Create A Gratitude Mindset Habit

Seek gratitude-filled moments

I believe a gratitude mindset is the most important one and all good things flow from it. For many years, I have made looking for gratitude within any situation one of my primary habits. But it wasn’t always this way. Like most people, I believed what happens is either good or bad, and you felt grateful for what is good. Consequently, I was in pursuit of the good, the nice, and the safe to feel grateful for.

Quite by accident, my young daughter was bitten on her face by a dog. The surgeon told me how grateful I should feel, the bite had missed her eyes and she could still see. He also said her major facial nerves were intact, and she would be able to smile once she had healed.

I was certainly grateful to that doctor; I appreciated the years he had trained to be a surgeon, how gently he treated my two-year-old, and how he allayed my fears. But, even more, I was thankful for the reminder to be aware that there are things we can be grateful for in the worst circumstances.  

How your gratitude was first introduced as a habit

Most of us have been taught something about gratitude early in life. From the time we become social beings, at age three or four, we're conditioned to say, "please and thank you" along with other words like "sorry" and "excuse me" by our elders, parents, and teachers at home and in school. Thank you — just two simple words that have been so recognizable since childhood, but they are the first expression of gratitude we are taught, and its meaning goes beyond simple politeness.

Gratitude holds real power

Gratitude is an exceptional habit to develop because of the limitless positive benefits associated with it. Living a positive life, which is so important, is associated with the attitude of gratitude. There are many scientific studies conducted on gratitude and there's no doubt how enormously powerful its benefits are.

However, it takes understanding and learning what the concept means to practice it effectively.

Gratitude is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Eventually, regularly practicing gratitude will help you turn it into a habit. Fortunately, gratitude is not an innate trait that you either have or you don't. That's a good thing because it means you can improve it the more you practice it.

Cultivate a singular gratitude habit

There are many ways to create a habit of gratitude. However, there is one very simple and powerful thing you can use to cultivate gratitude and turn it into a habit. It’s so simple that many people overlook it, yet it will do more to create and preserve an attitude of gratitude than anything else.

Acknowledge one thing that you are grateful for. And do it daily. Consistency is the key.

Acknowledge the good people and the good things in your life. Whether you are expressing yourself verbally to a loved one and telling them how grateful you are for their presence in your life, or you're quietly writing your gratitude list down in your private journal, the key to gratitude is simply expressing it. Express your gratitude by any means and do it daily.

Creating a good habit, a good mindset, as we all know, isn’t easy, but it’s worthwhile. Cultivating gratitude as a habit may be especially challenging when 'expressing gratitude,' 'saying thank you,' and simple 'gestures of appreciation' are unfamiliar to you.

Being unaware of the goodness around you

Many people today find it so easy to complain but impossible to appreciate anything and to express appreciation. It can be toxic, not only to other people you are directing your complaints to but, more importantly, to yourself. Negative thinking is toxic to your wellbeing as it leaves you blind and unable to see the good in most situations.

People who consistently complain are naturally drawn to negativity, but they are also resistant to accepting good things. It's like a curse that leaves you positivity resistant. You think, “why bother, I never get any breaks.” When people complain, they are essentially thinking negatively. It can be harmful as we know how negative thoughts lead to more stress, worrying, and anxiety.

A complaining habit mixes well with many negative emotions, such as feeling sad, anxious, and depressed. Complaints may appear natural and harmless, a common human reaction. However, most people realize that by doing so, they are magnifying negativity and readily creating more problems in their lives.

Here are powerful ways to develop a habit of gratitude.

Teach your brain to be grateful

Your subconscious mind directs 95% of your actions and thoughts. To create a habit, you need to plant it on a subconscious level. This is where the reticular activating system comes into play.

The reticular activating system (RAS) is the door through which nearly all information enters the brain. The RAS filters the incoming information affecting what you pay attention to.

You can teach your brain to consciously be more grateful by actively looking for things that make you feel gratitude. It will seem difficult at first if it's not natural for your brain to react that way.

Your conscious mind is doing most of the heavy lifting at this point; you are learning a new skill. But with consistent practice, it should only take a few weeks for your brain to recalibrate itself and adapt to your new perspective, which is gratitude.

Promoting positivity using helpful tools

A gratitude journal can balance out your natural bias towards negativity by shifting to a positive perspective. That's why it is a powerful tool you can use to establish a new gratitude habit. Create gratitude lists daily. Reading positive books, gratitude quotes, and affirmations will also help increase your gratitude awareness.

Connect with Other People

Gratitude is a social emotion. Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on Gratitude, says that "people are more likely to feel grateful when they put their focus on others, rather than getting caught up in their own inner narratives about how things should have gone. Empathy for others can trigger a sense of gratitude."



My final thought

I often think of the words by Anaïs Nin; “We see things not as they are, but as we are.” If we live negatively, that is what we’ll see, but if we see things in a positive light, we’ll have much to be grateful for.

For more information, read these posts.

Creating Habits Of Gratitude

Cultivating Your Gratitude Then Practice Daily

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Accept Your Imperfections

One of the most difficult things we humans learn to do is accept our imperfections. Most of you will try to change what you see as flaws if you find them bothersome. You will find flaws in your looks, buck teeth can be fixed, a missing limb is harder to disguise.

