How Do You Live Intentionally?

Society would have us believe a busy life is a successful one. Our society also shows us that the external is more valuable than the internal. Yet we live in a world where our mental health problems are sky-high. But we have a choice. We can control our lives with intention or allow fate to handle things.

If you think intentional living sounds confusing and complicated, you're probably not alone. It does sound quite daunting, but it's a way of life and you can use it to create a better one. You have maybe seen it discussed online or even overhead people discussing the concept. It's all over the place these days, but what on earth does it mean? What does intentional living look like? Can anyone do it?

Of course! It's simply living your life with purpose. But before you can do that, you must identify what you want your life to look like. The heart of intentional living when you reduce it down to its basics is about living a life that reflects your values and beliefs. It's about directing your life and being proactive instead of being reactive, always fighting against the latest cataclysm.

Living with intention looks different for each person because everyone has different values. For you, it could mean taking long walks with your partner because you prioritize quality time and movement. For your friend, it could be scheduling their favorite activities because their highest value is self-care. Maybe another friend prioritizes spirituality, so they make a habit of going to church every week.

Why does it matter?

There are plenty of benefits to living intentionally. First and foremost, when you live a life of intention you respect your values and beliefs, which has two major interlinked benefits. Intentional living helps improve your mental health and one of the reasons for this is it is an excellent stress management tool.

If you are living a life with a purpose that reflects your deeply held beliefs, you won't need to stress out over every decision because your values act as your north star. And a stress reduction is positive for your mental health. You'll also be much happier, partly because you're less stressed and enjoying better mental health, but also because you will feel more inner peace from the manner with which you are living your life.

All those feed into intentional living. It’s about making conscious choices and acting in a way that aligns with your values. Living with intention gives you control; it helps you show up every day and tap into your inner power. It supports present living by defining the life you want and delivering on it by taking intentional action. It can be profoundly satisfying because it helps you lead a fulfilling life.

What does it look like?

It's important to know that even though it's a powerful choice to make, living intentionally won't bring you endless joy or peace. It isn't always easy, particularly at the start. It will probably be awkward; it might feel challenging. But isn't any major change in your life the same? The more you persevere with it the more it will become second nature.

Why is it so hard at the beginning? Many of your values and beliefs will be a consequence of your upbringing. For many people, it's difficult to process that these values you absorbed from your culture, family, or religion no longer serve or resonate with you. You need to give yourself the space and grace to deal with this at your speed.

The world is all about distraction and that can easily tear you from your intentional journey. You can't let anything deter you from the journey you choose for yourself. You need to learn how to shut out or at least turn down the noise.

Then you need to identify your values because they are the foundation of intentional living. If you already have your values nailed down, then you're ahead of the game. It's worth taking the time to understand why your values are important to you and what activities tie into them. Do they share anything in common?

So, what does intentional living look like? It looks different for everyone, but there are certain tips you can act on regardless of the values that best reflect your beliefs.

Create a morning intention.

Intentional living looks like living your values. It means taking action that aligns with those values and making decisions that reflect your beliefs. It's an everyday practice, and if you decide out of alignment, you can always do better tomorrow. It takes time to get into the swing of things, but if you seek to stay true to your values, you're doing the best you can.

So, how do you take an intention and break it down to daily living? You can start with a morning intention – it can be a sentence or just a few words. It might be a reminder of how you would live to make choices or behave. Make this part of your morning routine and tie it into a ritual like meditation. It will become as routine as a morning cup of coffee in no time.

Awareness and focus.

You don't have to start over, change your entire life, or walk away from everything you know to live intentionally. It’s about living your life with awareness. You can bring intentionality to how you live currently. For example, while you prepare dinner, try to tap into all your senses. When you run errands or do chores try to connect the why.

So, you're washing dishes, so you can provide meals for yourself and your family. You're hanging laundry, ironing, and cleaning to care for yourself or create an organized and peaceful home. You can also pay more attention when you move your body – notice how it feels. And when you exercise, you can tie it into an intention such as choosing yoga to feel more deeply connected to your physical self.

Small variations like this are a useful way to reframe and refocus.

Small changes.

You can create small changes that are done habitually and will eventually make a large impact. Scale back on social media use before bed. Create a morning ritual to connect to yourself and savor quiet time rather than rushing about stressing. Schedule a weekly call or meet up with friends to nurture your relationships.

Recount your day.

