Models For A Mindful Life

Gram’s Wisdom 59:

My Gram wouldn’t have heard/known the term mindfulness, yet she lived her life in a mindful way. She was in touch with her surroundings, in touch with herself, and in touch with people. Gram always found time to go outside take a walk and listen while the earth and nature spoke. If I was having a particularly bad day, I was told to shut my eyes, take a deep breath, and try to see myself differently. Gram told me once that there was no better way to learn something new than to have simple conversations with others.

If you have made the decision to be more mindful in your daily life but aren't exactly sure where to start, you have come to the right place! Below are ten practices you can adopt to make practice easier.

1) Observe new distinctions.

Mindfulness is a powerful practice that invites you to engage with the present moment in a way that goes beyond mere existence. One key aspect of mindfulness involves actively observing new distinctions. Picture it like tuning into the subtle details of your surroundings, emotions, or your thoughts. When you make a conscious effort to notice the nuances and distinctions in your experiences, a remarkable change occurs. It's like seeing the world with fresh eyes, discovering the beauty in the ordinary. This intentional observation enriches your understanding of the present and brings about a rush of positive effects. The more you explore your daily life, the more you find to appreciate and savor.

Moreover, actively observing new characteristics heightens interest in your life. It's like turning the pages of a captivating book, eager to discover what happens next. By paying attention to the details, you become an active participant rather than a passive spectator in the narrative of your existence. This increased engagement with the present moment deepens your connection to life and opens the door to greater fulfillment. Embrace mindful observation, seek out the subtleties that make each moment unique, and cultivate a more enriched and meaningful life experience.

2) See in yourself a “work in progress.”

Shifting your perspective is another crucial aspect of mindfulness that can significantly impact your well-being. Often, you get caught up in the pursuit of a specific outcome, whether it's acing a project, achieving a fitness goal, or mastering a new skill. However, the magic lies in enjoying the process rather than fixating on the result. When you savor the journey, every small step becomes a victory, and the overall experience becomes more rewarding. It's akin to appreciating the brushstrokes on a canvas rather than obsessing over the finished painting. By embracing this mindset, you not only reduce stress and anxiety but also adopt a genuine sense of joy in your actions.

Furthermore, the way you perceive yourself plays a fundamental role in your mindfulness journey. When you’ve boxed yourself into rigid and negative labels, like declaring, "I am bad at art," you limit your potential. Viewing yourself as a fixed entity makes you susceptible to mindless thinking, and these negative thoughts can inadvertently manifest as self-fulfilling prophecies. Instead, acknowledge that, like a piece of clay, you are ever-changing and malleable. Embracing this flexibility allows you to break free from self-imposed limitations.

3) Examine paradoxes. 

Delving into the scope of paradoxes offers a unique pathway to personal growth and resilience. Actively paying attention to these seemingly contradictory aspects of life enables the development of a profound skill: the ability to accept and tolerate ambiguity. Life is intricate, filled with situations that may appear contradictory at first glance, but exploring these paradoxes helps you navigate the nuances with grace. As you become more skilled at accepting ambiguity, the anxiety often associated with uncertainty begins to subside. It's like learning to dance through the uncertainties of life rather than feeling paralyzed by them.

Additionally, this practice of actively considering paradoxes extends beyond external circumstances and becomes a valuable tool for self-discovery. Recognizing the paradoxes within yourself is a transformative process. It involves admitting the complexities that make you uniquely human—your strengths alongside your vulnerabilities, your successes connected with your challenges. By shining a light on these internal paradoxes, you encourage a deeper sense of self-awareness. This self-awareness allows you to make more intentional choices and furthers a greater understanding of your motivations and behaviors.

4) Add humor to mindfulness.

Laughter, often hailed as the best medicine, carries with it a profound connection to mindfulness. Humor has a remarkable way of prompting us to step back and view situations from unexpected angles. It's like a mental gymnastics routine that nudges you out of your habitual thought patterns, encouraging a fresh perspective. When you find humor in your life or situations, you're essentially engaging in a form of mindfulness. It's not just about the punchline; it's about the mental agility required to recognize the unexpected and appreciate the lightness amid life's complexities. By tapping into this humorous mindset, you become more resilient and better equipped to navigate challenges with a sense of playfulness and optimism.

Also, the ability to find humor in life contributes to a greater acceptance of your circumstances. Laughter serves as a tool in breaking down the barriers of resistance or frustration. It doesn't necessarily diminish the seriousness of a situation, but it provides a coping mechanism that allows you to approach challenges with a lighter heart. This acceptance is rooted in mindfulness, as it involves a sharpened awareness of the present moment and an openness to finding joy even in the face of adversity. Celebrate the therapeutic power of laughter, seeing in it a conscious choice to embrace the unexpected with a smile.