Flaws in your behavior can be simple to change but may depend more on how it impacts others. Flaws in your character are tougher to change, and you must want to change and be willing to do the work.

If you want to be content and happy in life, you must find a way to live amicably with your imperfections.

Step away from the competition

If you have any contact with social media, you will have noticed how everyone is striving to be perfect. Suddenly, you can’t post a selfie without at least one filter or go out for dinner without showing your curated plate of food. Even your dog is dressed to look perfect.

Don’t you want to be who you are? Liked for the way you are? After all, other people’s picture perfection isn’t any more genuine than yours is.

Think of it, What would happen if you just decided to take a step away from all the competition, all that clamoring for likes and hearts? What if you chose simply to enjoy your life, warts and all, without sharing it with the world?

Here’s how you can reclaim your life and be happier.

Be mindful of your thoughts

If a negative viewpoint has become your default setting, you probably don’t even realize it when you’re doing it. Before you know it, you perpetually set your inner monologue to negativity. You feel discontented and irritable with everyone and everything. Your thoughts become your life. And that’s no way to live your best life!

Consciously change your inner monologue to focus on the positives. Instead of focusing on differences and seeing them as flaws, choose to see what is good in the other person. If your go-to is to criticize their weight or hair, or the way they speak, change your view of them by finding something to admire.

Take a moment to listen to your self-talk for a moment. Consider the words you’re using and course-correct for more positive language.

Don’t judge harshly

You can choose immediately to stop scrutinizing other people, looking for what’s wrong with their face or their body or their life choices. In this restless modern world, it’s too easy to fall into the bad habit of judging yourself and others too harshly.

Alter your attitude to one of charitability, let go of the urge to be critical of others, stop seeing their differences as flaws instead, see them as endearing quirks, or merely as something that makes that person unique. Soon you should see a trickle-down effect on how you see yourself. The You who have oddities and foibles of your own.

Accept that no one is perfect

A perfectionist is never happy with who they are, how they look, or how they’re doing. Instead, they have unrealistically high standards that can’t be met. When they fall short of this ideal, they feel imperfect and beat themselves up for it.

Wanting to be the best version of yourself isn’t the same as being a perfectionist. Being your best means you work hard, you try, and you don’t give up. But it doesn’t mean you condemn yourself when things aren’t perfect, and you don’t take failure personally. Instead, you are kinder and more forgiving of yourself.

Open yourself to a colorful view of the world

It’s easy to fall into the habit of seeing things as right or wrong, good, or bad. Sure, someone else’s choice may not be your choice, and why should it? Maybe you don’t like snow or want to work for a multinational or live in a city. But it doesn’t mean those other choices are wrong; they’re just different.

Seeing things in black and white is limiting.

Open up a little and revise your worldview, so you see all the colors, all choices as equally valid.

Relax in the present and go with the flow

Perfectionists tend to trip over every little detail and allow imperfections to steal their lives. They act almost like the perfection police, waiting with bated breath to be added to their list of misdemeanors. Or they worry about future mistakes, wasting time trying to avoid them.

Don’t be that person! You can choose to stay focused on the here and now and experience what’s happening in your life. When you embrace imperfection, you learn to love what you can’t change as a natural part of life, it frees you up to enjoy the ride.

Obstacles become challenges that make life more enjoyable on your way to where you want to be. You can slow down, find your inner peace and gratefully notice all the good things there are in your life.

Promote imperfection as a way of life

Once you make peace with imperfection, you’re not sensitive to others’ opinions, you can be a lot more objective about life. Your perspectives change, and what once seemed tremendously important, suddenly doesn’t matter so much. You shift your reality. All experiences become just another aspect of a life lived richly, shaping the person you are continually becoming.

Imperfection stops being something to avoid at all costs. Think about it like this: perfection implies inertia, something you attain and must manage. It’s fragile and vulnerable. It puts an end to growth. And then what? You don’t want to stop learning and growing and developing, do you? Embracing imperfection means there’s always an opportunity to learn and grow and become a better person.

My final thought

I hope this post has given you a birds-eye-view on some of what you need to know about accepting your imperfections.

Keep in mind that some of your perceived flaws make you not just who you are, but uniquely memorable. So, before making alterations, consider why you want to do that and what you hope the desired result looks like.

If you are looking for further help, techniques used in Perfectly Imperfect 7 Ways To Embrace Your Flaws by The Law Of Attraction may be just the ticket.

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Finish What You Started

Gram’s Wisdom 33 The value of persistence

My Gram often spoke of the value of what she called, “seeing things through.” People today call that follow-through. Her thought was, “if it needs to be done, it needs to be complete.” She also liked to tell me the adage of quitters never win, and winners never quit.

Gram called me stubborn as a child. My husband also has made this observation occasionally, but cautiously, as I see myself as being merely resistant instead.

Since I spent time with my Gram as a girl, she often oversaw my homework or school projects. I believe I was a normal kid, so, I breezed through the things I liked effortlessly and would drag my feet and grouse about those things that seemed like work. Not acceptable to Gram. She had a strong belief in the lessons we learn from what we don’t like, or don’t want to do.