You begin your morning with intention, and you should end the day similarly. Bedtime is an excellent opportunity to recount the way your intention contributed to your day. You may, or may not choose, to journal this; you can simply think about them. If your number one value is compassion, then you can quietly think about all the times you were compassionate throughout the day.

What do you want in life?

If that isn't enough to convince you to live an intentional life, check out these 5 additional reasons.

1 | Presence

Living with awareness forces you to focus on the here and now, which means you notice what brings you joy and what doesn't.

You begin to get a grip on what lights your fire and fuels your motivation. It naturally makes you more present and the more present you are, the more awareness you develop.

2 | Improved relationships.

Living intentionally obliges you to take responsibility for what you can control and let go of what you can't. Improved relationships are a natural by-product. Intentional living forces accountability.

3 | Healthy boundaries.

Self-confidence is key when it comes to establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries. You feel comfortable enough to say no when you're running low on time or energy.

You stop feeling guilty about saying yes to the things that serve you. You start to recognize toxic relationships that drag you down. That's the perfect recipe for setting and maintaining boundaries that serve you well.

4 | Improved mental health.

By shining a spotlight on your mental health. You notice just how important it is to take care of your emotional wellness.

Self-care is an important component of good mental health. The trickle-down effect touches every other part of your life.

5 | Improved physical health.

Stress is one of the biggest risk factors for poor health.

Intentional living is an excellent way to reduce your stress levels. Focusing on the present helps block out a lot of stress you have about past mistakes and your future.

With the improvement in your mental health, your physical health is bolstered.

My final thoughts.

Intentional living is a holistic lifestyle and once you start to embrace it, you will begin to see all the benefits listed above. I believe your objective in life should be to serve your values and pursue joy, living intentionally is a perfect way to unlock that.

So, what are you waiting for? Give it a try. Begin living intentionally today.

For more information, please read these posts.

An Intro To Intentional Living How Not To Live On Auto-Pilot

Create An Intentional Life Using These 10 Tips

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Does Your Role Model Have A Positive Mindset?

Gram’s wisdom 31

For those of you who have been following along in my blog, you know how much I admired and depended on my Gram. She was my role model for more than fifty years. Even today the many things she taught me are a part of who I am. The lessons I learned from her were a gift to me. A gift that I am sharing with my grandson and you, my readers.

What is the role of a positive role model?

Having a role model who has a positive mindset makes a huge difference in your approach to life. It doesn’t matter who it is, or even if it’s more than one person. Multiple role models may be advantageous if you want to be well-rounded in life. The critical thing is they encourage and inspire you to do and be better.

The value of finding constructive role models is much more than having someone to look up to. You need someone who has been there and can show you a path that helps you live a more rewarding, fulfilling life.

In this article, I want to speak about the benefits of having positive role models. It’s also necessary that you know what makes good role models and how they can help you build a successful life.

The value of a good role model

There is an excellent quote by Corado I. Generoso who said, “No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself.”

You know you have a good role model when they have a strong set of core values. They don’t blame others for their mistakes but are willing to accept responsibility for them and learn from them. They will also apologize and find ways to make amends to the injured party.

Positive role models are resilient. Influencing your decisions for the better. When you’re going through a hard time, you look to them for support and encouragement. By emulating how they overcome obstacles, you can overcome them as well strengthening your resilience.

That guidance and sense of backing is an inspiration to work hard. Then, little by little, your true potential is revealed. You notice you’re doing things you once felt were impossibilities.

Below are some reasons why it’s important to find positive role models for your life.

Learn what you shouldn’t be doing

No one is ever right all the time or successful at everything they do. Not even the most fortunate or richest people.

The difference between them and others is they don’t stay down but know how to pick themselves up after a fall and continue moving forward. They understand that mistakes are just temporary bumps on the road to success. 

Positive role models see their mistakes as learning experiences. They make their mistakes work to their advantage. They become more aware of what to do next time and what not to do.

When you look at what others have done (or not done), it can be a huge motivator. It also gives you a sense of reassurance that you’re not alone that others have been through comparable situations. They’ve come out the other side in one piece, and a lot wiser and so can you.

Becoming a better version of you

Each one of us is here for a reason. Comparing yourself to others is a waste of time.

Why not focus on the things you’re good at? These strengths are unique to you. Then, if you come across something you’re not good at, you can do one of two things. You can either learn the skills to do it or just stop dwelling on it. (Gram called this fix it or forget it.) Either way, it’s more important to apply your energy to the things that matter more to you as an individual.

You must focus on becoming the best version of yourself. This is an everyday practice. Make a list of your set of core values. Another good idea is to list both your short-term and long-term goals. Then, as you achieve them, don’t forget to celebrate those accomplishments.

