A Better Mindset From Incremental Change

Tiny changes bring about large results.

Do you want to be better? A better person, a better parent, a better boss? And how about being better than you were last year or even last week? It’s possible. It just takes the right mindset and goals. I call it the mindset of better.

Did you know that only eight percent of people reach their goals? Yep, that's right! The other 92 percent fail within weeks or months. They want to do better, and it’s not their mindset at fault. According to research, what separates the two comes down to one simple thing: setting detailed and challenging goals.

The first step is to open your mind and embrace change. We, humans, are wired to resist any changes that disrupt our routines and habits. Unless you beat inertia, you’ll never be able to transform your life. Relax and be ready for whatever comes. Big dramatic changes won’t necessarily produce big results. Sometimes, it’s the small things that matter.

However, this doesn't mean you should dive in and do everything at once. Trying to do too many things is often a formula for failure. Instead, if you want to go big, you must think small. Not just small, but minuscule. Break those large goals into smaller goals, then make them tiny and begin there.

What's so wrong with “Thinking Big?”

People might have told you that you can accomplish anything you want, whether it's saving the world or becoming a prima ballet dancer. Unfortunately, that's unlikely to happen. Sure, you could do it, but it will take years of challenging work and discipline. For this reason, it's so important to take baby steps toward your goals, so you don’t become burned out.

The truth is what you need to do is think big in detail. It's essential to have detailed information, plans, knowledge, and skills for your big goals to become a reality. That won't happen overnight. It takes tiny steps, consistently performed day after day.

A big idea doesn't guarantee success. Anyone can have ideas, but only a few people will bring them to life. When thinking big, it's easier to miss the smaller details and make costly mistakes. If you fail, you'll feel disappointed and have a tough time beginning again.

For example, many people dream of running a marathon. However, they haven't yet put on their shoes and run to the end of the driveway. To succeed, think big in increments. Focus on getting out the door and around the block for a week. After that week, begin adding additional distance to your routine. Soon you should notice that your consistency is making it easier for you to get out that door and become a better runner.

How to leverage incremental change.

Since trivial things can have such a significant impact, you can use incremental change to your advantage. Think of what you want to accomplish and then narrow your view. The narrower your focus, the more you will see and experience.

Focus your efforts on taking small baby steps toward your goals, you’ll be more precise and get better results. Your attention to the minute details makes it easier to pivot if or when necessary, as opposed to the challenge of changing all the moving parts in a large goal.

Apply these principles to all areas of your life, whether it’s your career, family, relationships, or health. Each day, do one thing that supports your goals. Build on it the next day. You are looking for a cumulative effect. It doesn’t have to be something big – remember, slight changes have the biggest impact overall.

Changes in your behavior can change your life.

Whether you want to become the next Steve Jobs, launch a successful project, or learn a new skill, you need to begin with baby steps. Exchange any behaviors that hold you back for actions that move you forward.

Let's say you have a tough time following through on your goals. Lately, you always find excuses to skip your piano lessons. By doing that you'll never manage to learn the fundamentals and without them, you will never learn to play well.

Commit yourself to your lessons. Take them seriously just like you do with your job or family time. Schedule practice time as well. Start tiny with 5-10 minutes every day in the beginning.  What you’re doing is incrementally building a new positive habit. The key is not to become overwhelmed and give up.

Stick to the changes you’ve made. Don't jump from one thing to the next. Be consistent and take small steps toward your goals. For instance, if you begin meditating, practicing yoga, or playing the piano, do it every single day. Your goal is just to get better one day at a time.

Think small to go big, and the results will follow!

 Why do small things matter?

Ever heard of the Butterfly effect? According to the chaos theory, insignificant things can have major effects on the world around us.

Want another example? Think about the soda you drink every day. One 12-ounce container has about 150 calories. That's an extra 4,500 calories per month and 54,000 calories per year. It takes just 3,500 calories to gain one pound of fat. If you drink a can of soda daily, you'll pack on an extra fifteen pounds a year unless you burn off those calories.

There are plenty of examples of minuscule things that have had a great impact - and the same applies to your daily life.

My final thoughts.

You can have an influence on your life in small incremental ways. Remember, it’s the mindset of better. Something as simple as reading a book can lead to a major career shift or an aha moment in how you relate to your family. Tiny steps taken day by day accrue like interest in the bank. You won’t see a big change next week, but just give it a couple of years.

For more information, check out this post.

Why Small Goals Are the Secret To Success.

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Motivate Your Mood With Music And Interactions

Motivation to feel good every day

Feeling a good mood every day isn't some daydream that's impossible to achieve. You get to dictate how your day will progress from the minute you wake up until you go to sleep.

Although you can't control everything that happens, you can control how you react to it. For example, if you oversleep and miss your alarm clock, are you going to allow that to spoil the mood of your day?

After the initial panic, you'll likely get yourself together and take care of your responsibilities. The difference between letting a mistake ruin your whole day and moving on is your mentality.

Each day, you can choose your reactions. The problems occur when you react negatively to a situation and allow it to ruin your entire day.

The best way to control your emotions and your moods are to effectively manage your negative triggers.

If being late makes you anxious, do what you can to avoid that. Handle everything you need to do the night before, so you feel relaxed in the morning.

Plan for the day you want

By planning, you're acting towards avoiding that negative stimulus. In turn, you'll find yourself having better days.

Waking a bit early so you feel calm and unrushed is a good start to a better day.