What has this to do with persistence? The words stubborn and persistent are synonyms. Yet, they are also seen as opposites. Stubbornness is seen as a negative, an unwillingness to make changes. While persistence is viewed positively, it’s a willingness to succeed no matter what.

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”

— Benjamin Franklin

Strategies to build a persistent mindset

When it comes to completing a task, or project, have you felt overwhelmed, Do you ever choke under the pressure and wonder if you can finish? If this has happened to you, you may have ended up feeling embarrassed and intensely disappointed in your abilities. 

Even though your need for a result is great, the effort you must put in, or the time required to complete the task might make you want to give up. Where do you stand when it comes to persevering until a job is complete?

It can be easy, or at least not awful if we can do the projects we want. Unfortunately, in the game of life all too often your tasks get chosen for you. The boss hands you a project, or life says cook, clean, wash. How can you persist when you’re challenged at every turn in meeting your goals?

If you struggle to complete what you start, these STRATEGIES can help you attain a persistent mindset.

Being consistent.

Sometimes, it feels like you’ll never get there. When you feel that way, remind yourself you must simply keep on going. If you continue working consistently toward your goal, chances are good you’ll ultimately accomplish it. Many people look for this skill, whether in the workplace or in their personal life. They want to know that they can count on you to work hard to do what needs to be done regularly.

Note what you’ve finished so far.

When you can see some fruits of your labors, you get another surge of motivation to keep going. Maybe you completed 10% of the project last week. That’s 10% less than what you must do to finish. Pat yourself on the back. Have a critical awareness of what you’ve already completed as well as what you have left to do.

Emphasize the positive.

Whenever you stay focused on the positive, it just makes it easier to continue moving steadily forward. Having a positive attitude is a choice, so take advantage of it.

Avoid underestimating the time it will take to finish.

We’ve all had the experience of thinking we know how long we will spend completing a particular task, only to discover it takes much longer. If you must make an approximate guess as to how much time you’ll need, it’s better to overestimate.

Make a vow to finish what you’ve started.

Staying mindful of what you want to do and why you want to do it and then vowing to finish will serve as motivation to help you keep your nose to the grindstone. Promise yourself you’ll persist until you succeed. Then, when you have done it, you may bask in the warm fuzzies of accomplishment.

Identify when you must tweak your results.

There may be times when you wish to slightly alter your end goal. After all, situations and people change. Particularly for long-term projects and goals, stay focused so that you’ll identify when it’s time to make alterations.

         If what you want has changed, it’s okay. Just revisit the goal, tweak it, and continue moving forward.

Consider setting mini-goals.

If you need some extra motivation along the way, you might benefit from setting smaller interim goals that you can easily accomplish. It feels good to see that you’re achieving your mini-goals. The momentum you gain is astonishing.

         Chances are pretty good that you’ll be successful. And when you are, you can rejoice at the moment, and set another mini-goal ensuring you continue forward to the completion of the task.

Being persistent can be a challenge that’s well worth the effort. Be consistent and take note of what you’ve done so far. Stay as positive as you can and avoid under-estimating the time it will take for job completion. Vow to finish and stay aware of what you’re doing, so you can adjust your goal if you need to. Finally, consider setting mini-goals to persist until you finish the task.

Reasons you may want to persist

On the off chance, you are resistant to persistence, and many people are, (no judgment) look below at the list of benefits of persistence. These benefits are byproducts of the persistent attitude you are trying to build. 

Consequently, they don’t take more effort or energy on your part. If you persist, you can’t fail!

9 Benefits of persistence:

1. You become an expert. Chances are that the first time you try something, you might not be good at it. However, once you’ve done the same task numerous times, you’ll soon become better and better, becoming an expert at the task in the process.

2. Persistence motivates you to try harder. When you try and try, you’ll move a little closer to your goal with each attempt. This will help motivate you as it will show that your determination makes a difference.

3. Persistence is a sign of ambition. Only those who are truly ambitious can bring persistence into their daily lives. Therefore, the most successful people you know are also those who are most persistent.

4. You’re a good example. Whether you’re setting an example for your work colleagues or your children, if they see that you’re unwilling to give up when you face adversity, they’ll be more motivated to try harder at their challenges.

5. Persistence reveals the value of success. Being successful takes time and effort. No one ever becomes successful without making sacrifices. Focus on being persistent with your time and efforts.

6. Persistence provides crucial experience. When you’re persistent, you learn that each failure gives you another opportunity to learn. With each failure, you’ll become more resilient. You’ll also learn how you can overcome any challenge.

7. You become more aware of your weaknesses. To achieve success at anything, it’s important to understand your weaknesses. When you look at your failures, you’ll discover your faults and learn what you need to work on to become successful.

8. You’ll learn that things that come easily seldom bring many rewards. Harder tasks may require more work and consistency, but they offer much greater rewards in return. Isn’t it worth making that little extra effort to achieve greater rewards?

9. You’ll be able to create the life you desire. With persistence, you’ll be able to glide through life’s obstacles. You’ll seek solutions to overcome your challenges and keep moving forward to build a life that satisfies you.