At the end of the day, you don’t need to prove anything to anyone except you. Show confidence in yourself. Even if you don’t feel it in the beginning. Confidence builds with each success.

Only then will you be able to let your inner light shine. I believe that’s one of the biggest lessons you can learn from a positive role model.

Strive to persevere

Your past accomplishments don’t guarantee future victories all the time. Some days will be perfect where everything goes your way. Other days, you’ll feel the anxiety and pressure that life can bring.

A positive role model can help you stay grounded during challenging times. They encourage you to keep moving along your chosen path. They help you keep your eyes on the prize as you strive to work harder to reach the goals you set.

When it comes to your pursuits in life, it’s better to be tenacious and steadfast. A good role model teaches you the importance of never giving up. They also show you the best ways to deal with any setbacks you come across in the future.

How do they do that? Simple! They have a sense of purpose and know where they want to go in life.

A great example of this is Thomas Edison. You may have heard of him; the man who’s known worldwide for his multiple inventions.

Even though his innovations have reshaped life as we know it, he wasn’t always the big success we now know him to be. His teachers said he wouldn’t amount to much. Then, as an adult, he was even fired a couple of times. The reasons? His bosses said he was a “non-productive” employee.

Not only that, but it took him 1,000 attempts to invent the light bulb. He was even asked how he felt about failing all those times. Edison answered with confidence, “I didn’t fail...The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.” That’s the power of perseverance and determination.

Look for inspiration

Experts recommend you imitate your role model’s confidence, positivity, and persistence.

The important thing to remember is that a role model is someone to admire and look up to. You should aspire to have a similar outlook on life to achieve success in your own life.

The next step is to brainstorm. Go crazy with your ideas. After all, every invention ever made began as someone’s vision of a better future.

Let your imagination run wild. Use your role models’ successes and failures to come up with new and better ways to do something.

My final thought

Finding positive role models is like finding an untapped resource. These are people who you may or may not know personally. Still, you feel they’re worthy of your attention. You look up to them and feel inspired by their compassion, self-assurance, and integrity.

Tapping into their experiences can help you manage life’s ups and downs. You can channel their confidence and determination anytime you need a little pick-me-up. Then, take everything you’ve learned from them and blaze your trail in this world.

For more information about role models look below.

10 Ways To Be A Positive Role Model

Happiness Begins Within You

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Create Your Intentional Life

Live with intention or by default

There’s much talk about intentional living lately. But what does this mean? Intentional living is consciously living in alignment with your values and beliefs.

It’s opposite to what many people do. They live in default mode, being satisfied to only take action when disasters occur.

Intentional living is about an awareness of who you want to be and how you want to live. Of making that choice and then being disciplined enough to do it consistently.

How to live your life intentionally

Take the time, take control of your life, and make decisions that matter. Not to your Mom or your best friend. Matter to you.  Choose the course for your life or life will make those choices for you. And those choices will likely be haphazard and unpleasant. In other words, take control while you still have time to create an exciting life or one of peace and calm if that is your preference.

Try these 10 tips to help you live with intention:

1 | Your choices matter. An intentional life is all about making choices that make sense for you and your beliefs. Determine the kind of life you want to lead and direction you want to take that will create the results you want. Change as necessary life isn’t static.

But choose. Your past needn’t be an issue. You may have been afraid to make a choice and fail. It’s true, you can’t fail if you never try. You don’t want to make an incorrect choice. However, this thinking is a trap. You should make a reasonable choice and give it your best effort. Without it, you may not experience the success and happiness that you deserve.

Your greatest power is the power of decision.

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”

— Roy Disney

2 | Visualize your dream life in detail. Have a target in mind. Think about how you’d like to live. Be bold-spirited and leave your doubts and limitations behind for a moment. Go for broke it’s your life.

Consider your ideal day. How would you like to spend your time? Who else would be there? Where would you live? What would your finances be like? Does it include travel or education? Give it some thought. Write it down in a journal or a piece of paper. Refer back to it often.

3 | Know your values and beliefs. A large part of intentional living is living aligned with your values and your beliefs. It’s not about reacting to everything in the most expedient fashion. It’s about proactively living on your terms. It’s necessary to be intimately familiar with your beliefs and values to accomplish that.

4 |Prioritize the first things first. Money isn’t the main thing, but it’s an important thing. Money is great for solving many of life’s challenges such as food and housing. It’s also a necessary resource that affords you the ability to do the things you want to do like traveling. If you’re having financial struggles, it makes the most sense to work on your finances first.

