outside Of The Box And How To Know If You Are!

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Accept Your Imperfections

One of the most difficult things we humans learn to do is accept our imperfections. Most of you will try to change what you see as flaws if you find them bothersome. You will find flaws in your looks, buck teeth can be fixed, a missing limb is harder to disguise.

Flaws in your behavior can be simple to change but may depend more on how it impacts others. Flaws in your character are tougher to change, and you must want to change and be willing to do the work.

If you want to be content and happy in life, you must find a way to live amicably with your imperfections.

Step away from the competition

If you have any contact with social media, you will have noticed how everyone is striving to be perfect. Suddenly, you can’t post a selfie without at least one filter or go out for dinner without showing your curated plate of food. Even your dog is dressed to look perfect.

Don’t you want to be who you are? Liked for the way you are? After all, other people’s picture perfection isn’t any more genuine than yours is.

Think of it, What would happen if you just decided to take a step away from all the competition, all that clamoring for likes and hearts? What if you chose simply to enjoy your life, warts and all, without sharing it with the world?

Here’s how you can reclaim your life and be happier.

Be mindful of your thoughts

If a negative viewpoint has become your default setting, you probably don’t even realize it when you’re doing it. Before you know it, you perpetually set your inner monologue to negativity. You feel discontented and irritable with everyone and everything. Your thoughts become your life. And that’s no way to live your best life!

Consciously change your inner monologue to focus on the positives. Instead of focusing on differences and seeing them as flaws, choose to see what is good in the other person. If your go-to is to criticize their weight or hair, or the way they speak, change your view of them by finding something to admire.

Take a moment to listen to your self-talk for a moment. Consider the words you’re using and course-correct for more positive language.

Don’t judge harshly

You can choose immediately to stop scrutinizing other people, looking for what’s wrong with their face or their body or their life choices. In this restless modern world, it’s too easy to fall into the bad habit of judging yourself and others too harshly.

Alter your attitude to one of charitability, let go of the urge to be critical of others, stop seeing their differences as flaws instead, see them as endearing quirks, or merely as something that makes that person unique. Soon you should see a trickle-down effect on how you see yourself. The You who have oddities and foibles of your own.

Accept that no one is perfect

A perfectionist is never happy with who they are, how they look, or how they’re doing. Instead, they have unrealistically high standards that can’t be met. When they fall short of this ideal, they feel imperfect and beat themselves up for it.

Wanting to be the best version of yourself isn’t the same as being a perfectionist. Being your best means you work hard, you try, and you don’t give up. But it doesn’t mean you condemn yourself when things aren’t perfect, and you don’t take failure personally. Instead, you are kinder and more forgiving of yourself.

Open yourself to a colorful view of the world

It’s easy to fall into the habit of seeing things as right or wrong, good, or bad. Sure, someone else’s choice may not be your choice, and why should it? Maybe you don’t like snow or want to work for a multinational or live in a city. But it doesn’t mean those other choices are wrong; they’re just different.

Seeing things in black and white is limiting.

Open up a little and revise your worldview, so you see all the colors, all choices as equally valid.

Relax in the present and go with the flow

Perfectionists tend to trip over every little detail and allow imperfections to steal their lives. They act almost like the perfection police, waiting with bated breath to be added to their list of misdemeanors. Or they worry about future mistakes, wasting time trying to avoid them.

Don’t be that person! You can choose to stay focused on the here and now and experience what’s happening in your life. When you embrace imperfection, you learn to love what you can’t change as a natural part of life, it frees you up to enjoy the ride.

Obstacles become challenges that make life more enjoyable on your way to where you want to be. You can slow down, find your inner peace and gratefully notice all the good things there are in your life.

Promote imperfection as a way of life

Once you make peace with imperfection, you’re not sensitive to others’ opinions, you can be a lot more objective about life. Your perspectives change, and what once seemed tremendously important, suddenly doesn’t matter so much. You shift your reality. All experiences become just another aspect of a life lived richly, shaping the person you are continually becoming.

Imperfection stops being something to avoid at all costs. Think about it like this: perfection implies inertia, something you attain and must manage. It’s fragile and vulnerable. It puts an end to growth. And then what? You don’t want to stop learning and growing and developing, do you? Embracing imperfection means there’s always an opportunity to learn and grow and become a better person.

My final thought

I hope this post has given you a birds-eye-view on some of what you need to know about accepting your imperfections.