My Final Thought

Persistence is essential, as rarely does anything of worth in life come without it. Most often, you’ll need to work hard for what you want. Still, your persistent mindset can allow you to accomplish whatever you set your heart on.

For additional information, there are two posts below.

Be Unstoppable: The Importance Of Persistence In Business

5 Tips To Improve Your Concentration

Thank you for taking the time to read this post, I hope it was positive.

Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

Thoughts are the basic mindset of life

You hear it everywhere: you are what you think. And those thoughts become your beliefs, your values, and yes, your mindsets.

Depending on your thoughts or the situation, this can be good or bad. Running away from a growling animal chasing you is a smart thing. Jumping fearfully anytime you hear a dog bark; probably isn’t good for your blood pressure.

Nonetheless, you can’t argue with the fact that many of the great minds of our time agree that thoughts are the building blocks of life experiences. To put it simply, the circumstances of your life are reflections of the way you think.

The difficulty begins when you believe that material things can make you happier. You buy into the notion that bigger, newer, and shinier, expensive things can make your life better. Some people even feel that mind-numbing substances help them to forget their reality or more easily accept it.

The truth is that you can construct a better reality for yourself by producing a change from the inside. Your thoughts are the driving force behind why you feel and act the way you do. Once, you learn to control your thoughts, feelings, and actions, understanding the link between those three, you can begin living the life you want in the way you want it.

Three life-altering tips

Incorporate these three tips into your day to help you alter negative thought patterns to positive ones. Now, let’s begin.

1. Identify flawed thought patterns

Most of our beliefs and thoughts tend to be more on the negative side. This narrative has you feeling responsible for most of what is wrong in your life. Consequently, you feel powerless and out of control. These flawed thought patterns can lead to mental disorders like anxiety and depression.

Gregory Walton, an Associate Professor of Psychology, said, “The most proximate determinant of how people behave is how they understand things, and you can change that.”

Here are some of the more common negative patterns of thought many of us suffer from. Get a pen and paper and write down which of them you most relate to. Once you’ve identified them, you can start to transform them from the negative to the positive.

• Minimizing achievements and maximizing simple errors

• All-or-nothing opposite thinking

• Generalizing people and situations

• Filtering out positive statements and focusing only on the negative

• Mind Reading- Make negative interpretations of what others say

2. Encourage healthy practices

When you do something repeatedly, it becomes a habit. The more you do it, the more likely you’ll continue doing it in the future.

Thought patterns are the same way. The more you think in a particular way, the more you’ll likely continue thinking about it the same way, repeatedly. Soon enough, it’ll start to consume your day-to-day living.

The science behind it is that each thought ignites a chemical reaction in your brain. This reaction then triggers a certain emotion. As a result, your emotions send a signal to your body, and you react accordingly.

This cycle repeats itself until you realize you’re not living the life you want for yourself. You can’t even recognize who you are anymore. An apropos quote by John Frederick Demartini, is, “Your innermost dominant thoughts become your outermost tangible reality.”

It’s then that you should decide to make a change. Recondition yourself by recognizing negative thoughts and how they affect your emotions.

The act of thinking about your thoughts and understanding the patterns behind them is what psychologists refer to as metacognition. It’s one of the best ways to find out what’s causing your thought patterns.

As with most things, reconditioning your thoughts takes time. Ready yourself for a few bumps along the way, but stick with it.

You’ll soon realize; it’s the only way to become aware of the link between your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Only then will you be able to reclaim control and live the life you deserve.

3. Pursue Cognitive-behavioral therapy

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective tool for dealing with certain mental disorders. This type of therapy focuses on the idea that our thoughts, behavior, and emotions are all linked.

The best thing about CBT is it’s all about your present, rather than focusing solely on past events. After all, it was James Allen who wrote, “You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.”

Through CBT, you learn how to challenge negative thoughts and behaviors. CBT is also unique in that it assigns practical work outside each session. It’s a great way to see first-hand how thoughts influence behavior and start to live intentionally.

Check out some of the most common CBT strategies:

• Exposure: Face your fears to confront and overcome stress and apprehension rather than avoiding them.

• Mindfulness: Focusing on the present moment through steady breathing and your five senses.

• Skills training: Practice skills to promote positive behavioral changes through role-playing, modeling, and mock scenarios.

The takeaway

Now, it’s time for a little challenge. Become more conscious of your thoughts, both the good and the bad.

Negative thoughts hold you back from living life to the fullest. They keep you chained in an exhausting loop of self-doubt, fear, and panic.

On the other hand, positive thoughts make you feel good about yourself. They uplift your mood, boost your motivation, and encourage you to work hard.

So, work on rewiring your brain to think happy, positive thoughts. Getting started may be tough in the beginning, but it’s worth it in the long run. Your future self will thank you.

My final thought

This may be counter-intuitive, but hear me out. I have a sunny disposition. I am a happy and positive thinker most of the time. But, occasionally, and in small doses, a little negativity can be useful if it prods you into positive action.

For example, you ask yourself why when you see others getting promotions, and you’re stuck in the same old place. That small dose of negativity can spur you on to learn a new skill or come up with the next great idea. Now, you too have earned the deserved promotion.  

Thanks for reading this post, please share it with your friends and family.

