How Do You Adapt To Difficulties?

Adapt yourself

I know a bit about adapting to a situation you weren’t expecting. My husband left our daughter and me in a restaurant 10 days before Christmas. The note he left us at home said he just couldn’t take the responsibility any longer.

I thought, how could he? Her birthday is in 11 days. But I had a steady job and my daughter liked her school. Soon we found a smaller more affordable house within walking distance to school. With that decision made, our first adaptation was put in motion.

We had no family where we lived, but they were only a phone call away. Our friends were the backbone of our support system and the encouragement we received from them was priceless. A good support system of people you love, who love you back, can be essential when you’re adapting to a new way of living.

Adapt or adjust, flexibility is key.

Adapt, if you are facing a situation that will be long-term. Whether it’s beyond your control or arises unexpectedly is less important than duration. For example, you need to adapt if your new job is a 2-hour commute both ways. Adjust, if the situations will be short-term. For instance, shop at a different grocery store for a week while the city repairs the water pipe. One of these two options provides the solution to most problems, so, of course, you want to be flexible in your choice.

Problems, change, stress-they're part of everyone's life, no one is exempt. Adaptability means accepting these things as normal. People who are successful in life, are flexible and develop a mental toughness that allows them to see setbacks and failures as ways to grow and improve. They expect hurdles so, even before the challenges occur, they intend to face them and find solutions.

Are you adaptable or stuck?

Adaptability is a choice. It's you, making up your mind to be flexible, responsive, analytical, and solution-oriented. Choosing to adapt, instead of fighting the issue means that you give yourself the freedom to take action to find a solution. Choosing to be adaptive means you’re the victor and not the victim.

Here are some techniques to help you increase your adaptive skills:

1 | Do you have a sense of humor?

It can be a great ally for you. (Mine certainly was.) One thing humor helps you do is to get some perspective on yourself and your situation. Humor can help you see the fun in the situation when you make a mistake. It can make it easier for you to learn from your mistake.

2 | Do you control your negative emotions?

Negative emotions can get you into a lot of trouble. When you're in a stressful situation, distance yourself until you have your emotions under control. When you're calmer, deal with the situation.

3 | Do you see change as part of life?

Evaluate the way you react to unexpected events. Are you open to trying new ideas or methods? Change can be uncomfortable, but it needn’t be your enemy. Make a conscious effort to make changes in stride. This is a valuable skill to learn, and it will help you in many ways.

4 | Are you good at saying “No”?

If you're stressed because you've over-committed yourself, it's tougher to adapt to situations as they arise. Make your schedule work for you, not against you. Learn to say “No,” calmly and firmly, when necessary.

5 | Simplify your life.

Get rid of clutter and attachments that wear you out and get in the way. Decide what's essential to you and what you want to do with your time and concentrate on that.

6 | Be present in your life.

Focus on what you can control. Let go of the past and the future. They will drain you of the enjoyment to be found in the now.

My final thought

Change happens. It’s rarely fun. Normally it leaves us feeling powerless. If we allow it to. But how often, after a change has occurred, and we have accommodated it, do we wonder why we made such a fuss? I believe that the times I have taken the initiative in a new situation, I adapted to it more easily. How easily do you adapt?

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you will share it with your family and friends.

Give Yourself A Much-Needed Break

Gram’s Wisdom 24 Don’t continue to replay past mistakes

Gram told me we should never get stuck in our past mistakes. She said it was like walking through a puddle of molasses. “You know you shouldn’t because it will only hold you back.”

Of course, she was also a firm believer in getting on with the things that move you forward and letting go of negativity holding you back.

So, from her, I learned it’s perfectly okay to stop clobbering yourself over mistakes you’ve made in the past. No one deserves your kindness and understanding more than you do. This affects your well-being, as well as the people in your life.

No wallowing allowed

How often, do we allow a mistake or an incorrect decision to adversely impact our lives long after the event occurred? By doing so, we end up being unable to appreciate the present and take advantage of new prospects and experiences.

