Can I Change My Mindset?

Your mindset is a belief that can be changed

In the last post if you saw a need for a mindset change you may be asking yourself, can I change my mindset? Is it worth the effort? And the answer is a resounding YES. You can change your mindset if you believe you can.

Our beliefs have a profound impact on our behavior.  While our behaviors determine the quality of our lives, our beliefs largely determine our behaviors. Beliefs are really the core to everything you do and become.

“Anytime you use the words, I can’t, I have to, or I’m not good at, you’ve discovered a potential limiting belief.”

— JOSH KAUFMAN

It is along the same line as the half-empty/half-full concept. In both theories, it points out the power of having a positive mindset. There are positives in everything. Sometimes you must look harder to find them over the more apparent negatives.

For example, you are a hard worker and never give up, however, you never seem to get ahead. If you believe that you can only hold an entry-level job, you will never attempt anything else. In this instance, your life is dependent on changing whatever limiting beliefs you may have into new positive beliefs.

We all make choices in life; some of us choose to see the negative in everything, while other people undergoing the same situation see nothing but the positives. How can that be? Two people experiencing the same thing but emotionally feeling what they experience at opposite ends of the spectrum. It is almost as if each is wearing a set of glasses that categorize the experience differently.

Begin with how you feel

Before we get into the “how” of changing your mindset, let’s first look at why it is beneficial to see the positives in everything. The mind is a powerful thing in that it controls all parts of your body. Researchers have found in multiple studies that having a positive outlook produces some beneficial health benefits. For one, they found it increases the immune system. It is a proven fact that positive people are generally healthier both mentally and physically.

And positive people have a lower stress level because they can effectively deal with stress better. As a result, they have less cortisol careening through their body, a known hormone responsible for weight gain, so they control their weight better.

Besides having an improved immune system and better weight control, having a positive mindset also helps you:

· lower the risk of a cardiovascular event

· lower rates of depression

· and surprisingly live a longer life

Shift your mindset to one of positivity

While there are several things one can do to improve their mindset, here are some that provide the most benefits:

Begin your day with a positive affirmation –how you start the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. Many people like to write down their affirmation in a notebook or journal. Writing it down is more effective than just verbalizing it to yourself.

See the good in a situation -We all face conditions during our day that can be viewed as either good or bad. For example, if stuck in traffic, view it as an opportunity to listen to your favorite podcast or to your favorite music instead of a waste of time going nowhere.

Change negative self-talk into positive -Instead of saying “I’m so bad at doing this” say “I’ll be better at doing this after I have more practice.” At the least, you should tell yourself “I’m not very good at this -yet.”

Focus on today -The past is yesterday, there is nothing you can do about it; the future is tomorrow and not here yet, so there is little to be done about it; but today is now and you can either choose to experience it positively or negatively; the choice is yours!

Surround yourself with positive people -Positive people have a positive outlook on life, quote positive affirmations, and generally say positive things. Over time, these positive thoughts rub off on you, sink into your brain and you become a more positive person because of them. However, the opposite is true if you surround yourself with negative people. Again, it is your choice; choose wisely!

You Can Change Any Belief

If you have limiting beliefs, this process is designed to help you change them to beliefs that better serve you.

Write down your answers to these questions:

1.  Which belief do you want to change? You need to be able to see it to work with it effectively. So, write it down. For example, one limiting belief you might have is: I will never have a lot of money.

2.  What has the belief cost you? Make a list of all the ways this belief has negatively impacted your life. Really think about it, because it helps to have as much negative ammunition to get rid of that old belief as you can get. Spend some time; it might even take a couple of days to get a complete list.

3.  What advantages have the belief provided you? Maybe believing that you could never be wealthy has allowed you to avoid taking risks. Or perhaps it has allowed you to work in a profession that's easy for you. It might be hard to figure out what the advantages are, but they are there.

4.  What new belief would you like to have as a replacement? For example, for the belief listed above, a new replacement might be: I can make any amount of money I set my mind to. Be thoughtful and develop a new belief that will serve you well in the future.

5.  How is the new belief better than the old belief? Come up with an emotionally charged list of ways in which the new belief will impact your life for the better. Consider how you would feel. What could you become? How would your lifestyle change? Would it help other people around you?

6.  How can you start demonstrating the new belief today? Following our wealth theme, it might not be the right time to plan the interior of your private jet just yet. What could you do right now? Plan how you intend to make more money. Begin looking for a better-paying job? Look for ways to invest the money you already have? Even a small change can help the process.

It may not be easy at first but taking the time to complete the steps above will simplify it. Each day try to behave as if you hold the new belief. What would you wear? How would you speak? How would you view the world? How would you make decisions? How would you react to good news? Bad news?

Beliefs can be difficult to change, as they're frequently developed at a young age, so you might have lived in accordance with your limiting beliefs for a long time. However, with diligence and attention, they can be altered. Changing your beliefs will change your life.

My final thought

In this article, we covered some health benefits of having a positive mindset and some ways you can use it to become a more positive person. We also looked at beliefs and methods to alter their impact on your behaviors and mindsets. By working on these either singly or in tandem you are assured of positive changes in your mindset and your life.

Here is the link to What Is A Limiting Belief by Josh Kaufman.

And a previous post of mine Is Your Mindset Naturally Active or Passive.

