9 Best Life Lessons I Learned From Gram

Gram’s Wisdom 56

There is something exceptional about grandmothers. They seem to have a knack for making you feel special. Grandmothers always know how to make their grandchildren smile. They love to laugh and have a good time with them. Grandmothers are also the most loving people, always ready to offer a hug or a listening ear.

Grandmothers have often faced many challenges in their lives, but they have always endured. They are strong and resilient, and they never give up. Despite their strength, grandmothers are also gentle and kind. They have a wealth of experience and wisdom to share, and their words of wisdom can stay with us for a lifetime. 

My Gram’s words have been rattling around in my brain for 60 years. They are the same words I use with my grandson. They are the same words I have been sharing in these Gram’s wisdom posts. She once told me, “How we do things changes, the reasons for doing them never change.”

Here are some life lessons that anyone’s grandmother might have passed on:

Be neat and orderly.

Keeping your home clean, neat, and orderly is timeless advice. A devotion to cleanliness isn’t just about surprise guests popping in; there are many benefits to an organized household. These benefits include less stress, more motivation, and productivity.

• A cluttered and messy home can be a source of stress. A clean and organized home, on the other hand, can provide a sense of calm and order. This can help to reduce stress levels and improve your overall mood.

• When your home is clean and organized, you're more likely to feel motivated to get things done. A cluttered space can be distracting and make it difficult to focus. A clean and organized space, on the other hand, can help you to stay on task and be more productive.

Are you looking for ways to improve your mental and physical health, reduce stress, and boost your productivity? Then keeping your home clean, tidy, and organized is a great place to start. Just begin by decluttering one area at a time and make it your habit of putting things away after you use them. (Remember: trying is more important than perfection.)

Be punctual.

Show others you respect their time by arriving on time. Besides being polite, it allows you to pull yourself together and be ready for the meeting, appointment, or visit.

• When you arrive on time, you show the other person that you value their time and you are reliable. It’s also a demonstration that you are prepared and organized and you can manage your time effectively.

• You build trust with others: When you are always on time, people know they can count on you. This can be especially important in professional settings, where trust is essential.

Being punctual is a skill that takes practice, but it is worth it. Set a reminder to leave ten minutes earlier than you normally would. Arriving on time, or even a little bit early, is a simple way to make a good impression. You also set yourself up for success in both your personal and professional life.

Treat others with consideration.

Be flexible in your interactions with people. Different people might require a slightly different approach. They will appreciate the effort, and you will sharpen your people skills.

• Different people have different communication styles and needs. For example, some people prefer to be direct and to the point, while others prefer a more gentle and indirect approach. It's important to adapt your communication style to the individual you're interacting with.

• Being flexible shows you're interested in the other person. When you take time to understand how they communicate and what they need, it shows you're paying attention and that you care about what they have to say. This can build trust and rapport, which leads to more productive and enjoyable interactions.

Connect with people on a personal level and tailor your message to their needs. This can help you to build strong relationships, be more persuasive, and be successful in your career.

Love yourself.

Everyone has their struggles, but never forget to love yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat a loved one. Avoid negative self-talk and don’t attempt to be someone else. You are your person, and that person is special!

• Self-love is essential for mental and physical health. When you love yourself, you are more likely to take care of your physical and mental health. You are also more likely to make healthy choices, such as eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.

• Self-love is the foundation of healthy relationships. When you love yourself, you are more likely to have healthy relationships with others. You are less likely to be codependent or to attract toxic people into your life.

If happiness and success are what you seek, it is important to love yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Skip the negative self-talk and focus on your strengths and your accomplishments.

Rough times come – but they pass.

Nothing lasts forever. Neither good times nor bad times. So, acknowledge that you will face rough times, but they will not last. Take time to lick your wounds, but eventually, you will need to pick yourself up and move forward. 

• Everyone experiences rough times at some point. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated when you are going through a rough time. Don't try to ignore your emotions; that just makes them worse. Instead, allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, and then let it go.

If you are going through a rough time, remember you are not alone. Don't let it consume you. Just continue taking things one day at a time. Eventually, the tough times will pass, and you will be stronger.

Practice good manners. 

Using good manners doesn’t cost anything and brings harmony to your relationships. Remember to say “Please” and “Thank You” and, in general, be considerate of those around you.

1| Good manners make you more likable.

People are more likely to be drawn to and to like you if you practice good manners. This can be helpful in both your personal and professional life.

2| Good manners are a show of respect:

When you use good manners, you show respect for the other person. This can help to build positive relationships and to create a more harmonious environment.

3| Be considerate of others' feelings and needs.

This means things like holding the door open for someone. Allowing someone to go ahead of you in line. And not talking over someone when they are speaking.

4| Be mindful of your surroundings.

This means things like not talking loudly in public, not littering, and not blocking walkways.

5| Apologize when you make a mistake:

Everyone makes mistakes, but it is important to apologize when you do. This shows that you are aware of your mistake and that you are willing to make amends.

Stand by your convictions.

While you should strive to be pleasant and courteous, it is also important that you stand up for your convictions. Be assertive, not aggressive.

• If someone tries to push you around or make you feel bad about yourself, it is important to set boundaries and stand up for yourself. You can do this by calmly and respectfully explaining that you do not appreciate their behavior. You can also walk away from the situation if necessary.

Offer others the respect that you also deserve. It is important to remember that you are worthy of respect, regardless of what anyone else says. You shouldn’t let anyone make you feel like you are less worthy than they are.

Don’t fear failure. 

Lessons are found in your perceived failures. If you succeed at everything, you risk learning nothing. So go out and fail at something, learn the lesson, and become a better person. You will be more apt to reach your goals, too. 