5) Consider other points of view.

Approaching a problem from various perspectives not only enhances problem-solving skills but also contributes to a greater sense of acceptance. When you limit yourself to a fixed interpretation of a situation, it becomes challenging to navigate and accept the nuances that may exist. Considering the viewpoints of different people opens a world of possibilities, making the problem more palatable. Here are some key points to highlight the benefits of embracing diverse perspectives:

• Enhanced Problem-Solving: By considering various viewpoints, you tap into a collective pool of ideas and solutions, enriching your problem-solving approach.

• Increased Empathy: Understanding different perspectives cultivates empathy, promoting a more compassionate and open-minded approach to problem acceptance.

• Reduced Resistance: Embracing diverse viewpoints minimizes the resistance that often arises from rigid interpretations, making it easier to acknowledge and work through challenges.

• Cultivation of Creativity: Diverse perspectives fuel creativity, encouraging you to think outside the box and explore innovative solutions to problems.

• Facilitation of Learning: Engaging with different viewpoints is a learning opportunity, promoting personal and intellectual growth by expanding your understanding of various facets of a situation.
  
  

6) Choose positive alternatives to your problems.

In the face of challenges or undesirable outcomes, it's crucial to shift your mindset from mere problem recognition to one of potential growth. Every problem, no matter how daunting, possesses a silver lining waiting to be uncovered. Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects, ask yourself, "How can this problem contribute to my ongoing personal and professional development?" By reframing the situation as an opportunity for growth, you pave the way for a more resilient and positive perspective. Challenges are not roadblocks; they are bridges offering valuable insights and lessons that contribute to resilience and wisdom.

Each problem is the classroom, and you’re the student. What lessons can be taken away from the current predicament? Is there a skill to be honed, a perspective to be gained, or a strength to be discovered? Embracing problems as learning opportunities positions you as an active participant in your own life. Moreover, recognizing the potential for opportunity in every problem fosters a sense of curiosity and adaptability, converting what could be perceived as a disaster into an exciting adventure. The difference lies not in the problem itself but in how you choose to identify and engage with it.

7) Keep a joy collection.

Building a joy collection is like curating a treasure trove of happiness readily available whenever you need a mood boost. This collection can take various forms, from written paragraphs vividly describing joyful moments to an assortment of photos capturing those special times. The key is to make these memories easily accessible, creating a go-to source of positivity. In the hustle and bustle of life, it's all too common to get caught up in the challenges and setbacks, inadvertently overlooking the reservoir of joyous experiences that shape our lives.

The significance of reflecting on positive moments has been shown to elevate your positive mental state. Your joy collection serves as a personal archive of happiness, reminding you of the laughter, accomplishments, and simple pleasures that have graced your journey. Whether it's revisiting the description of a cherished memory or flipping through photos that encapsulate moments of pure joy, your joy collection becomes a powerful tool for cultivating gratitude and maintaining a brighter outlook on life.

8) Create a mindful journal.

Beginning or concluding your day with the practice of documenting significant events adds a touch of mindfulness that can profoundly impact your overall well-being. This routine not only helps in reflection but also in cultivating a heightened awareness of your experiences. Here are several examples to consider as you embark on this mindful journaling journey:

1 | Expressing Gratitude: Jot down moments that made you feel grateful during the day, whether they were small gestures or significant events.

2 | Achievements and Milestones: Document your accomplishments, whether big or small, celebrating your progress and recognizing your efforts.

3 | Challenges Overcome: Note instances where you faced challenges and successfully navigated through them, highlighting your resilience.

4 | Acts of Kindness: Record both the kindness you received and the kindness you extended, fostering a sense of connection and goodwill.

5 | Beautiful Sights or Sounds: Capture the beauty in your surroundings, from a breathtaking sunrise to the soothing sounds of nature.

6 | New Learnings: Write about insights gained or lessons learned during the day, fostering continuous personal growth.

7 | Reflections on Challenges: Explore your thoughts and emotions surrounding challenges, fostering a deeper understanding of your responses.

8 | New Perspectives: Consider events from different angles, noting any shifts in your perspective and understanding of situations.

The mindful reviewing of these entries promotes a more conscious and appreciative approach to life.

9) Engage in mindful exercise. 

Engaging in physical activities like walking, biking, or weightlifting provides an excellent opportunity to cultivate mindfulness in your daily routine. As you embark on these activities, take a moment to immerse yourself fully in the experience. Feel the rhythm of your footsteps or the resistance of the weights, notice the sights around you, and breathe in the scents of your surroundings. This heightened awareness not only deepens your connection to the present moment but also tunes you into the messages your body is sending. By consistently practicing mindfulness during these activities, you develop a familiarity with the mental state, making it more accessible in other aspects of your life. This carries over into decision-making as the clarity and presence cultivated through these physical practices lay a foundation for making more intentional choices in various areas of your life.