For other slants on this topic, read below.

When And How Thoughts Affect Your Reality

Acting The Way You Want To Feel

Successful Days Lead To A Successful Mindset

The definition of success

The meaning of success defined by most dictionaries is the achievement of a goal. I believe a success-mindset is made through daily worthy goals accomplished.

Just achieving the tasks, you need to do instead of dawdling will encourage you to continue because you’ve stayed on track and didn’t drop the ball. Staying the course helps a successful mindset to become stronger and more flexible.

Gram’s Wisdom 32

My Gram used to say, a successful day is when you go to bed feeling like you’ve achieved something worthy during your day, and it’s enough to give you a sense of happiness and satisfaction?

She told me, to have a successful day, I should begin doing just one worthwhile thing one day. Repeating that process until it became a habit.

As I grew older, Gram revisited the idea of a successful day with me. Speaking of how success may be desired by all, but what constitutes success is different for each person.

Then, Gram reminded me that the little things are important. You don’t need massive actions or huge triumphs to accomplish something significant in your life. So, stop looking for the large wins and instead, focus on the small, steady, daily wins.

With that in mind, the tips below are small changes for you to make that can have a big impact on your success.  

5 Tips you can apply to achieve more success daily

1 | Plan your tomorrow the evening before

It’s an excellent practice to spend 10 to 15 minutes each evening (or when you’ve finished with your daily work) planning what you’ll do the next day. Have a to-do list with 3-4 important tasks that MUST be completed and at least one small thing you do simply because it makes you happy.

This list will act as a schedule for the next day. Once you have completed your morning routine, you can now begin your day productively, rather than spending time in planning mode.

2 | Do the hard stuff first

I think the hard stuff is those things you truly can't bear to do, or just don’t want to do. They may or may not be difficult, but they are often stressful for you to perform.

In his book, “Eat That Frog!”, Brian Tracy emphasizes a very useful technique to eliminate procrastination. He says that you should complete the most difficult tasks of the day FIRST!

The goal is to begin working on them as soon as you can. Try not to fret about it and just get started. Procrastination leads to uncertainty and your mind begins making up excuses and plausible reasons to avoid doing the actions you’re supposed to take.

So, start without thinking and finish whatever you dread doing. Once you’ve completed these tasks, you’ll instantly feel relieved and satisfied at having accomplished something worthy of your day.

(This might be a good time to do the fun thing. As a bribe.)

3 | Move that body daily

Exercise is crucial no matter what type of job or profession you’re in. One should never be too busy to spend at least 20 to 30 minutes a day exercising. Your body will release endorphins that make you feel happier.

Exercise helps with focus, expands your reasoning, and memory skills.

Not only that, but exercise will boost your energy levels too. You’ll feel like your life is more balanced, and subconsciously you know that you’re living a more productive life.

Very often, feeling successful is about knowing that you’re doing the right things and progressing in life. This affects your emotional and mental health levels in positive ways.

4 | Challenge yourself each day

Here are a few examples of how you can challenge yourself.

Be more mindful. Let go of any negative thoughts you have without judging them.

Step outside your comfort zone by facing some small fears. You’ll be surprised by the amount of headway you can make toward dispelling them if you apply yourself.

Build your confidence by going after and learning the skills necessary for something new you have always wanted or something you have just put off.

Stop complaining about everything. No one owes you, no one cares, and no one wants to hear it. Instead, try being kinder and more compassionate to yourself and others.

Read more books. Read a book by an unfamiliar author about an unaccustomed subject. Push yourself to read beyond your present understanding, and you will grow.

Success is a habit… and this is how you train yourself to seek success daily. Inch by inch, you’ll get better.

5 | You are accountable for your success

Accountability is something you do for yourself, not something others do for you.

Do you truly understand what you value? YOU get to design what is a worthy successful day. Have you ensured that what you choose is aligned with the results you want?

Did you accomplish what you proposed to do? Were you sidetracked and did you waste time along the way? Did you check off the tasks on your to-do list?

Do you creatively deal with your obstacles, and learn from your failures as well as your successes? Are you measuring your results immediately, or at a length of time to see your progress?

You must hold yourself accountable every single day. No one can do this for you. You are ultimately responsible for your success or failure. So, evaluate your performance, honestly.

Initially, adopting these 5 techniques might be challenging because they’re new to you. But as the days go by, you’ll realize that they are extremely helpful and aid your progress while reducing anxiety and freeing up more time for you to do what you love.

My final thought

Since success has different meanings for each of us, your success will likely look different than mine. Your day will also be distinctly unique. Yet, we all measure success in the same way, by goals achieved, regardless of the kinds of goals set. Here’s to your future success.

For more information related to this post check out the links below.

5 Ways To Have A Success Mindset

Appreciate The Little Things

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Does Your Role Model Have A Positive Mindset?

Gram’s wisdom 31

For those of you who have been following along in my blog, you know how much I admired and depended on my Gram. She was my role model for more than fifty years. Even today the many things she taught me are a part of who I am. The lessons I learned from her were a gift to me. A gift that I am sharing with my grandson and you, my readers.

What is the role of a positive role model?