• When you fail, you can learn from your mistakes. You can identify what went wrong and what you can do differently next time. This can help you to improve your skills and to become more successful.

• Failure can also make you more resilient. When you fail, you learn that you can overcome challenges. This can give you the confidence to try new things and to take risks.

• If you never fail, you will never learn and grow. You will never reach your full potential. So don't be afraid to fail. View it as a window for opportunity.

Failure is not something to be afraid of. It is a natural part of life, and it can be a valuable growth tool.

Cherish your family and friends.

Make family and friends a priority. A strong social circle gives you a firm foundation for success. In bad times and good, these are the people you will turn to. Make sure to foster powerful relationships, by ‘giving’ as much as you ‘take’.

• Family and friends can help you to achieve your goals. They can offer you advice, guidance, and motivation. They can also help you to stay accountable and to avoid giving up on your dreams.

• Family and friends make life more enjoyable. They are the people who you can share your joys and sorrows with. They are the people who you can laugh with and cry with. They make life more meaningful and more fun.

• Call a close relative. Have dinner with them and show them that you cherish that relationship.

If you want to be happy, healthy, and successful, make family and friends a priority. Make time for them and listen to them. Be generous to them and forgive them. And be there for them, and they will be there for you when you need them the most.

My final thoughts are.

The above bits of wisdom are simple maxims as true today as they ever were. They are meant to help us behave well and to get along with others. I have only one thing to add and that is be kind.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

For more information, check out these posts.

9 Pieces Of Life Advice From Your Grandma That You Should Actually Listen To.

Little Kindnesses Create Big Impacts.

Wellness And Its Connection To A Positive Mindset

Gram’s Wisdom 44: Positivity and wellness.

When you feel well it’s a positive feeling. Positive thinking can make you feel better at the moment, but can it make you feel better overall?

My Gram certainly thought so. Gram understood the direct connections between exercise and a balanced diet on your physical wellness, she didn’t see positivity as a substitute for taking care of yourself. But she felt there was a definite link between positivity and your physical and mental wellness.

She often reminded me as I grew up, that my well-being was in my control. To feel well, tell yourself that you do. To be well, do the positive things that contribute to health and wellness.

Don’t beat yourself up.

Usually, stress is thought of as coming from external factors like work, traffic, or family friction, beyond your control. But a surprising amount of stress in life comes from within.

When a difficult situation arises, or even if you anticipate a difficult situation, some of you tend to criticize yourselves and begin imagining the things that could go wrong.

While it is important to understand the possible downsides of a situation, if you spend too much time thinking about the dangers of a situation or how we may be unprepared to deal with them, it can drastically increase the levels of unhealthy stress that can come from a situation. This stress not only makes it harder for you to think straight and control the situation, but too much stress over a long period contributes to health problems including weight gain and heart disease.

The next time that you begin to worry about a situation, look at it from a viewpoint of finding ways to make the situation favorable rather than thinking about how the situation could get worse. This small example of positive thinking will lower your stress levels, making you feel more comfortable and helping you to maintain control over the situation.

Positivity and other coping mechanisms.

Stressing about negative situations does more than prevent you from solving the problem at hand, it can also make problems worse and even create further difficulties.

If you are stressed or otherwise upset about something, it can be easy to slip into making unhealthy choices, whether that’s turning to comfort food or drugs. Even legal ones like tobacco and alcohol can quickly harm your health.

Thinking optimistically protects your health from the main effects of stress as well as these additional problems that can come on when you are drawn to manage your stress in unhealthy ways.

A positive mindset bolsters your health.

It was already discussed above that excessive anxiety over too long a period can be bad for the heart. This can be partially due to those secondary concerns mentioned in that last paragraph, like a diet. However, it can also be due to stress itself.

Stress is a complicated phenomenon in the body, involving a lot of chemicals being created and released into your blood. This cascade of events evolved in humans to help us run from predators or fight invaders, but a faster pulse and slowed digestion don’t help us get over the loss of a loved one or the frenzy of tax time. Our ancient ancestors needed the stress response to escape danger, but in today’s modern world it can tend to linger too long. This can be a draw on your body’s resources and can even prevent it from fighting an infection like it is supposed to.

Thinking positively can be good for your emotional health, but it may also help you to avoid whatever bug is going around.

Pondering positivity.

Your attitude is everything.

How you face life each day largely determines how you feel about your day. If you have a positive approach to life and yourself, even your most demanding days will feel tolerable. Thinking positively is a simple rule, the key to living a satisfying, fulfilled life. However, putting it into practice in your daily life can be more difficult.

Consistently thinking positive can be challenging. Maybe your self-confidence isn't as strong as it could be. If this is the case, you may need to take a leap of faith to think positively.

To be positive you must persevere.

Negativity is the human default, and everyone falls prey to it at some time or another. You are human, and you will stumble and even fall occasionally. The positive person is not faint-hearted, he knows that to stay down is a failure, not a fall. After a short letdown, you’ll remind yourself that with your intelligence and perseverance, something good will happen soon. You can’t lose by approaching life’s events with positive thinking.

We get what we expect.

Dare to think your project offering will be chosen. Whatever we expect or believe will occur will indeed come to pass. So, if you believe that you'll do well on a work project, you will. If you expect not to do well, then you likely won't. The implication is that if you can manage your thoughts, you can think your way to success.

When you aren’t sure about how to think about a situation, approach life positively. With enough positivity, you can change your life.

My final thought.