I hope you enjoyed this post. Please share it with people you love.

When Should You Change Your Mindset?

A change of mindset can change your life

Have you heard? Everyone is talking about changing your mindset to manifest what you desire. So, can a change of mindset change your life? After all, you’ve been thinking the same way for as long as you can remember.

Maybe you’re going through a rough patch and your attitude has gotten out of whack.

When you begin having more negative days than good ones, it’s time to change your mindset. While these are two good reasons you may want to change your mindset, there are plenty more.

Your mindset is what produces the thoughts you have. That is the attitude that shapes your thinking which controls your actions and how you feel about things.

If you have a negative attitude, then your thoughts start blaming and thinking the worst. When you have optimistic or healthy thoughts, you create a better environment for yourself and those around you.

Gram’s Wisdom 29: Think better act better

My Gram told me if you think good thoughts your actions will reflect them. She was also strongly in favor of changing things that are no longer beneficial to you. I believe she would have appreciated the following list.

Six signs it’s time to change your mindset

1.  You’re always focused on failure instead of success. You feel anger and disappointment over each failure without ever celebrating any of your successes. You regularly see yourself as a failure, unintentionally sending negative messages to your mind that you will always fail at everything you try to achieve.

Instead: Keep a daily success diary recognizing each success, no matter its size.

2.  You have a victim mentality. You’ve been the victim of a bad situation, sadly you’ve been let down and hurt by those you loved, or you were devastated by some incident. You’re still carrying the burden of the past. Stop that. NOW.

Instead: Forgive give yourself, forgive those events, and let go of the past.

3.  You’re mired in routine. Not all routine is bad. A good routine can get you more quickly through the necessary daily tasks. Food preparation, housework, and homework with the children. While a bad routine leaves no room for fun and spontaneity. You eat the same food, watch the same television shows, meet the same people in the same tired place. If your neighbor knows what time the pizza delivery person arrives each Wednesday, you need a change.

Instead: Break out. Get a new hobby. Meet people with different interests.

4.  You hate going to work. You constantly grumble about the job you have or feel like it’s an onerous task. Everyone else has a better position than yours or works in nicer conditions. You feel ill-used by your boss, your co-workers, life.

Instead: see your job as a way of delivering value to customers of the business you work for and as having an impact on you and others around you. Being able to work allows you to provide for your family and contribute to society.

5.  You obsess over things you can’t control. You’re critical about what you can’t control like the weather, government, traffic, and other people. Your mind is filled with everything you consider wrong about those things and you never see any of what is right about them.

Instead: identify those things that can be controlled, first of which is yourself. Pinpoint how you can change and control your actions and thoughts to make the experience more constructive. Stop griping and start taking positive actions that will bring you a greater sense of achievement and abundance.

6.  You lack gratitude for what you have. Your focus is on what everyone else has, what is wrong with things, or the world, or the faults in yourself and others. Your negativity prevents you from seeing and enjoying the good surrounding you.

Instead: accept that no life is perfect, but there are people whose life is worse than yours. Concentrate on finding positive things you can be grateful for every day. Begin small by being thankful for your health, or the air you breathe. Remember, the more you are grateful for, the more you have, to be grateful for.

My final thought

When you understand that the reason for rarely feeling happiness and contentment is due to a negative mindset, you will know when it’s time to change your mindset. This shift in your mindset will help you feel better about yourself and attract more abundance into your life.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

If you want to learn more, I have placed two links below.

Change Your Mindset and Change Your Life by Kath at The Life Spotters.

Mindset and How it Can Influence Your Self-Discipline from a past post.

10 Simple Tips to Create a Transformational Abundance Mindset

Developing an abundant mindset

Mindset is an extremely powerful tool. It is the motivating force behind the actions and behaviors which will set you up for success or keep you anxious and insecure about the future.

Depending on which mindset you assume, your perceptions will be different. The path of abundance has you looking at the world through the eyes of optimism and gratitude. You will be able to reach your potential for a life filled with happiness, contentment, and well-being.

However, with a scarcity mindset all you see are difficulties, barriers, and no means of change. Your life becomes reduced and you see yourself as having limited choices.

Unfortunately, society is deeply entrenched in scarcity. People live their lives in fear, blaming their situations, completely certain that their condition is permanent.

The good news is this doesn’t have to be your story. It’s your choice. You must decide that you aren’t going to settle for a life of scarcity anymore, but rather move forward in abundance.

You can begin taking actions today to develop an abundance mindset and it’s easier than you might think. Here are 10 simple things you can integrate into daily life that will have you on the life-changing path of abundance in no time. So, let’s go!

1.  Your thoughts become your life –The mind is constantly buzzing with thoughts that dictate your perspective on the world. These thoughts truly do change your life and it’s important to be aware of them when making the shift from scarcity to abundance.

“You are transformed into a new person by changing the way you think.” Kenneth Acha, MD

Pay attention to the things going on inside your head. What thoughts monopolize your time? Are they positive or negative?

Take one day and track as many thoughts as you possibly can. Write down anything that comes to mind. What suggestions are you telling yourself through those thoughts?

I’m not good enough, smart enough, young enough, old enough. I can’t. What if I fail? What if I’m wrong? Who am I to do something big in the world?