Dwelling on a mistake for lengthy periods can be harmful to you. After all, our time here is limited, and unlike your favorite movie, no passing moment can be replayed or started over. It’s difficult to enjoy the freshness offered on a new day when your mind is always troubled by regret and negative self-talk.

Did ya’ hear, you are human

In case you haven’t noticed, human beings are programmed to make mistakes. We aren’t given an instruction manual at birth (we would likely lose it anyway) with details for the best way to handle the vast number of decisions and events we experience throughout our life. Therefore, it makes no sense to go through life with the intent of being perfect.

Of course, you should try to make the appropriate decisions and handle situations to the best of your ability, but only with the knowledge that you will not always do so. Any mistake you end up making should not come as a total surprise but should instead serve to remind you that as a fallible human being, just like all other people around you, mistakes will be made.

Being human is wonderful. We are capable of so many emotions, creations, and discoveries. However, we are far from perfect and mistakes are sure to happen. Always bear that in mind.

Errors=examples of what not to do

A great way to avoid beating yourself up over a shortcoming or wrong decision is to not view the situation in a negative light. Instead, try to realize that mistakes are a necessary part of the growth process. Consider this, every single thing you have ever learned how to do with any level of expertise has been achieved through trial and error. This process in no way ends just because you have become an adult. For as long as you live, you will continue to encounter new situations.

It’s silly to think that, as an adult, you will somehow be able to respond to new situations the right way from the beginning. If you ever reach a point in your life where you fail to make a mistake here and there, it’s probably not a good thing. If nothing you do poses a challenge, this means you are at a place of stagnation.

It is important to consider every mistake as an example that allows you to adjust, modify your actions, and do better on the next go around.

Take another look

Most of us do our best to forgive other people after they have messed up. This is particularly true for the people closest to us. Sure, we may be upset and even angry for a while, but we usually don’t hold the issue over the offender’s head forever. 

Ironically, we struggle more to forgive ourselves than to do the same for others. Considering this inconsistency, try to change your vantage point the next time you are avoiding permitting yourself forgiveness. After all, nobody is closer to you than you. Knowing that forgiveness is a necessary part of maintaining external relationships, you must also realize that this requirement is just as true for nurturing your mental environment.

My final thought

Humans do many foolish things. How badly we treat ourselves may just be the worst. We berate ourselves for our mistakes, and we hate to give ourselves the break we deserve. I believe it’s time to extend a little compassion and kindness for past mistakes to that person you live with every moment, yourself.

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Improve Your Mental Health Using These Tips

Traditional mindset v. new beliefs

This is a polarizing topic because of a clash between traditional mindsets and new beliefs.

In one group, we have strong-willed people who believe that life is tough, and everyone should just stop whining about it. They feel that being stoic makes you stronger and more able to endure and succeed, despite the variety of stresses in the world.

In the other camp, some people believe that our hectic and stressful lives will create broken individuals if we don’t take time to care for ourselves.

So, who is right?

Both sides of this argument are right–because people are unique!

There are some men and women who enjoy the tough love and hardcore approach to living life. They are the ones who soldier on, not wishing to appear weak and give little thought to self-care.

Then there are others more sensitive to the continual assault on their senses because the media, work, and family commitments, etc. may cause them to be mentally exhausted.

At times like these, self-care to safeguard one’s mental health is essential to their well-being. Below you’ll find a list of suggestions to follow.

Not all tips will work for everyone, but I promise, you’ll positively find one that works for you. Give them a try to go with what works best for you.

1.  Give aromatherapy a try

Diffusing essential oils such as lavender, frankincense, lemongrass, or my personal favorite, sage, will help to create a soothing scent that will help to calm your mind.

Aromatherapy has been shown to have numerous benefits to one’s health. Since it’s a holistic method, not much has been done to study it in detail but give it a try and see how it makes you feel.

Ultimately, that’s what matters–and if aromatherapy makes you feel happier and calmer, go ahead and use it.

2.  Have a cup of coffee

It has been shown that coffee lifts one’s moods. Its antioxidant properties will help to heal your body from within and the caffeine will ease depression if present.