Make a logical progression for each part of your life you’d like to change. Your health is key to your enjoyment of life. If you need to lose 100 pounds, going for a daily walk and eliminating high-calorie drinks would be a good beginning. After a month of walking, you could add additional exercise and diet changes.

Focus on financial and health issues first. After you’ve gained some momentum, you can address the other parts of your life.

5 | Set goals for the major areas of your life. These typically include your home, career, relationships, and education. Of course, you can add other categories as you need them, depending on your aspirations and values.

6 | Choose or create habits to support those goals. Intentional living is much easier with supportive habits in place. You’ll run out of willpower otherwise. Select simple, but effective habits that will help you to reach your goals and begin implementing them.

7 | Decide how you will spend your time. Most of us don’t give a lot of thought to what we do each day. Keeping your dreams and values in mind, what is the best thing for you to do at this moment? What do you need to accomplish today? Have you made a plan? Make choices and avoid operating on autopilot.

8 | Master your impulses. Most of our impulses lead us down the wrong path. They’re often habitual and related to pleasure or discomfort avoidance. Intentional living is about making rational decisions and exercising consistent follow through regardless of comfort. Following your impulses are the opposite of intentional living.

9 | Reject distractions. This includes all distracting thoughts of the past or future. Intention requires presence. Distractions are things you shouldn’t be doing at that moment. Even paying your bills can be a distraction if you should be doing something more important at that time.

10 | Take stock of your day. How well did you do today at living intentionally? What challenges did you face? Where did you fall short? What can you do tomorrow even better than you did it today? What win did you have that you can build on? Learn something new each day for the future.

 My final thought

Are you choosing and creating your life or just living by default? Having a life, that you love will never happen by accident. Be courageous enough to choose the life you want for yourself. Decide the kind of person you want to be. Make your decisions and choose your actions accordingly. Remember, when you refuse to make a choice, you have made your choice.

Be present in your life. Be in control of your life. Be happy in your life.

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Reflect, Change, And Grow

Grow beyond your comfort zone

With a New Year just around the corner, many of you are forming plans for what you hope to achieve, and who you hope to become in the future. It’s important that before you finalize those plans, you have spent some time in reflection on this year’s accomplishments.

You will want to ask yourself these questions first. How have you have grown this year as a person and what did you contribute to the world? And lastly, did you bring your previous year’s plans to fruition or are you still the same person who had big dreams last December?

If you succeeded in your aims this year, then I am positive you know the amount of effort it will take to repeat it. If not, it’s time for you to move from your comfort zone because it’s not serving you. Make some scary changes, or just one, if more seems too overwhelming.

Here are some reasons to change:

1.     Growth takes change

Change is necessary for growth, in fact, growth is impossible without change! You can choose to stay safely in your familiar comfort zone, but if you do, you’ll be missing out on all life has to offer.

The challenge of a new job or moving to a different city might be uncomfortable, especially at first. But it’s guaranteed that change is likely to lead you down all sorts of unexpected paths, with rewards you could never have imagined, just waiting for you. Wouldn’t you rather be a butterfly than remain a caterpillar?

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.”

— Margaret J. Wheatley

2.     Flexibility aids resilience

Change forces you to become more flexible. Faced with large unexpected changes, you learn to adapt and move with the flow. And once you’ve learned to roll with whatever the circumstances are, you begin to see the positives and rise to the challenges. Even something as negative as losing your job can open you up to new prospects and exciting opportunities, such as changing industries, furthering your education, or starting your own business.

3.     Focusing on your values creates change

There’s nothing quite like change either good or bad to make you focus on what’s genuinely important in your life. Negative changes like illness, divorce, or business reverses can help you recognize the importance of relationships, with family, and friends. Having to make tough decisions can sharpen your focus on what your ethical framework is, what you will and won’t stand for in your life.

4.     Small steps can accomplish big things

Not all changes are big or life-changing. Small incremental steps, made over time to your habits and routines, can add up to huge changes in the future. You might start getting off the bus one stop early and after a few months find yourself walking to the office every day.

Making small changes often has a snowball effect and before you know it you have accomplished that big, seemingly impossible task.

5.     Confident as you meet life’s challenges

You might be surprised to discover how strong you are. Your confidence will increase as you deal with life’s challenges and you’ll quickly learn what you can handle and what you can’t.

And as a bonus, change can make you a more compassionate and kinder person and give you more insight into other people’s circumstances and choices.