Your thoughts have been holding you back hugely and if you want a more Abundant life, that negativity is one of the first things that must go. Once you become fully aware of what is going on, you regain control, and those thoughts lose their influence over you.

For more information read this article by Kenneth Acha MD. Your Thoughts Run Your Life

2.  Remove toxic people –One of THE best things you can do for yourself and your future success is removing toxic people from your life. Identify those relationships that are weighing you down and choose to stop sacrificing your own needs and happiness for those who don’t value you.

Put yourself first. Take a long, hard look at whom you’ve allowed into your sphere. Do they build you up or drag you down?

Toxic people will keep you mired in a cycle of drama and negativity because it suits them and their selfish agenda. They don’t want you to do any better than themselves and won’t allow you to thrive and blossom into the person you are meant to be.

Distance yourself from those who make you feel ‘less than’ and seek out those that are more Abundance minded. Find a community of like-minded people who will celebrate your wins and encourage you to be the best possible edition of yourself.

3.  Practice gratefulness –One of the most powerful things you can do to attract abundance is by practicing gratitude daily. Be focused. Decide that you are going to look for and seek out the good every day.

Notice even the smallest blessings as you go through your daily routine. Instead of dreading the day when you wake up, immediately think of a few reasons why you are excited and grateful to bounce out of bed.

Smile more. Complain less. Spend quality time with people who help you see the blessings in life.

Begin a journal. Before bedtime, reflect on the good things that transpired that day and write them down. Life is unpredictable and it won’t always be filled with happy moments.

Nevertheless, when you seek to see the good and be grateful for what you have, it makes it much easier to get through those tough times.

“Gratitude builds a bridge to abundance.”

— ROY BENNETT

4.  Don’t compare yourself to others –Society pushes perfection and plays off of our lack of confidence. It’s no wonder our comparison game is strong. The challenge is, when you compare yourself with another person, much of the time you’re comparing their strengths against your weaknesses.

You’re looking at their highlights and comparing them with your mess behind the scenes. This is a recipe for self-destruction and the quickest path to feeling miserable, bitter, and undeserving. Stop the madness and take steps to eliminate comparison from your life.

Do a social media detox or spend less time online. Accept your quirks and shortcomings –they make you, YOU. Keep in mind that there are 7 billion people on this planet –not one of them is perfect (no matter what Instagram says).

Turn the tables and let others inspire you with their contributions, their gains, and their achievements. Rather than feeling like you don’t measure up, appreciate what they have to offer while knowing that there is plenty of room for you to excel as well.

5.  Are you living purposefully? -If you desire to cultivate more abundance in your life, the key is to be intentional about how you live. Where do you spend most of your time and energy?

Are you working towards something you are proud of or just counting the days until Friday? Make time for self-reflection and get clear on what you want out of life –what are your principles, your objectives, and your aspirations?

What lights you up inside and makes you want to leap out of bed every morning? Until we know what is essential to us, it’s hard to be purposeful with our time and effort. Be mindful of the people you allow into your group as well as the information you consume through social media, television, etc.

Make time to do things that bring you joy and choose to be kind to yourself and others. Take small steps to start embracing life on your terms.

6.  Be growth-minded –One of the absolute best gifts you can give yourself is that of knowledge. A person who lives in abundance will make every effort to explore new concepts, learn new skills, and expand their vision to see things in a new light. There is always something new to be learned.

Decide that you are going to be a life-long learner and take full advantage of all the resources you have at your fingertips today –podcasts, Ted Talks, online courses, audiobooks, etc. The list is endless and will provide you with a world of new concepts, thoughts, and possibilities that keep the juices in your brain flowing.

Consistent learning allows you to endlessly grow and change into a better version of yourself all while you gain a better perspective about the world around you.

7.  Give to others –There are billions of people on this planet, but we are all connected when it comes to giving and receiving. When you add value to someone else’s life, it will always add to the abundance in yours.

Become good at being an unconditional giver of your time, energy, money, and resources. Don’t expect something in return when you give -just let it be.

There are so many ways to be of value to another person. Go through your house or garage and donate things you don’t use anymore.

Give away bags of clothing or toys that your kids no longer play with. You get to help someone else and declutter your space at the same time –that’s a win-win in my book.

Buy groceries for a family in need or pay a bill or two for someone who is behind. Keep in mind, it doesn’t always have to be about money or material things.

Pray for someone or offer a helping hand when they are struggling. Offer to listen to a co-worker who is going through a hard time.

Be friendly to a stranger and extend them a smile or a few kind words –you never know what someone is going through. It could be the one thing that gets them through the rest of their day. Don’t take that for granted.  Just love people without judging whether they deserve it.

8.  Leave your comfort zone behind –One of the major mistakes you can make is to allow countless opportunities to pass you by because you refuse to be uncomfortable. Stepping beyond your comfort zone is tough. 

It means forcing yourself to do things you’re not accustomed to. It means going into unknown territory. You fear getting burned. You fear disappointment.

It’s so much easier to shrink back and stay unseen than leap into the unfamiliar. But staying hidden isn’t the answer. It won’t help you develop and it’s not stimulating you to reach your full potential.

Up until now, you’ve been blind to all the possibilities which life has to offer. Developing an abundance mindset is about taking off those blinders and waking up to all the things you’ve been missing.

It needn’t be difficult –reach out to someone you admire to ask them questions. Make a phone call about that job you’ve been ogling.

