Live Your Life Outside The Box

Do you live in a box? Many people are living in a box, not of their own making. The box is a set of guidelines for us to live by, and it has rules meant to keep us safe from the “bad” things in life. So, who made the rules and why does the box feel so confining?

Let me begin by tackling the rules. No one person ever makes up “the rules” and they are always evolving. As to the box well, some people are comfortable in the box they were given. Some people, myself included, prefer a roomier box of their own making. While other people just can’t breathe in a box.

What does life outside the box mean?

Ask a hundred people, and you’ll likely get many different answers to the meaning of life outside the box. The phrase "outside the box" can refer to thinking outside conventional wisdom or challenging the status quo of society's mold. Some people believe it means rejecting materialism and embracing a more minimalist lifestyle.

Some use the phrase "outside the box" to illustrate the radical change they intend to make in their lifestyle. They may see this as leaving their comfort zone, taking risks, and doing something different, even if it’s scary.

Challenge the status quo.

A recent article stated that you need to experience three things to feel fulfilled.

1. You must be doing something which challenges you.

2. You must feel interested in the things you do.

3. There needs to be some reward for doing these things.

The problem is most people don't experience all three of these at the same time. When you get stuck in the status quo, you frequently feel you are no longer being challenged. Things aren’t all that interesting, they're not exciting, and they certainly don’t capture your imagination. Even if there is a reward in the form of a paycheck or a stable relationship, losing the other two items does not make up for this.

It's time to challenge the status quo. How? Follow these five steps.

Stop doing what everyone else does.

Sure, everyone else might be happy doing a certain thing, but this doesn't mean that you are. People have all kinds of jobs. They're involved in all types of activities. Not all of these will feel right for you. By focusing less on what everyone else is doing and more on what you want to do, you will feel much happier.

Quit hiding your light.

Be more visible. Be more vocal. Seriously, are you happy playing it safe? Wouldn’t you rather take a chance on being seen for who you are, in all your splendid, eccentric glory? The lovely thing about letting go of the idea of fitting in is you are no longer pigeonholed as a follower. It's a lot more fun being the innovator anyway.

Cease believing happiness can be purchased.

When you're unhappy, you begin buying yourself stuff, believing this will somehow make up for it. The harsh truth? All the new clothes, fancy cars, and exotic vacations in the world are never going to make you feel any more fulfilled. Spending each day of your career doing what you hate to get ahead is always going to be a soul-suck.

Stop doubting yourself.

You don't need everyone else to tell you what the right thing to do is or how to do it. You already have strong instincts. Do what feels honest to you. Honor your moral code. Behave with integrity, and you'll find you're a lot happier for it.

Don’t ignore your chances.

Playing it safe can be one of the most important ways we lock ourselves into the status quo. Unfortunately, this is one of the ways used to keep from bettering yourself. If you want your life to change, you must stifle the urge to play it safe and grab hold of the chance you get to do something different.

Together these five items become a mighty force for change. Dedicate yourself to living life outside the box. Explore your dreams and embrace the person you are inside. Find challenge and passion, and you'll have a fulfilling life.

Live a meaningful life outside societal expectations.

 For years, the word 'countercultural' seemed to be a dirty word. Now it's become the buzzword of today's youth. No one wants to conform. Why should they? While there's much to be said for living as an individual, the path is neither smooth nor easy.

But if you’re wondering how, then keep reading.

Acknowledge there's more to life.

If you're dissatisfied, you've probably already reached this conclusion. Having a healthy bank account is an awesome goal. So is searching for the perfect relationship. But there's much more you can get from life than this. You want to make a difference in people’s lives. You want to realize your dreams. You want to help make the world a better place. In this step, you must realize that life can most definitely be more fulfilling if you live your way.

Block out negativity.

From childhood on, you are pressured to conform. The message is everywhere in the media. You’re encouraged to grow up, go to college, get a good job, buy a house, have a family, and do all the other things as if they're on a checklist waiting to be checked off. You don't need this. Take a different approach to social media. Turn off unnecessary notifications. Tune out, well-meaning friends. Don’t allow yourself to be forced into someone else’s box.

What do you want?

Listen to your inner voice. In the silence you have created, take time for meditation or to discover mindfulness in other ways. Ask yourself these questions:  What do you want to accomplish in your life? What is your passion? How can you make a difference? Spend as much time as needed until you have your answers. Don’t rush them, remember this is your life.

Act on your thoughts. 

None of this will ever do you any good unless you act. Consider the answers you received in the silence. What is the logical progression of tasks needed to turn these into reachable goals? Write them down. Put them in your planner, or on a calendar. Set yourself on the journey and throw yourself into it with your whole heart. Dream, discover, explore. Afraid you might trip and fall? Of course, you will. It is a normal part of life. When this happens, look for the lesson to be learned and move on. Do not let anything or anyone stop you. You are the architect of your life.

My final thoughts.