Having a role model who has a positive mindset makes a huge difference in your approach to life. It doesn’t matter who it is, or even if it’s more than one person. Multiple role models may be advantageous if you want to be well-rounded in life. The critical thing is they encourage and inspire you to do and be better.

The value of finding constructive role models is much more than having someone to look up to. You need someone who has been there and can show you a path that helps you live a more rewarding, fulfilling life.

In this article, I want to speak about the benefits of having positive role models. It’s also necessary that you know what makes good role models and how they can help you build a successful life.

The value of a good role model

There is an excellent quote by Corado I. Generoso who said, “No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself.”

You know you have a good role model when they have a strong set of core values. They don’t blame others for their mistakes but are willing to accept responsibility for them and learn from them. They will also apologize and find ways to make amends to the injured party.

Positive role models are resilient. Influencing your decisions for the better. When you’re going through a hard time, you look to them for support and encouragement. By emulating how they overcome obstacles, you can overcome them as well strengthening your resilience.

That guidance and sense of backing is an inspiration to work hard. Then, little by little, your true potential is revealed. You notice you’re doing things you once felt were impossibilities.

Below are some reasons why it’s important to find positive role models for your life.

Learn what you shouldn’t be doing

No one is ever right all the time or successful at everything they do. Not even the most fortunate or richest people.

The difference between them and others is they don’t stay down but know how to pick themselves up after a fall and continue moving forward. They understand that mistakes are just temporary bumps on the road to success. 

Positive role models see their mistakes as learning experiences. They make their mistakes work to their advantage. They become more aware of what to do next time and what not to do.

When you look at what others have done (or not done), it can be a huge motivator. It also gives you a sense of reassurance that you’re not alone that others have been through comparable situations. They’ve come out the other side in one piece, and a lot wiser and so can you.

Becoming a better version of you

Each one of us is here for a reason. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time.

Why not focus on the things you’re good at? These strengths are unique to you. Then, if you come across something you’re not good at, you can do one of two things. You can either learn the skills to do it or just stop dwelling on it. (Gram called this fix it or forget it.) Either way, it’s more important to apply your energy to the things that matter more to you as an individual.

You must focus on becoming the best version of yourself. This is an everyday practice. Make a list of your set of core values. Another good idea is to list both your short-term and long-term goals. Then, as you achieve them, don’t forget to celebrate those accomplishments.

At the end of the day, you don’t need to prove anything to anyone except you. Show confidence in yourself. Even if you don’t feel it in the beginning. Confidence builds with each success.

Only then will you be able to let your inner light shine. I believe that’s one of the biggest lessons you can learn from a positive role model.

Strive to persevere

Your past accomplishments don’t guarantee future victories all the time. Some days will be perfect where everything goes your way. Other days, you’ll feel the anxiety and pressure that life can bring.

A positive role model can help you stay grounded during challenging times. They encourage you to keep moving along your chosen path. They help you keep your eyes on the prize as you strive to work harder to reach the goals you set.

When it comes to your pursuits in life, it’s better to be tenacious and steadfast. A good role model teaches you the importance of never giving up. They also show you the best ways to deal with any setbacks you come across in the future.

How do they do that? Simple! They have a sense of purpose and know where they want to go in life.

A great example of this is Thomas Edison. You may have heard of him; the man who’s known worldwide for his multiple inventions.

Even though his innovations have reshaped life as we know it, he wasn’t always the big success we now know him to be. His teachers said he wouldn’t amount to much. Then, as an adult, he was even fired a couple of times. The reasons? His bosses said he was a “non-productive” employee.

Not only that, but it took him 1,000 attempts to invent the light bulb. He was even asked how he felt about failing all those times. Edison answered with confidence, “I didn’t fail...The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.” That’s the power of perseverance and determination.

Look for inspiration

Experts recommend you imitate your role model’s confidence, positivity, and persistence.

The important thing to remember is that a role model is someone to admire and look up to. You should aspire to have a similar outlook on life to achieve success in your own life.

The next step is to brainstorm. Go crazy with your ideas. After all, every invention ever made began as someone’s vision of a better future.

Let your imagination run wild. Use your role models’ successes and failures to come up with new and better ways to do something.

My final thought

Finding positive role models is like finding an untapped resource. These are people who you may or may not know personally. Still, you feel they’re worthy of your attention. You look up to them and feel inspired by their compassion, self-assurance, and integrity.

Tapping into their experiences can help you manage life’s ups and downs. You can channel their confidence and determination anytime you need a little pick-me-up. Then, take everything you’ve learned from them and blaze your trail in this world.

For more information about role models look below.

10 Ways To Be A Positive Role Model

Happiness Begins Within You

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Mindfulness Can Help Improve Or Change Your Mindset

Mindfulness in addition to mindset 

Don’t be afraid that mindfulness practice will make a hash of your established mindsets. They can play nicely together if you allow each some room to breathe.

What are the simple definitions of mindset and mindfulness?

Mindset: the established set of attitudes held by someone.

Mindfulness: a state of active, open attention to the present.

Your mindset along with a mindfulness practice are important frameworks that complement each other. Your awareness of how your perceptual structures work can help you form mindsets that are beneficial for the way you want to live.