Write that blog post and then hit publish! Once you begin taking small steps outside your comfort zone, a world of prospects will reveal themselves.

9.  Jettison the excuses –If you want to live with more abundance, you must discard the excuses as to why you can’t have a better life. Excuses are powered by fears and insecurities. They keep you rooted in perfectionism and procrastination so that you don’t tiptoe too far outside your comfort zone.

You make up reasons why you can’t before you’ve tried. Fear of failure. Fear of what others will say. Fear of looking foolish. It’s an endless cycle that keeps you stuck in a rut, never allowing you to grow into the person you are meant to be.

To live a more abundant life, you must decide to ditch excuses from your vocabulary and your life. When you notice yourself making an excuse, go to the core cause. What is preventing you from action?

Frequently overwhelm is the big culprit here. Some projects are so large they seem to have no end. That is when it helps to break down bigger objectives into smaller tasks, so they are easier to achieve.

10.  Healthy mind and body habits –It’s impossible to have a healthy mindset if you don’t take care of your body too. We live in a microwave society where unhealthy habits run unchecked. We get so caught up in the daily madness of life that we sometimes tend to put our health on the back burner.

It’s a good idea to look at your daily habits and see which ones might need some adjusting. You don’t have to join a gym and eat lettuce every day. Simply try to start putting yourself first and create a routine that works for you.

Be deliberate about what you are putting into your body. Make time for self-care. Eat more veggies. Get outside in nature, breathe the fresh air, and make sure you’re getting enough sleep.

Decrease your stress by learning to say a firm no, to the things that don’t serve you. Love yourself enough to put your health and wellness at the top of the priority list. Your mind and body will thank you for this.

My final thought

You can, and you should, easily begin developing your abundance mindset today by incorporating some of these tips into your daily routine. No matter how long your scarcity mentality has been a weight you’ve carried, you have the power to start over at any given moment.

By acknowledging that you have a choice, that you don’t have to be mired in scarcity for the rest of your life, you can begin to transform your life and create your reality from this day forward. You deserve it. Give yourself patience and grace and enjoy the journey.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. If you are interested in more information, check out this previous post.

Shift Your Mindset and Abundance Will Come More Easily.

9 Best Mindsets for Success

What are the 9 best mindsets for a successful life? I offer you a summary of the most popular mindsets to help you live a successful life.

Many of the ones listed here go by different names or are parts of subsets. So, when, looking at successful people you will find they possess several of these mindsets.

You won’t find greed, sloth, envy, or anything like that here. I couldn’t imagine other than rare instances finding life success within the framework of such negativity.

I am also adding a link to Five Mindsets That Will Transform Your Life by Marelisa Fabrega. Her number five Entrepreneurial mindset is a must-see for anyone who is or desires to become an entrepreneur.

What is an abundance mindset?

When you have an abundance mindset you notice as you look at the natural world that there is a profusion of things. Leaves on trees, sands on the beach, birds in the sky, air to breathe. There is no scarcity, earth has not withheld its gifts. There is plenty for all.

An abundance mentality focuses on this and is grateful for the richness they have in life, rather than on what may be lacking. The abundance personality opens the mind as well as their eyes seeing possibilities that others miss. By the expansion of their awareness, they can discover more opportunities, more choices, and more means to receive what they need. 

Have you got an active mindset?

The persons with an active mindset choose to be in control of their lives. They are also the people who see, hear, think, “Hey, something should be done” and then they go out and do it.

The individuals who are active thinkers are change-makers. They know what you learn is useless if you don’t apply it. They are constant tinkerers. Always working to improve an idea or a thing. Always believing they can make it better.

Sure, action takers will stumble at times. But they own their mistakes and pick themselves up because they know the only way to go forward is to continue moving. Accomplishment motivates the person with an active mindset. You will seldom find these people behaving in a lazy or unfocused manner.

Find here a link to my last post Is Your Mindset Naturally Active or Passive?

Do you have a courageous mindset?

The courageous mentality will have you leaving your comfort zone in search of new heights. Mistakes can be made, but the experiences are rewards for these risk-takers.

People with a courageous mindset see the minefields and have the same fears everyone else has. The difference is courageous people will face their fears and move beyond them. They see courage as a choice you make where the decisions are such that can have a profound impact on their lives.

Those who are courageous believe it’s cowardly to stay where they are never becoming more than they are out of an unwillingness to embrace opportunities. Courage is doing what is uncomfortable, boring, and frustrating in the face of your insecurity and fear of failure. And if you desire to make changes in life, it’s courage that lets you alter your mindset.

What is a creative mindset?

The creative individual is open, tolerant, and non-judgmental. Ideas need space to enter and room to breathe when they have arrived. A creative mindset taps into imagination with a child’s sense of curiosity.

A creative person is unique, they look and think about things differently. The creative person is resourceful and frequently a problem solver. The flip side of that is they often over-complicate simple things.

Creativity is ingenuity used to make things better. It’s what makes innovation occur. Creative individuals just do it; painters, paint; writers, write; musicians, play. Creatives believe that to be happy and successful, they must live up to their potential.

What benefits do you derive from a grateful mindset?

A present moment appreciation is where grateful thoughts come from. A grateful mindset may need to begin with a scheduled time for you to think about what you are grateful for.