Learn to see change as an opportunity, not a threat, and you will live a much more fulfilled and exciting life.

I hope you find this post valuable and share it with your family and friends.

For further reading check out this post from a year ago.

Using Self-Reflection To Your Advantage

Your Routines Favorable Or Failure

My morning routine

I have been asked by a few people to share my morning routine. So, before I begin for those who don’t know me well, I am fortunate to work at home but, my honey still works a 9-5 job and we have 4 dogs.

6:30 Get up, let the dogs out, visit the powder room, and put the coffee on. I like to get comfortable on the patio, weather permitting, with my gratitude journal and write down what I felt grateful for on the previous day. These are large things like being grateful for the roof over our heads, or work that is fulfilling, and small things such as playing catch with our dog Luke, or taking food to a widowed neighbor.

When I complete my journal entry it’s time to sit quietly and mindfully soak up the beauty of a new morning. The consistent breeze is always welcome and the birds gathering for breakfast with their different songs are a joy to hear. 

7:15 I stack a couple of records on the Victrola, I believe music should always fill a home. Michael gets up and together we prepare 4 dog breakfasts and hand them out. While he goes off to ready himself for work, I make his breakfast, pack his lunch, wash up dog bowls fill bird feeders, change birdbath water, and put breakfast out for my stray cat.

8:00 A kiss goodbye and out the door he goes. Time to gather laundry and start a wash. While the washer runs for the next hour or so, I do housework. Different tasks based on the day of the week.

9:00 Hang laundry on the lines, play catch with Luke.

9:30-12:30 Work on my business. I do the harder tasks early since the dogs, nap longest in the morning.

12:30-1:30 Eat lunch, play with the dogs, and take the laundry off the line.

My morning routine today is different than it was ten years ago when I worked out of my home. Yet it still serves me and allows me to be productive. As I am prone to frequent migraines my aim has always been the same. Enough structure in a routine so I needn’t think and can save that for my work. With enough flexibility to put off anything that is not either a necessity or urgent.   

“The most important thing I do each morning is steady myself by not allowing a sense of urgency to penetrate.”

— Matthew Weatherly-White

Are your routines beneficial or unsuccessful?

I know many people who hate the word routine. For them it conjures up images of drudgery and lack of spontaneity. But, we all have them to lesser or greater degrees and they save us time and increase our productivity by reducing the amount of decisions we need to make throughout our day. The trick is to keep them fluid and not so rigid that they feel like a straitjacket holding us back

Your present routines may be alright, but are they helping you to close in on your goals? What about supporting your priorities and values? When was the last time you looked at how well they are serving you?  

Are your routines changeable? Are you able to make incremental changes that enable them to serve you? Even the smallest tweak in a routine can make a huge difference, because they’re performed with regularity, and that adds up.

Questions about your routine:

Morning routine. From the time your alarm goes off until you’re out the front door, what do you do?

●        What time do you get up? How many times do you hit snooze?

●        What do you think about while lying in bed?

●        Do you have a healthy breakfast?

●        Do you do anything besides eat and prepare for work? If so, what? Are you doing those things optimally?

●        How much time do you waste that you could be using productively?

 
Evaluate your daily routine

How is your usual routine working for you? Are there any distinct faults or places/times where you would like to make alterations?

Learn to recognize wasted time. Look at your routines and ascertain how much time you squander every day. Include all valueless activities, such as watching TV. You may find it shocking when you realize the number of hours you’re wasting. Instead, consider how to improve the use of that time.

Examine your goals, values, and priorities. Make some time to write these down. It’s not feasible to assess your routine without having a standard to evaluate against. This step is necessary. If you haven’t any idea about what’s important to you and what you hope to accomplish, you’re seriously wasting a lot of your time.

Don’t forget any challenges you presently have in your life. Do your routines help, harm, or have no effect on solving those challenges?

Now, go back to your routines and make those changes that make sense for you.

●        What activities can you do each day that contribute to what you’re trying to accomplish?

●        What can you do each day that will put you closer to reaching your goals?

●        What is the optimum way to use your time in each of your routines?

It’s possible to accomplish more in the morning than just getting yourself to work on time. And, with a proactive pre-bedtime routine, you could teach yourself to play an instrument or acquire a new skill that could help your career.

Resource Reading From Previous Posts:

Do You Feel Your Gratitude

How Mindfulness Helps You Enjoy The Journey

You can accomplish so much more with effective routines. What are yours? If you liked this post, please share it.