Living life on your terms is a wonderful feeling. It won’t always be simple or easy, but the benefits outweigh the difficulties. Be patient with yourself. Living outside the box can be a great way to discover what you’re capable of.

For additional information, read this post. 

Living Outside Of The Box And How To Know If You Are!

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Try Something New In Your Life

Gram’s Wisdom 39

Are you still growing? You don’t need to be at retirement age, to try something new. It could be you just want to make a change. What does it mean to try something new? For some, it may mean learning a new sport. For others, it could be trying new food. Whatever it means to you, the principle is the same for everyone: trying new things expands your world, opening your eyes, and heart to new possibilities, and that’s a great thing.

I spent a lot of time inside my head as a child. So, Gram would say “you’re more capable than you think, but you’ll never know it if you don’t try something new”. She was right, as usual.  You see, once you begin trying new things, you’ll uncover new things about yourself that you never knew before. You may have a hidden talent or a secret interest that can be transformed into something big.

My Gram believed expanding your world to be the single most overarching benefit of trying new things. She was good at combining a growth mindset (my term not hers) with travel and an intense interest in people to touch the lives of others. But since the years when Gram was teaching me to stretch, not stagnate myself, I have found other things to combine with growth that has benefits.

Growth comes from discomfort and loss of control.

When you step out of your comfort zone and into the wilderness of the unknown, a crazy thing happens. You learn and grow as an individual. It may not always be easy or comfortable, but it undoubtedly expands your mind and makes you aware of the possibilities life has to offer.

It’s a dichotomy because, in some respects, you lose control. Trying something new puts you in a vulnerable place—you’re not always sure what will happen, and you’re not 100% in control of the situation. But at the same time, losing control teaches you how to have control over the things you CAN control.

Ditch the excuses, raise the level of your courage.

In the past, you may have said something like, “No, I’ll try that next year,” regarding something new. An excuse can be an easy way out. It’s a coping mechanism, and it’s a sign of weakness. Courage is defined as the ability to do something that frightens you. Chances are, you may be a little frightened by the idea of trying something new – and that’s perfectly okay! But as you begin to try more new things, you’ll feel less inclined to make up excuses. It will boost your courage and stoke you with the confidence you need to tackle new things in the future.

Boredom can be your enemy.

Most people don’t like to be bored. You may enjoy quiet time or relaxation breaks, but being bored is a different story. The good news is it’s hard to be bored when you’re always mixing up your life with new adventures and events. The next time you feel a twinge of tedium tugging at you, try something new instead of endlessly scrolling on your phone. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll get rid of the dull feeling!

It's exciting to find you like something new. It’s even better when you become skilled at it. Once you conquer one new thing, it feels like you can take on the world. You may begin with something small, like learning how to paint, and the next thing you know, you’ll be trying to learn a new instrument and master a new language.

Take your time when trying something new.

Trying something new doesn’t mean a quick experiment and washing your hands of the adventure right afterward. Trying something new is a whole adventure, and it should be enjoyed not rushed. Some things are hit or miss. You may not love everything you try, but you’ll undoubtedly find some activities, people, or interests that you never knew you could appreciate.

The next time someone invites you to do something a little different, you may want to consider saying yes. Trying something new teaches you that it’s been done before by others. You’re not alone in this adventure and the worst-case scenario is that you learn you don’t like it – and that’s not so bad, is it? So, go for it! Try it out and see what you can learn about yourself. You can always reach out to others for support and help in your venture.

There are opportunities to serve others in the new.

So, you try something, and you fall on your face – the bright side is that you earn a sense of humility. Pick yourself up and try again. Putting yourself out there takes guts and makes it that much better when you hit the bullseye. Sure, there will be failures, but it’s worth it to be able to celebrate your big wins. Make the most of your accomplishments.

People are vetted on their abilities to handle life and create exciting experiences for themselves. You can be that person. You can serve as a role model for new growth and opportunities for someone else, put yourself out there, and show them how it’s done!

Try something new = learn something new. Until you try, you won’t know how many opportunities there are.

Seven common things to add to your life.

When you’re ready to embark on a quest to find new, things here are some things to try.

1.  Blogging

Writing may not be your thing, but everyone has a story to tell, and people love stories. In your spare time, try out a blog to document what’s going on in your life. You can make it specific to your interests or your career, or you could keep it wide open for whatever thoughts dance through your mind.

2.  Cooking

Cooking gets a bad rap for being time-consuming, messy, and demanding. We may not all be a wizard in the kitchen, but every once in a while, it’s fun to create a big meal for yourself (or your friends and family). If this doesn’t sound appealing to you, then how about learning some kitchen shortcuts.

3.  Dance Lessons

It’s always a good idea to get your body moving when you can, and it’s an even better idea to move your body to music! When you’re itching to do something new, try out a new form of dance. It’s creative and active at the same time – win-win!

4.  Gardening

The best part about having your own garden is eating the food. Pair that with your cooking endeavor, and you’re set! The only caveat to gardening is that you must have enough space for one. But if you do, it’s well worth it to start growing your fruits, veggies, and herbs. Exercise, fresh air, and a chance to be in touch with mother nature make gardening into a pot of gold.

