9 Best Life Lessons I Learned From Gram

Gram’s Wisdom 56

There is something exceptional about grandmothers. They seem to have a knack for making you feel special. Grandmothers always know how to make their grandchildren smile. They love to laugh and have a good time with them. Grandmothers are also the most loving people, always ready to offer a hug or a listening ear.

Grandmothers have often faced many challenges in their lives, but they have always endured. They are strong and resilient, and they never give up. Despite their strength, grandmothers are also gentle and kind. They have a wealth of experience and wisdom to share, and their words of wisdom can stay with us for a lifetime. 

My Gram’s words have been rattling around in my brain for 60 years. They are the same words I use with my grandson. They are the same words I have been sharing in these Gram’s wisdom posts. She once told me, “How we do things changes, the reasons for doing them never change.”

Here are some life lessons that anyone’s grandmother might have passed on:

Be neat and orderly.

Keeping your home clean, neat, and orderly is timeless advice. A devotion to cleanliness isn’t just about surprise guests popping in; there are many benefits to an organized household. These benefits include less stress, more motivation, and productivity.

• A cluttered and messy home can be a source of stress. A clean and organized home, on the other hand, can provide a sense of calm and order. This can help to reduce stress levels and improve your overall mood.

• When your home is clean and organized, you're more likely to feel motivated to get things done. A cluttered space can be distracting and make it difficult to focus. A clean and organized space, on the other hand, can help you to stay on task and be more productive.

Are you looking for ways to improve your mental and physical health, reduce stress, and boost your productivity? Then keeping your home clean, tidy, and organized is a great place to start. Just begin by decluttering one area at a time and make it your habit of putting things away after you use them. (Remember: trying is more important than perfection.)

Be punctual.

Show others you respect their time by arriving on time. Besides being polite, it allows you to pull yourself together and be ready for the meeting, appointment, or visit.

• When you arrive on time, you show the other person that you value their time and you are reliable. It’s also a demonstration that you are prepared and organized and you can manage your time effectively.

• You build trust with others: When you are always on time, people know they can count on you. This can be especially important in professional settings, where trust is essential.

Being punctual is a skill that takes practice, but it is worth it. Set a reminder to leave ten minutes earlier than you normally would. Arriving on time, or even a little bit early, is a simple way to make a good impression. You also set yourself up for success in both your personal and professional life.

Treat others with consideration.

Be flexible in your interactions with people. Different people might require a slightly different approach. They will appreciate the effort, and you will sharpen your people skills.

• Different people have different communication styles and needs. For example, some people prefer to be direct and to the point, while others prefer a more gentle and indirect approach. It's important to adapt your communication style to the individual you're interacting with.

• Being flexible shows you're interested in the other person. When you take time to understand how they communicate and what they need, it shows you're paying attention and that you care about what they have to say. This can build trust and rapport, which leads to more productive and enjoyable interactions.

Connect with people on a personal level and tailor your message to their needs. This can help you to build strong relationships, be more persuasive, and be successful in your career.

Love yourself.

Everyone has their struggles, but never forget to love yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat a loved one. Avoid negative self-talk and don’t attempt to be someone else. You are your person, and that person is special!

• Self-love is essential for mental and physical health. When you love yourself, you are more likely to take care of your physical and mental health. You are also more likely to make healthy choices, such as eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.

• Self-love is the foundation of healthy relationships. When you love yourself, you are more likely to have healthy relationships with others. You are less likely to be codependent or to attract toxic people into your life.

If happiness and success are what you seek, it is important to love yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Skip the negative self-talk and focus on your strengths and your accomplishments.

Rough times come – but they pass.

Nothing lasts forever. Neither good times nor bad times. So, acknowledge that you will face rough times, but they will not last. Take time to lick your wounds, but eventually, you will need to pick yourself up and move forward. 

• Everyone experiences rough times at some point. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated when you are going through a rough time. Don't try to ignore your emotions; that just makes them worse. Instead, allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, and then let it go.

If you are going through a rough time, remember you are not alone. Don't let it consume you. Just continue taking things one day at a time. Eventually, the tough times will pass, and you will be stronger.

Practice good manners. 

Using good manners doesn’t cost anything and brings harmony to your relationships. Remember to say “Please” and “Thank You” and, in general, be considerate of those around you.

1| Good manners make you more likable.