10) Change up your routine.

Venturing into the realm of the unfamiliar by trying new things is a deliberate approach to staying mindful and invigorating your daily routine. It's the small, intentional deviations from the norm, such as choosing a different place to sit, taking an alternate route home, or exploring a new restaurant, that inject a sense of novelty into your experiences. These seemingly minor acts disrupt your habitual patterns and, in turn, prompt you to be fully present in the moment. The world becomes a canvas of possibilities when you break away from the usual, allowing you to notice details that might have gone unnoticed in your routine. This practice extends beyond the physical realm, as it encourages you to adopt a fresh perspective on life, reminding you that every experience, no matter how small, holds the potential for newfound awareness and appreciation.

My final thoughts.

As with so many things in my life I have my Gram to thank for the beginning of a lifelong mindfulness practice. She always said that life was a gift and that it needed attention. So, each year I pay a little more attention because I believe life is a miracle, and it should not be wasted.

Thank you for reading this post, I hope you have enjoyed it.

For more information, check out these posts.

10 Easy Ways To Be Mindful While Doing Every Day Tasks.

Establishing The Essential Principles Of Mindfulness.

Mindfulness And Presence Techniques For Beginners

Gram’s Wisdom 51 Stop, look and listen.

Though the terms were foreign to her, my Gram practiced mindfulness and presence every day of her life. She called what she did focusing on the here and now. When I was young, she explained to me that I should stop and look at how much beauty there is to see everywhere in every season. And stop to listen to the hum of bees, water rushing over rocks, or the songs of birds. 

Many were the times when she would light a scented candle, and we would prepare a pot of tea together in the evening. Sometimes we would talk quietly and listen to hear what the other had said. At other times we would listen to music that we both loved or just sit in companionable silence.

In the early hours of the morning, Gram and I would sit together on the porch listening to the birds sing and watching the sunrise. She would tell me what she was grateful for. And I was absorbing a mindfulness practice that had no name but has grounded me and carried me every day of my life. Thanks, Gram.

The central ideas of mindfulness and presence.

Mindfulness and presence are two central ideas today. With the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it can be difficult to find time to focus on the present moment. However, mindfulness and presence techniques can help to bring tranquility and focus into your life.

Presence and mindfulness are not only important for your mental health, but they can also help you to be more productive and efficient in your life. When you’re present, you can focus on what is in front of you and not be distracted by your thoughts. When you’re mindful, you can be aware of your thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them or judging them.

Various mindfulness practices are easy and accessible to new practitioners. Try implementing some of the techniques below and see how quickly you can get a grasp on your thoughts and shift them to an inspiring mindset.

Breathe.

One way to practice mindfulness is easily accessible at any time - breathing. Focusing on the breath is a great way to calm the mind. And provide a tranquil environment in which the mind can slow down and allow for curiosity and creativity. Breathing deeply brings calm to the mind and the body and adds fresh oxygen to our brain which allows new thoughts to develop. Breathing brings the body to calmness and regulates the nervous system.

One breathing technique is to focus on your inhales and exhales, counting each one as you breathe. You can also focus on the feeling of your breath as it moves in and out of your body. Another breathing technique is to imagine your breath as a wave, flowing in and out of your body. You can also bring your awareness to your body and how it feels to be breathing. If you notice tension in your body, you can focus on relaxing the muscles.
 

“Eternity belongs to those who live in the present.”

— LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN

Drink tea.

One way to bring mindfulness to the moment is to drink tea with a calm and peaceful quietude. When we drink tea, we can also take deep breaths and take breaks in between sips to allow spaciousness in the mind. This is a simple task, but the key is to be present in the moment and pay attention to the act of drinking tea.

Take a few deep breaths and focus your attention on the act of organizing the tea. Which do you prefer a mug or teacup and saucer? In what form do you like your tea a tea bag or loose-leaf tea don’t forget the tea ball. As you prepare the tea, listen to the sound of the boiling water. Inhale the scent of the tea as it rises with the steam from the cup. Once the tea has steeped, sit down, and take a few slow sips, savoring the flavor and the warmth.

Notice how your body feels as you drink the tea. Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions, letting them come and go without judgment. Just be with the tea and the moment. Drinking tea can be an excellent way to relax and de-stress. The key is to be mindful of the experience and to be present in the moment. By paying attention to the sights, sounds, and sensations, you create a sense of serenity and peace.  

Write a gratitude list.

Making a list of gratitude is an amazing practice of mindfulness. It is a practice of noticing the gifts, grace, and good in your life. Gratitude lists are a way of acknowledging the abundance in your life. Some people find it helpful to keep a daily gratitude list, others do it weekly, or only occasionally. However often you choose to do it, gratitude lists are a way of reminding you of the good things you have. They can also help you to focus on the positive aspects of life.