3.  Unclutter your environment

Time to unleash your inner Marie Kondo. Decluttering has a cleansing feel to it. Some people manage better when they have fewer possessions and more sparse surroundings.

If you feel like there’s too much going on in your life and you feel smothered, you may wish to declutter and live a more minimalistic lifestyle. You might find that less is more, and your moods and quality of life improves enormously.

4.  Mindfulness practice

Mindfulness is about being present in the now instead of constantly worrying about the future or the past. When you’re involved in a task at work or even having a meal, you’re fully present at the moment.

There’s no multi-tasking or looking at your social media apps constantly. Mindfulness helps improve focus and acts as a dopamine detox that your body might be craving.

5.  Disengage from social media

While social media can be fun, it also has a dark side. It creates a craving for dopamine in your brain. The endless notifications and feedback can be addictive and is not healthy in the long run.

Not to mention the constant onslaught of news, negative comments, and venom from other users that only rile you up. Disengaging from social media will do miracles for your mental health.

6.  Begin a yoga practice

This may sound cliché, but it truly works. Yoga’s focus on the mind, body, and soul connection will have you breathing deeply and stretching your body.

This movement is good for you and will increase your flexibility by loosening tight muscles.

7.  Take an Epsom salt bath

This is as uncomplicated as it sounds. Add 2 cups (0.47 liters) to warm running water. Sit and relax in the tub and feel any aches and pains dissolve away.

8.  Begin a journal

Journaling is a form of stress relief. By expressing your thoughts and emotions on paper, it gives your mind freedom. Living in your head can be tiring if you’re replaying the same unresolved events over and over.

By journaling, you’ll experience purging and also clarity. You can use this technique to create lists of things to do, goals to achieve, and so on. Once it’s in your book and out of your head, you can either make a plan for it or let it go.

9.  Take a break from the routine

This is especially true for women who are juggling careers and family commitments. There is always someone demanding something from you and the perpetual act of keeping things in order can cause a nervous breakdown.

It’s good to take a break and have 30 minutes to an hour for yourself. If your spouse can look after the children, you may even want to take the entire day off and spend time on your own.

10.  Spend time on grooming

A common symptom of someone who is mentally drained and stressed out is a lack of attention to their appearance. If you look at yourself in the mirror and you look disheveled and worn out, you’ll feel even worse.

Spend an hour or two grooming yourself. Once your appearance is neat and attractive, you’ll feel a renewed sense of energy and purpose.

11.  Look forward

Too often, people look back on their past and revive old, negative emotions. Regrets, harsh words exchanged, hurt feelings, etc. that happened before should be left in the past.

It’s time to let it go. Try writing down what you’re feeling on a piece of paper… and when you’re done, burn that paper and as it turns to ashes, that will signify you letting the past remain in the past.

It’s pointless to carry the heavy burdens of yesterday into tomorrow. Keep your eyes on the present and look forward to a brighter future.

My final thought

I believe by applying these self-care tips in your life you’ll begin to notice that you feel better in a few days. Wonders will not happen overnight, but you will feel a sense of mental relief and soon you’ll develop a more optimistic outlook on life.

I hope you like this easy-to-do list of self-care tips and will share it with your family and friends.

Can I Make My Relationship Work?

YOU CAN’T. Not on your own. Sure, you can improve some things that are more YOU centric on your own. You can even alter your attitude and manner and learn to just accept what makes you feel less than happy. Many people do. But this is most unsatisfactory and difficult to manage for the rest of your life and I wouldn’t recommend it.

Only as a couple can make your relationship work. It must be important, and you must genuinely want it to work. Did I mention it’s hard work? Nonetheless, the rewards of a good relationship are enormous and well worth the effort you will make.

7 Keys To help your relationship work:

Have you committed?

This could be the most important thing you do. Your commitment must be to each other. To your future together. To solving any difficulties together. You should be devoted to what best serves you as a couple. At times, a decision may of necessity rest more heavily on one of you or the other. Remember to be sensitive and never overbearing when making that decision.

How do you communicate?

