Cultivate Your Gratitude Then Practice Daily

Changing your life with gratitude

While most people are unaware of the amazing power that gratitude has and how it can transform their lives for the better. Yet, some believe in the ability we all have of improving our lives by expressing gratitude for what we already have. When you practice gratitude each day you will see changes in your life very quickly and be amazed at the transformation that it makes.

This article is meant to provide you with some examples of how gratitude can make your life a lot better. You need to have the complete inside track on how gratitude can transform your life so that you’ll be inspired to make this significant change in your life. So read these examples and then get working on your attitude of gratitude right away.

Gratitude helps you maintain a happier mood

It’s easy to fall into a bad mood if you don’t have an attitude of gratitude. If someone has done something that upsets you, rather than becoming angry at them why not express some gratitude towards them instead?  Understandably this is not an easy thing to do and it does require some practice, but the results will certainly be worth it.

You will find when you do this that your mood will change from a negative frustrated or angry state to a happier state of being. This is especially useful in your relationships with coworkers as well as friends and family. Don’t allow things they do to annoy you, put you in a bad mood, or provoke an argument. Instead, think about how grateful you are for the helpful or nice things they normally do and tell them this. You and they will feel better for it.

Gratitude improves your love relationship

The number of break-ups and divorces in the world today are rising at an alarming rate. People are frazzled and tend to fly off the handle with their partner over the smallest of things. If you are someone that frequently criticizes your partner for their failings, then try changing your approach and show them gratitude instead.

It should be easy for you to recall things that your spouse does that you are grateful for when you put your mind to it. Hey, it could be you are grateful that they ignore your failings. But whatever it is tell your partner why you are grateful they in your life and make them feel warm and fuzzy. Notice how their face changes and what words they say in reply. Gratitude will certainly help you make your relationship stronger if you give it a try.

Parent better with gratitude

If you have children, then it’s easy for you to become frustrated with them. They do things that you don’t want them to do and this leads to anger and disappointment. In this situation, most parents express their disappointment to their kids which just creates a negative atmosphere.

Rather than criticizing your kids and having them feel bad about themselves, think about why you are grateful to have your children and tell them this. This will lighten both your moods straight away and everyone will feel better for the experience.

Gratitude helps you cope with the loss

If you experience a loss in your life be it losing a loved one, your job, or something else important then think about the people and things remaining in your life and express your gratitude for them. We all face major knocks in life at some time or another and the most important thing is that you don’t allow it to overcome you.

When expressing your gratitude for the people and things that you still have in your life it will be easier to move forward positively. In the future as the pain of your loss recedes you should begin to feel grateful for the happy memories of the past.

Cultivating your gratitude

We lead busy lives these days and it can be a challenge to take time to ponder about the things in your life that you can be grateful for. But doing this is fundamental, as you will receive some incredible benefits from being grateful and for expressing your thanks for what you have in your life right now.    

Stop and look around you

Commit to pause several times during the day and ask yourself the question “what am I truly grateful for in my life?” You can also ask yourself “who are the most important people in my life and why am I grateful for them?”

When you ask yourself these questions your subconscious mind will arrive at any number of answers for you. Take these answers and evaluate why the people or things are so important for you and express your gratitude for having them in your life. This should not take you long to do each day and will improve your habit of looking for things to be grateful for.

Take a long look at yourself

Being grateful for the qualities that you possess is a powerful way to cultivate your gratitude and increase your self-esteem. Think about what you have achieved recently and the challenges that you’ve had to overcome. You can think back to your past for some good examples of this as well.

You can look beyond the things that you have achieved as well. What other traits do you possess that you are proud of? Are you compassionate and kind to others? Do you have good empathy skills? Are you dependable and loyal toward your partner, your family, and your friends? There are always lots of things that you can come up with about yourself.

What do you take for granted?

When people are starting on their attitude of gratitude journey, they will usually think about the bigger things in their life to be grateful for but please don’t limit yourself to this. The little things in your life are often more important to you.

Just open your eyes and look around you. If you are at home, then notice the wonderful things that surround you to make your life beautiful, easier, and more enjoyable. Take a walk outside and look at the beauty of nature as well.

Have a morning and evening ritual

It is easy to forget about expressing your gratitude in modern life. So, if you want to have plenty to be grateful for, you should create a new routine where you will think about things to be grateful for in the morning when you wake up and before you go to bed at night.

Think about 3 things that you can be grateful for at these times. It does not matter if they are big or small things. In the morning it could be the simple fact that you are grateful for a new day ahead while in the evening it can be that you accomplished your goals. Write down the 3 things in the morning and evening in a gratitude journal so that you can reflect on these later.

My final thought

I have noticed that some people feel like everyone else has things to be grateful for while they have little or nothing for which to be grateful. They take for granted their good health rather than expressing thanks for it. It is this attitude that prevents them from having more. Simply put, when you express gratitude for what you have you will receive more to be grateful for.

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Can Mindfulness Improve Chronic Pain?

Mindfulness and chronic pain.