Don’t forget gratitude for the people in your life. The kind neighbor, your best friend, your family members. The more you practice being grateful the more there is to be grateful for. You can verbally express your thankfulness or write it down.

There is no right or wrong way in the expression of gratitude. Being thankful frequently throughout your day expands the practice of gratitude. Noticeably the glass becomes half full. You see life more positively. As a result, you find more peace, happiness, and contentment.

How do you develop a growth mindset?

A growth mindset is a belief that you can learn and improve yourself, that with effort and persistence, you can succeed.

Persons with a growth mindset are less concerned about looking smart, instead, they take the time to study and become smart. Like a sponge, they absorb as much knowledge as possible with a view to developing into experts in their field.

Growth-minded persons struggle with obstacles along the way like anyone else, but they view those difficulties as opportunities for their growth. They view the success of others as motivation.

Growth-minded individuals expand their knowledge to include learning from theirs and other’s mistakes, and they freely appreciate constructive criticism believing it furthers their growth.

And here because no one says it better than Carol Dweck.

Changing our beliefs can have a powerful impact. The growth mindset creates a powerful passion for learning. “Why waste time proving over and over how great you are,” Dweck writes, “when you could be getting better?”

From <https://fs.blog/2015/03/carol-dweck-mindset/>

How can you create a positive mindset?

Positive thinking is the habit of expecting the best from yourself, others, and any given situation.

The positive mentality focuses on the present moment extracting what is good in the now. It doesn’t dwell on the negativity of past hurts or future imagined slights.

Positive thinkers understand that an upbeat attitude, not only boosts your confidence but enhances your mood.

Positivity can help you be healthy of mind and body. When you think better, you feel better. When you feel better, you act better. The actions you take as self-care or exercise make you feel better which helps you think better.

Your positive mindset can also play a positive role in any stress-related illnesses you may have.

A positive mindset is optimistic, this provides you with improved coping skills. The positive thinker makes the effort to shut down negative self-talk by spinning a new inner dialog.

Why is a self-belief mindset important?

Self-belief is an attitude of confidence in your judgment and capabilities. No one is born with self-belief. Individuals start developing a self-belief mindset as they grow up.

Self-belief is established from small challenges that progressively build to larger ones. To achieve this skill, you must develop competency in your ability to learn and your resourcefulness. People without this skill often fall prey to limiting beliefs.

Without self-belief, you will never be able to stand out from the crowd, make your own decisions or assert yourself. Having self-belief allows you to attempt new or difficult things. Self-belief impacts your satisfaction, success, and contentment.

The confidence you gain from self-belief aids your ability to move past mistakes without excessively blaming yourself. People who have a positive self-belief can lead and inspire others to do their best.

“Never be limited by other people’s limited imaginations.”

— Mae Jemison

What is a visionary mindset?

Visionaries value their imagination and will have a big dream. Big enough to be thrilling and scary at the same time.

The visionary mindset pays attention to intuition and embraces change. As a dreamer, you know what you want from your future.

A visionaries’ goals are often the vehicle for their service to others. What was once the big idea to benefit themselves, frequently becomes the seed they grow to help humanity.

Visionaries never give up on their dream. They understand there will be trials, but they push through them making needed adjustments until the dream is fulfilled.

Dreamers are confident, they feel they will achieve success, but understand it is the journey that helps their development and growth as human beings.

The visionary has a positive attitude and radiates positive energy. They are regularly surrounded by like-minded people.

My final thought

Noticeably, all these mindsets have 2-4 subsets in common. Growth, positivity, service to others, and gratitude. If you have any three or more of these mindsets you are already likely succeeding in life.

“Change your mindset, change the game.”

— Dr. Alia Crum

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you see yourself in some of these mindsets. Even more, I hope you are inspired to adopt another of these fulfilling mindsets.

Is Your Mindset Naturally Active or Passive?

Gram’s wisdom 27

Have you considered how your mindset works for you? Maybe not. Maybe you take it for granted. It’s just the way you think about things, and you haven’t bothered to give it a designation of some kind.  

That’s the way my Gram was. So many of the trendy words we use today would have meant nothing to her. Gram was an eyes and heart wide open person. The epitome of an extrovert, her mind and hands were always busy doing what needed to be done. She may not have called it so, but Gram had an active, engaged mindset.

Until the age of ten, I was terrified of angering anyone, ever. Gram took me aside, saying I could always do or not do a thing if I wanted, not that I always should, but that the choice was mine to make. Then she said, when facing difficulties, the choices are usually the same, to act, to accept what can’t be changed at the moment, or passively do nothing and allow events to roll over me.

Gram was an energetic woman, who was actively grateful, engaged, positive, kind, learning, resilient, and abundant. She was steeped in a fix it or forget it culture. She told me that if you live passively, you will wake one day to find your life has passed you by.

When I accepted this advice, some alterations were made to better fit my introverted nature. Mindsets are not static, or one size fits all, and we all need to make some adjustments.

Would you like to know more about Gram’s mindset? Then read this past post.

Abundance Is Not a Singular Pursuit

Mindset meaning

So, if you didn’t know, your mindset is a person’s way of thinking and their opinions. It is what urges you to take a certain action or nudges you to stop acting on something. It’s a story that you tell yourself about your identity and the world around you. The various types can mean different things to everyone, regarding how and why you think as you do. Remember every mindset has its benefits and drawbacks.