The way you speak to your husband tells him as much as the words you use, as does your body language. Some conversations will take you out of your comfort zone. So, speak gently to one another. You should be honest but never hurtful. Apologize frequently, especially if you are right. Don’t make statements that give the impression that you harbor a back door out of your relationship. These and other nasty statements can never be taken back and are best never said. Communication is a connection, so let it always be positive.

What are your boundaries?

Every couple needs boundaries. You are, after all, individuals, and you likely had a life before you met. Your boundaries should be defined upfront to save trouble and misunderstanding next week or next year. This doesn’t mean you have the right to know everywhere your spouse goes or all that he does. It does require that you don’t do hurtful things to each other.

Give and expect respect.

Show your spouse you respect him. Actively listen when he is speaking and sharing his opinions. You’re not obligated to see things his way, but you should be interested in his view and be aware of the value that sharing has. Your husband should similarly show his respect and regard for you. To be respectful is to be aware of your partner’s feelings.

Supporting your partner is a must.

Yes, I said must. If you want a flourishing relationship you must be your spouse’s biggest supporter. You should always encourage him and stand up for him. Your supportive husband will want what is best for you and he will never hold you back from reaching your goals and desires. You need to be a pillar your partner can lean on.

Nothing without trust.

Can you be trusted? Can he? Nothing hurts two people more than betrayal. All healthy relationships need mutual trust, and couples don’t automatically trust right away. Trust takes time and attention to develop. But with love, communication, confidence, and support your trust in one another can grow and deepen.

Flexibility for the long haul.

Things change. Life changes. As individuals, we grow at different rates and at different times. Events in life can cause one or the other partner to leap ahead while the other hunkers down for safety. This is normal but it shouldn’t become permanent. Over the passing years, you live together, flexibility is your friend. If you develop an unbending mindset you run the risk of unhappiness settling into your relationship. The continuing flexibility and growth of your relationship allow you both to find new things to be excited about singly and together.

My final thought

I believe that if you begin your relationship using the 7 keys above you have a good chance of making things work. Toss in some humor and forgiveness and at the very least you should have a happy home life while you work at it. Nothing smooths the way better than to be able to laugh at yourselves and forgive one another.

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This is the 4th and the last post in a series of responses to past most liked posts. I have placed the link below to the earlier post.

Simple Love and Care Advice for Couples

You Want To Be Forgiving

Gram’s Wisdom 23

My Gram believed we all should be more forgiving. She was the ultimate people person. The idea of losing the friendship or company of someone she liked due to a lapse in behavior or a misunderstanding wasn’t sensible to her.

If you’ve been hurt, it might feel ludicrous to think about forgiving someone who hurt you but hear me out, there are important reasons why offering forgiveness can help you.

You may have a blind spot when it comes to forgiveness, but there are valuable reasons why you should consider forgiveness as one of the options related to your anger, sadness, or other emotions tied to your situation.

There are reasons why you may want to forgive someone who hurt you

Forgiveness can restore what’s been lost:

Gram told me the rift between people can grow larger if we don’t take pains to put a stop to it. The pain lingers, the resentment grows, and the hurt takes on a life of its own. Hashing things out and forgiving can allow for restoration and resolution. The times when the issues are too serious and too big to resolve, forgiveness can still make it possible to stop the feedback loop playing in your head. If restoration isn’t possible, letting go of what is eating you up is still an option. 

The benefits of forgiving and forgetting are emotional, physical, and practical. Walking around with chronic anger and resentment can bleed into all areas of life. By finding the courage and practical ways to forgive, you can move through your negative emotions and into a better space of acceptance, healthy boundaries, and grace.

Pent-up anger causes physical illness:

Your bitterness or pain can transform into real physical illness, depriving you further than you’ve already been. Keeping the offense unresolved can lead to high blood pressure, anxieties, and worse. You do your body a favor by forgiving helping to ensure your health remains intact.

Your emotions remain unresolved:

If you carry the emotions tied to your situation, they will remain unresolved. Feeling angry, bitter, sad, or any other negative emotion comes from the place that wants justice and vindication. Mixed in with the muck and the mire are all manner of distorted thoughts that preserve your unresolved emotions. This can make a mountain out of a molehill and steal your happiness. Letting go of the blame and need for vindication makes it possible to move through the situation and on with your life.