Keep in mind that some of your perceived flaws make you not just who you are, but uniquely memorable. So, before making alterations, consider why you want to do that and what you hope the desired result looks like.

If you are looking for further help, techniques used in Perfectly Imperfect 7 Ways To Embrace Your Flaws by The Law Of Attraction may be just the ticket.

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Mindfulness Can Help Improve Or Change Your Mindset

Mindfulness in addition to mindset 

Don’t be afraid that mindfulness practice will make a hash of your established mindsets. They can play nicely together if you allow each some room to breathe.

What are the simple definitions of mindset and mindfulness?

Mindset: the established set of attitudes held by someone.

Mindfulness: a state of active, open attention to the present.

Your mindset along with a mindfulness practice are important frameworks that complement each other. Your awareness of how your perceptual structures work can help you form mindsets that are beneficial for the way you want to live.

Taking mindful action

Being mindful can be broken down into its main elements and the actions you can take on those main ideas. In many ways, it is like a mind map. Here are a few examples:

A) Mindful Movement Ideas-Yoga-Tai Chi-Walking in the Forest

B) Mental Mindfulness-Visualizing-Meditation

C) Creative Mindful Ideas-Journaling-Classical Music

D) Ritual Mindfulness-Silent Prayer-Contemplation in A Personal Space

When making mindfulness your daily routine, you are brought to a greater awareness of your inner self and surroundings. Knowing and loving yourself allows you to shift love and kindness to others. In this hectic world, people are losing a connection to themselves, others, and the surrounding world. Daily mindfulness is your way of reinforcing all those connections and the pathway to a happy life.

Choosing a mindful practice

People are unique individuals. This means that how you choose to practice mindfulness may not work for others. It becomes an experiment, where you test out an array of mindfulness exercises or practices and then take note of which ones benefit you the most.

The previously mentioned ritual movement and mindful movements are a few of the main branches in the list. To get started with mindfulness, try one or all the following basic mindful practices and build up from there. Boost your practice by turning it into a routine.

1.  Yoga is an excellent choice for physical health, and the mental health benefits are also outstanding. When you feel better physically, it reduces stress, depression, and anxiety. There are many yoga styles, including mindful yoga, where you are focusing less on the physical aspect and putting it more on the overall awareness of self. There are four poses you can try in Mindful yoga that will start you on your journey. They are Mountain Pose-Tree Pose-Low Lunge-Reclining Bound Angle Pose.

2.  Mindful writing will help you to move thoughts from your brain to paper. It is helpful to do it right after a meditation session. In mindful writing, you can close your eyes for a moment and let thoughts announce themselves. Then open your eyes and just let the words flow onto the paper. There is no structure in this, instead, you just use free flow and see where it takes you.

Write a sentence or two, then stop to breathe in deeply and exhale. Feel the warmth in your body and let gratitude and love enter when you breathe. Start writing again for a few moments and then take a break and breathe. While you are doing your writing and breathing, you will enter a new meditative state that gives you peace and happiness. Try mindful writing every day at the same time.

3.  The practice of daily mindful meditation is one of the most basic ways to add mindfulness to your day. Meditation can be done for 5 minutes or 30 if you prefer. As with mindful writing, try to do it at the same time of day and make sure to have a quiet space.

Mindful meditation has many health benefits, reducing depression, anxiety, and sleeping issues, for starters. It is also highly recommended for you to teach your children mindful mediation due to it being easy and great for calming them in stressful situations.

Mindful meditation has very few requirements. You need a comfortable place to sit by yourself. Close your eyes and begin to breathe. Focus on the air coming in and believe it has healing powers. Give your thought only to the air entering your lungs and then being slowly expelled.

Mindful meditation means being in the moment and not judging yourself or any added thoughts that enter your mind. When this happens, acknowledge them, and let them flow out while returning to focus on your breathing.

Linking mindfulness and your daily routine

Everyone should take stock of what their day is like. Your day is going to be different than the neighbor on the left and right of you. The neighbor on the left may have five kids, while the neighbor on the right is elderly but quite active.

What goes on in your day? Do you work outside the home and have a million things to do at work, before rushing to the grocery and then home to get the children fed and ready for homework? Once you can write out a typical day, you can then come up with a plan for making mindfulness part of your day. Here are daily tips to review and pick the right ones for you.