The next way to begin having better days is to get your day off on the right foot. We're all programmed to wake up and check the news. However, doing so is damaging to your mental health.

If you must, a quick check of the weather and the traffic report should be sufficient.

Begin your day feeling inspired

When you wake up in the morning, try not to check your phone as soon as you open your eyes. Instead, swap Instagram for some deep stretches. This will give you the energy you need to get up and get going.

Next, listen to some inspiring music or an educational podcast. This will help you get in the right frame of mind for your day.

Set your intentions

Another way to have amazing days is to set an intention. Ask yourself, what is my goal for today? Is it to arrive at work on time? Reconnect with an old friend? Or maybe make it to the gym for that spin class?

Whatever your unique intention is, you'll be more inclined to live up to that goal if you set a reminder.

Setting an intention is designed to keep you on track. This gives you the motivation and confidence you need to make it through your day.

Focus on solutions

During your day, you're going to run into challenges that stress you out. Instead of getting overwhelmed, adapt your mind to find a solution. This will help you take control of your destiny as opposed to focusing on the negative.

If you want to have good days, every day, you must be your cheerleader. Encourage yourself to keep going despite your challenges. By taking control of your attitude and focusing on the positive, you're bound to have good days throughout the year.

The healing effects of music on your mood

Music touches the heart and soul of audiences everywhere. So much so, music has been known to evoke healing effects on its listeners.

Some rehabilitation programs incorporate music into their self-development programs. Hospitals, nurseries, and even some institutions play music to elevate or calm the mood of those in it.

Most people know that music is a mood booster. However, do you completely understand how or why?

If you're an avid music listener and want to know how music impacts your mood, consider these interesting facts that may open your eyes to this little-known happiness tool.

Music can impact your mood

Have you ever had a bad day and decided to blast your favorite songs? Maybe you have a playlist dedicated to getting you through difficult times.

Whatever your genre, music has a way of redirecting your thoughts to something outside of yourself. Rather than focusing on that incident at work, you're now listening to the lyrics of the song; possibly trying to decode them and get into the artist's mind.

Music not only serves as a healthy distraction, but it also validates your feelings. If you're going through a breakup, you feel less alone knowing someone else has been through the same situation.

When lyrics touch you so personally, you're able to build a connection that doesn't require a lot of effort on your end.

Music can also improve your self-awareness. There are so many songs that are dedicated to making people feel good about themselves in the face of adversity. Listening to those tunes will automatically give you the confidence boost you need.

How does music affect your mood?

Music makes you feel good. When you hear a fun melody that resonates with your taste, you're automatically happier. You get excited when you hear certain songs.

This excitement spills over into your actions. That's why some are moved to dance when they hear their favorite songs. From the melody to the beat, all these factors contribute to improving your mood.

However, as mentioned, there are those songs that you just feel especially connecter to.

This connection helps you to feel less alone in a world full of people who may not understand you. This is especially true for the lyrics. Some songs are written with so much passion, you can't help but play them repeatedly.

Is music therapy real?

Yes! Music therapy has been used for years to help people overcome trauma and heal. As mentioned, some institutions use music to lift the mood of their patients when they're going through a difficult challenge.

If you want to include music in your personal development, try these helpful tips.

Begin your morning with an uplifting or motivational song. This will give you the confidence you need to begin your day.

Create different playlists that are designed to help you get through different situations. Perhaps a motivational playlist to help you get through your workout. Or maybe a playlist labeled dinner for two suitable for a romantic evening.

Outlining your playlists will help you understand which music fits your mood. Implementing this into your daily routine will help you feel better immediately.

If you're going through something, try putting on your favorite jams! You'll quickly notice a shift in your mood that'll make you want to conquer the day! Take advantage of this beautiful gift we have and keep music a part of your life.

5 Reasons a healthy social life expands your well being

If your social life is lacking, it may be time to breathe life into it. Sure, it's easy to think that you might be better off without having to deal with people or to exist in your bubble, but there is scientific evidence that indicates that regular, social interaction can positively affect your health.

A healthy social life does not happen by chance. It requires a bit of cultivating on your part. It demands that you maintain high-quality, social interactions. Not sure what classifies as being high-quality? Think of high-quality interactions as being those events you commonly witness between close friends and relatives.

Here are five reasons you should invest in a healthy social life:

1 | Improves your physical health

Who knew that spending a little time with others could have a positive effect on your physical health? It’s true! Social interaction can help to boost your immune system and protect you from chronic events such as pain and illnesses.

2 | Mental wellbeing

Never undervalue the importance of living in the shadow of good mental health. Your mental health is critical to your overall ability to navigate everyday life situations. According to one study, having healthy relationships go a long way to boost your mood. What’s better than having a supportive network of friends who can offer the needed support to see you through difficult times.

3 | Protects you from disability

A healthy social life protects you from disability. This aspect is particularly true for the aging population who may no longer have children or extended family nearby.

Studies show that the elderly who have frequent interaction with caring children and grandchildren have a positive involvement and improved health. Some benefit more from having relationships that exist outside of the family.

4 | Less stress

There’s nothing like having a good friend or group of friends to raise your spirits and combat stressful situations with you at your side. The social facet of having people in your life can also help to reduce your stress levels due to the release of various chemicals in the brain and throughout the body that naturally produces feelings of calm.

5 | Better sleep experiences

Social life can help you sleep a bit better through the night. According to a study from the University of Chicago, people who do not regularly engage with others are more likely to experience feelings of social isolation, agitation, and distractions.