Forgive and forget

You may agree theoretically that forgiving and forgetting is possible, but, is it? Gram would have said, Absolutely with time, patience, and grace. Having a forgiving nature may not be a natural state of being but it can become part of your relationships tool kit.

Let’s look at how to forgive, and why people don’t forgive:

It doesn’t feel fair- It feels unfair to forgive someone who might be getting away with doing a bad thing. It doesn’t fit the idea of justice to not hold someone accountable and require amends for their offense. It feels like your pain isn’t valid or important enough and that the offender is going to go without understanding the effect their actions have on you and others.

It feels good- The only reason someone holds onto negative feelings is that they are getting something out of it. Holding a grudge and being hostile feels good. It feels good to know someone owes you for their transgression. It feels good to be the center of other people’s sympathies and caring inquiries. 

With these things in play, it’s possible to forgive and forget.

A | You see the big picture

From knowing it is in your best interest physically and emotionally, to know that it’s ultimately best for others, forgiveness can come when you see a bigger picture.

B | You see more than one angle to a situation

In rare cases, you can look past the offense and examine the circumstances in totality. Find it in your heart to forgive and, in some cases, build a relationship that transcends the situation.

C | Your understanding overrides your emotions

Don’t allow emotions to rule the day. When understanding decrees, forgiveness will happen. Understanding sees the benefits despite the apparent loss. When understanding nudges emotions to consider moving on, forgiveness is possible.

Forgiveness is always possible when the keenness of the situation diminishes, and the bigger picture comes into play. Allow yourself time, patience, and grace, and you can find forgiveness.

My final thought

We all draw a line at what seems to us to be unforgivable and rightly so. At the same time, we know when we forgive a transgression against us, it brings us peace. I believe like my Gram, that in the end, forgiveness is a choice. I choose to look for every way I can to forgive someone and to keep them part of my life.

This post is in response to my 3rd most popular post and I have linked it below.

How Forgiveness Makes Us Happier and Healthier

I hope you liked this post and will share it with your family and friends.

What Is Manifestation?

Manifestation is a bit of a buzzword in society today. Everybody is talking about it, writing about it, practicing it, or trying to apply it to their life, but do we know what it is? Manifestation is sometimes referred to as the law of attraction, or even your karma.

It’s the idea that what you put out into the universe, whether actions, words, or energy, will come back to you eventually (Hurst, K., 2012, July 8, What Is The Law Of Attraction? And How To Use It Effectively).  The idea is that to be on the receiving end of good things we need to be thinking and doing good things.

So how does manifestation benefit us and how do we integrate it into our lives? Truthfully, manifestation is at this moment working in our lives, but most of us are oblivious of this fact. Therefore, many of us are manifesting negative things and outcomes simply because our thoughts and actions are more negative than positive.

For manifestation to work more favorably for us we need to be deliberate about changing our thoughts and consequently aligning our actions so that we begin to manifest good in our lives.

Visualization

The first step of manifestation is visualizing what you want for yourself. Whether you want good health, success, or love, you must first be explicit about what you want. Then you can begin visualizing what your life would be like with that thing in it.

Visualization moves you from simply desiring something to actively evaluating how having that thing will impact your life. Many people use vision boards as a visible way to practice this concept. By consistently seeing the things you want in life and the impact those things will have on your life, you increase your level of expectancy.

Belief

Once you have a clear vision of what you want and how your life would improve as a result, you must believe that it can happen. It’s one thing to want something, it’s another thing to fully expect that something will come into your life (Bernstein, G. 2016, December 13, The Five Principles For Manifesting Your Desires). Moreover, your belief system must go from a thought process that believes it can happen, into a thought process that believes it will happen for you. It is with this trust that you can then attract those things you desire.

Behavior

A final key to manifesting the things you want in life is to behave as though those things you desire have/will happen. You may be able to visualize and believe, but it can be a challenge for people to behave as though the thing they want will happen. Frequently, people do visualize and believe, yet they still make decisions that reveal they have doubts. Behaving as though the thing has happened or will happen demonstrates a level of confidence that is more likely to attract what you want in your life.