Looking on the bright side can be challenging, but if you don’t take it seriously it’s impossible. While some people avoid trying very hard to be positive because they think that it’s just a bunch of feel-good nonsense, hopefully, this article has helped you to understand some physical and mental benefits of positive thinking.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Let me know if I’m on track with the kind of information you are looking for.

For more information, check out these posts.

The Power Of Positivity.

Does Your Role Model Have A Positive Mindset?

The Power Of Optimism And A Positive Mindset

Many people think of optimism as a belief system that always anticipates the best possible outcome to a situation. I am a born optimist; I am inclined to put a favorable construction on actions or events. But maybe, like many others, I just heard that things would work out, to look for the silver lining, and to keep my chin up. Now, while I feel a healthy dose of optimism is valuable, it’s also incomplete.

Practically speaking, things won’t always work out for the best no matter how much you hope they will. This is where a positive mindset comes to play with optimism. An optimistic person with a positive mindset believes that with some effort added the desired outcome can be assured and that packs a powerful punch.

Optimism, what is it?

Some people seem to be biologically more optimistic than others. Regardless of what fate tosses at them, they’re not beaten or angry. They don’t become bitter or remain downcast for long. So, what is it about someone who doesn’t become crushed by adversity?

Everyone has bad stuff happen in their life. It’s part of being human. But where some people feel devastated by events, others stay relatively cheerful through difficult times, even seriously bad times like job loss or going through a divorce. These people are optimists.

Optimism means seeing the best in every situation and expecting good things to happen regardless of what’s going on right now. Research shows that optimism can have a positive impact on all areas of your life, from strengthening the immune system to reducing your risk of anxiety and depression, even extending your life!

Optimists

    • Don’t blame themselves when things go wrong

    • Focus on the present and future, and don’t dwell on past hurts

    • Expect good things to happen to them

    • Believe they are responsible for their happiness

Change how you see things.

You might be thinking that optimism is innate: that you’re either an optimist or a pessimist. Jiminy Cricket or Eeyore. But optimism or pessimism is a product of your self-talk, how you respond to things, what you expect, and your self-image. The impressions we received back in early childhood influence this. Were you told you were selfish or lazy or no good at math? The judgments that you got about yourself and the world (whether it is a safe or dangerous place) shape your expectations into adulthood.

And because these opinions are not you, you can change them. You can reset your pessimistic outlook and become more optimistic by reframing your experiences. If something goes haywire, instead of dwelling on the failure and making it personal, try to be unbiased and analyze what happened. Begin with what you learned from the experience.

The power is yours to change how you see things. If you have tended to look on the gloomy side or feel that life is unfair, and you feel helpless, consider optimism as another skill you can learn. Optimism is a skill of emotional intelligence, a learned habit, and it’s a skill you can begin to develop right now.

Optimists don’t remain stuck in the past. If something doesn’t work out the way they thought it would, they move on, confident that success and abundance are just around the corner. Optimists are grateful for what is good in their lives now. They understand that there is more than enough to go around, and they recognize that the world is full of opportunities for everyone.

Positive actions to improve your mindset.

If you suffer from an absence of motivation, or stagnation in your life, it could be due to a lack of optimism. But if you lack focus or skills, what might be missing is a trained positive mindset.

You may feel like you haven’t grown or done as much as those around you. Perhaps you doubt your competency because you recently tried something, and it didn’t work out. Whatever your situation is, there’s nothing wrong with the feeling that you could do more if you knew more, if you don’t beat yourself up over it.

Begin with your self-talk.

The way you think and talk about yourself is paramount to a positive mindset. As humans, we lean into the negatives of life. It’s insidious and it creeps into every area of life, but that tendency is never more apparent than in trash-talk to yourself.

You know that words have power for good or bad. So make them good ones and positively affirm to yourself those things that you do well. You are kind to others, you are consistent, and you know who you are, so say it. Give yourself pats on the back regularly when you face and conquer a challenge or fear, or when you accomplish the goals you set for yourself.

Discover something new.

Learning new things can help to improve an existing mindset or become the basis for a new one. There are many ways to grow. From being a better person to enhancing your skillset at work.

Whether or not it is information that you might see as immediately practical, there’s a certain sense of achievement in realizing that you know something. It makes it easier to feel like a part of the conversation when you are socializing but it also may come in handy one day.

You may be skeptical that learning something new that you are passionate about can help you to feel a bit less like another face in the crowd. If so, join a club devoted to your passion, or just try to find some time on your own to do some reading and then find people that you can share your interest with.

Modify your perspective.

It’s an important action to modify your perspective. It doesn’t make much sense, but we see ourselves through the lens of how we believe others see us. How others think of you or see you is not as important as how you see and think of yourself.

You should be able to earn a sense of worthiness by taking notice of how far you’ve come in your journey or how close you are to your goal rather than comparing your speed or position to that of those around you. Everyone is different, and no one was born with all the answers, knowledge, experience, and skills that make them valuable in the positions that they forge for themselves later in life.

Volunteering can be a great positive action.

Volunteering is great for positivity for at least two main reasons. The first is that it can lend a sense of accomplishment and purpose. By volunteering, no matter what you do, you are giving your time and energy to help those who are less fortunate than you. Maybe you didn’t graduate at the top of your class or that last project at work didn’t go the way that you hoped, but every volunteer should feel that they are doing meaningful work and that their efforts are appreciated.

The other way that volunteering can improve your positivity is that it involves using your talents in a supportive and unique environment. Learning new skills or learning how to use your skills in new ways can both be great ways to discover or increase your potential in an environment that is likely to be more supportive and less judgmental than a school or work environment.

My final thought.