1.  Disconnect from your cellphone. It is a distraction in many forms. Unlike the phone of old which was attached to the wall with buttons to push, your cellphone with all the apps, emails, and notifications can be an overwhelming nuisance.

You want to incorporate mindfulness and stress relief into your life, but it is difficult when you are obsessed if the coffee shop you are visiting has Wi-Fi or not. At home, put your cell phone in a different room. Before you use it, ask yourself is it necessary to do so.

Spend the time without the phone, practicing mindfulness as you enjoy that fruit snack. Let the berry you are eating, squirt the tangy juice into your mouth, and hold it for a moment savoring the sweet flavor. Try sitting in a quiet room with a candle and just be mindful of the quiet surroundings and how the flame of the candle burns with orange, yellow and blue colors.

2.  It is highly recommended that you have several journals that to write in. Have a daily journal for the thoughts that come to mind. Pick up your gratitude journal and write what you are grateful for.

The mindful journal will help you to reduce stress and be clear about your life. In the mindful journal, you can write down whatever feelings come to your mind. Reflect on why you feel the way you do and what effect it has on your stress levels? Many people write from their heart into a mindful journal and use it as a brain dump to get all the thoughts out of their head and onto paper.

Another process is writing down what you regularly think about. Is there a series of thoughts that always run through your head when you are working on big projects or talking to a significant other? When you write these down and come back to them later, you can gain clarity on why you feel the way you do.

This will help you to mindfully solve any problems by not attaching a big weight to them. Instead, look at them, ponder how significant they are and whether you need to find a way to address them or just let them float away as a neutral feeling.

3.  Traveling to work often brings stress. There may be a long commute or delayed trains, subways, or buses. Take stock of how you feel during your commute as it may be something you have to do for a significant number of years. Do you become agitated at other passengers, noise, or cars cutting in and out of lanes? This is the time to be mindful and after doing a few calming breaths, ask yourself why you feel this way. Don’t allow emotion to enter into it. Instead, move outside yourself as if you have a twin in the seat next to you. You can hear them saying, “Yes but how does it make you feel? Does it serve you in any way to feel like that? How can you let it go?”

This is something you can practice on every workday, and you will start to notice that you no longer dread the alarm clock signaling that you must get up and head out on a commute.

My final thoughts

I happen to believe that the ability to get a better read on your thoughts and emotions in a nonjudgmental way is liberating. Regardless of why you decide to try a mindfulness practice, you will find plenty of benefits to make the effort worthwhile.

For more information on Mindfulness check out the links below.

6 Mindful Exercises You Can Try Today

Mindfulness Relationship Exercises

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How Do You Adapt To Difficulties?

Adapt yourself

I know a bit about adapting to a situation you weren’t expecting. My husband left our daughter and me in a restaurant 10 days before Christmas. The note he left us at home said he just couldn’t take the responsibility any longer.

I thought, how could he? Her birthday is in 11 days. But I had a steady job and my daughter liked her school. Soon we found a smaller more affordable house within walking distance to school. With that decision made, our first adaptation was put in motion.

We had no family where we lived, but they were only a phone call away. Our friends were the backbone of our support system and the encouragement we received from them was priceless. A good support system of people you love, who love you back, can be essential when you’re adapting to a new way of living.

Adapt or adjust, flexibility is key.

Adapt, if you are facing a situation that will be long-term. Whether it’s beyond your control or arises unexpectedly is less important than duration. For example, you need to adapt if your new job is a 2-hour commute both ways. Adjust, if the situations will be short-term. For instance, shop at a different grocery store for a week while the city repairs the water pipe. One of these two options provides the solution to most problems, so, of course, you want to be flexible in your choice.

Problems, change, stress-they're part of everyone's life, no one is exempt. Adaptability means accepting these things as normal. People who are successful in life, are flexible and develop a mental toughness that allows them to see setbacks and failures as ways to grow and improve. They expect hurdles so, even before the challenges occur, they intend to face them and find solutions.

Are you adaptable or stuck?

Adaptability is a choice. It's you, making up your mind to be flexible, responsive, analytical, and solution-oriented. Choosing to adapt, instead of fighting the issue means that you give yourself the freedom to take action to find a solution. Choosing to be adaptive means you’re the victor and not the victim.

Here are some techniques to help you increase your adaptive skills:

1 | Do you have a sense of humor?

It can be a great ally for you. (Mine certainly was.) One thing humor helps you do is to get some perspective on yourself and your situation. Humor can help you see the fun in the situation when you make a mistake. It can make it easier for you to learn from your mistake.