Taking mindful action

Being mindful can be broken down into its main elements and the actions you can take on those main ideas. In many ways, it is like a mind map. Here are a few examples:

A) Mindful Movement Ideas-Yoga-Tai Chi-Walking in the Forest

B) Mental Mindfulness-Visualizing-Meditation

C) Creative Mindful Ideas-Journaling-Classical Music

D) Ritual Mindfulness-Silent Prayer-Contemplation in A Personal Space

When making mindfulness your daily routine, you are brought to a greater awareness of your inner self and surroundings. Knowing and loving yourself allows you to shift love and kindness to others. In this hectic world, people are losing a connection to themselves, others, and the surrounding world. Daily mindfulness is your way of reinforcing all those connections and the pathway to a happy life.

Choosing a mindful practice

People are unique individuals. This means that how you choose to practice mindfulness may not work for others. It becomes an experiment, where you test out an array of mindfulness exercises or practices and then take note of which ones benefit you the most.

The previously mentioned ritual movement and mindful movements are a few of the main branches in the list. To get started with mindfulness, try one or all the following basic mindful practices and build up from there. Boost your practice by turning it into a routine.

1.  Yoga is an excellent choice for physical health, and the mental health benefits are also outstanding. When you feel better physically, it reduces stress, depression, and anxiety. There are many yoga styles, including mindful yoga, where you are focusing less on the physical aspect and putting it more on the overall awareness of self. There are four poses you can try in Mindful yoga that will start you on your journey. They are Mountain Pose-Tree Pose-Low Lunge-Reclining Bound Angle Pose.

2.  Mindful writing will help you to move thoughts from your brain to paper. It is helpful to do it right after a meditation session. In mindful writing, you can close your eyes for a moment and let thoughts announce themselves. Then open your eyes and just let the words flow onto the paper. There is no structure in this, instead, you just use free flow and see where it takes you.

Write a sentence or two, then stop to breathe in deeply and exhale. Feel the warmth in your body and let gratitude and love enter when you breathe. Start writing again for a few moments and then take a break and breathe. While you are doing your writing and breathing, you will enter a new meditative state that gives you peace and happiness. Try mindful writing every day at the same time.

3.  The practice of daily mindful meditation is one of the most basic ways to add mindfulness to your day. Meditation can be done for 5 minutes or 30 if you prefer. As with mindful writing, try to do it at the same time of day and make sure to have a quiet space.

Mindful meditation has many health benefits, reducing depression, anxiety, and sleeping issues, for starters. It is also highly recommended for you to teach your children mindful mediation due to it being easy and great for calming them in stressful situations.

Mindful meditation has very few requirements. You need a comfortable place to sit by yourself. Close your eyes and begin to breathe. Focus on the air coming in and believe it has healing powers. Give your thought only to the air entering your lungs and then being slowly expelled.

Mindful meditation means being in the moment and not judging yourself or any added thoughts that enter your mind. When this happens, acknowledge them, and let them flow out while returning to focus on your breathing.

Linking mindfulness and your daily routine

Everyone should take stock of what their day is like. Your day is going to be different than the neighbor on the left and right of you. The neighbor on the left may have five kids, while the neighbor on the right is elderly but quite active.

What goes on in your day? Do you work outside the home and have a million things to do at work, before rushing to the grocery and then home to get the children fed and ready for homework? Once you can write out a typical day, you can then come up with a plan for making mindfulness part of your day. Here are daily tips to review and pick the right ones for you.

1.  Disconnect from your cellphone. It is a distraction in many forms. Unlike the phone of old which was attached to the wall with buttons to push, your cellphone with all the apps, emails, and notifications can be an overwhelming nuisance.

You want to incorporate mindfulness and stress relief into your life, but it is difficult when you are obsessed if the coffee shop you are visiting has Wi-Fi or not. At home, put your cell phone in a different room. Before you use it, ask yourself is it necessary to do so.

Spend the time without the phone, practicing mindfulness as you enjoy that fruit snack. Let the berry you are eating, squirt the tangy juice into your mouth, and hold it for a moment savoring the sweet flavor. Try sitting in a quiet room with a candle and just be mindful of the quiet surroundings and how the flame of the candle burns with orange, yellow and blue colors.

2.  It is highly recommended that you have several journals that to write in. Have a daily journal for the thoughts that come to mind. Pick up your gratitude journal and write what you are grateful for.

The mindful journal will help you to reduce stress and be clear about your life. In the mindful journal, you can write down whatever feelings come to your mind. Reflect on why you feel the way you do and what effect it has on your stress levels? Many people write from their heart into a mindful journal and use it as a brain dump to get all the thoughts out of their head and onto paper.

Another process is writing down what you regularly think about. Is there a series of thoughts that always run through your head when you are working on big projects or talking to a significant other? When you write these down and come back to them later, you can gain clarity on why you feel the way you do.

This will help you to mindfully solve any problems by not attaching a big weight to them. Instead, look at them, ponder how significant they are and whether you need to find a way to address them or just let them float away as a neutral feeling.