The degree to which you place the most importance on optimism or positivity is subjective. But I doubt anyone would dispute that a positive mindset and optimistic outlook in tandem are more powerful than either are alone.

For more information, check out these posts.

Are Positivity And Optimism The Same Thing (Solved)

10 Tips To Live More Positively

Create A Gratitude Mindset Habit

Seek gratitude-filled moments

I believe a gratitude mindset is the most important one and all good things flow from it. For many years, I have made looking for gratitude within any situation one of my primary habits. But it wasn’t always this way. Like most people, I believed what happens is either good or bad, and you felt grateful for what is good. Consequently, I was in pursuit of the good, the nice, and the safe to feel grateful for.

Quite by accident, my young daughter was bitten on her face by a dog. The surgeon told me how grateful I should feel, the bite had missed her eyes and she could still see. He also said her major facial nerves were intact, and she would be able to smile once she had healed.

I was certainly grateful to that doctor; I appreciated the years he had trained to be a surgeon, how gently he treated my two-year-old, and how he allayed my fears. But, even more, I was thankful for the reminder to be aware that there are things we can be grateful for in the worst circumstances.  

How your gratitude was first introduced as a habit

Most of us have been taught something about gratitude early in life. From the time we become social beings, at age three or four, we're conditioned to say, "please and thank you" along with other words like "sorry" and "excuse me" by our elders, parents, and teachers at home and in school. Thank you — just two simple words that have been so recognizable since childhood, but they are the first expression of gratitude we are taught, and its meaning goes beyond simple politeness.

Gratitude holds real power

Gratitude is an exceptional habit to develop because of the limitless positive benefits associated with it. Living a positive life, which is so important, is associated with the attitude of gratitude. There are many scientific studies conducted on gratitude and there's no doubt how enormously powerful its benefits are.

However, it takes understanding and learning what the concept means to practice it effectively.

Gratitude is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Eventually, regularly practicing gratitude will help you turn it into a habit. Fortunately, gratitude is not an innate trait that you either have or you don't. That's a good thing because it means you can improve it the more you practice it.

Cultivate a singular gratitude habit

There are many ways to create a habit of gratitude. However, there is one very simple and powerful thing you can use to cultivate gratitude and turn it into a habit. It’s so simple that many people overlook it, yet it will do more to create and preserve an attitude of gratitude than anything else.

Acknowledge one thing that you are grateful for. And do it daily. Consistency is the key.

Acknowledge the good people and the good things in your life. Whether you are expressing yourself verbally to a loved one and telling them how grateful you are for their presence in your life, or you're quietly writing your gratitude list down in your private journal, the key to gratitude is simply expressing it. Express your gratitude by any means and do it daily.

Creating a good habit, a good mindset, as we all know, isn’t easy, but it’s worthwhile. Cultivating gratitude as a habit may be especially challenging when 'expressing gratitude,' 'saying thank you,' and simple 'gestures of appreciation' are unfamiliar to you.

Being unaware of the goodness around you

Many people today find it so easy to complain but impossible to appreciate anything and to express appreciation. It can be toxic, not only to other people you are directing your complaints to but, more importantly, to yourself. Negative thinking is toxic to your wellbeing as it leaves you blind and unable to see the good in most situations.

People who consistently complain are naturally drawn to negativity, but they are also resistant to accepting good things. It's like a curse that leaves you positivity resistant. You think, “why bother, I never get any breaks.” When people complain, they are essentially thinking negatively. It can be harmful as we know how negative thoughts lead to more stress, worrying, and anxiety.

A complaining habit mixes well with many negative emotions, such as feeling sad, anxious, and depressed. Complaints may appear natural and harmless, a common human reaction. However, most people realize that by doing so, they are magnifying negativity and readily creating more problems in their lives.

Here are powerful ways to develop a habit of gratitude.

Teach your brain to be grateful

Your subconscious mind directs 95% of your actions and thoughts. To create a habit, you need to plant it on a subconscious level. This is where the reticular activating system comes into play.

The reticular activating system (RAS) is the door through which nearly all information enters the brain. The RAS filters the incoming information affecting what you pay attention to.

You can teach your brain to consciously be more grateful by actively looking for things that make you feel gratitude. It will seem difficult at first if it's not natural for your brain to react that way.

Your conscious mind is doing most of the heavy lifting at this point; you are learning a new skill. But with consistent practice, it should only take a few weeks for your brain to recalibrate itself and adapt to your new perspective, which is gratitude.

Promoting positivity using helpful tools

A gratitude journal can balance out your natural bias towards negativity by shifting to a positive perspective. That's why it is a powerful tool you can use to establish a new gratitude habit. Create gratitude lists daily. Reading positive books, gratitude quotes, and affirmations will also help increase your gratitude awareness.

Connect with Other People

Gratitude is a social emotion. Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on Gratitude, says that "people are more likely to feel grateful when they put their focus on others, rather than getting caught up in their own inner narratives about how things should have gone. Empathy for others can trigger a sense of gratitude."



My final thought

I often think of the words by Anaïs Nin; “We see things not as they are, but as we are.” If we live negatively, that is what we’ll see, but if we see things in a positive light, we’ll have much to be grateful for.

For more information, read these posts.

Creating Habits Of Gratitude

Cultivating Your Gratitude Then Practice Daily

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Believe In Yourself

Gram’s Wisdom 34 Believing in you

Should you believe in yourself? The plain answer is no one else will. Try accomplishing anything, and guess what? You will have an uphill climb to your goal. Sure, you will get there eventually, but any doubts you have will make it much more difficult than it needs to be.

You can’t do everything yourself. At some point, you are certain to need the help of someone for something. If you don’t believe in yourself, how will you ever convince others that they can or should?