2 | Do you control your negative emotions?

Negative emotions can get you into a lot of trouble. When you're in a stressful situation, distance yourself until you have your emotions under control. When you're calmer, deal with the situation.

3 | Do you see change as part of life?

Evaluate the way you react to unexpected events. Are you open to trying new ideas or methods? Change can be uncomfortable, but it needn’t be your enemy. Make a conscious effort to make changes in stride. This is a valuable skill to learn, and it will help you in many ways.

4 | Are you good at saying “No”?

If you're stressed because you've over-committed yourself, it's tougher to adapt to situations as they arise. Make your schedule work for you, not against you. Learn to say “No,” calmly and firmly, when necessary.

5 | Simplify your life.

Get rid of clutter and attachments that wear you out and get in the way. Decide what's essential to you and what you want to do with your time and concentrate on that.

6 | Be present in your life.

Focus on what you can control. Let go of the past and the future. They will drain you of the enjoyment to be found in the now.

My final thought

Change happens. It’s rarely fun. Normally it leaves us feeling powerless. If we allow it to. But how often, after a change has occurred, and we have accommodated it, do we wonder why we made such a fuss? I believe that the times I have taken the initiative in a new situation, I adapted to it more easily. How easily do you adapt?

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you will share it with your family and friends.

Little Kindnesses Create Huge Impacts

Grams Wisdom 22

My Gram believed that there was nothing worse you could do than to be unkind. It’s been years but I still remember how my Gram had told me, “a kindness offered to others returns to the giver.” Gram said the warmth in your heart when you are unexpectedly kind is a special feeling that you can’t get any other way.  

Can you remember how you felt after a tough day when a stranger smiled at you?  Or having helped your neighbor carry in her groceries and how she still thanks you for it? Each of these acts of kindness can make a huge impact on someone’s life.

Gram also said kind actions are like giant ripples in a pond. One small action can completely change the life of someone who then pays it forward and performs a kindness for someone else. And the cycle continues and grows.

Regardless of how big or small, the kindness is, it’s likely to have big consequences for your mental health. According to psychologists and researchers, the smallest acts of kindness create a rebound effect on not only the receiver’s psyche but your own as well.

For example, a smile increases a person’s level of comfort along with making them happier. It makes your mood better as well. That simple smile you give could be the reason someone is lifted out of despair.

We can become kinder by practicing every day. Do a random act of kindness each day for someone and observe the impact it has on you. Soon it becomes who you are, and then maybe, how you will be remembered.

Tiny acts of kindness can make a change in two ways; they are the spark for others to begin invoking their small kindnesses, and they have a contagious effect on others. In other words, when we carry out tiny acts of kindness, other people see them, inspiring more kindness.

Let’s look at another example. Say you paint the front door for your elderly infirm neighbor. The lady across the street notices this and offers to do some shopping for him. Perhaps someone else saw this and calls him the next day just to say hello. When you offer service to others with no thought of recompense, it makes you feel happier.

Small acts can create big outcomes

Kind people think others are worthy of consideration for their own sake as fellow human beings. People who tend to do little things to spread kindness are more likely to act in bigger ways as well.

Here are ten ways small acts can have an impact.

1.  Learn first aid. Learning first aid principles can help you be prepared to act if someone needs help in an emergency.

2.  Be a part of a community cleanup effort. Help clean up a park, neighborhood, or local waterway.

3.  Donate toys to the local women’s shelter.

4.  Donate flowers to someone in need in places like hospices, or care homes.

5.  Prepare a hot meal for a neighbor either down on their luck, or unwell. 

6.  Leave snacks in the break room at work.

7.  Volunteer at your local Brownies/Scouts or boys’/girls’ clubs.

8.  Donate books to your local library or children in need.

9.  Remove single-use plastic from your life. Recycle plastics and other recyclables.

10. Volunteer to read to children at your local library.

Whatever you choose to do, every tiny act of kindness can have an immense impact on others in ways you may never imagine. Each tiny act is observed and passed along to another making it expand into a big act.

My final thought

My Gram was one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. She often told me if you can’t say something kind don’t say anything at all. And she made it seem effortless. It was never too much trouble to cook for a friend, provide a shoulder to cry on, or keep a great-grandchild overnight so a young working mom could catch an extra shift at her part-time job. Gram thought we all should aspire to be remembered as kind.