Do you know your mindset?

The number of mindsets that exist is determined by how much you generalize the term. Finding your type is key to your understanding the dynamics of how you operate in every single area of your life. The two primary types of mindsets highlighted here are an Active attitude and a Passive stance. They each have benefits and disadvantages.

If you have a passive mentality, you are inclined to believe that bad things always happen to you and that your future is in the hands of an uncaring fate. You believe that luck is a critical factor for success, or that you aren’t “meant to have XYZ.” You may be hesitant about committing to a position or even disparage your own opinions.

“Nothing happens until something moves.”

— Albert Einstein

Some sub-mindsets of a passive mindset include:

·  Avoid committing

·   Bottle emotions

·   Defers to Others

·   Lack confidence

·   Seeks approval

·   Struggle to make life decisions

Characteristics include:

1.   Accepts unjustified criticism

2.   Desire to keep the peace

3.   Fail to act

4.   Go with the flow

5.   Unable to deal with confrontation

6.   Mirrors the characteristics of others

7.   Say yes to not disappoint others

8.   Self corrects or edits speech

9.   Shirk responsibility

10. Stay trapped in a comfort zone

If you have an active style you believe you have ownership and are in control of your reactions to life. You expect to have favorable responses to your actions. You don’t wait for things to happen to you but seek out and explore new opportunities.

Some sub-mindsets of an active mindset include:

·   Confidence

·   Direction

·   Gratitude

·   Intent

·   Ownership

·   Success

Characteristics include:

1.   Ably change and develop skills

2.   Acceptance of responsibility

3.   Commit to accomplishment and growth

4.   Deal with challenges

5.   Feel empowered

6.   Feel gratitude for what you have

7.   Learn from failure

8.   Make opportunities

9.   Think big and know what you want

Your mindset significance

Those in the “passive” category tend to feel powerless over any ability to influence their established nature while those in the “active” category are far more confident about who is calling the shots concerning their actions.

There are a few other significant differences relative to these two attitudes toward the theory of mindset and how much control any given person has over their own lives.

The primary one being how a person views mistakes or obstacles and the attitude that they foster when the inevitable hindrances arise. For example, those with a passive style are apt to become easily downcast by impediments and are far more likely to “throw in the towel” so to speak at the first setback, whereas those with an active attitude are far more positive in their outlook and choose a more inventive tactic to overcome difficulties.

Given what is already understood about the two opposing approaches to mindset, the passive attitude does not leave much room for growth, learning, or personal prosperity, while the active mentality is the healthier, more constructive option that is most likely to maximize an individual’s success and resulting overall happiness in life.

It is also vital when discussing this topic to consider just how our attitude can affect us other than our ability to develop and flourish and be successful.

For one, there is the knowledge that our mindset can have a major influence on our health and physical well-being, in that a person who tends to consistently be disheartened or depressed is far more likely to have that morose mentality suppress their immune system, which in turn means that those with a passive approach are more prone to illnesses and tend to take longer to recover from whatever ailment to which their pessimistic attitude has subjected them. 

People with an active mindset tend to prioritize themselves both mentally and physically. They may exercise regularly and get more restful sleep, so, they become sick less often and most certainly are inclined to be happier and healthier.

For more information read this post by Claudia Hammond.

How Your Mindset Determines Your Health

Understanding the power of choice

It is generally agreed upon among psychology and other professional experts on the subject that any person ultimately does have control over which mentality they choose to foster, meaning that simply because someone has been functioning with the passive mindset for any part or all their lives, this in no way means that they can’t choose to transform to a far more positive, active approach.

Overall, your mindset matters in all areas of your life, including your physical health no matter what phase of life you are in.

That means that there is hopeful news for those who find themselves mired in the pessimistic passive mentality in that their defeatist attitude toward their accomplishments and success need not be permanent and can always be improved upon.

My final thought

There are countless mindsets in my opinion because we are such multifaceted beings. They are not intrinsically good or bad. It is in our behavior that the benefit or drawback of a particular mindset can be seen. A passive person may feel he always defers to others, but he might always be chosen for the team because he works well with others.

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Healthy Aging, Do What Makes You Happy

Gram’s Wisdom 26 Choose the things that make you happy

I never knew a time when my gram wasn’t actively doing something. 

Gram hadn’t been a stay-at-home mom. She had been the breadwinner for her family of six children during the depression and was still employed outside the home all the years of my childhood.

We would go shopping and to the movies. She loved music and always had the radio on in the kitchen. It provided the perfect background to the cooking lessons she would give me.

Gram loved to travel and would get on a plane at the drop of a hat. She took her last trip alone at 96 to visit an uncle.

You can enjoy your life at any age, so don’t let the fact that you are middle-aged or a senior adult, keep you from the activities you want to pursue. Choosing things you love to do helps keep you active and brings a lot of happiness into your life.

Did you have favorite pastimes you can take up again?

What are some activities you used to love doing but haven’t done in a while? Think about what you used to find a lot of joy in, such as crafts, watching certain types of movies, a form of exercise, going to a certain fun place in your area, or spending time with people you haven’t seen in a while. Even if you can’t do the exact activity, it might lead you in the right direction. For example, if you used to knit a lot, but have stopped because of arthritis, it at least tells you that your soul might be missing a creative activity or a type of craft. Think of some other similar activities that won’t hurt your hands as much, but still bring you a similar emotion.