I think I must have been 12 or 13 when my Gram thought I was old enough to absorb this lesson. This was a tough one for me. I honestly didn’t believe in myself. But I had believed in her all my life.

Gram told me if you believe in yourself, there is little that can stop you from doing whatever you want to accomplish. It gives you the ability to push forward and to defy the odds.

You will be able to handle any hurdles that come your way. You will also be able to disregard the pessimists. It gives you peace of mind when you stick to your self-belief.

A firm belief in yourself can work wonders

It’s vital to believe in yourself

Your spouse and your family will believe in you to a certain degree. However, when times get tough, family support tends to wane. It’s not that they don’t love and care about you. It’s just they stopped believing in you or your dream/goal. While this doesn’t always occur, it often occurs enough to cause disagreement.

When a spouse or parents initially give you support for a new enterprise, there is excitement in the air; they tell you to give it your best shot. When the undertaking doesn’t work out as they believe it should, they begin to question whether you should continue with it. If your belief weakens, you may take on their way of reasoning.

That time is exactly the moment that you shouldn’t stop. People don’t get ahead by quitting. Your belief in yourself should equip you with the ability to tell your friends and family to have some faith. A firm belief in yourself would give you the courage to stand up to them.

Maintaining self-belief takes perseverance

The trouble is, the path towards success in these endeavors is not a straight line. Having some bumps in the road is normal. This is what characterizes the success of the enterprise, and the people who take risks. It should be embraced and not feared. Whatever venture you decide to pursue, know that only by continuing will you make it work.

Don’t take the easy way out. Instead, prepare yourself as much as possible for unfamiliar situations. But move forward with a strong belief that you can accomplish what you set out to do.

Self-belief powers your dreams, desires, and goals

To keep that self-belief strong, you need to describe your goals. You wouldn’t expect a contractor to build a house without a blueprint. You, too, need an outline to guide you on how to continue. Too many people skip this step and wonder why they aren’t getting anywhere.

Goals are your direction but moving ahead with them is only done when you believe that it’s possible. The belief is the momentum you need to act. It helps you to concentrate on getting your tasks complete.

Confidence is built on self-belief

You will also build confidence when you have self-belief. It’s an influential tool and others will be attracted to that confidence. They will follow your lead, and you will help show them what is imaginable. When you stumble over obstacles (and you will), that confidence will help you see them through. You will know how to take alternate actions when necessary. The people following you will appreciate that as well.

Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative

Several negative forces will try to knock you down. You may even find yourself allowing it to happen. You need to remain focused on why you began your journey in the first place. Use positive affirmations to support your idea. Be consistent with your affirmations.

Unfortunately, many of the negative forces are going to come from your family and friends. They will see it as helping you prevent blunders. Many people will succumb to this negative pressure and give up.

One way to counteract this is to join groups of like-minded individuals. It can be related to your business, or it can be groups that focus on self-help. These organizations exist to try and drive the negative forces out. It’s a good place to go and receive reassurance from the group.

Attending these groups can sometimes lead to friendships with people where you can extend the encouragement of each other. You may even form business collaborations from these friendships. It’s good to know that you have the support of these people when these relationships form. They understand when everyone else around you don’t. Your self-belief will strengthen considerably from this arrangement.

Find others who can motivate and inspire you

The motivation of others can bolster belief in yourself

Think back to a time when someone inspired you. It could be a conference you attended or saw online. You might have read a profile of someone you admired. Whatever the case, the motivation of others can strengthen how you see yourself.

The internet gives us plenty of opportunities to view the stories of high-profile people. Just search on YouTube, and you will find hundreds (if not thousands) of videos of these people sharing their experiences. You will find books covering the same subject. However, there's usually more detail in books rather than in a video. Therefore, you should take advantage of both.

Don’t mistake motivation and inspiration for necessary action 

It’s important to have others who help inspire and motivate you. However, if you place them too high on a pedestal, you may find it difficult to motivate yourself. You begin to suppose these people have an innate ability that you don’t possess. That is counterproductive. You need to recognize they all began the same as you. Some may have had initial advantages, but even people with these advantages don’t always excel. Most people still need to work hard to reach their goals.

Another issue is spending too much time listening or reading about people who motivate you. You must take appropriate action to move ahead with your own goals. It is useful to be motivated by others, but you need to do more than go to seminars or read books. None of that matters unless you put in the effort yourself. Once that happens, others may come to you one day to say how you helped motivate them.

My final thought

Self-belief is one of the most valuable things you can do for your life and yourself. It’s not easy to think positively about yourself when you are besieged on all sides by negativity. But to believe in yourself is certainly worth any effort you make.

For additional information, please read this post by Soul Salt.

How to Believe in Yourself

I hope you enjoyed this post and will share it with people you love. 

Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

Thoughts are the basic mindset of life

You hear it everywhere: you are what you think. And those thoughts become your beliefs, your values, and yes, your mindsets.

Depending on your thoughts or the situation, this can be good or bad. Running away from a growling animal chasing you is a smart thing. Jumping fearfully anytime you hear a dog bark; probably isn’t good for your blood pressure.

Nonetheless, you can’t argue with the fact that many of the great minds of our time agree that thoughts are the building blocks of life experiences. To put it simply, the circumstances of your life are reflections of the way you think.

The difficulty begins when you believe that material things can make you happier. You buy into the notion that bigger, newer, and shinier, expensive things can make your life better. Some people even feel that mind-numbing substances help them to forget their reality or more easily accept it.