Each morning, evening, or whenever you can make time throughout the day, sit with a pen and paper and write a list of things you are grateful for. Maybe you set a timer for 3 minutes to write about what you are grateful for or commit to writing down 3 things from the day that you are grateful for. Items on a gratitude list could be big or small, something from the past, or something happening in the present time. Bringing gratitude into the mind is a great practice and can lead to a greater number of positive feelings and recognition of positive experiences.

Here is a sample gratitude list.

1.  I am grateful for my abundant health.

2. I am grateful to my family and friends.

3. I am grateful for my job.

4. I am grateful for the shelter of my home.

5. I am grateful for my dog, Houdini.

6. I am grateful for my ability to walk.

7. I am grateful for the sun shining today.

8. I am grateful for the rain that watered my garden.

9. I am grateful for the food in my refrigerator.

10. I am grateful for my bed, where I will sleep comfortably tonight.

Light a candle.

Lighting a candle is another way to bring mindfulness into your life. As you light the candle, take a moment to notice the sensation of touching the match to the wick. Feel the heat of the flame as it springs to life, the scent of the smoke, and the sight of the flickering flame. Take the time to sit with it and watch it. Fire is one of the most fundamental aspects of nature. It reminds us that we are strong and peaceful and ever-changing.

You can light a candle and sit calmly in front of it and enjoy its presence. Watching a flame flicker can be incredibly calming. Don’t try to control your thoughts or stop them from coming. Allow them to come and go as they please while you concentrate your attention on the flame. It’s okay if your mind wanders. Just return your focus to the flame. As you practice, you’ll find that you can focus on the flame for longer periods.

Listening Meditation.

Listening is one of the most basic and important human skills. You rely on it to communicate, learn, and interact with others. Regrettably, in the fast-paced, modern world, it’s all too easy to get caught up in our thoughts and fail to listen to what others are saying. Mindfulness and presence techniques can help you slow down, focus your attention, and listen to what others have to say. 

A practice of mindfulness that can be implemented anywhere is an audible or listening meditation. Wherever you are, you can take a moment to listen to the sounds around you and recognize where you are and what your sense of hearing is experiencing. Listen to the birds singing, the breeze rustling through the trees, the sounds of traffic, or whatever else you can hear. Don’t try to do anything with the sounds, just be aware of them. If your mind wanders, simply bring your attention back to the surrounding sounds. Listening mindfulness is a practice that can be transformative for attention to the present moment.

Benefits of being present.

When you are fully present in the moment, you are open to new experiences and new ways of seeing things. You are also better able to manage difficult situations and make wiser decisions. The following are additional benefits of being present:

• You are better able to appreciate the good things in life.

• You are better able to connect with others.

• You are better able to find meaning in life.

• You are better able to live in the present moment.

• You are better able to let go of the past and embrace the future.

Mindfulness and presence techniques can be used to improve your mental and emotional well-being. Practicing these techniques can help you to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, and to manage any stress and anxiety you may have. With regular practice, you may find that you concentrate better, sleep better, and feel more relaxed and positive.

My final thoughts are.

If you're looking to add mindfulness and presence practices to your life, there are many different techniques you can try. Some key techniques include focusing on your breath and noticing your thoughts and emotions. By incorporating these techniques into your daily life, you can begin to experience the benefits of mindfulness, such as increased focus, decreased anxiety, and improved well-being.

For more information, read these posts.

Mindfulness For Beginners.

10 Best Reasons For You To Become Mindful.

Thank you for reading this post.

Establishing The Essential Principles Of Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a process of active and openhearted attention to the present moment. It is about paying attention to our thoughts, feelings, and surroundings in a non-judgmental way. When we are mindful, we are not trying to alter or fix anything. We are simply observing what is happening in the present moment, with interest and compassion. Mindfulness can help us to live more fully and with greater clarity. It can lift our mood and awareness and improve our relationships. It is a tool that we can use to respond, rather than react, to the stresses and challenges of life.

Essential principles of mindfulness.

These principles are the foundation on which mindfulness is built. But they are by no means the only principles for mindfulness. By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to accept your thoughts and emotions, be curious about your experiences, and be present in the moment.

Freedom from judgment.

Mindfulness is the practice of present-moment awareness. It is the quality of being an impartial witness to your experience without judgment. Mindfulness allows you to see things as they are, without your ideas, thoughts, or beliefs getting in the way. When you’re caught up in your thoughts, it is easy to get caught up in judgment. You may judge yourself for not being good enough, or judge others for their mistakes. But when you’re mindful, you can see that thoughts are just that, and they are not reality.