Through the principles of manifestation, you can attract a host of positives for the mind, body, and spirit. Active practice of manifestation can be linked to improved mental and physical health, positive friend, and romantic relationships, and even success and financial prosperity.

Because manifestation is principally about shifting your mindset and alignment of actions and behaviors to match that more positive mindset, there truly is no limit to what you can manifest. So, create a practical way to include manifestation in your daily life and see what good will come to you.

My final thought

I think it is in our belief that we make manifestation a tool. Having a positive mindset just affords us a way to get the best results.

This is in response to my 2nd most popular post and you can find it just below.

Simple Ways To Manifest Your Dream Life

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Gift Yourself A Kindness Mindset

You deserve the same kindness you show others

Your kindness is not about making sacrifices or denying your own needs. Treating others kindly shouldn’t be viewed as a burden or another check mark on your to-do list.

It’s the visible expression of living positively. Kindness is all about mindset, and you can train your brain to make kindness almost habitual. Have you noticed that being kind to someone makes you feel good as well? It’s because selflessness promotes a chemical reaction in your brain, releasing serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine. These chemicals not only make you feel good but also aid in the reinforcement of positive social behavior. By establishing new neural pathways, you set yourself up to live a more positive, kinder life.

Here are some scientifically proven tips to bring about added kindness into your brain.

A |Choosing kindness

In choosing to be kind, you are intentionally changing your mindset to treat people with compassion and empathy. Observe the effect your kindness has on others. When you smile, people’s natural reaction is to smile in return. You set up a kindness loop that keeps on paying itself forward!

Choosing to be kind, regardless of your mood, can even turn a grouchy day into a happier one. Your brain receives the message that all is well, and almost like magic, you’re feeling more cheerful.

B |Do more random acts of kindness

Studies show that performing five random acts of kindness each week is the single most effective way of increasing your happiness. Anything from buying a pay it forwards coffee, to bringing a cooked meal to a new mom, or mowing your neighbor’s lawn will make you and the other guy or gal feel good. (My husband’s favorite is to pay for the groceries of someone who appears to need a lift.)

C |Practice being grateful

Make it a daily practice to count your blessings. While I believe this is good for everything, research shows that people are happier when they notice the good things in their lives and express gratitude for it. The outcome is so evident that it changes your brain structure! Brain scans have shown the effect of mindfulness and gratitude.  The parts of the brain associated with stress shrink, while the regions associated with self-awareness and compassion grow.

Now that you have some ideas about how to increase your kindness mindset let’s put that new mindset to work on you.

Be kind to yourself 4 ways

Some days are not so good. Maybe you’re tired and grumpy from the get-go. And things seem to spiral downward from there. You spill your coffee, the washer overflowed and it’s your turn to provide lunch for your book club. You’re running late and you wish you could get a do-over.

If you’re having a terrible day, stop, take a deep breath, let it out, and take a little time out to be kind to yourself. You can’t undo the bad things that have already happened, but you can turn around your bad day right now. Here are four simple things you can do to be kind to yourself and put a stop to a bad day. 

1.  Celebrate your small wins

Sometimes it can feel like an accomplishment to get through the day at all! If you’re having a bad day, write down in your journal all your wins, big, and small.

If you took the time to eat lunch, made it to the gym or yoga class, fed your family, and walked the dog you are on a winning streak!  Make it fun and pat yourself on the back for all the check marks on your list. Make it even more fun by writing down the bad things that didn’t happen. You didn’t spill coffee on your boss; you didn’t get mired in traffic, and you didn’t forget to pick up the kids.

2.  Plan a treat

If your day is moving from bad to worse, plan to do something special, luxurious, and relaxing. A long bath with the good bath oil, and order takeout for dinner. Book a weekend away or meet up for a quiet dinner with your partner or a friend.

It isn’t so important what you do if you give yourself something to look forward to!

3.  Reset your self-talk

Take a moment to check in on how you talk to yourself. Do you berate yourself? Are the words ‘you always’ or ‘you never’ frequently voiced in your self-talk? Or maybe ‘you’re no good’, or ‘why don’t you’?