People are more likely to be drawn to and to like you if you practice good manners. This can be helpful in both your personal and professional life.

2| Good manners are a show of respect:

When you use good manners, you show respect for the other person. This can help to build positive relationships and to create a more harmonious environment.

3| Be considerate of others' feelings and needs.

This means things like holding the door open for someone. Allowing someone to go ahead of you in line. And not talking over someone when they are speaking.

4| Be mindful of your surroundings.

This means things like not talking loudly in public, not littering, and not blocking walkways.

5| Apologize when you make a mistake:

Everyone makes mistakes, but it is important to apologize when you do. This shows that you are aware of your mistake and that you are willing to make amends.

Stand by your convictions.

While you should strive to be pleasant and courteous, it is also important that you stand up for your convictions. Be assertive, not aggressive.

• If someone tries to push you around or make you feel bad about yourself, it is important to set boundaries and stand up for yourself. You can do this by calmly and respectfully explaining that you do not appreciate their behavior. You can also walk away from the situation if necessary.

Offer others the respect that you also deserve. It is important to remember that you are worthy of respect, regardless of what anyone else says. You shouldn’t let anyone make you feel like you are less worthy than they are.

Don’t fear failure. 

Lessons are found in your perceived failures. If you succeed at everything, you risk learning nothing. So go out and fail at something, learn the lesson, and become a better person. You will be more apt to reach your goals, too. 

• When you fail, you can learn from your mistakes. You can identify what went wrong and what you can do differently next time. This can help you to improve your skills and to become more successful.

• Failure can also make you more resilient. When you fail, you learn that you can overcome challenges. This can give you the confidence to try new things and to take risks.

• If you never fail, you will never learn and grow. You will never reach your full potential. So don't be afraid to fail. View it as a window for opportunity.

Failure is not something to be afraid of. It is a natural part of life, and it can be a valuable growth tool.

Cherish your family and friends.

Make family and friends a priority. A strong social circle gives you a firm foundation for success. In bad times and good, these are the people you will turn to. Make sure to foster powerful relationships, by ‘giving’ as much as you ‘take’.

• Family and friends can help you to achieve your goals. They can offer you advice, guidance, and motivation. They can also help you to stay accountable and to avoid giving up on your dreams.

• Family and friends make life more enjoyable. They are the people who you can share your joys and sorrows with. They are the people who you can laugh with and cry with. They make life more meaningful and more fun.

• Call a close relative. Have dinner with them and show them that you cherish that relationship.

If you want to be happy, healthy, and successful, make family and friends a priority. Make time for them and listen to them. Be generous to them and forgive them. And be there for them, and they will be there for you when you need them the most.

My final thoughts are.

The above bits of wisdom are simple maxims as true today as they ever were. They are meant to help us behave well and to get along with others. I have only one thing to add and that is be kind.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

For more information, check out these posts.

9 Pieces Of Life Advice From Your Grandma That You Should Actually Listen To.

Little Kindnesses Create Big Impacts.

An Opportunity To Push Back At Accepted Wisdom

Why is it so darned wrong to stay in our comfort zone?

Okay. So, I’m shamelessly going to take this opportunity to weigh in on a piece of accepted wisdom that, I don’t know about you, but I get so blasted tired of hearing from people. “You need to get out of your comfort zone,” is shouted at us everywhere.

Why do we stay in our comfort zone? Because our comfort zone is the stress-free zone (this is what I call my home) we are used to. It’s what’s familiar. It’s also the place where we are told we find the most dissatisfaction with our life.

Reliance on your comfort zone

But isn’t it also the place where our valuable routines live? How many of us depend on a morning and an evening routine? Not to mention the mundane but necessary chores of a busy household. Knowing whose turn, it is to feed and walk the dog, removes stress from everyone including the dog.

The same thing goes for our working life. Our workflows, planners, and calendars are comforting. They give us a path to follow, without which, we would waste a lot of valuable time that could be used to tackle additional or more creative projects.  

We are told, when we stay in our comfort zone, we force ourselves to remain stagnant. We’re afraid to change out of fear of facing the unknown. Not always, sometimes we are just catching our breath. Sometimes a calm face shown to the world is advantageous before you bring on the next big thing.

“Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.”

— Napoleon Hill

Recognizing when it’s time for a change  

Staying too long in a comfort zone that no longer serves you can be problematic as well. Especially if you don’t, won’t or can’t recognize that it’s time to change.