I want to talk about chronic pain. It’s inconvenient, obviously painful, often debilitating, and causes an array of other issues when conventional treatments fail. I have suffered from Migraine headaches for nearly fifty years and I am always grateful that I have days or even as many as three weeks at a pain-free time. Because I have refused to take any kind of medication, I learned early in my life to have a fallback routine for the “lost” days. While this has helped immensely it’s nothing more than a band-aid and I had continued to search for pain relief.

Chronic pain sufferers commonly experience anything from anxiety and depression to pain medication side-effects and addiction. All of this on top of excruciating pain that can’t seem to be controlled. Using the mindfulness approach for chronic pain may be just what the doctor didn’t know to order. I only discovered and began to use this for my migraine pain a couple of months ago.

Mindfulness is, simply put, paying close attention, and maintaining direct focus. Being brave enough to gracefully embrace a moment, good or bad, and know that it’s okay to let it go. Yes, it sounds terrifying to a chronic pain sufferer to pay more attention to the pain. Still, you should continue reading. I intend to make it clear how mindfulness for chronic pain can be highly beneficial and even help eliminate pain almost completely when practiced properly.

Some practical mindfulness techniques.

A common relaxation technique over the years has been to, tense up each part of the body, individually, count to 10, and then release your hold. The object is to notice exactly how tense you were, to begin with, and to physically feel the tension go away. You would typically begin at your head and gradually work your way down each body part until your entire body is completely relaxed.

For instance, you could start with your face by crinkling your forehead, squeezing your eyes together, pursing your lips, and clenching your teeth. Inhale through your nose, hold the tension as tight as you can for 10 seconds and then slowly exhale through your mouth. Feel the muscles relax in your face and head.

Feel the tension and stress leave your body. Notice how you feel the blood start to move again and how invigorated yet relaxed and calm it makes you feel. How completely aware you feel. This is the same premise as mindfulness for chronic pain.

The idea is to get closer to the pain, acknowledge it, assess it, and allow it to go. Accept that the pain is there, without judgment, which is the hardest part. Naturally, chronic pain and all that accompanies it is seen as negative.

Focus on pain relief.

But just for this exercise, try and view it neutrally. Shake hands with the pain as if it’s the first time you’re meeting a new neighbor. Visualize the pain. And when you exhale, let the pain move on.

Substantial pain relief may not be immediate, but if you are mindful and continue practicing mindfulness for chronic pain, the decrease in pain will gradually happen. It takes practice and focus, but it’s well worth the effort considering the damage other treatment measures can potentially cause to your body, mind, and spirit.

It also helps to alter your mindset on the pain itself. Your approach should be to understand your pain, individually describe the sensations you notice with and without the mindfulness exercises, and create a deeper awareness of equanimity.

If you enter this with the idea that your pain needs to be “fixed”, if you aren’t extremely successful on your first shot of meditation, your mind will interpret that as “failure”. And mindfulness for chronic pain is so much more than simple success and/or failure.

Mindfulness will help you achieve a more accurate perception of the pain. You essentially retrain your brain to calculate pain differently. Think about it; your mind doesn’t feel the pain, but it sure lets you know on a scale, how bad it might feel.

For your brain to differentiate the intensity of pain, it first had to send signals down to the core of the pain, which was then interpreted as even greater pain. It’s like poking a really bad bruise. Ouch!

Mindfulness, life, and pain connection.

Mindfulness for chronic pain isn’t about erasing pain. Mindfulness is a phenomenal and powerful method to help you live a full life even with the pain. Your focus is no longer on the outside obstacles but on accepting what’s going on inside your body and having an alternate relationship with it.

You get to choose your reactions, believe it or not, and mindfulness for chronic pain assists in just that. With practice and determination, you can and will change your pain response. Think of all the added benefits like less narcotic pain medication, less chance for addiction to medications, as well as decreased anxiety and depression symptoms.

What about the fact that you can begin again to live a meaningful, active life without spending the majority of your energy on avoiding any pain breakthrough?

Mindfulness for chronic pain has endless potential and the results can affect multiple areas of your life. There’s no reason not to give it a try.

My final thought 

My pain management is admittedly a work in progress. What pleases me is the reduction of the pain and the length of time the migraine lasts when I practice this technique. I attribute this to a lessening of the associated stress and anxiety I feel now that I have taken a more hands-on approach.

I hope you enjoyed this post and will share it with your family and friends.

Mindfulness Relationship Exercises

Gram’s Wisdom 18: Relationships, mindfulness, and couples

My Gram and Grandpa frequently did little things for one another. He always took care of her car. She just had to get in and drive. But what sent Gram over the moon was the fresh oyster stew he would cook for her twice or three times a year. We lived in a small landlocked Indiana town, so he got big brownie points for that. She in turn would shovel snow occasionally from the house to the garage when he had to go to work in the middle of the night.

In the last several weeks, my honey, Michael, and I have been, like so many others, doing home improvement projects. As I wrote in a previous post Gram was not a big advocate of spending vacation time for that. Still, with four dogs and the current situation, vacation seems far off at this time.