Then it’s time to reset your inner critic to become your inner champion and turn that self-talk around. Would you speak to a friend like that? No way! Then why be unkind to yourself? Everyone has bad days, you need encouragement, not beating up!

4.  Take time out

When all appears to be going wrong, you can halt that negative spiral by taking a break. Get out of the office if you can, go and do some deep breathing in the park, look at the sky and listen to the birds, or failing that, look out of the window for a few minutes.

Practice some deep breathing and maybe have herbal tea or a glass of water. Anything that can ground you and make you feel calmer and more in control.

My final thought

Like so many other things, kindness is seen as something we do for others and not ourselves. Without replenishment, it becomes a dwindling resource. But with the right kindness self-care mindset, we should be able to refill our depleted supply and be kinder to everyone we meet and most especially to ourselves.

Did you find this post beneficial?  Then kindly share it with your family and friends.

Little Kindnesses Create Huge Impacts

Grams Wisdom 22

My Gram believed that there was nothing worse you could do than to be unkind. It’s been years but I still remember how my Gram had told me, “a kindness offered to others returns to the giver.” Gram said the warmth in your heart when you are unexpectedly kind is a special feeling that you can’t get any other way.  

Can you remember how you felt after a tough day when a stranger smiled at you?  Or having helped your neighbor carry in her groceries and how she still thanks you for it? Each of these acts of kindness can make a huge impact on someone’s life.

Gram also said kind actions are like giant ripples in a pond. One small action can completely change the life of someone who then pays it forward and performs a kindness for someone else. And the cycle continues and grows.

Regardless of how big or small, the kindness is, it’s likely to have big consequences for your mental health. According to psychologists and researchers, the smallest acts of kindness create a rebound effect on not only the receiver’s psyche but your own as well.

For example, a smile increases a person’s level of comfort along with making them happier. It makes your mood better as well. That simple smile you give could be the reason someone is lifted out of despair.

We can become kinder by practicing every day. Do a random act of kindness each day for someone and observe the impact it has on you. Soon it becomes who you are, and then maybe, how you will be remembered.

Tiny acts of kindness can make a change in two ways; they are the spark for others to begin invoking their small kindnesses, and they have a contagious effect on others. In other words, when we carry out tiny acts of kindness, other people see them, inspiring more kindness.

Let’s look at another example. Say you paint the front door for your elderly infirm neighbor. The lady across the street notices this and offers to do some shopping for him. Perhaps someone else saw this and calls him the next day just to say hello. When you offer service to others with no thought of recompense, it makes you feel happier.

Small acts can create big outcomes

Kind people think others are worthy of consideration for their own sake as fellow human beings. People who tend to do little things to spread kindness are more likely to act in bigger ways as well.

Here are ten ways small acts can have an impact.

1.  Learn first aid. Learning first aid principles can help you be prepared to act if someone needs help in an emergency.

2.  Be a part of a community cleanup effort. Help clean up a park, neighborhood, or local waterway.

3.  Donate toys to the local women’s shelter.

4.  Donate flowers to someone in need in places like hospices, or care homes.

5.  Prepare a hot meal for a neighbor either down on their luck, or unwell. 

6.  Leave snacks in the break room at work.

7.  Volunteer at your local Brownies/Scouts or boys’/girls’ clubs.

8.  Donate books to your local library or children in need.

9.  Remove single-use plastic from your life. Recycle plastics and other recyclables.

10. Volunteer to read to children at your local library.

Whatever you choose to do, every tiny act of kindness can have an immense impact on others in ways you may never imagine. Each tiny act is observed and passed along to another making it expand into a big act.

My final thought

My Gram was one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. She often told me if you can’t say something kind don’t say anything at all. And she made it seem effortless. It was never too much trouble to cook for a friend, provide a shoulder to cry on, or keep a great-grandchild overnight so a young working mom could catch an extra shift at her part-time job. Gram thought we all should aspire to be remembered as kind.

If this post resonated with you, please be kind and share it with your family and friends.