3.  Traveling to work often brings stress. There may be a long commute or delayed trains, subways, or buses. Take stock of how you feel during your commute as it may be something you have to do for a significant number of years. Do you become agitated at other passengers, noise, or cars cutting in and out of lanes? This is the time to be mindful and after doing a few calming breaths, ask yourself why you feel this way. Don’t allow emotion to enter into it. Instead, move outside yourself as if you have a twin in the seat next to you. You can hear them saying, “Yes but how does it make you feel? Does it serve you in any way to feel like that? How can you let it go?”

This is something you can practice on every workday, and you will start to notice that you no longer dread the alarm clock signaling that you must get up and head out on a commute.

My final thoughts

I happen to believe that the ability to get a better read on your thoughts and emotions in a nonjudgmental way is liberating. Regardless of why you decide to try a mindfulness practice, you will find plenty of benefits to make the effort worthwhile.

For more information on Mindfulness check out the links below.

6 Mindful Exercises You Can Try Today

Mindfulness Relationship Exercises

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Choose A Happiness Mindset

Gram’s Wisdom 30: Define happy

Happiness is such a personal thing my Gram told me. She believed each person must define their happiness, that there is no one-size-fits-all guide. Often, she told me it’s easy to be happy when things go your way, but that is an external source of happiness and doesn’t last. And, why so many people are unhappy.

From the time I was young, all I wanted in life was to be happy, to have a happy mindset. Gram said I, and others, could think happiness into being, that it is a choice. But it must be more than just a wish. She had said, what it takes is an understanding of what grounds you and has a heartfelt meaning for you.

I saw my Gram live a happy life. She had normal sadness and disappointments, but they never kept her down for long. “There will always be someone worse off than you”, she frequently reminded me. Instead, her choice of internal happiness kept her smiling and looking forward to better days.

What does it take to make you happy?

If you've ever felt dissatisfied with your life, a job, or any other professional situation, you've probably heard this old saw; do what makes you happy. However, this advice isn’t particularly helpful, and it's also misguided. Truthfully, you can’t always do what makes you happy. But you can still choose to be happy.

These days, the pursuit of happiness is a deeply ingrained concept. We're taught to believe our lives should be happy, and we're encouraged to do whatever it takes to achieve that.

But, like everything else in life, happiness isn't that simple.

What happiness is

In its most basic form, happiness is a sense of more positives than negatives in life. Some may tell you happiness refers to what you can get from others and your environment. In short, you're happy when your material and emotional needs are met.

Look at Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Outmoded or not, it gives us a good idea of what people need to be happy and the importance of each of those areas in our lives - from basic biological needs like food and shelter to more elevated needs like self-development and creativity. In other words, it explains human nature in terms that most of us recognize.

However, satisfying our needs doesn't always make us happy. And in many cases, that comes in direct contradiction with the happiness we seek.

For instance, a job that covers your basic needs for food, shelter, and security could be standing in the way of your need for creativity, flexibility, and autonomy.

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On top of that, there is a tendency to assume happiness is static, as something you either have or don't. However, this isn't the situation, at all. Instead, happiness is flexible and transitory.

Is the quest for happiness illusory?

Not fundamentally. Instead, to find happiness, you need to redefine it, first.

You can redefine that happiness by making it broader -- it's not just about the good feeling you get when your needs are met, or when you receive something pleasing from someone else. For some, it’s about what you can give or do for others, and how giving affords you a purpose and a connection to your community.

According to psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, giving helps you reaffirm your very humanity. It makes you forget yourself and give yourself to the person in front of you.

Change your focus

With that in mind here are 5 simple things you can do to switch the focus from your thoughts and needs to someone else's.

1 | Listen to others. Approach every conversation as a chance to connect with a person. So, instead of just waiting for your turn to speak, pay attention to every word the other person is saying. Notice the tone of his voice, his body language. And don't forget to ask questions.

2 | Make something for someone. Can you knit, make origami figures, or draw? Can you cook or bake? Make something and give it away. Never expect anything in return.

3 | Volunteer your time. Take five minutes to think of what's important to you. What are your values? Is there a cause you'd like to champion? Do you have time or skills to give away to that cause?

4 | Kindness is never a waste of time. Make it a purpose to be kind to others every single day. Believe it or not, little acts of kindness have a contagious effect. Compliment someone. Notice if she did something with her hair. Help him with his groceries. Offer to do some extra work to help a colleague.

5 | Mentor someone. We all started somewhere. We've all been lost, confused, and exhausted. Perhaps, you have answers and insights that can help someone beginning his/ her journey.

By giving, you're creating connections with those around you. Life stops being just about seeking self-satisfaction and it takes on a deeper layer of commitment and meaning. Life is no longer all about you. It's about producing a positive effect on other people's lives. Moreover, you can be happier and more fulfilled.

My final thought

The happiness mindset I wanted so dearly as a young person has been my favorite mindset for more years than I can count. I wake up happy and grateful every day because it is my choice. Because of it, people who know me believe I have a perpetually sunny disposition. Because of it, I am resilient. You too can choose happiness, define it into being, and live a less stressful more positive life.

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For further information, you might like this post by Lalisa Doniho

5 Reasons Why Happiness Is All About Your Mindset

Or this past post of mine

It’s Your Life Discover Your Path To Happiness