How to increase your social connections 4 ways:

If you are an introvert, happy on your own, or currently a loner and not sure where to start with boosting your social group, there are a few basic ways to get out and begin meeting new people.

Volunteer your skills, time, or talents

Volunteering your time is a great way to meet new people. Volunteering can assist in helping you to find a real purpose, enhance your self-confidence, combat depression, and expose you to like-minded people or better yet, those who you might not have otherwise ever encountered in your everyday world.

Become the host with the most

Become the world’s most outstanding host and open your home or even invite your family and friends out to dinner. You can improve your social life by taking the lead in relationships and by coordinating events that bring you in contact with others. You could host quiz parties, movie nights, afternoon croquet on the lawn, or simply invite a friend over for tea.

Be active in your church

If you are a churchgoer, check out the various activities. From choir groups to community work to social bible groups, there are multiple ways to meet new people and boost your social contacts.

Online Communities

If you are not one to engage in the crowds, consider joining active online communities that center around your interests. You will find that there are thousands if not millions of people who have common interests that enjoy communicating and sharing their experiences with others and look forward to hearing from you.

My final thought

Creating a good mood can be as simple as trying any one or several of the ideas in this post. Combine it with negativity avoidance whenever and wherever you encounter it, and you can’t help but boost your mood significantly.

For more information, check out these posts.

Want To Feel Happier Today Try Talking To A Stranger

How Does Music Affect Your Mood

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10 Benefits Of Self Care On Your Mood

Gram’s Wisdom 35

When people think of their mood, they often think of just being in a good mood or a bad mood. But the truth is, there is a large gap between these two extremes. Things like mental stress, physical stress, and so many other factors go into how you feel.

Gram told me your mood is only good or bad depending on how you handle it. She said your emotions, from anxious, irritated, and fearful, at one end of the spectrum, to relaxed, and calm at the other end, affects your moods willy-nilly if you allow them.

Do you feel like you don’t have a balanced mood, or you are constantly moving from one extreme to the other? It might be time to look at your habits, including your morning and evening routines, and how you spend your time. Your behavior has a large impact on your emotions and, ultimately, your moods and how you feel.

Gram was a big proponent of daily routines that you can count on to keep you steady. As Gram once told me, we get plenty of outside influences and people to upset our day.

What causes these shifts in your mood?

One of the most surprising things about mood fluctuations is how many things in your day-to-day life, many of which you don’t have control of, can change your mood. The more you understand about mood changes, the more you can decide what lifestyle changes will help the best with your mood-boosting habits.

Some examples of shifts in your mood include:

Stress — Probably one of the most common causes is stress. This can be severe stress where you expect your mood to change, but even very mild forms of emotional stress that you didn’t realize have such a big impact on how you feel and behave overall.

Mental health — Many mental health disorders can lead to changes in your mood, including anxiety and depression. If you struggle with your mental health, you might already be aware of how drastically your mood can shift.

Sleep habits — Yes, how much and how well you sleep is going to affect your mood! We aren’t just talking about having a bad night’s sleep and not feeling your best the next morning. This also includes poor sleep hygiene habits that affect your mood the next day.

Diet — What you will see throughout this content is that what you eat can greatly impact how you feel. What you choose to eat much of the time makes a huge difference in your mood as does the amount of water you drink. So, don’t’ forget to hydrate liberally.

Medical causes — Not only can hormone fluctuations affect your mood, but other medical causes like thyroid disorders, stroke, vitamin deficiency, and ADHD might all be the cause of your mood changes.

10 Self-care strategies to boost your mood

1. Morning routine

Let’s talk a bit about morning routines. This is one of those trending topics that people think is just popular right now and will be gone before we know it, but that isn’t true at all.

You already have a morning routine, whether you knowingly realize it or not. You probably have certain tasks you need to get done shortly after waking up, such as brushing your teeth, taking a shower, walking your dogs, making your kids breakfast, or stumbling out of bed and rushing out the door to get to work.

You needn’t reinvent the wheel with your morning routine, but rather, just add a few actions in your morning that will improve your day and your mood.

One of the best activities you can add to your morning routine is to write in a journal. There are many ways this can help you, but one of my personal favorites is with a brain dump (also called stream of consciousness).

What is a brain dump?

This simply means you write whatever is on your mind and keep writing until you feel like you have gotten through all those nagging thoughts. Your mood fluctuations might be from stress or just feelings of overwhelm. Your thoughts can do that without you even realizing it.

By doing this sort of brain dump in the morning, you get those thoughts out on paper to help release some tension, but also to gain a little more clarity.

2. Improve your sleep habits

The next most important thing you can do each day when you want to boost your mood naturally, is to get better sleep. And I’m not just talking about how many hours you sleep, though that is important.

You want to focus on appropriate sleep habits, which is simply the nighttime routine you have before you go to sleep.

Here are some things you can add to your sleep routine that will help you get more restful sleep, and balance your mood at the same time:

Begin getting ready for bed 1-2 hours before you intend to fall asleep.

Try to have a normal (for you) bedtime hour.

Don’t use any electronics or keep the TV on when you are preparing for sleep.

Try to avoid stimulants like caffeine or alcohol shortly before going to sleep.

Set up your bedroom to provide a restful night’s sleep, including a cool and quiet environment.

Get blackout curtains to keep it as dark as possible in your bedroom.

Partake of quiet and calm activities before bed, such as reading or writing in your journal.

With these few changes, you should notice that you tend to fall asleep a little easier, and you don’t wake up nearly as often fatigued and irritable.