What have you always wanted to do?

Another way to find new activities for your mental and physical health as you age is to consider what you have never done before but always wanted to try. You of course want to consider any limitations you currently have, but I bet there are many activities you can get involved in that you will fall in love with and are brand new to you.

This might be going on a hike with a friend, trying indoor mountain climbing, or learning a new craft or hobby. Maybe you have always wanted to teach someone your favorite hobby or mentor people in your skillset. There is no better time than now!

What about a bucket list?

This probably isn’t the first time you have heard the term “bucket list”, but if you have never had one, nor focused much on the one you already have, there has never been a better time to revisit the idea. A bucket list is simply a list of things you want to accomplish in your life. These can be places you want to visit, friends you want to catch up with, interests you want to pursue, or things you want to accomplish in your life.

Everyone has a different bucket list and a different reason for having one. As you age and into your later years, it is a great idea to work on your bucket list. It helps you to focus on your goals, expand the fulfillment in your life, and enjoy life for what it is.

Begin with your passions

To start working on your bucket list, think about what your passions are. What activities bring you the most joy? What do you turn to when you have a day off to do what you want? What is your favorite form of self-care?

The answers to these types of questions usually lead to your biggest passions in life. Maybe when you have a weekend off, you enjoy going on a road trip because you love to travel. Or you are someone who enjoys having family over whenever you get the chance. Or maybe your favorite activities are creative ones, like drawing, writing, or creating something at home.

Think about your passions, then think of what aligns with them, that you have always wanted to do, but haven’t had the opportunity yet.

Don’t put it off any longer

This is the easiest way to start working on your bucket list. Think of things big and small that have been on your “life bucket list” that you haven’t yet done. Maybe there is a place you want to travel to, an activity like skydiving or scuba diving you always wanted to try, or a local event you seem to miss every time, that you want to make a point to go to.

Your bucket list is personal to you and may include a wide range of things as small as books you want to read, to big things like owning your first house or buying a new car.

How to begin crossing items off

Once you have collected a list of things you want to do, begin figuring out what you can do soon, and what will take more planning to accomplish. This might include some type of research, saving money for a trip, or finding a friend to do a certain activity with you. Pin your list to your wall, put it in your planner, and focus on crossing items off your list.

My final thought

Gram and I were fortunate that in her last years we became best friends. Like any best friends, we shared a similar love of music and attended concerts together. I bought CD’s for us to listen to. We watched our favorite movies together on Friday nights. I cooked the meals she loved that she had prepared for me, many years ago. We read some of the same books so that we could discuss them. I don’t know if these were on her bucket list, but they were certainly on mine.

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Little Kindnesses Create Huge Impacts

Grams Wisdom 22

My Gram believed that there was nothing worse you could do than to be unkind. It’s been years but I still remember how my Gram had told me, “a kindness offered to others returns to the giver.” Gram said the warmth in your heart when you are unexpectedly kind is a special feeling that you can’t get any other way.  

Can you remember how you felt after a tough day when a stranger smiled at you?  Or having helped your neighbor carry in her groceries and how she still thanks you for it? Each of these acts of kindness can make a huge impact on someone’s life.

Gram also said kind actions are like giant ripples in a pond. One small action can completely change the life of someone who then pays it forward and performs a kindness for someone else. And the cycle continues and grows.

Regardless of how big or small, the kindness is, it’s likely to have big consequences for your mental health. According to psychologists and researchers, the smallest acts of kindness create a rebound effect on not only the receiver’s psyche but your own as well.

For example, a smile increases a person’s level of comfort along with making them happier. It makes your mood better as well. That simple smile you give could be the reason someone is lifted out of despair.

We can become kinder by practicing every day. Do a random act of kindness each day for someone and observe the impact it has on you. Soon it becomes who you are, and then maybe, how you will be remembered.

Tiny acts of kindness can make a change in two ways; they are the spark for others to begin invoking their small kindnesses, and they have a contagious effect on others. In other words, when we carry out tiny acts of kindness, other people see them, inspiring more kindness.

Let’s look at another example. Say you paint the front door for your elderly infirm neighbor. The lady across the street notices this and offers to do some shopping for him. Perhaps someone else saw this and calls him the next day just to say hello. When you offer service to others with no thought of recompense, it makes you feel happier.

Small acts can create big outcomes

Kind people think others are worthy of consideration for their own sake as fellow human beings. People who tend to do little things to spread kindness are more likely to act in bigger ways as well.

Here are ten ways small acts can have an impact.

1.  Learn first aid. Learning first aid principles can help you be prepared to act if someone needs help in an emergency.

2.  Be a part of a community cleanup effort. Help clean up a park, neighborhood, or local waterway.

3.  Donate toys to the local women’s shelter.

4.  Donate flowers to someone in need in places like hospices, or care homes.

5.  Prepare a hot meal for a neighbor either down on their luck, or unwell. 

6.  Leave snacks in the break room at work.

7.  Volunteer at your local Brownies/Scouts or boys’/girls’ clubs.

8.  Donate books to your local library or children in need.

9.  Remove single-use plastic from your life. Recycle plastics and other recyclables.

10. Volunteer to read to children at your local library.

Whatever you choose to do, every tiny act of kindness can have an immense impact on others in ways you may never imagine. Each tiny act is observed and passed along to another making it expand into a big act.