The truth is that you can construct a better reality for yourself by producing a change from the inside. Your thoughts are the driving force behind why you feel and act the way you do. Once, you learn to control your thoughts, feelings, and actions, understanding the link between those three, you can begin living the life you want in the way you want it.

Three life-altering tips

Incorporate these three tips into your day to help you alter negative thought patterns to positive ones. Now, let’s begin.

1. Identify flawed thought patterns

Most of our beliefs and thoughts tend to be more on the negative side. This narrative has you feeling responsible for most of what is wrong in your life. Consequently, you feel powerless and out of control. These flawed thought patterns can lead to mental disorders like anxiety and depression.

Gregory Walton, an Associate Professor of Psychology, said, “The most proximate determinant of how people behave is how they understand things, and you can change that.”

Here are some of the more common negative patterns of thought many of us suffer from. Get a pen and paper and write down which of them you most relate to. Once you’ve identified them, you can start to transform them from the negative to the positive.

• Minimizing achievements and maximizing simple errors

• All-or-nothing opposite thinking

• Generalizing people and situations

• Filtering out positive statements and focusing only on the negative

• Mind Reading- Make negative interpretations of what others say

2. Encourage healthy practices

When you do something repeatedly, it becomes a habit. The more you do it, the more likely you’ll continue doing it in the future.

Thought patterns are the same way. The more you think in a particular way, the more you’ll likely continue thinking about it the same way, repeatedly. Soon enough, it’ll start to consume your day-to-day living.

The science behind it is that each thought ignites a chemical reaction in your brain. This reaction then triggers a certain emotion. As a result, your emotions send a signal to your body, and you react accordingly.

This cycle repeats itself until you realize you’re not living the life you want for yourself. You can’t even recognize who you are anymore. An apropos quote by John Frederick Demartini, is, “Your innermost dominant thoughts become your outermost tangible reality.”

It’s then that you should decide to make a change. Recondition yourself by recognizing negative thoughts and how they affect your emotions.

The act of thinking about your thoughts and understanding the patterns behind them is what psychologists refer to as metacognition. It’s one of the best ways to find out what’s causing your thought patterns.

As with most things, reconditioning your thoughts takes time. Ready yourself for a few bumps along the way, but stick with it.

You’ll soon realize; it’s the only way to become aware of the link between your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Only then will you be able to reclaim control and live the life you deserve.

3. Pursue Cognitive-behavioral therapy

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective tool for dealing with certain mental disorders. This type of therapy focuses on the idea that our thoughts, behavior, and emotions are all linked.

The best thing about CBT is it’s all about your present, rather than focusing solely on past events. After all, it was James Allen who wrote, “You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.”

Through CBT, you learn how to challenge negative thoughts and behaviors. CBT is also unique in that it assigns practical work outside each session. It’s a great way to see first-hand how thoughts influence behavior and start to live intentionally.

Check out some of the most common CBT strategies:

• Exposure: Face your fears to confront and overcome stress and apprehension rather than avoiding them.

• Mindfulness: Focusing on the present moment through steady breathing and your five senses.

• Skills training: Practice skills to promote positive behavioral changes through role-playing, modeling, and mock scenarios.

The takeaway

Now, it’s time for a little challenge. Become more conscious of your thoughts, both the good and the bad.

Negative thoughts hold you back from living life to the fullest. They keep you chained in an exhausting loop of self-doubt, fear, and panic.

On the other hand, positive thoughts make you feel good about yourself. They uplift your mood, boost your motivation, and encourage you to work hard.

So, work on rewiring your brain to think happy, positive thoughts. Getting started may be tough in the beginning, but it’s worth it in the long run. Your future self will thank you.

My final thought

This may be counter-intuitive, but hear me out. I have a sunny disposition. I am a happy and positive thinker most of the time. But, occasionally, and in small doses, a little negativity can be useful if it prods you into positive action.

For example, you ask yourself why when you see others getting promotions, and you’re stuck in the same old place. That small dose of negativity can spur you on to learn a new skill or come up with the next great idea. Now, you too have earned the deserved promotion.  

Thanks for reading this post, please share it with your friends and family.

For other slants on this topic, read below.

When And How Thoughts Affect Your Reality

Acting The Way You Want To Feel

When Should You Change Your Mindset?

A change of mindset can change your life

Have you heard? Everyone is talking about changing your mindset to manifest what you desire. So, can a change of mindset change your life? After all, you’ve been thinking the same way for as long as you can remember.

Maybe you’re going through a rough patch and your attitude has gotten out of whack.

When you begin having more negative days than good ones, it’s time to change your mindset. While these are two good reasons you may want to change your mindset, there are plenty more.

Your mindset is what produces the thoughts you have. That is the attitude that shapes your thinking which controls your actions and how you feel about things.

If you have a negative attitude, then your thoughts start blaming and thinking the worst. When you have optimistic or healthy thoughts, you create a better environment for yourself and those around you.

Gram’s Wisdom 29: Think better act better

My Gram told me if you think good thoughts your actions will reflect them. She was also strongly in favor of changing things that are no longer beneficial to you. I believe she would have appreciated the following list.

Six signs it’s time to change your mindset

1.  You’re always focused on failure instead of success. You feel anger and disappointment over each failure without ever celebrating any of your successes. You regularly see yourself as a failure, unintentionally sending negative messages to your mind that you will always fail at everything you try to achieve.

Instead: Keep a daily success diary recognizing each success, no matter its size.

2.  You have a victim mentality. You’ve been the victim of a bad situation, sadly you’ve been let down and hurt by those you loved, or you were devastated by some incident. You’re still carrying the burden of the past. Stop that. NOW.

Instead: Forgive give yourself, forgive those events, and let go of the past.