3. Become more aware of what you eat

I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but what you eat does make a difference to how you feel, both mentally and physically. Some foods, like high amounts of sugar and refined carbohydrates, give you energy and make you feel better in the short-term, but cause an energy crash, after which you might notice your mood worsening.

When it comes to eating well, you want to focus on balance and proper nutrients in moderation. Not being on a restrictive diet, but just trying to get in more complex carbs, whole grains, fruits and vegetables, and lean protein.

4. Move your body regularly

In addition to eating correctly, try to get some regular exercise. Again, it isn’t about completing a difficult fitness challenge or pushing yourself to do some extreme form of activity you don’t enjoy.

Rather, find some workouts that get you moving, that motivate and excite you to try, and that you enjoy. These can help you become mentally healthier and improve your mood exponentially, with the added benefit of being good for your physical health as well.

Some exercises you might want to include:

Walking or hiking

Dancing

Taking a local fitness class

Yoga or Pilates

Weightlifting

Family workouts with your children

5. Practice gratitude

It’s said, when you appreciate the blessings in your life, it’s hard to focus on what you don’t have. By doing this, your mood will change practically overnight.  

No matter how difficult things might feel in the present moment, there are always things you can be grateful for. It might be the people in your life who are always loving and supportive, a job you enjoy, a roof over your head, your pets or family, or simply your cup of coffee every morning when you have 5 minutes of quiet.

To improve your mood each day, begin writing 5-10 things you are grateful for in your journal. Turn this into a daily routine that you do every morning or evening, and you will notice the changes happening quickly.

6. Self-Care should be a priority

Self-care is much more than people realize, and often unappreciated. To put it simply, your self-care routine should be something you do for yourself and only you. At least once a day, you should choose some type of activity that you enjoy, relaxes you, and makes you happy.

While it can be absolutely anything, here are a few ideas if you’re not sure where to begin:

Get a manicure and pedicure

Do a face mask

Watch your favorite show

Read a book

Work on an art project

Take an afternoon nap

Soak in a bubble bath

Meet a friend for coffee

It can be something you do alone or with friends. There are no rules for self-care if it makes you feel better and is something you truly enjoy.

7. Declutter and organize your surroundings

Does seeing a pile of shoes left at the door or a dining room table you can’t eat at, exhaust you? Working on your space and getting it organized helps with mood stabilization! Have you ever woken up in a clean and orderly room, and just felt better? Just having a decluttered and clean home can make all the difference to how you feel. You’ll be happier, healthier, and more productive.

Spend just a few minutes a day (set a timer if need be) picking up your home and tidying it as much as you can, even if you have a busy schedule.

8. Disconnect once a day

Give yourself at least one time in the day when you are completely disconnected. This means no computer or laptop, no tablet, and no cell phone. It is up to you if you choose to include the television in unplugging, but no phones!

You need some time to relax without social media, phone updates, and text messages. This allows you to bask in the quiet and just enjoy your home and family, without all that extraneous noise.

9. Set boundaries for yourself

This might be one of the more surprising ways you can boost your mood naturally. Sometimes, you have so many expectations and so many people needing things from you, that you don’t realize your responsibilities are what is negatively affecting your mood.

It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to turn down an invitation. It isn’t okay to always be the one-person people can count on for whatever they need, whenever they need it. Set some healthy boundaries and let people know when and if you are available to them. If they love you, they will understand your need for boundaries, just as you respect their boundaries.

10. Get more sunshine and fresh air

Lastly, try to spend more time outside if you can. Fresh air and vitamin D will both greatly benefit your mood and energy levels.

Too many people don’t get enough vitamin D in their diet and aren’t outside enough during the day to soak it up naturally from the sun’s UV rays. The simplest thing is to figure out how you can spend a little more time outside.

My final thought

I love this list of ways to help boost your mood. Number 10 is my particular favorite. Let me know in the comments which of these appeals most to you.

For more information, read these posts.

Practice Self Care To Improve Your Mood

Acting The Way You Want To Feel

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Your Mood Impacts Your Behavior

Some people always seem moodier than others. You could say it’s in their nature. This wouldn’t be a problem but for the fact that their mood is bad or negative. No one ever says, “hey, beware of what you say to Henry, He’s in an excellent mood today.” So, it’s obvious, while we all have good and bad moods, it’s only the bad ones that label us as being moody.

Let’s look at the psychology of moods and what can be done to improve your moods.

Do moods affect our psychology?

It's that feeling you get when you realize you just ran out of coffee. Or that discouraging feeling of stress when you discover some disappointing news. No matter the situation at hand, there is a strong, biological force manipulating our behavior.

What's this mysterious force you may ask? It's none other than our mood.

Neuroscientists and researchers have spent a great deal of time analyzing how our moods impact our behavior. While they've made accurate strides, there's still so much to be learned about why our emotions impact our mood and vice versa.

Are emotions and moods interchangeable?

While many conclude that emotions and mood are the same, interestingly, they aren't. The theory of emotions states, "emotions are patterns of firing in large groups of neurons that integrate neural representations of situations, cognitive evaluations of those situations, and physiological changes."

Put simply, your emotions are based on preconceived patterns, beliefs, and personal goals associated with thoughts and feelings. For example, if you were passed up on an opportunity at work, likely you'll be disappointed; maybe even angry. Why is that?

You're programmed to believe that if you don't receive the acknowledgment, you're automatically a failure. While extreme, this conditioning of patterns influences how you perceive your day. Because of this letdown, you may categorize your entire day as being, 'bad."