If this post resonated with you, please be kind and share it with your family and friends.

Cultivate Your Gratitude Then Practice Daily

Changing your life with gratitude

While most people are unaware of the amazing power that gratitude has and how it can transform their lives for the better. Yet, some believe in the ability we all have of improving our lives by expressing gratitude for what we already have. When you practice gratitude each day you will see changes in your life very quickly and be amazed at the transformation that it makes.

This article is meant to provide you with some examples of how gratitude can make your life a lot better. You need to have the complete inside track on how gratitude can transform your life so that you’ll be inspired to make this significant change in your life. So read these examples and then get working on your attitude of gratitude right away.

Gratitude helps you maintain a happier mood

It’s easy to fall into a bad mood if you don’t have an attitude of gratitude. If someone has done something that upsets you, rather than becoming angry at them why not express some gratitude towards them instead?  Understandably this is not an easy thing to do and it does require some practice, but the results will certainly be worth it.

You will find when you do this that your mood will change from a negative frustrated or angry state to a happier state of being. This is especially useful in your relationships with coworkers as well as friends and family. Don’t allow things they do to annoy you, put you in a bad mood, or provoke an argument. Instead, think about how grateful you are for the helpful or nice things they normally do and tell them this. You and they will feel better for it.

Gratitude improves your love relationship

The number of break-ups and divorces in the world today are rising at an alarming rate. People are frazzled and tend to fly off the handle with their partner over the smallest of things. If you are someone that frequently criticizes your partner for their failings, then try changing your approach and show them gratitude instead.

It should be easy for you to recall things that your spouse does that you are grateful for when you put your mind to it. Hey, it could be you are grateful that they ignore your failings. But whatever it is tell your partner why you are grateful they in your life and make them feel warm and fuzzy. Notice how their face changes and what words they say in reply. Gratitude will certainly help you make your relationship stronger if you give it a try.

Parent better with gratitude

If you have children, then it’s easy for you to become frustrated with them. They do things that you don’t want them to do and this leads to anger and disappointment. In this situation, most parents express their disappointment to their kids which just creates a negative atmosphere.

Rather than criticizing your kids and having them feel bad about themselves, think about why you are grateful to have your children and tell them this. This will lighten both your moods straight away and everyone will feel better for the experience.

Gratitude helps you cope with the loss

If you experience a loss in your life be it losing a loved one, your job, or something else important then think about the people and things remaining in your life and express your gratitude for them. We all face major knocks in life at some time or another and the most important thing is that you don’t allow it to overcome you.

When expressing your gratitude for the people and things that you still have in your life it will be easier to move forward positively. In the future as the pain of your loss recedes you should begin to feel grateful for the happy memories of the past.

Cultivating your gratitude

We lead busy lives these days and it can be a challenge to take time to ponder about the things in your life that you can be grateful for. But doing this is fundamental, as you will receive some incredible benefits from being grateful and for expressing your thanks for what you have in your life right now.    

Stop and look around you

Commit to pause several times during the day and ask yourself the question “what am I truly grateful for in my life?” You can also ask yourself “who are the most important people in my life and why am I grateful for them?”

When you ask yourself these questions your subconscious mind will arrive at any number of answers for you. Take these answers and evaluate why the people or things are so important for you and express your gratitude for having them in your life. This should not take you long to do each day and will improve your habit of looking for things to be grateful for.

Take a long look at yourself

Being grateful for the qualities that you possess is a powerful way to cultivate your gratitude and increase your self-esteem. Think about what you have achieved recently and the challenges that you’ve had to overcome. You can think back to your past for some good examples of this as well.

You can look beyond the things that you have achieved as well. What other traits do you possess that you are proud of? Are you compassionate and kind to others? Do you have good empathy skills? Are you dependable and loyal toward your partner, your family, and your friends? There are always lots of things that you can come up with about yourself.

What do you take for granted?

When people are starting on their attitude of gratitude journey, they will usually think about the bigger things in their life to be grateful for but please don’t limit yourself to this. The little things in your life are often more important to you.

Just open your eyes and look around you. If you are at home, then notice the wonderful things that surround you to make your life beautiful, easier, and more enjoyable. Take a walk outside and look at the beauty of nature as well.

Have a morning and evening ritual

It is easy to forget about expressing your gratitude in modern life. So, if you want to have plenty to be grateful for, you should create a new routine where you will think about things to be grateful for in the morning when you wake up and before you go to bed at night.