My final thought

My Gram was one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. She often told me if you can’t say something kind don’t say anything at all. And she made it seem effortless. It was never too much trouble to cook for a friend, provide a shoulder to cry on, or keep a great-grandchild overnight so a young working mom could catch an extra shift at her part-time job. Gram thought we all should aspire to be remembered as kind.

If this post resonated with you, please be kind and share it with your family and friends.

It’s A Less Kind World We Live In

It appears life has taken us to a place where we no longer value kindness as a trait. Kindness has been replaced with self-absorption and wanting to stay anonymous. The question is why has the world become less kind?

Is it that we no longer care about others? I don’t think so. Do we believe kindness makes us seem weak? Is the lack of kindness from some global change?

The truth is, kindness has become less and less important in our daily lives for several reasons.

· We’re in a rush. Life has become so fast-paced, filled with appointments and places to be that we feel we no longer have the time to simply sit and listen to someone.

· Technology dependence has taken place of the human face-to-face, voice-to-voice interactions of the past. No longer do we pick up the phone or meet face-to-face to talk to others. Now we spend our time texting, posting, getting involved in others drama or simply playing mindless games on our cell phones, tablets, computers, and even our watches.

Technology has allowed us to be thoughtless by being late all the time. After all, we can simply text our friend we’re running late, and they’ll know. It’s taken away the common courtesies of saying thank you, hello, nice to meet you, please, and “how can I help you”.

We no longer smile at others when we see them. We no longer sympathize or help someone who is having a rough day. Instead, we place an emoji on our social media post or in a text and think we have done enough.

There’s an app for everything. Want to have a relationship? Use this app. Want to order your dinner? Use this app. Are these apps taking away the connectedness we once had that produced kindness? The self-same connectedness people claim to want in their lives. Maybe.

· Self-absorption and self-centeredness are another reason kindness has taken a backseat. Many people are focused on their own lives, on getting ahead and doing whatever is necessary to beat the other guy.

People are more interested in taking care of their wants before they reach out and extend some type of kindness to others. We’ve become a society of “me first” that wasn’t seen as often just a few years ago.

· The way we live causes us to withdraw from others. Living in crowded cities among strangers can make you quickly hide your natural inclination to be generous and kind to others. With crime, kidnappings, murders, and other fears running wild in many cities, people have found it safer to keep to themselves. The rise in road rage keeps people from stopping to help someone with car trouble.

· How we were raised was different 30 years ago. We didn’t need catchphrases to tell us to help one another. We believed in helping each other. Neighbors looked out for each other. People weren’t afraid to help the poor and needy. People taught their children to respect others and to be trustworthy and honest.

Today people are more afraid to show their kindness. There is fear that we will be attacked for what we say or do. We don’t want to appear vulnerable and to be hurt, so we avert our eyes and try not to see those who need our kindness.

Kindness has taken a backseat to greed, technology, poor manners, and the world we live in. Instead of showing kindness, we’re afraid to be seen as the nice guy because we might be taken advantage of.

Ways to add kindness into your day

But you’re convinced that being kind is how you want to live your life. And you’re making considerable headway in cultivating your kindness mindset, but you’re still looking for some suggestions?

Try these five tactics to include kindness in your life.

1.  Practice empathy.

You probably know that saying about walking a mile in the other person’s shoes, right? It’s true, empathy and kindness are two sides of the same coin.

Remember, you can have no idea what’s happening in the other guy’s life. They could be on a high or have just received devastating news. They may be dealing with all kinds of problems. And you being short-tempered or cutting in line in front of them might be the last straw. Why choose to hurt when you can be kind?

2.  Listen to others.

Sometimes just listening is the greatest gift you can give a person. If a friend or family member is having a rough time, they need to talk. And you need to listen. You might be able to help, or you might not. To begin with, they need to be heard.

3.  Show your gratitude.

So often we’re focused on achieving the next goal, always trying to stay ahead. And that can make you inaccessible, or brusque in your dealings with others. It can keep you focused on yourself instead of others.

Try sitting back and looking around. Feel grateful for all that you have, and all you’ve achieved — being grateful sets you up for being in the kindness mindset. Instead of focusing on getting more, you’ll want to share the love!

4.  Choose kindness intentionally.

Begin every day by setting the intention to be kind. Consciously choosing kindness before you’ve even gotten out of bed puts you in the kindness zone and makes being kind easier.

You know that habits take several weeks to ‘stick,’ right? Begin a kindness habit now, and it will soon become just part of who you are and how you behave. Why it’s hardly any effort at all!

5.  Be a role model.

In a world where unpleasantness is common, and trolling people online is an everyday event, you can stand out by being a role model for kindness.

The world needs your kindness more than ever. Like positivity, kindness can be contagious. If you are consciously kind, you’ll likely set up a virtuous kindness circle–your acts and attitudes of kindness will inspire people around you to treat others kindlier. You might even shame those trolls or bullies into better behavior.

My final thought

Kindness doesn’t need to be a grand gesture. It functions well in the little things we do. A smile to a stranger, holding a door for a person whose hands are full, or a word of encouragement to someone who is hurting. Kindness warms the hearts of both the giver and the recipient.

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