While your emotions may impact how you view your day and overall behavior, your mood controls something completely different.

Moods and feelings

One author eloquently stated, "moods are dispositions to have emotions. Salt has the disposition to dissolve in water, and glass bottles have the disposition to break when dropped."

So, how does your mood compare to your overall emotions? According to science, your overall mood "produces" the emotions you express. Let's go back to the job scenario. If you were in a relatively good mood before the news, your emotional reaction to the situation may be balanced. You are naturally disappointed, but you aren't lashing out or engaging in activities you'll regret.

By contrast, if you were in a bad mood before hearing the news, your emotions could send you into a tailspin. Thus, engaging in words or actions that you could later regret.

When considering how your mood impacts your behavior, one must recognize that mood and emotions are interchangeable in a comparative sense. For example, if you're excited about getting a new job, likely your mood is going to reflect that. If you're frustrated about your morning commute, that negative energy could affect the rest of your day.

Although your mood and emotions utilize different neurons and chemical processes, they're still quite similar when it comes to how your behavior is impacted. Regardless of your emotional state, your mood is always going to be impacted by your feelings and vice-versa.

Positive coping mechanisms

Because the two are so closely related, it's prudent to learn positive coping systems that can help you control your mood when consuming emotions occur.

While this is no easy task, many people have found that through professional help, medication, or deep breathing exercises, they have been able to control their emotions in a way that doesn't impact their mood.

Some examples of this are practicing mindfulness. This involves allowing emotions to filter throughout the body without judging or controlling them. You're able to maintain your balanced mood, even in the face of extreme stress.

Other coping strategies can be normal activities that have a calming or decompressing component to them, such as cooking, gardening, or playing with your pet.

You needn’t be a victim of negative beliefs or situations. Developing your own set of positive coping systems and receiving the help you need will help you learn how to effectively deal with your emotions and control your overall mood.

Along with the emotional benefits of a good mood, there are also health benefits. Let’s take a look at some of them.

Health benefits of feeling joyful

Joy is the feeling of enormous contentment, appreciation, and happiness. It takes on a mystical meaning when applied to your everyday life. Many people, no matter their race, class, or nationality, experience joy even in the face of numbing situations.

Many individuals experience joy when they choose to ignore the negativity in their life and concentrate on the positive. That's why the phrase "choose joy” has achieved popularity over the years.

While being joyful influences your attitude, it also plays a key role in keeping you healthy. Believe it or not, your emotions have a lot to do with your relationships, productivity, and even life expectancy. If you're looking to improve your health, start with the mind. Let's consider a few health benefits that come along with choosing to be joyful.

Increasing your happiness

Individuals who choose to be in a joyful mood experience an overall increase in their happiness. Developing this optimistic view helps them cope effectively with daily challenges.

While joy is centered around recognizing the bad, yet searching for the good, joy doesn't disregard negativity. Joyous people embrace what has happened to them headfirst.

Instead of drowning in their sorrows, they act. Their joy affords them the clarity to make mindful decisions that could improve their position.

In addition, when negative circumstances arise, they're able to handle their emotions without doing something they'll regret. This keeps them from taking damaging actions that could ruin their lives.

Decreases depression

While depression is considered a chemical imbalance, people who choose joy, suffer less depression and anxiety. How so?

As mentioned, they recognize their emotions and develop strategic ways to solve their issues. By staying "busy" in this regard, they're able to ward off depressive or anxious thoughts.

However, this isn't to say that individuals who suffer from depression and anxiety aren't joyful. Instead, it's only meant to showcase the statistical side of choosing joy.

Reduces your risk of heart failure

When you subject yourself to a lot of negativity and stress, this has an enormous impact on your heart. Over time, your heart will experience serious complications due to this constant negative stimulus.

Individuals who choose joy have decreased cardiovascular problems and an overall healthy body. By choosing to rid themselves of negativity and instead focus on the positive, they're preserving the health of their heart.

Improvements to motivation and proficiency

Happy people are more likely to get things done and have the energy to do so. Have you ever heard the saying, "this activity is exhausting"? People say this when referring to crushingly negative projects that drown their happiness.

When you feel happy, you're more productive, social, and imaginative. You're able to create fresh ideas and have the energy to execute them. Because of this, people with creative jobs are required to take time off for their self-development. This helps them cultivate additional mental clarity when handling their daily tasks.

A good mood enriches your relationships

Being in a good mood makes others want to be around you. They aren't bogged down by sad stories or negativity. Therefore, people who choose to be joyful are more likely to have a wide range of contacts to choose from.

In addition, your romantic and interpersonal relationships are healthier when you're joyful. You're able to connect with your partner in a solution-focused manner as opposed to trying to win. This is crucial for keeping your long-term relationships healthy.

Choosing to live a joyful life makes you happier, more productive, and easier to get along with. These perks alone should inspire you to home in on your happiness. By doing so, you'll feel an inner peace like no other.

My final thought

Just as it improves so many other things, gratitude can improve your mood. Gratitude for what you have allows you to brush off negative feelings that affect your mood. I think of gratitude as being the ultimate positivity.

For more information, please read the following posts.

Create A Better Mood For Yourself

Mind Body Connection How Your Emotions Affect Your Health

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope you will share it with someone you love.

Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

Thoughts are the basic mindset of life

You hear it everywhere: you are what you think. And those thoughts become your beliefs, your values, and yes, your mindsets.

