Seek gratitude-filled moments
I believe a gratitude mindset is the most important one and all good things flow from it. For many years, I have made looking for gratitude within any situation one of my primary habits. But it wasn’t always this way. Like most people, I believed what happens is either good or bad, and you felt grateful for what is good. Consequently, I was in pursuit of the good, the nice, and the safe to feel grateful for.
Quite by accident, my young daughter was bitten on her face by a dog. The surgeon told me how grateful I should feel, the bite had missed her eyes and she could still see. He also said her major facial nerves were intact, and she would be able to smile once she had healed.
I was certainly grateful to that doctor; I appreciated the years he had trained to be a surgeon, how gently he treated my two-year-old, and how he allayed my fears. But, even more, I was thankful for the reminder to be aware that there are things we can be grateful for in the worst circumstances.
How your gratitude was first introduced as a habit
Most of us have been taught something about gratitude early in life. From the time we become social beings, at age three or four, we're conditioned to say, "please and thank you" along with other words like "sorry" and "excuse me" by our elders, parents, and teachers at home and in school. Thank you — just two simple words that have been so recognizable since childhood, but they are the first expression of gratitude we are taught, and its meaning goes beyond simple politeness.
Gratitude holds real power
Gratitude is an exceptional habit to develop because of the limitless positive benefits associated with it. Living a positive life, which is so important, is associated with the attitude of gratitude. There are many scientific studies conducted on gratitude and there's no doubt how enormously powerful its benefits are.
However, it takes understanding and learning what the concept means to practice it effectively.
Gratitude is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Eventually, regularly practicing gratitude will help you turn it into a habit. Fortunately, gratitude is not an innate trait that you either have or you don't. That's a good thing because it means you can improve it the more you practice it.
Cultivate a singular gratitude habit
There are many ways to create a habit of gratitude. However, there is one very simple and powerful thing you can use to cultivate gratitude and turn it into a habit. It’s so simple that many people overlook it, yet it will do more to create and preserve an attitude of gratitude than anything else.
Acknowledge one thing that you are grateful for. And do it daily. Consistency is the key.
Acknowledge the good people and the good things in your life. Whether you are expressing yourself verbally to a loved one and telling them how grateful you are for their presence in your life, or you're quietly writing your gratitude list down in your private journal, the key to gratitude is simply expressing it. Express your gratitude by any means and do it daily.
Creating a good habit, a good mindset, as we all know, isn’t easy, but it’s worthwhile. Cultivating gratitude as a habit may be especially challenging when 'expressing gratitude,' 'saying thank you,' and simple 'gestures of appreciation' are unfamiliar to you.
Being unaware of the goodness around you
Many people today find it so easy to complain but impossible to appreciate anything and to express appreciation. It can be toxic, not only to other people you are directing your complaints to but, more importantly, to yourself. Negative thinking is toxic to your wellbeing as it leaves you blind and unable to see the good in most situations.
People who consistently complain are naturally drawn to negativity, but they are also resistant to accepting good things. It's like a curse that leaves you positivity resistant. You think, “why bother, I never get any breaks.” When people complain, they are essentially thinking negatively. It can be harmful as we know how negative thoughts lead to more stress, worrying, and anxiety.
A complaining habit mixes well with many negative emotions, such as feeling sad, anxious, and depressed. Complaints may appear natural and harmless, a common human reaction. However, most people realize that by doing so, they are magnifying negativity and readily creating more problems in their lives.
Here are powerful ways to develop a habit of gratitude.
Teach your brain to be grateful
Your subconscious mind directs 95% of your actions and thoughts. To create a habit, you need to plant it on a subconscious level. This is where the reticular activating system comes into play.
The reticular activating system (RAS) is the door through which nearly all information enters the brain. The RAS filters the incoming information affecting what you pay attention to.
You can teach your brain to consciously be more grateful by actively looking for things that make you feel gratitude. It will seem difficult at first if it's not natural for your brain to react that way.
Your conscious mind is doing most of the heavy lifting at this point; you are learning a new skill. But with consistent practice, it should only take a few weeks for your brain to recalibrate itself and adapt to your new perspective, which is gratitude.
Promoting positivity using helpful tools
A gratitude journal can balance out your natural bias towards negativity by shifting to a positive perspective. That's why it is a powerful tool you can use to establish a new gratitude habit. Create gratitude lists daily. Reading positive books, gratitude quotes, and affirmations will also help increase your gratitude awareness.
Connect with Other People
Gratitude is a social emotion. Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on Gratitude, says that "people are more likely to feel grateful when they put their focus on others, rather than getting caught up in their own inner narratives about how things should have gone. Empathy for others can trigger a sense of gratitude."
My final thought
I often think of the words by Anaïs Nin; “We see things not as they are, but as we are.” If we live negatively, that is what we’ll see, but if we see things in a positive light, we’ll have much to be grateful for.
For more information, read these posts.
Cultivating Your Gratitude Then Practice Daily
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