When you’re mindful, you are also aware of your emotions and their impact. You may have judgments about your emotions, thinking they’re good or bad. But when you’re mindful, you become observant of your stream of consciousness, and instead of trying to control it, let it go. You can then choose how to respond, rather than reacting automatically.

Mindfulness also allows you to be more present in your relationships. You can see the other person more clearly, without your preconceptions and assumptions getting in the way. You can listen more deeply and be more responsive to their needs. The practice of mindfulness can help you to live more fully in the present moment. And to be more open and compassionate with yourself and others.

Having patience.

Allow things to take their time unfolding. When you're trying to learn mindfulness, one of the core principles is to have patience with yourself. That doesn't mean that you won't make mistakes or have setbacks - in fact, it's typical to have both of those things. What it does mean is that you need to be okay with taking your time and not rushing yourself.

Every moment is valuable just as they come. Be open to those moments and accept them. This can be a difficult principle to follow, especially if you're a perfectionist, or you're accustomed to moving quickly through things. Try to understand that things will emerge in their own time. But remember that mindfulness is about being present in the moment, and that takes practice. It's not something that you can learn overnight.

So, be patient with yourself. Don't expect to be perfect. And don't become discouraged if you have a difficult time at first. Mindfulness is a journey, not a destination. And the more you practice, the closer you'll get to living in the present moment - which is the goal.

Begin to see the possibilities.

Often, your beliefs stop you from seeing things as they are. Be willing to see everything for the first time. It's amazing how your life can change when you see the unique possibilities in each moment. You can begin to see new opportunities and feel more optimistic about the future.

View people with fresh eyes, seeing them as they are. Your relationships can improve, and you can feel more connected to others. You can become more successful at work and feel more fulfilled. It all begins with seeing the possibilities. And when you do, everything else falls into place.

Here are three ways to begin seeing the possibilities: 

• Don't be afraid to try new things. 

• Ask questions and be curious about the world.

• You have the power to change your life.

Trust yourself.

Develop trust in yourself and your feelings. This means that you should have confidence in your ability to manage whatever arises in your life. And to make informed decisions based on your understanding and experience. Take responsibility for your actions and your well-being.

It can be difficult to trust yourself sometimes, especially when you’re facing a difficult situation or feeling uncertain about what to do. However, it’s important to remember that you have all the resources you need within yourself to deal with whatever comes up. If you find it difficult to trust yourself, it can be helpful to think back to times when you’ve made decisions that have turned out well. Honor those feelings.

It’s also helpful to remember that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes occasionally. Just because you make a mistake doesn’t mean that you can’t trust yourself. You can always learn from your mistakes and use them as an opportunity to grow and become even wiser.

So, the next time you’re facing a difficult situation or feeling unsure about what to do, remember to trust yourself. You’ve got this. You can handle whatever comes up, and make wise decisions that will lead you to a happy and fulfilling life.

Focus on mindfulness.

Mindfulness is about being present in the moment, and this is something that you can practice every day. When you are mindful, you are aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without getting caught up in them. You can observe your thoughts and feelings as they are, without judging them as good or bad.

You can be mindful while you are walking, eating, or even doing the dishes. All you need to do is to bring your attention to the present moment and be aware of what you are doing. The focus is on doing what you see, notice, and feel.

When you focus on mindfulness, you are better able to control your thoughts and emotions. You are less likely to react to things automatically and instead can choose how you want to respond. You can also be more present in your daily life and enjoy the moment more.

Mindfulness takes practice, but it is something that anyone can do. Start by taking a few minutes each day to focus on your breath or your senses. See how it feels and how it changes your day-to-day life.

 Acceptance of reality.  

Believe what you see in front of you. Not a view of what you hope it is. When you’re at the mercy of what’s happening, it can be hard to feel like you’re in control. That’s why one of the essential principles of mindfulness is acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you’re happy with the situation; it means that you acknowledge it rather than uselessly denying what is happening.

Once you acknowledge reality, you can move towards figuring out a solution. But it’s important to remember that you can’t change everything. Some things are just the way they are, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Learning to accept things as they are is a key part of mindfulness.

Of course, there are those things that can be changed. If you don’t like the way something is, you can do the work to change it. But you must be honest with yourself about what is and what isn’t within your control. If you try to change what is beyond your control, you’ll just end up feeling frustrated.

Accepting yourself is not a passive act. It doesn’t mean settling for how things are. It doesn't mean you should stop trying to achieve your goals. Once you have a clear understanding of the goal you seek and have accepted the reality of how things are, you will be more likely to know how to solve your problem. Acceptance of yourself and the truth of your situation can help you become happier and healthier.

“If it’s out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind too.”

— IVAN NURU

Allow things to unfold in their way.