5.  Hiking

Depending on where you live, you may have forests nearby or mountains may be fully accessible to you. If that’s the case, you should take advantage of it by going on hikes regularly. It gets your blood pumping and gives you all kinds of beautiful sights to see. Hike alone or with some friends.

6.  Learn a New Language

Spare time should never become wasted time. You know that language you were always dying to learn? Seize extra time as the perfect opportunity to begin practicing. You’ll become multilingual before you know it!

7.  Meditation

At first glance, meditation may seem like the opposite of exciting. It’s calm, soothing, and super quiet. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be exciting, too! Meditation is an art and a historically backed practice. Many meditation websites have simple beginner meditations. Begin by trying one out for five minutes a day and see how you like it.

My final thought

What comes to mind when someone tells you to try something new? Are you eager to jump in and try it out, or are you afraid of possible unfavorable outcomes? See, most people get scared away by the thought of trying something they’ve never tried before. So, before you throw the idea away out of hand, spend a few moments considering what you could gain if you give it a try.

For more information, check out these posts.

Keep Trying New Things - No Matter What

An Opportunity To Push Back At Accepted Wisdom

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An Opportunity To Push Back At Accepted Wisdom

Why is it so darned wrong to stay in our comfort zone?

Okay. So, I’m shamelessly going to take this opportunity to weigh in on a piece of accepted wisdom that, I don’t know about you, but I get so blasted tired of hearing from people. “You need to get out of your comfort zone,” is shouted at us everywhere.

Why do we stay in our comfort zone? Because our comfort zone is the stress-free zone (this is what I call my home) we are used to. It’s what’s familiar. It’s also the place where we are told we find the most dissatisfaction with our life.

Reliance on your comfort zone

But isn’t it also the place where our valuable routines live? How many of us depend on a morning and an evening routine? Not to mention the mundane but necessary chores of a busy household. Knowing whose turn, it is to feed and walk the dog, removes stress from everyone including the dog.

The same thing goes for our working life. Our workflows, planners, and calendars are comforting. They give us a path to follow, without which, we would waste a lot of valuable time that could be used to tackle additional or more creative projects.  

We are told, when we stay in our comfort zone, we force ourselves to remain stagnant. We’re afraid to change out of fear of facing the unknown. Not always, sometimes we are just catching our breath. Sometimes a calm face shown to the world is advantageous before you bring on the next big thing.

“Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.”

— Napoleon Hill

Recognizing when it’s time for a change  

Staying too long in a comfort zone that no longer serves you can be problematic as well. Especially if you don’t, won’t or can’t recognize that it’s time to change.

These 8 reasons are good possibilities if you want to change your comfort zone.

1.    You’re not reaching your goal. Stay in your comfort zone too long, and you are less likely to follow through on reaching your goal. Your fear, procrastination, or any other excuse you use keeps you from acting on your goal.

2.    Absence of growth. Rigidly remaining in your comfort zone will likely keep you from growing into more than you are right now. You’ll always be stuck, never moving forward and never growing and changing. You may end up not reaching your goals because you’re stuck doing things the way you’ve always done them, even though you don’t see any results. You never step out of your comfort zone to explore what you’re capable of doing or what you could accomplish.

3.    Lost or no passion. Staying in your comfort zone makes it hard for you to discover your passion. Your passion can only be found out of your comfort zone.

4.    You may feel left behind. If you stay in your comfort zone you could feel like you are being left behind by your colleagues and others you relate to. They might have been behind you in terms of your life or career at one time, but because they stepped away from their comfort zone, they have passed you by.

5.    Settling for less. By continuing to live in your comfort zone, you allow yourself to settle for less than you deserve. You put the things you love aside believing you don’t need them or deserve them.

6.    What self-confidence you have may lag. If you don’t move out of your comfort zone, you aren’t building the confidence you need to expand your growth and undertake new challenges.

7.    Your health can suffer. Sometimes when you are not getting out of your comfort zone you might also be neglecting your health. It can be from fear of visiting the doctor, not wanting to alter your routines, avoidance of going to the gym for some reason such as being looked at or trying something different.

8.    You simply hate changes. You are unbending and set in your ways. Your comfort zone is exactly that. Life can be tough enough, throwing all kinds of things at you. Things can happen that will pull you out of your comfort zone even if you don’t want them to. But remaining in your comfort zone keeps you from being open to new possibilities.

My final thoughts

I believe we have many reasons why we stay in any given comfort zone. Most are beneficial and work for us if we have crafted them with care for our own needs. The trick is knowing when that is no longer the case and letting it go so you can develop a new zone of comfort. Staying in your zone may feel comfortable but it’s unfair to limit yourself or to settle for what is merely adequate.

At the time of this post, most of us are in sheltering mode due to the Corona Virus. Our comfort zone is our refuge. Allow yourself changes to accommodate a new normal. Our homes should feel like havens not, prisons.

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