3.  You’re mired in routine. Not all routine is bad. A good routine can get you more quickly through the necessary daily tasks. Food preparation, housework, and homework with the children. While a bad routine leaves no room for fun and spontaneity. You eat the same food, watch the same television shows, meet the same people in the same tired place. If your neighbor knows what time the pizza delivery person arrives each Wednesday, you need a change.

Instead: Break out. Get a new hobby. Meet people with different interests.

4.  You hate going to work. You constantly grumble about the job you have or feel like it’s an onerous task. Everyone else has a better position than yours or works in nicer conditions. You feel ill-used by your boss, your co-workers, life.

Instead: see your job as a way of delivering value to customers of the business you work for and as having an impact on you and others around you. Being able to work allows you to provide for your family and contribute to society.

5.  You obsess over things you can’t control. You’re critical about what you can’t control like the weather, government, traffic, and other people. Your mind is filled with everything you consider wrong about those things and you never see any of what is right about them.

Instead: identify those things that can be controlled, first of which is yourself. Pinpoint how you can change and control your actions and thoughts to make the experience more constructive. Stop griping and start taking positive actions that will bring you a greater sense of achievement and abundance.

6.  You lack gratitude for what you have. Your focus is on what everyone else has, what is wrong with things, or the world, or the faults in yourself and others. Your negativity prevents you from seeing and enjoying the good surrounding you.

Instead: accept that no life is perfect, but there are people whose life is worse than yours. Concentrate on finding positive things you can be grateful for every day. Begin small by being thankful for your health, or the air you breathe. Remember, the more you are grateful for, the more you have, to be grateful for.

My final thought

When you understand that the reason for rarely feeling happiness and contentment is due to a negative mindset, you will know when it’s time to change your mindset. This shift in your mindset will help you feel better about yourself and attract more abundance into your life.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

If you want to learn more, I have placed two links below.

Change Your Mindset and Change Your Life by Kath at The Life Spotters.

Mindset and How it Can Influence Your Self-Discipline from a past post.

10 Simple Tips to Create a Transformational Abundance Mindset

Developing an abundant mindset

Mindset is an extremely powerful tool. It is the motivating force behind the actions and behaviors which will set you up for success or keep you anxious and insecure about the future.

Depending on which mindset you assume, your perceptions will be different. The path of abundance has you looking at the world through the eyes of optimism and gratitude. You will be able to reach your potential for a life filled with happiness, contentment, and well-being.

However, with a scarcity mindset all you see are difficulties, barriers, and no means of change. Your life becomes reduced and you see yourself as having limited choices.

Unfortunately, society is deeply entrenched in scarcity. People live their lives in fear, blaming their situations, completely certain that their condition is permanent.

The good news is this doesn’t have to be your story. It’s your choice. You must decide that you aren’t going to settle for a life of scarcity anymore, but rather move forward in abundance.

You can begin taking actions today to develop an abundance mindset and it’s easier than you might think. Here are 10 simple things you can integrate into daily life that will have you on the life-changing path of abundance in no time. So, let’s go!

1.  Your thoughts become your life –The mind is constantly buzzing with thoughts that dictate your perspective on the world. These thoughts truly do change your life and it’s important to be aware of them when making the shift from scarcity to abundance.

“You are transformed into a new person by changing the way you think.” Kenneth Acha, MD

Pay attention to the things going on inside your head. What thoughts monopolize your time? Are they positive or negative?

Take one day and track as many thoughts as you possibly can. Write down anything that comes to mind. What suggestions are you telling yourself through those thoughts?

I’m not good enough, smart enough, young enough, old enough. I can’t. What if I fail? What if I’m wrong? Who am I to do something big in the world?

Your thoughts have been holding you back hugely and if you want a more Abundant life, that negativity is one of the first things that must go. Once you become fully aware of what is going on, you regain control, and those thoughts lose their influence over you.

For more information read this article by Kenneth Acha MD. Your Thoughts Run Your Life

2.  Remove toxic people –One of THE best things you can do for yourself and your future success is removing toxic people from your life. Identify those relationships that are weighing you down and choose to stop sacrificing your own needs and happiness for those who don’t value you.

Put yourself first. Take a long, hard look at whom you’ve allowed into your sphere. Do they build you up or drag you down?

Toxic people will keep you mired in a cycle of drama and negativity because it suits them and their selfish agenda. They don’t want you to do any better than themselves and won’t allow you to thrive and blossom into the person you are meant to be.

Distance yourself from those who make you feel ‘less than’ and seek out those that are more Abundance minded. Find a community of like-minded people who will celebrate your wins and encourage you to be the best possible edition of yourself.

3.  Practice gratefulness –One of the most powerful things you can do to attract abundance is by practicing gratitude daily. Be focused. Decide that you are going to look for and seek out the good every day.

Notice even the smallest blessings as you go through your daily routine. Instead of dreading the day when you wake up, immediately think of a few reasons why you are excited and grateful to bounce out of bed.

Smile more. Complain less. Spend quality time with people who help you see the blessings in life.

Begin a journal. Before bedtime, reflect on the good things that transpired that day and write them down. Life is unpredictable and it won’t always be filled with happy moments.

Nevertheless, when you seek to see the good and be grateful for what you have, it makes it much easier to get through those tough times.

“Gratitude builds a bridge to abundance.”

— ROY BENNETT

4.  Don’t compare yourself to others –Society pushes perfection and plays off of our lack of confidence. It’s no wonder our comparison game is strong. The challenge is, when you compare yourself with another person, much of the time you’re comparing their strengths against your weaknesses.