Think about 3 things that you can be grateful for at these times. It does not matter if they are big or small things. In the morning it could be the simple fact that you are grateful for a new day ahead while in the evening it can be that you accomplished your goals. Write down the 3 things in the morning and evening in a gratitude journal so that you can reflect on these later.

My final thought

I have noticed that some people feel like everyone else has things to be grateful for while they have little or nothing for which to be grateful. They take for granted their good health rather than expressing thanks for it. It is this attitude that prevents them from having more. Simply put, when you express gratitude for what you have you will receive more to be grateful for.

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An Opportunity To Push Back At Accepted Wisdom

Why is it so darned wrong to stay in our comfort zone?

Okay. So, I’m shamelessly going to take this opportunity to weigh in on a piece of accepted wisdom that, I don’t know about you, but I get so blasted tired of hearing from people. “You need to get out of your comfort zone,” is shouted at us everywhere.

Why do we stay in our comfort zone? Because our comfort zone is the stress-free zone (this is what I call my home) we are used to. It’s what’s familiar. It’s also the place where we are told we find the most dissatisfaction with our life.

Reliance on your comfort zone

But isn’t it also the place where our valuable routines live? How many of us depend on a morning and an evening routine? Not to mention the mundane but necessary chores of a busy household. Knowing whose turn, it is to feed and walk the dog, removes stress from everyone including the dog.

The same thing goes for our working life. Our workflows, planners, and calendars are comforting. They give us a path to follow, without which, we would waste a lot of valuable time that could be used to tackle additional or more creative projects.  

We are told, when we stay in our comfort zone, we force ourselves to remain stagnant. We’re afraid to change out of fear of facing the unknown. Not always, sometimes we are just catching our breath. Sometimes a calm face shown to the world is advantageous before you bring on the next big thing.

“Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.”

— Napoleon Hill

Recognizing when it’s time for a change  

Staying too long in a comfort zone that no longer serves you can be problematic as well. Especially if you don’t, won’t or can’t recognize that it’s time to change.

These 8 reasons are good possibilities if you want to change your comfort zone.

1.    You’re not reaching your goal. Stay in your comfort zone too long, and you are less likely to follow through on reaching your goal. Your fear, procrastination, or any other excuse you use keeps you from acting on your goal.

2.    Absence of growth. Rigidly remaining in your comfort zone will likely keep you from growing into more than you are right now. You’ll always be stuck, never moving forward and never growing and changing. You may end up not reaching your goals because you’re stuck doing things the way you’ve always done them, even though you don’t see any results. You never step out of your comfort zone to explore what you’re capable of doing or what you could accomplish.

3.    Lost or no passion. Staying in your comfort zone makes it hard for you to discover your passion. Your passion can only be found out of your comfort zone.

4.    You may feel left behind. If you stay in your comfort zone you could feel like you are being left behind by your colleagues and others you relate to. They might have been behind you in terms of your life or career at one time, but because they stepped away from their comfort zone, they have passed you by.

5.    Settling for less. By continuing to live in your comfort zone, you allow yourself to settle for less than you deserve. You put the things you love aside believing you don’t need them or deserve them.

6.    What self-confidence you have may lag. If you don’t move out of your comfort zone, you aren’t building the confidence you need to expand your growth and undertake new challenges.

7.    Your health can suffer. Sometimes when you are not getting out of your comfort zone you might also be neglecting your health. It can be from fear of visiting the doctor, not wanting to alter your routines, avoidance of going to the gym for some reason such as being looked at or trying something different.

8.    You simply hate changes. You are unbending and set in your ways. Your comfort zone is exactly that. Life can be tough enough, throwing all kinds of things at you. Things can happen that will pull you out of your comfort zone even if you don’t want them to. But remaining in your comfort zone keeps you from being open to new possibilities.

My final thoughts

I believe we have many reasons why we stay in any given comfort zone. Most are beneficial and work for us if we have crafted them with care for our own needs. The trick is knowing when that is no longer the case and letting it go so you can develop a new zone of comfort. Staying in your zone may feel comfortable but it’s unfair to limit yourself or to settle for what is merely adequate.

At the time of this post, most of us are in sheltering mode due to the Corona Virus. Our comfort zone is our refuge. Allow yourself changes to accommodate a new normal. Our homes should feel like havens not, prisons.

 I hope you have enjoyed this post. If so, please leave me a comment.