Another principle of mindfulness is to allow things to unfold in their way. This means not trying to control or predict the future, but instead being present in the moment and letting things happen as they will. This hearkens back to acceptance and your ability to see what you can’t control and just let it go. This can be a difficult concept to grasp, but it is a crucial part of mindfulness.

When we try to control everything, we often end up feeling stressed and anxious. This is because we are constantly worrying about what could go wrong, and this can lead to us missing out on the good moments in life. So, next time you find yourself worrying about the future, try to take a step back and allow things to unfold in their way. If you can learn to let go of the need to control, you can relax more and enjoy the present moment.

My final thoughts are.

Whether you are new to mindfulness or have been practicing for many years, there are always new ways to deepen your understanding and experience of mindfulness. By adding the principles of mindfulness into your daily life, you can learn to live more fully in the present moment. Helping you find greater peace, joy, and satisfaction in your life.

For more information, read these articles.

Key Principles For Mindfulness Practice.

Mindfulness Can Help Improve Or Change Your Mindset.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

Don't Miss Out On Living Your Best Life

What makes up your best life? What is the meaning of making each moment count? These are subjective terms, and the truth is that we all live differently, and have different life goals, and responsibilities. Our specific paths to a fulfilling life may look different, but common elements are shared between us all. We are all human, and we all want a life that looks like it was tailored to us. Following this universal thought, we can all take positive steps to live our best lives and make every moment count.

What do your goals look like?

While you may have an idea of what you want on a day-to-day basis, do you know and understand your long-term goals? When you imagine a happier life, a more secure one, a more adventurous one, what does that life look like to you? Take a good look at all your existing goals, dreams, and aspirations. Do they suit your interests, or have you chosen them to please someone else?

Take some time to assess what you want in your life – not what others expect you to want – then decide if your path needs to change, so you can be in command of your life and future. When you’re setting goals, try to find reasons with meaning that promote the well-being of your mental and physical health. 

The human mind desires to work towards an end goal, without one, you are more prone to psychological or emotional distress from a life without purpose. A study titled “Purpose in Life Predicts Better Emotional Recovery from Negative Stimuli” by Stacey M. Schaefer et al. reinforced the idea that a life of purpose not only supports mental health but also helps you build resilience to face life’s challenges.

List your priorities.

Prioritization is the process of taking the elements of your life and spelling them out numerically. From short-term to-do lists to longer-term, five or more years, plans, your capacity to organize and prioritize plays a huge part in your ability to carry out your goals. Take a deep breath in, exhale, and accept that you can’t do everything. When you know your limits, you can begin determining what to accomplish first so that you can begin living your best life.

One of the largest contributors to stress and anxiety is a life lived without priorities. Goals without priority often leave you feeling frustrated or ‘stuck.’ Time is divided between responsibilities, work, school, family, and friends, the list is endless. Often you prioritize in the wrong order; work that keeps you from relationships, relationships keeping you from your goals, and habits that prevent you from saving, or realizing your purpose.

So, first, with your goals in mind, sit down and prioritize your time. This can be as specific as you need it to be. Second, since your life is not lived in a vacuum, be sure to include those close to you in the process as family members and friends may need to adjust to changes.

 Who are you?

When you know who you are, you have a full awareness of who you are now and who you want to become in the future. People constantly change throughout their lives; though there are some characteristics of themselves they hope to grow and develop, there are other parts of themselves that may remain the same.

Owning who you are means that you’re able to embrace those desires to evolve while also honoring the steadfast features of who you essentially are. Often, this appears as a set of strengths and weaknesses. Just as you are strong in some areas and abilities, you may be weaker in others.  

Learning how to accept and embrace both sides of who you are is a crucial part of understanding yourself. You can more easily become who you want to be when you accept your whole self – not just select parts of it. Practice accepting your shortcomings and flaws; if you can work on them, do it. If these are parts of yourself you can’t change, embrace them.

Who do you want to be?

When you realize how much control you really can have over your life, it opens your view. You recognize that you are quite powerful and have a lot of say over your life and how things work for you. Whether it’s imagining yourself in the next five years, or six months, imagine the person you want to be by that point in time. What do you want to accomplish? What would make you feel happier and more successful?

Knowing who you want to be means you have a clear vision of whom you want to become, as you move forward into the future. This image of yourself may be based on personal goals, ambitions, or changes you want to make within yourself. Owning that image of your future self means you know what’s possible to achieve with hard work, commitment, and persistence. Treat the image of your future self like a roadmap – it will help you determine what tools you already have at your disposal to achieve those goals, and what you need to do to get there.

 Surround yourself with good influences.

The people you surround yourself with, the places you hang out, and the activities you participate in heavily influence your goals. Furthermore, a study has found that being surrounded by happy people promotes happiness.