You’re looking at their highlights and comparing them with your mess behind the scenes. This is a recipe for self-destruction and the quickest path to feeling miserable, bitter, and undeserving. Stop the madness and take steps to eliminate comparison from your life.

Do a social media detox or spend less time online. Accept your quirks and shortcomings –they make you, YOU. Keep in mind that there are 7 billion people on this planet –not one of them is perfect (no matter what Instagram says).

Turn the tables and let others inspire you with their contributions, their gains, and their achievements. Rather than feeling like you don’t measure up, appreciate what they have to offer while knowing that there is plenty of room for you to excel as well.

5.  Are you living purposefully? -If you desire to cultivate more abundance in your life, the key is to be intentional about how you live. Where do you spend most of your time and energy?

Are you working towards something you are proud of or just counting the days until Friday? Make time for self-reflection and get clear on what you want out of life –what are your principles, your objectives, and your aspirations?

What lights you up inside and makes you want to leap out of bed every morning? Until we know what is essential to us, it’s hard to be purposeful with our time and effort. Be mindful of the people you allow into your group as well as the information you consume through social media, television, etc.

Make time to do things that bring you joy and choose to be kind to yourself and others. Take small steps to start embracing life on your terms.

6.  Be growth-minded –One of the absolute best gifts you can give yourself is that of knowledge. A person who lives in abundance will make every effort to explore new concepts, learn new skills, and expand their vision to see things in a new light. There is always something new to be learned.

Decide that you are going to be a life-long learner and take full advantage of all the resources you have at your fingertips today –podcasts, Ted Talks, online courses, audiobooks, etc. The list is endless and will provide you with a world of new concepts, thoughts, and possibilities that keep the juices in your brain flowing.

Consistent learning allows you to endlessly grow and change into a better version of yourself all while you gain a better perspective about the world around you.

7.  Give to others –There are billions of people on this planet, but we are all connected when it comes to giving and receiving. When you add value to someone else’s life, it will always add to the abundance in yours.

Become good at being an unconditional giver of your time, energy, money, and resources. Don’t expect something in return when you give -just let it be.

There are so many ways to be of value to another person. Go through your house or garage and donate things you don’t use anymore.

Give away bags of clothing or toys that your kids no longer play with. You get to help someone else and declutter your space at the same time –that’s a win-win in my book.

Buy groceries for a family in need or pay a bill or two for someone who is behind. Keep in mind, it doesn’t always have to be about money or material things.

Pray for someone or offer a helping hand when they are struggling. Offer to listen to a co-worker who is going through a hard time.

Be friendly to a stranger and extend them a smile or a few kind words –you never know what someone is going through. It could be the one thing that gets them through the rest of their day. Don’t take that for granted.  Just love people without judging whether they deserve it.

8.  Leave your comfort zone behind –One of the major mistakes you can make is to allow countless opportunities to pass you by because you refuse to be uncomfortable. Stepping beyond your comfort zone is tough. 

It means forcing yourself to do things you’re not accustomed to. It means going into unknown territory. You fear getting burned. You fear disappointment.

It’s so much easier to shrink back and stay unseen than leap into the unfamiliar. But staying hidden isn’t the answer. It won’t help you develop and it’s not stimulating you to reach your full potential.

Up until now, you’ve been blind to all the possibilities which life has to offer. Developing an abundance mindset is about taking off those blinders and waking up to all the things you’ve been missing.

It needn’t be difficult –reach out to someone you admire to ask them questions. Make a phone call about that job you’ve been ogling.

Write that blog post and then hit publish! Once you begin taking small steps outside your comfort zone, a world of prospects will reveal themselves.

9.  Jettison the excuses –If you want to live with more abundance, you must discard the excuses as to why you can’t have a better life. Excuses are powered by fears and insecurities. They keep you rooted in perfectionism and procrastination so that you don’t tiptoe too far outside your comfort zone.

You make up reasons why you can’t before you’ve tried. Fear of failure. Fear of what others will say. Fear of looking foolish. It’s an endless cycle that keeps you stuck in a rut, never allowing you to grow into the person you are meant to be.

To live a more abundant life, you must decide to ditch excuses from your vocabulary and your life. When you notice yourself making an excuse, go to the core cause. What is preventing you from action?

Frequently overwhelm is the big culprit here. Some projects are so large they seem to have no end. That is when it helps to break down bigger objectives into smaller tasks, so they are easier to achieve.

10.  Healthy mind and body habits –It’s impossible to have a healthy mindset if you don’t take care of your body too. We live in a microwave society where unhealthy habits run unchecked. We get so caught up in the daily madness of life that we sometimes tend to put our health on the back burner.

It’s a good idea to look at your daily habits and see which ones might need some adjusting. You don’t have to join a gym and eat lettuce every day. Simply try to start putting yourself first and create a routine that works for you.

Be deliberate about what you are putting into your body. Make time for self-care. Eat more veggies. Get outside in nature, breathe the fresh air, and make sure you’re getting enough sleep.

Decrease your stress by learning to say a firm no, to the things that don’t serve you. Love yourself enough to put your health and wellness at the top of the priority list. Your mind and body will thank you for this.

My final thought

You can, and you should, easily begin developing your abundance mindset today by incorporating some of these tips into your daily routine. No matter how long your scarcity mentality has been a weight you’ve carried, you have the power to start over at any given moment.

By acknowledging that you have a choice, that you don’t have to be mired in scarcity for the rest of your life, you can begin to transform your life and create your reality from this day forward. You deserve it. Give yourself patience and grace and enjoy the journey.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you are interested in more information, check out this previous post.

Shift Your Mindset and Abundance Will Come More Easily.