These 8 reasons are good possibilities if you want to change your comfort zone.

1.    You’re not reaching your goal. Stay in your comfort zone too long, and you are less likely to follow through on reaching your goal. Your fear, procrastination, or any other excuse you use keeps you from acting on your goal.

2.    Absence of growth. Rigidly remaining in your comfort zone will likely keep you from growing into more than you are right now. You’ll always be stuck, never moving forward and never growing and changing. You may end up not reaching your goals because you’re stuck doing things the way you’ve always done them, even though you don’t see any results. You never step out of your comfort zone to explore what you’re capable of doing or what you could accomplish.

3.    Lost or no passion. Staying in your comfort zone makes it hard for you to discover your passion. Your passion can only be found out of your comfort zone.

4.    You may feel left behind. If you stay in your comfort zone you could feel like you are being left behind by your colleagues and others you relate to. They might have been behind you in terms of your life or career at one time, but because they stepped away from their comfort zone, they have passed you by.

5.    Settling for less. By continuing to live in your comfort zone, you allow yourself to settle for less than you deserve. You put the things you love aside believing you don’t need them or deserve them.

6.    What self-confidence you have may lag. If you don’t move out of your comfort zone, you aren’t building the confidence you need to expand your growth and undertake new challenges.

7.    Your health can suffer. Sometimes when you are not getting out of your comfort zone you might also be neglecting your health. It can be from fear of visiting the doctor, not wanting to alter your routines, avoidance of going to the gym for some reason such as being looked at or trying something different.

8.    You simply hate changes. You are unbending and set in your ways. Your comfort zone is exactly that. Life can be tough enough, throwing all kinds of things at you. Things can happen that will pull you out of your comfort zone even if you don’t want them to. But remaining in your comfort zone keeps you from being open to new possibilities.

My final thoughts

I believe we have many reasons why we stay in any given comfort zone. Most are beneficial and work for us if we have crafted them with care for our own needs. The trick is knowing when that is no longer the case and letting it go so you can develop a new zone of comfort. Staying in your zone may feel comfortable but it’s unfair to limit yourself or to settle for what is merely adequate.

At the time of this post, most of us are in sheltering mode due to the Corona Virus. Our comfort zone is our refuge. Allow yourself changes to accommodate a new normal. Our homes should feel like havens not, prisons.

 I hope you have enjoyed this post. If so, please leave me a comment.

Further Lessons Learned From Titanic

Gram’s Wisdom 4

You may recall the post I did a year ago Lessons I Learned From Titanic if not check it out. The reason I have for revisiting this is that there were additional lessons I had learned from Titanic that I wanted to share. It seems only right that as it was Gram taking the 5 year old Joyce to see “The Unsinkable Molly Brown” thereby setting my feet on the path of all things Titanic, that these lessons be included in a Gram’s Wisdom post.

So, on this 107th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, in no order, and because they are still relevant today, are more lessons I learned from Titanic.

Titanic Museum Belfast, Ireland

Share your gifts

You owe it to yourself to share your talent, your skill, or whatever unique gift that you possess with others. When you do it’s a win-win for everyone. What you create be it art, a welcoming home, or handcrafted goods from your garage serves not only to enrich your own life but the lives of those who have heard about or seen what it is you have created. Now the real magic of this is in the ripple effect of those whom you touched with your gift. These people seeing your example, feel themselves empowered to share with others their own special gifts.

The Band on Titanic shared their talent with their fellow passengers throughout the voyage. Their gift provided a sense of calm on a night when it was sorely needed. Though their last tune is still disputed by all accounts it’s agreed that they played until the very end.

Go above and beyond

Going above is taking that extra step whatever it might be. Yet, a lot of people will only do so if it’s easy or convenient to do at the time, or if they can’t say no and feel guilted into doing it for some reason. While to go beyond is to do the thing no one else does or wants to do except on rare occasions or in times of dire emergency, because they are usually dirty, ugly, or frightening to perform.

The stokers, and engineering crew of Titanic remained at their posts keeping the electricity so vital to the pumps, the elevators, the lights, and the all-important telegraph working as long as possible. Their selfless sacrifice allowed more passengers to safely depart the ship than would have otherwise been possible.

Community

While Titanic carried what was considered a microcosm of western society on her maiden voyage there wasn’t the kind of structure that we would recognize as being community. Instead community at this time still meant those who lived near you, where you received your education, your class of people, your religious affiliation, and the kind of work you performed. So little interaction between people not part of “your” community took place.