Your family and friends are a good place to find love and support. Like-minded people can often be found in a hobby or work-related clubs. Mutual encouragement and inspiration are often the currency of these interactions.

Build circles that support life goals. Learn to speak positivity into your life, offer grace and empathy when needed, and strive to always foster mental, physical, and emotional health.

Do hard things.

The last step in any plan is implementation. You’ve set your goals, you’ve prioritized your time, and you’ve surrounded yourself with supporting figures who will encourage you, now you need to go out and do the hard things.

The hard things are those things that make you uncomfortable or require you to risk failure or take courage to perform. The hard things are often the very things you don’t want to do but must persist in doing so that you become competent.

It’s called your best life because it's not always going to be easy, but it will be rewarding. Sitting on the couch every night is easy. Meeting new people, trying new things, and exploring new places can all be scary and at times even intimidating. But these are frequently the moments that we remember and cherish.

My final thoughts.

Remember to take each day as it comes. To make every moment count, you need to learn to live in the present. Your journey into the future gets closer with each decision you make today, so make it a good one.

For more information, read this related post.

9 Practical Tips For Living Your Best Life Now.

I hope you enjoyed my post and will share it with your loved ones.

Mindfulness Relationship Exercises

Gram’s Wisdom 18: Relationships, mindfulness, and couples

My Gram and Grandpa frequently did little things for one another. He always took care of her car. She just had to get in and drive. But what sent Gram over the moon was the fresh oyster stew he would cook for her twice or three times a year. We lived in a small landlocked Indiana town, so he got big brownie points for that. She in turn would shovel snow occasionally from the house to the garage when he had to go to work in the middle of the night.

In the last several weeks, my honey, Michael, and I have been, like so many others, doing home improvement projects. As I wrote in a previous post Gram was not a big advocate of spending vacation time for that. Still, with four dogs and the current situation, vacation seems far off at this time.

None the less a couple of the projects were done with me, specifically in mind. To make me happy and relieve my worry. My Gram would have said this was mindfully done with an open heart.

I will place links at the bottom of this post to both of those previous posts.

 Pay attention to your relationship

It’s no lie that a good relationship is hard work. People are busy with life and simply neglect to nurture their union. Usually, it turns into a conflict for the time between family, work, and self-care. With all that happens in a day or even a week, what’s left-over for maintaining a relationship? Exactly that, leftovers.

Unintentionally, we often overlook giving our partner what is necessary for a healthy relationship. Mindfulness for a couple is used mainly in couples counseling sessions by professionals. But why wait until there’s so much agitation between you that couch time in a therapists’ office becomes necessary? There are plenty of practices you could initiate now!

Let’s take a look at the mindfulness concept. In a nutshell, the practice of mindfulness is being present in the moment. Becoming aware of the situation at hand and accepting, without judgment, what’s happening. It might sound complicated but it’s rather simple, it just takes practice.

How does mindfulness benefit a relationship?

Mindfulness actions for a couple are much the same as for you alone. Only with your partner. No, not necessarily breathing exercises (although a deep breath where you think before you speak is always a good thing) but there are plenty of other exercises you can do with your mate that will help develop a greater understanding of their emotional state.

Waiting until you are in the middle of a screaming match before trying to meaningfully communicate can be less than effective. But by that point, who is willing to listen, when words go flying and feelings get mutilated? Frequently this is followed by regret and hopefully an apology or (shudder) even the silent treatment; neither of which are truly healthy.

“When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another - and ourselves.”

— Jack Kornfield

So, let’s take a look at some specific mindfulness for couple’s techniques that might be useful:

A daily affirmation

It’s one thing to tell your love that you appreciate something they are doing or have done, but when you give them your undivided attention, look them in the eyes and follow the affirmation with how it makes you feel, it is far more appreciatively received, and it sticks.

To go a step further, your partner would effectively reiterate what you’ve just told them in their own words. For example, “I love it when you rub my back after a long day at work; it makes me feel like you’ve seen that I’m tense and want to help.” Your partner would then follow-up with his interpretation of what you’ve just relayed.

A mindful date night

Sounds simple enough right? But there are rules! Put your devices down if you are enjoying a meal together, look one another in the eyes, and engage in meaningful conversation. Avoid topics that would cause critique or conflict. Open your ears and listen to what your partner is saying without thinking of an immediate response while they are still talking. Then acknowledge that you have sincerely heard what was said.

If you go to a movie or a play, hold hands while sitting, share the same popcorn and soda, and then talk about your opinions on the show afterward. Any event will work and if you don’t share the same ideas on what you should do, alternate venues.

He wants to see a movie and you want to have dinner on the beach. Easy. One thing this week, the other next week. Be excited to spend quality time with one another and fully engage, mindfully, and purposefully. Whatever you do, don’t skip out on your mate and reschedule!