None the less a couple of the projects were done with me, specifically in mind. To make me happy and relieve my worry. My Gram would have said this was mindfully done with an open heart.

I will place links at the bottom of this post to both of those previous posts.

 Pay attention to your relationship

It’s no lie that a good relationship is hard work. People are busy with life and simply neglect to nurture their union. Usually, it turns into a conflict for the time between family, work, and self-care. With all that happens in a day or even a week, what’s left-over for maintaining a relationship? Exactly that, leftovers.

Unintentionally, we often overlook giving our partner what is necessary for a healthy relationship. Mindfulness for a couple is used mainly in couples counseling sessions by professionals. But why wait until there’s so much agitation between you that couch time in a therapists’ office becomes necessary? There are plenty of practices you could initiate now!

Let’s take a look at the mindfulness concept. In a nutshell, the practice of mindfulness is being present in the moment. Becoming aware of the situation at hand and accepting, without judgment, what’s happening. It might sound complicated but it’s rather simple, it just takes practice.

How does mindfulness benefit a relationship?

Mindfulness actions for a couple are much the same as for you alone. Only with your partner. No, not necessarily breathing exercises (although a deep breath where you think before you speak is always a good thing) but there are plenty of other exercises you can do with your mate that will help develop a greater understanding of their emotional state.

Waiting until you are in the middle of a screaming match before trying to meaningfully communicate can be less than effective. But by that point, who is willing to listen, when words go flying and feelings get mutilated? Frequently this is followed by regret and hopefully an apology or (shudder) even the silent treatment; neither of which are truly healthy.

“When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another - and ourselves.”

— Jack Kornfield

So, let’s take a look at some specific mindfulness for couple’s techniques that might be useful:

A daily affirmation

It’s one thing to tell your love that you appreciate something they are doing or have done, but when you give them your undivided attention, look them in the eyes and follow the affirmation with how it makes you feel, it is far more appreciatively received, and it sticks.

To go a step further, your partner would effectively reiterate what you’ve just told them in their own words. For example, “I love it when you rub my back after a long day at work; it makes me feel like you’ve seen that I’m tense and want to help.” Your partner would then follow-up with his interpretation of what you’ve just relayed.

A mindful date night

Sounds simple enough right? But there are rules! Put your devices down if you are enjoying a meal together, look one another in the eyes, and engage in meaningful conversation. Avoid topics that would cause critique or conflict. Open your ears and listen to what your partner is saying without thinking of an immediate response while they are still talking. Then acknowledge that you have sincerely heard what was said.

If you go to a movie or a play, hold hands while sitting, share the same popcorn and soda, and then talk about your opinions on the show afterward. Any event will work and if you don’t share the same ideas on what you should do, alternate venues.

He wants to see a movie and you want to have dinner on the beach. Easy. One thing this week, the other next week. Be excited to spend quality time with one another and fully engage, mindfully, and purposefully. Whatever you do, don’t skip out on your mate and reschedule!

Most importantly, if it’s not “your thing”, don’t disassociate. Make an extra effort to consciously focus on your partner and fully participate in the event. Make new memories. That is what mindfulness is and does.

Memories and mindfulness

Sit down with your loved one and create a list of things that make each of you happy and deliriously in love. Remember when you were dating, and he brought you flowers or when she would nibble on your ears? Write. It. Down.

Use a list or even cut these suggestions out on strips of paper and place them in a jar. Each week grab one out and do it. Suggestions? Hold hands while watching TV. Bring a surprise home after work; a candy bar, a new perfume, a flower you picked from the neighbor’s yard… anything, but make sure it’s sincere.

Write a love note to your partner. Be specific about what it is you love about him/her. Cook and serve a favorite meal. Grocery shop together. These things are simple but can mean the world to your lover and your relationship.

Mindfulness for couples doesn’t mean you must gaze into each other’s eyes and affirm your undying affection. There are endless “exercises” you could include in your daily lives that will create mutual love and adoration. And when you are mindful of your love and adoration guess what happens? You are less likely to explode during the difficult conversations inevitable in any relationship.

Engage mindfully with your partner

Engaging your conscious mind to be more mindfully aware of loving and being loved will move your relationship from a should be/could be/would be existence to a “this is” experience.

You both will subconsciously reflect on how loved you are and that you are in this together, thus creating a stronger bond and much greater respect for your mate. It’s a win-win! Don’t stop with these few suggestions though. Find what works best in your relationship and for your given situation.

You wouldn’t neglect to give yourself food or water, right? Relationships take continuous work and nurturing as well. Mindfulness for a couple is work, yes, but it’s so worth it! Give your partnership the fuel it deserves to grow and succeed!

My final thought

I think this all boils down to attention, awareness, and presence. Our lives get busy and it becomes a catch-all excuse. We shouldn’t allow that most important person in our life to feel as if we no longer see them, hear them, or care enough to spend quality time with them.

Here are the links to the posts I mentioned above.

How Mindfulness Helps You Enjoy the Journey 

Simple Love and Care Advice for Couples

Thank You for reading this post and I hope you will share it with your family and friends.