Life

Create A Gratitude Mindset Habit

Seek gratitude-filled moments

I believe a gratitude mindset is the most important one and all good things flow from it. For many years, I have made looking for gratitude within any situation one of my primary habits. But it wasn’t always this way. Like most people, I believed what happens is either good or bad, and you felt grateful for what is good. Consequently, I was in pursuit of the good, the nice, and the safe to feel grateful for.

Quite by accident, my young daughter was bitten on her face by a dog. The surgeon told me how grateful I should feel, the bite had missed her eyes and she could still see. He also said her major facial nerves were intact, and she would be able to smile once she had healed.

I was certainly grateful to that doctor; I appreciated the years he had trained to be a surgeon, how gently he treated my two-year-old, and how he allayed my fears. But, even more, I was thankful for the reminder to be aware that there are things we can be grateful for in the worst circumstances.  

 

How your gratitude was first introduced as a habit

Most of us have been taught something about gratitude early in life. From the time we become social beings, at age three or four, we're conditioned to say, "please and thank you" along with other words like "sorry" and "excuse me" by our elders, parents, and teachers at home and in school. Thank you — just two simple words that have been so recognizable since childhood, but they are the first expression of gratitude we are taught, and its meaning goes beyond simple politeness.

 

Gratitude holds real power

Gratitude is an exceptional habit to develop because of the limitless positive benefits associated with it. Living a positive life, which is so important, is associated with the attitude of gratitude. There are many scientific studies conducted on gratitude and there's no doubt how enormously powerful its benefits are.

However, it takes understanding and learning what the concept means to practice it effectively.

Gratitude is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Eventually, regularly practicing gratitude will help you turn it into a habit. Fortunately, gratitude is not an innate trait that you either have or you don't. That's a good thing because it means you can improve it the more you practice it.

 

Cultivate a singular gratitude habit

There are many ways to create a habit of gratitude. However, there is one very simple and powerful thing you can use to cultivate gratitude and turn it into a habit. It’s so simple that many people overlook it, yet it will do more to create and preserve an attitude of gratitude than anything else.

Acknowledge one thing that you are grateful for. And do it daily. Consistency is the key.

Acknowledge the good people and the good things in your life. Whether you are expressing yourself verbally to a loved one and telling them how grateful you are for their presence in your life, or you're quietly writing your gratitude list down in your private journal, the key to gratitude is simply expressing it. Express your gratitude by any means and do it daily.

Creating a good habit, a good mindset, as we all know, isn’t easy, but it’s worthwhile. Cultivating gratitude as a habit may be especially challenging when 'expressing gratitude,' 'saying thank you,' and simple 'gestures of appreciation' are unfamiliar to you.

 

Being unaware of the goodness around you

Many people today find it so easy to complain but impossible to appreciate anything and to express appreciation. It can be toxic, not only to other people you are directing your complaints to but, more importantly, to yourself. Negative thinking is toxic to your wellbeing as it leaves you blind and unable to see the good in most situations.

People who consistently complain are naturally drawn to negativity, but they are also resistant to accepting good things. It's like a curse that leaves you positivity resistant. You think, “why bother, I never get any breaks.” When people complain, they are essentially thinking negatively. It can be harmful as we know how negative thoughts lead to more stress, worrying, and anxiety.

A complaining habit mixes well with many negative emotions, such as feeling sad, anxious, and depressed. Complaints may appear natural and harmless, a common human reaction. However, most people realize that by doing so, they are magnifying negativity and readily creating more problems in their lives.

Here are powerful ways to develop a habit of gratitude.

 

Teach your brain to be grateful

Your subconscious mind directs 95% of your actions and thoughts. To create a habit, you need to plant it on a subconscious level. This is where the reticular activating system comes into play.

The reticular activating system (RAS) is the door through which nearly all information enters the brain. The RAS filters the incoming information affecting what you pay attention to.

You can teach your brain to consciously be more grateful by actively looking for things that make you feel gratitude. It will seem difficult at first if it's not natural for your brain to react that way.

Your conscious mind is doing most of the heavy lifting at this point; you are learning a new skill. But with consistent practice, it should only take a few weeks for your brain to recalibrate itself and adapt to your new perspective, which is gratitude.

 

Promoting positivity using helpful tools

A gratitude journal can balance out your natural bias towards negativity by shifting to a positive perspective. That's why it is a powerful tool you can use to establish a new gratitude habit. Create gratitude lists daily. Reading positive books, gratitude quotes, and affirmations will also help increase your gratitude awareness.

 

Connect with Other People

Gratitude is a social emotion. Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on Gratitude, says that "people are more likely to feel grateful when they put their focus on others, rather than getting caught up in their own inner narratives about how things should have gone. Empathy for others can trigger a sense of gratitude."



My final thought

I often think of the words by Anaïs Nin; “We see things not as they are, but as we are.” If we live negatively, that is what we’ll see, but if we see things in a positive light, we’ll have much to be grateful for.

 

For more information, read these posts.