Depending on your thoughts or the situation, this can be good or bad. Running away from a growling animal chasing you is a smart thing. Jumping fearfully anytime you hear a dog bark; probably isn’t good for your blood pressure.

Nonetheless, you can’t argue with the fact that many of the great minds of our time agree that thoughts are the building blocks of life experiences. To put it simply, the circumstances of your life are reflections of the way you think.

The difficulty begins when you believe that material things can make you happier. You buy into the notion that bigger, newer, and shinier, expensive things can make your life better. Some people even feel that mind-numbing substances help them to forget their reality or more easily accept it.

The truth is that you can construct a better reality for yourself by producing a change from the inside. Your thoughts are the driving force behind why you feel and act the way you do. Once, you learn to control your thoughts, feelings, and actions, understanding the link between those three, you can begin living the life you want in the way you want it.

Three life-altering tips

Incorporate these three tips into your day to help you alter negative thought patterns to positive ones. Now, let’s begin.

1. Identify flawed thought patterns

Most of our beliefs and thoughts tend to be more on the negative side. This narrative has you feeling responsible for most of what is wrong in your life. Consequently, you feel powerless and out of control. These flawed thought patterns can lead to mental disorders like anxiety and depression.

Gregory Walton, an Associate Professor of Psychology, said, “The most proximate determinant of how people behave is how they understand things, and you can change that.”

Here are some of the more common negative patterns of thought many of us suffer from. Get a pen and paper and write down which of them you most relate to. Once you’ve identified them, you can start to transform them from the negative to the positive.

• Minimizing achievements and maximizing simple errors

• All-or-nothing opposite thinking

• Generalizing people and situations

• Filtering out positive statements and focusing only on the negative

• Mind Reading- Make negative interpretations of what others say

2. Encourage healthy practices

When you do something repeatedly, it becomes a habit. The more you do it, the more likely you’ll continue doing it in the future.

Thought patterns are the same way. The more you think in a particular way, the more you’ll likely continue thinking about it the same way, repeatedly. Soon enough, it’ll start to consume your day-to-day living.

The science behind it is that each thought ignites a chemical reaction in your brain. This reaction then triggers a certain emotion. As a result, your emotions send a signal to your body, and you react accordingly.

This cycle repeats itself until you realize you’re not living the life you want for yourself. You can’t even recognize who you are anymore. An apropos quote by John Frederick Demartini, is, “Your innermost dominant thoughts become your outermost tangible reality.”

It’s then that you should decide to make a change. Recondition yourself by recognizing negative thoughts and how they affect your emotions.

The act of thinking about your thoughts and understanding the patterns behind them is what psychologists refer to as metacognition. It’s one of the best ways to find out what’s causing your thought patterns.

As with most things, reconditioning your thoughts takes time. Ready yourself for a few bumps along the way, but stick with it.

You’ll soon realize; it’s the only way to become aware of the link between your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Only then will you be able to reclaim control and live the life you deserve.

3. Pursue Cognitive-behavioral therapy

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective tool for dealing with certain mental disorders. This type of therapy focuses on the idea that our thoughts, behavior, and emotions are all linked.

The best thing about CBT is it’s all about your present, rather than focusing solely on past events. After all, it was James Allen who wrote, “You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.”

Through CBT, you learn how to challenge negative thoughts and behaviors. CBT is also unique in that it assigns practical work outside each session. It’s a great way to see first-hand how thoughts influence behavior and start to live intentionally.

Check out some of the most common CBT strategies:

• Exposure: Face your fears to confront and overcome stress and apprehension rather than avoiding them.

• Mindfulness: Focusing on the present moment through steady breathing and your five senses.

• Skills training: Practice skills to promote positive behavioral changes through role-playing, modeling, and mock scenarios.

The takeaway

Now, it’s time for a little challenge. Become more conscious of your thoughts, both the good and the bad.

Negative thoughts hold you back from living life to the fullest. They keep you chained in an exhausting loop of self-doubt, fear, and panic.

On the other hand, positive thoughts make you feel good about yourself. They uplift your mood, boost your motivation, and encourage you to work hard.

So, work on rewiring your brain to think happy, positive thoughts. Getting started may be tough in the beginning, but it’s worth it in the long run. Your future self will thank you.

My final thought

This may be counter-intuitive, but hear me out. I have a sunny disposition. I am a happy and positive thinker most of the time. But, occasionally, and in small doses, a little negativity can be useful if it prods you into positive action.

For example, you ask yourself why when you see others getting promotions, and you’re stuck in the same old place. That small dose of negativity can spur you on to learn a new skill or come up with the next great idea. Now, you too have earned the deserved promotion.  

Thanks for reading this post, please share it with your friends and family.

For other slants on this topic, read below.

When And How Thoughts Affect Your Reality

Acting The Way You Want To Feel

Can I Change My Mindset?

Your mindset is a belief that can be changed

In the last post if you saw a need for a mindset change you may be asking yourself, can I change my mindset? Is it worth the effort? And the answer is a resounding YES. You can change your mindset if you believe you can.

Our beliefs have a profound impact on our behavior.  While our behaviors determine the quality of our lives, our beliefs largely determine our behaviors. Beliefs are really the core to everything you do and become.

“Anytime you use the words, I can’t, I have to, or I’m not good at, you’ve discovered a potential limiting belief.”

— JOSH KAUFMAN

It is along the same line as the half-empty/half-full concept. In both theories, it points out the power of having a positive mindset. There are positives in everything. Sometimes you must look harder to find them over the more apparent negatives.