Most importantly, if it’s not “your thing”, don’t disassociate. Make an extra effort to consciously focus on your partner and fully participate in the event. Make new memories. That is what mindfulness is and does.

Memories and mindfulness

Sit down with your loved one and create a list of things that make each of you happy and deliriously in love. Remember when you were dating, and he brought you flowers or when she would nibble on your ears? Write. It. Down.

Use a list or even cut these suggestions out on strips of paper and place them in a jar. Each week grab one out and do it. Suggestions? Hold hands while watching TV. Bring a surprise home after work; a candy bar, a new perfume, a flower you picked from the neighbor’s yard… anything, but make sure it’s sincere.

Write a love note to your partner. Be specific about what it is you love about him/her. Cook and serve a favorite meal. Grocery shop together. These things are simple but can mean the world to your lover and your relationship.

Mindfulness for couples doesn’t mean you must gaze into each other’s eyes and affirm your undying affection. There are endless “exercises” you could include in your daily lives that will create mutual love and adoration. And when you are mindful of your love and adoration guess what happens? You are less likely to explode during the difficult conversations inevitable in any relationship.

Engage mindfully with your partner

Engaging your conscious mind to be more mindfully aware of loving and being loved will move your relationship from a should be/could be/would be existence to a “this is” experience.

You both will subconsciously reflect on how loved you are and that you are in this together, thus creating a stronger bond and much greater respect for your mate. It’s a win-win! Don’t stop with these few suggestions though. Find what works best in your relationship and for your given situation.

You wouldn’t neglect to give yourself food or water, right? Relationships take continuous work and nurturing as well. Mindfulness for a couple is work, yes, but it’s so worth it! Give your partnership the fuel it deserves to grow and succeed!

My final thought

I think this all boils down to attention, awareness, and presence. Our lives get busy and it becomes a catch-all excuse. We shouldn’t allow that most important person in our life to feel as if we no longer see them, hear them, or care enough to spend quality time with them.

Here are the links to the posts I mentioned above.

How Mindfulness Helps You Enjoy the Journey 

Simple Love and Care Advice for Couples

Thank You for reading this post and I hope you will share it with your family and friends.

The Restorative Value Of Mindfulness

Add mindfulness/presence into your life with nature

Are you longing for a little more mindfulness in your life, but find yourself unsure where to begin? I suggest you connect with nature it feels wonderful. It’s restorative to mind, body, and spirit while allowing you to step outside the business of life for a while and breathe deeply.

You have so many demands on your time each day, work, study, family, that carving out some nature time rarely makes the to-do list. The great news is that you don’t need to commit to a marathon hike in the mountains or woods to visit with nature. It can be a fast, restorative boost that’s easy to coordinate into your day.

Give one of these mindfulness suggestions a try to get a quick nature fix.

A | Feel nature

One of the easiest ways to reconnect with Mother Nature is to remove your shoes and wiggle your toes in the grass. Any grass will do, whether it’s your back yard or a nearby park. Notice the warmth or the coolness of the grass.

Choose to spend your lunch break in the park, rest your eyes on the soft greens and feel the textures of grass, tree trunks, and leaves, in your hands or toes.

B | Garden where you are able

The scent and feel of newly turned earth are magical properties. Nothing connects you faster to the rhythms and energy of the natural world than working in a garden. It doesn’t matter if your garden is a traditional lawn and garden plot, a communal vegetable garden, or your favorite herbs in pots on the windowsill.

Even a potted plant or flowers on your desk will change the energy levels and make you feel good.

C | The sky is the limit

Practice daily the habit of looking up at the sky. Look out of your window, see what kind of clouds there are, the direction they are traveling and the position of the sun. Use all your senses to be aware of what’s happening in nature right now. Are there birds singing? Are they making nests? What color are the leaves on the trees? What’s flowering right now? How does the air feel on your skin?

You can ‘read’ the environment through your senses – you need only to pay attention.

D | Walk with presence

As you walk down the street, is your mind already in your next interview or worrying about how the last meeting went? So many people spend their lives in their heads, unaware of the world around them or how they are moving through it. They commonly complain of how life seems to just pass them by.

The Buddhist teacher and philosopher Thich Nat Hanh reminds us to slow down and be fully present in the world. One of his best-loved sayings bids you to “Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.” It takes just a small but meaningful mental shift to stay connected to the earth and nature with every step.

My final thought

The restorative effects of mindfulness in your life are far-reaching. Once you take the time to be mindful of the natural world around you, your senses become increasingly more in harmony with nature. The boost of harmony will be evident also when you are more present in the lives of others.

I hope you enjoyed this post and will recommend it to your family and friends.

You may want to look at this previous post on mindfulness:

How Mindfulness Helps You Enjoy The Journey