Much would begin to change this night when mostly women and children from all walks of life would climb into lifeboats together with just one thought in mind, survival. The dissolution of class and clique over the next few years may have come as a surprise to many people. Though not to these survivors who had shared a sense of community for ten cold wet hours with others who would forever have more in common with them than anyone else.

Never stop innovating

Life isn’t meant to be set in stone with one set of perfect plans that leave you no room to alter or change your course. We don’t live in a vacuum that allows for that. Instead every choice made, every right or left turn, carries you nearer to or farther from your plan. But whether your plan is for what you do or who you are, there is always room for improvement. This doesn’t mean you should be in a constant chase for perfection which is exhausting and impossible. Yet, sit on your laurels, after doing something once and see how quickly your ideas become old hat and you become redundant as you fall behind the pack that is innovating.

Thomas Andrews, Titanic’s architect knew this as well as anyone. The tweaks to Olympic became reality on her sister ship Titanic. So, just as he had previously, he now set sail on Titanic’s maiden voyage to make any additional changes or refinements that he felt would be an improvement to her design, function, and comfort.

My book recommendation this year is Titanic and Her Sisters Olympic and Britannic. The authors are Tom McCluskie, Michael Sharpe, and Leo Marriott. It is a coffee table book with photos on every page and enough information about the three ships to make anyone who reads it feel knowledgeable about the construction and careers of the ships.

Please share this post with your crazy Titanic loving friends.

Do You Feel Your Gratitude?

Gram’s Wisdom Installment 2

My Gram left me after more than a hundred years of living, with an abundance of wisdom and advice. The kind of wisdom all grandmothers want to share if they are blessed with the time and opportunity to do so. Much of this may be known to you, some things you might have forgotten. I hope these bits of homey wisdom spark either memories from your youth or better yet conversations with your own grandchildren.

What are you feeling grateful for today?

I spent many weekends with my grandparents as a child and continued to live nearby as I became an adult. When we would meet Gram would always tell me what she felt grateful for that day. She would say she woke up that morning feeling gratefulness for… or that during the course of the day something occurred for which she felt gratitude. She always displayed her appreciation and gratitude for the good people and things that were a part of her life.

What a difference a little gratitude makes

Gratitude simplified is appreciating the good things in your life. When you are focused on what is good in your life you have less time to dwell on the bad. It doesn’t always seem this simple, though. When things are hectic or stressful, finding the silver lining can be challenging. However, learning how to express gratitude can significantly boost your happiness.  

About gratitude

There are many definitions of gratitude. Some people believe it’s a feeling or emotion. Others look at it as more of a mood. Still, other people believe gratitude is a personality trait a person exhibits. These are all correct. In essence, gratitude elicits satisfaction and appreciation in a person through feelings, actions or even inherent qualities. However, even those of us who may be more inclined to feel grateful on a regular basis may need to work on evoking such an outlook. Gratitude can be viewed as a practice or something you perform regularly. Most people practice something because it benefits them. This is true of gratitude. As with other practices, you’ll get better at demonstrating gratitude the more you work at it.

Benefits of embracing gratitude

There are many benefits of gratitude; many of them have been scientifically proven. Once you begin to understand these, chances are good that you’ll see why it’s so important to develop a grateful mindset. Gratitude can have a positive effect on both physical and mental health. Research has shown it improves relaxation, sleep quality and energy levels. Being thankful for your blessings can enhance your emotional wellness. You’ll deal better in crisis situations and find you’re more resilient when you’re able to look on the bright side. This can contribute to better relationships, too. Appreciating the positives in life can simply make you feel happier.

“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.” -Doris Day

Ways to practice gratitude

Recognizing your blessings may not come easily at first, but there are some ways to help make it a habit and a regular part of your routine. One of the most convenient and impactful methods for cultivating appreciation is through keeping a gratitude journal. Write down three things each day that you’re grateful for, which makes it easier to notice and recognize those good things. Making an effort to thank someone each day, for even the smallest thing, opens your eyes and heart to abundance. Giving back and doing good for others can provide tremendous perspective, as well.

Embracing and expressing gratitude are more important than many of us realize. So, what do you feel grateful for today?

I would be grateful if you share this post with someone who will find it beneficial.