For example, you are a hard worker and never give up, however, you never seem to get ahead. If you believe that you can only hold an entry-level job, you will never attempt anything else. In this instance, your life is dependent on changing whatever limiting beliefs you may have into new positive beliefs.

We all make choices in life; some of us choose to see the negative in everything, while other people undergoing the same situation see nothing but the positives. How can that be? Two people experiencing the same thing but emotionally feeling what they experience at opposite ends of the spectrum. It is almost as if each is wearing a set of glasses that categorize the experience differently.

Begin with how you feel

Before we get into the “how” of changing your mindset, let’s first look at why it is beneficial to see the positives in everything. The mind is a powerful thing in that it controls all parts of your body. Researchers have found in multiple studies that having a positive outlook produces some beneficial health benefits. For one, they found it increases the immune system. It is a proven fact that positive people are generally healthier both mentally and physically.

And positive people have a lower stress level because they can effectively deal with stress better. As a result, they have less cortisol careening through their body, a known hormone responsible for weight gain, so they control their weight better.

Besides having an improved immune system and better weight control, having a positive mindset also helps you:

· lower the risk of a cardiovascular event

· lower rates of depression

· and surprisingly live a longer life

Shift your mindset to one of positivity

While there are several things one can do to improve their mindset, here are some that provide the most benefits:

Begin your day with a positive affirmation –how you start the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. Many people like to write down their affirmation in a notebook or journal. Writing it down is more effective than just verbalizing it to yourself.

See the good in a situation -We all face conditions during our day that can be viewed as either good or bad. For example, if stuck in traffic, view it as an opportunity to listen to your favorite podcast or to your favorite music instead of a waste of time going nowhere.

Change negative self-talk into positive -Instead of saying “I’m so bad at doing this” say “I’ll be better at doing this after I have more practice.” At the least, you should tell yourself “I’m not very good at this -yet.”

Focus on today -The past is yesterday, there is nothing you can do about it; the future is tomorrow and not here yet, so there is little to be done about it; but today is now and you can either choose to experience it positively or negatively; the choice is yours!

Surround yourself with positive people -Positive people have a positive outlook on life, quote positive affirmations, and generally say positive things. Over time, these positive thoughts rub off on you, sink into your brain and you become a more positive person because of them. However, the opposite is true if you surround yourself with negative people. Again, it is your choice; choose wisely!

You Can Change Any Belief

If you have limiting beliefs, this process is designed to help you change them to beliefs that better serve you.

Write down your answers to these questions:

1.  Which belief do you want to change? You need to be able to see it to work with it effectively. So, write it down. For example, one limiting belief you might have is: I will never have a lot of money.

2.  What has the belief cost you? Make a list of all the ways this belief has negatively impacted your life. Really think about it, because it helps to have as much negative ammunition to get rid of that old belief as you can get. Spend some time; it might even take a couple of days to get a complete list.

3.  What advantages have the belief provided you? Maybe believing that you could never be wealthy has allowed you to avoid taking risks. Or perhaps it has allowed you to work in a profession that's easy for you. It might be hard to figure out what the advantages are, but they are there.

4.  What new belief would you like to have as a replacement? For example, for the belief listed above, a new replacement might be: I can make any amount of money I set my mind to. Be thoughtful and develop a new belief that will serve you well in the future.

5.  How is the new belief better than the old belief? Come up with an emotionally charged list of ways in which the new belief will impact your life for the better. Consider how you would feel. What could you become? How would your lifestyle change? Would it help other people around you?

6.  How can you start demonstrating the new belief today? Following our wealth theme, it might not be the right time to plan the interior of your private jet just yet. What could you do right now? Plan how you intend to make more money. Begin looking for a better-paying job? Look for ways to invest the money you already have? Even a small change can help the process.

It may not be easy at first but taking the time to complete the steps above will simplify it. Each day try to behave as if you hold the new belief. What would you wear? How would you speak? How would you view the world? How would you make decisions? How would you react to good news? Bad news?

Beliefs can be difficult to change, as they're frequently developed at a young age, so you might have lived in accordance with your limiting beliefs for a long time. However, with diligence and attention, they can be altered. Changing your beliefs will change your life.

My final thought

In this article, we covered some health benefits of having a positive mindset and some ways you can use it to become a more positive person. We also looked at beliefs and methods to alter their impact on your behaviors and mindsets. By working on these either singly or in tandem you are assured of positive changes in your mindset and your life.

Here is the link to What Is A Limiting Belief by Josh Kaufman.

And a previous post of mine Is Your Mindset Naturally Active or Passive.

I hope you enjoyed this post. Please share it with people you love.

Surround Yourself With Harmonious People

Acceptance

Everyone wants to be accepted just the way they are. Open-mindedness is essential among all people because we’re all different. Focusing on the commonalities we have while acknowledging our differences can allow us to meet each other harmoniously.

Familial relationships

These are usually the most important relationships we have and just as often the ones most fraught with the potential for hurt feelings or other painful complications. Disharmony with the people you care for most in the world is one of the quickest ways to put you out of sorts and ruin what may have been a peaceful day.

To live in harmony with these especially important people that we see at the breakfast or dinner table each day is a matter of self-interest. No one wants to live in icy silence for any length of time. It’s up to you to be the one who adjusts when necessary. Why you may ask?

The simple answer is that they may not care as much as you do about the harmony in their lives. Remember ultimately you are doing this for your peace. This is your chance to be both the teacher and the student.

Hopefully, if they are on the same page, they too are striving for harmony and will willingly meet you halfway.

Friendships

If you have a handful of people you can call “friends” then you are blessed. Many people come into your life and leave after a while. That is normal and natural. The few who remain and withstand time and difficulties become like a second family. Any disharmony with them can become a major pain-point in both of your lives.

Again, it must be you who works to maintain the harmony in that relationship. Often this involves encouragement, forbearance, or forgiveness. Yes, we all must live our own lives, but most of us are not equipped to do it alone.

So, you need to be worthy of this friend because you know the loss of this friendship can be a massive hole in your life and disrupt the overall harmony you want to experience.

Harmony with others begins with yourself.

Negativity is the enemy here, as in most things. You won’t find harmony in your life by being inconsiderate, rude, selfish, irritable, unscrupulous, or insincere. This kind of behavior brings only strife and keeps the people you want to be close to at bay.

Instead, surround yourself with harmonious thoughts and things that bring you peace. Reduce your negative aspects. Create a harmonious ritual for yourself. Keep it simple. Share it with others.

Do good deeds selflessly.

This is perhaps the most perfect harmony circle. When you do things for others without a thought for yourself, the depth of good feeling you receive is nearly indescribable.  

My final thought

Look for the blessings in your life rather than the problems. Be grateful for them. Say them aloud and write them down. I believe we should be respectful of all beings in the world. We don’t live in a vacuum, our world is a connection of intersecting pieces in a universal whole. It all needs to be cherished if we are to truly live harmoniously.

I sincerely hope you will share this post with your family and friends.

Finding Harmony Within The Stillness

Gram’s Wisdom 25: Internal harmony

As a teenager, I fell prey to the feeling that I’d be missing out on something if I didn’t have a school and social calendar with every moment filled. Unfortunately, what I felt was frazzled and drained. Nothing was fun

My Gram took me to task when she noticed I was burning the candle at both ends. First, she told me that I was out of harmony with my personality. Second, she said that doing too much didn’t allow me time to appreciate any one thing.  

Gram and I discussed the necessity of being still and listening to that inner voice that we all have. She told me that if I quietly listened this would be the place from which I could make my decisions and find internal harmony.

I bet you probably have friends and family who are always rushing about and complaining about their lack of alone time. Perhaps they don't even say anything about it because this is the way they have always been, and it seems normal to them. Every moment, they're busy. Maybe you're one of them.

If you examine the lives of overly busy people, you'll probably find that they're not contented, happy people. There's always much to do and so little time. Their lives are often out of sync. Perhaps you're reading this because you feel in a hurry yourself. Do whatever it takes to slow down and reap the benefits of being still.

Harmony is found in the quiet of mind and body

Gram said to me “You can be quiet in body and quiet in mind. Both are important.”  Being still physically saves you much energy and effort. You feel less depleted by the end of the day. Mental quietness has a similar effect on your psychological, intellectual, and emotional energy.

All you must do to achieve stillness of body is to finish your chores and then relax. Even while you complete your tasks, you can conserve energy by using little movement. If you batch similar tasks or confine yourself to tasks in a small area you use less energy.

The stillness of the mind is trickier to achieve. However, this kind of quietness is more crucial to your overall contentment because it also brings inner harmony. 

How do you feel when you get some shocking news? How about when you finally reach your target at work, win an award, or find yourself suddenly in a crisis? You feel a rush of adrenaline and you're off, letting off steam in a gush of emotion, words, or action.

So, if this is such an instinctive response to big changes, why do you need to nurture stillness? When you're in the middle, when you're centered, you can see both ends of the spectrum.

When you refrain from extreme reactions, you can regulate your response to the situation. You can be unbiased. Most importantly, you can learn from your circumstances and use them for self-development.

From another perspective, when you've adopted internal quietness, you're less likely to face extreme highs and lows.

These tips can aid your development of a still mind:

1.  Stop. In an extreme situation, pull away from the circumstance for a moment. Take a deep breath before you react. You are the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior

2.  Listen. Listen carefully to what's being said. If your mind jumps the gun with words you feel compelled to speak, bring it back to the moment. Return your attention to what the other is saying.

3.  Think. Consider why you're facing the situation. Did you play a part in creating it? Is the other simply mirroring you? What lesson can you learn from this circumstance?

If you take these steps, you'll be able to avoid overreacting or reacting negatively in haste. This means your response, when it does come, will be the right one for the circumstances and you.

 The value of silence to harmony

Another way to develop mental stillness is to practice silence. Speak only when necessary. Speak only when you have something important to say or something that will help the other. Stillness speaks, be the presence that listens.

Before you speak, examine your motivation for saying what you want to say. Is it to further the welfare of the other? Or is it to praise yourself or prove that you're right and the other wrong? A need to always seem right is the basis of many conflicts.

Moreover, when you're normally silent, your words have more impact. People pay attention when you speak.

As you work toward greater self-awareness, try developing internal stillness and inner harmony. Just follow these guidelines as a start. As you practice, you'll receive many rewards.

My final thought

I won’t say finding inner harmony is easy. It’s probably one of the more difficult things to achieve for yourself and one of the most beneficial. Though Gram and I always had a great rapport, I fought her on this. I was a know-it-all teen, so sue me. But the habit of a lifetime kicked in and I began to explore the idea. For nearly fifty years I have been grateful I did. Inner harmony brings happiness and peace that outer circumstances can’t take from you.

Thank you for reading this post. Please share it with your family and friends.