Creating Habits Of Gratitude

Cultivating Your Gratitude Then Practice Daily

 

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Motivate Your Mood With Music And Interactions

Motivation to feel good every day

Feeling a good mood every day isn't some daydream that's impossible to achieve. You get to dictate how your day will progress from the minute you wake up until you go to sleep.

Although you can't control everything that happens, you can control how you react to it. For example, if you oversleep and miss your alarm clock, are you going to allow that to spoil the mood of your day?

After the initial panic, you'll likely get yourself together and take care of your responsibilities. The difference between letting a mistake ruin your whole day and moving on is your mentality.

Each day, you can choose your reactions. The problems occur when you react negatively to a situation and allow it to ruin your entire day.

The best way to control your emotions and your moods are to effectively manage your negative triggers.

If being late makes you anxious, do what you can to avoid that. Handle everything you need to do the night before, so you feel relaxed in the morning.

 

Plan for the day you want

By planning, you're acting towards avoiding that negative stimulus. In turn, you'll find yourself having better days.

Waking a bit early so you feel calm and unrushed is a good start to a better day.

The next way to begin having better days is to get your day off on the right foot. We're all programmed to wake up and check the news. However, doing so is damaging to your mental health.

If you must, a quick check of the weather and the traffic report should be sufficient.

 

Begin your day feeling inspired

When you wake up in the morning, try not to check your phone as soon as you open your eyes. Instead, swap Instagram for some deep stretches. This will give you the energy you need to get up and get going.

Next, listen to some inspiring music or an educational podcast. This will help you get in the right frame of mind for your day.

 

Set your intentions

Another way to have amazing days is to set an intention. Ask yourself, what is my goal for today? Is it to arrive at work on time? Reconnect with an old friend? Or maybe make it to the gym for that spin class?

Whatever your unique intention is, you'll be more inclined to live up to that goal if you set a reminder.

Setting an intention is designed to keep you on track. This gives you the motivation and confidence you need to make it through your day.

 

Focus on solutions

During your day, you're going to run into challenges that stress you out. Instead of getting overwhelmed, adapt your mind to find a solution. This will help you take control of your destiny as opposed to focusing on the negative.

If you want to have good days, every day, you must be your cheerleader. Encourage yourself to keep going despite your challenges. By taking control of your attitude and focusing on the positive, you're bound to have good days throughout the year.

 

The healing effects of music on your mood

Music touches the heart and soul of audiences everywhere. So much so, music has been known to evoke healing effects on its listeners.

Some rehabilitation programs incorporate music into their self-development programs. Hospitals, nurseries, and even some institutions play music to elevate or calm the mood of those in it.

Most people know that music is a mood booster. However, do you completely understand how or why?

If you're an avid music listener and want to know how music impacts your mood, consider these interesting facts that may open your eyes to this little-known happiness tool.

 

Music can impact your mood

Have you ever had a bad day and decided to blast your favorite songs? Maybe you have a playlist dedicated to getting you through difficult times.

Whatever your genre, music has a way of redirecting your thoughts to something outside of yourself. Rather than focusing on that incident at work, you're now listening to the lyrics of the song; possibly trying to decode them and get into the artist's mind.

Music not only serves as a healthy distraction, but it also validates your feelings. If you're going through a breakup, you feel less alone knowing someone else has been through the same situation.

When lyrics touch you so personally, you're able to build a connection that doesn't require a lot of effort on your end.

Music can also improve your self-awareness. There are so many songs that are dedicated to making people feel good about themselves in the face of adversity. Listening to those tunes will automatically give you the confidence boost you need.

 

How does music affect your mood?

Music makes you feel good. When you hear a fun melody that resonates with your taste, you're automatically happier. You get excited when you hear certain songs.

This excitement spills over into your actions. That's why some are moved to dance when they hear their favorite songs. From the melody to the beat, all these factors contribute to improving your mood.

However, as mentioned, there are those songs that you just feel especially connecter to.

This connection helps you to feel less alone in a world full of people who may not understand you. This is especially true for the lyrics. Some songs are written with so much passion, you can't help but play them repeatedly.

 

Is music therapy real?

Yes! Music therapy has been used for years to help people overcome trauma and heal. As mentioned, some institutions use music to lift the mood of their patients when they're going through a difficult challenge.

If you want to include music in your personal development, try these helpful tips.

Begin your morning with an uplifting or motivational song. This will give you the confidence you need to begin your day.

Create different playlists that are designed to help you get through different situations. Perhaps a motivational playlist to help you get through your workout. Or maybe a playlist labeled dinner for two suitable for a romantic evening.

Outlining your playlists will help you understand which music fits your mood. Implementing this into your daily routine will help you feel better immediately.

If you're going through something, try putting on your favorite jams! You'll quickly notice a shift in your mood that'll make you want to conquer the day! Take advantage of this beautiful gift we have and keep music a part of your life.

 

5 Reasons a healthy social life expands your well being

If your social life is lacking, it may be time to breathe life into it. Sure, it's easy to think that you might be better off without having to deal with people or to exist in your bubble, but there is scientific evidence that indicates that regular, social interaction can positively affect your health.

A healthy social life does not happen by chance. It requires a bit of cultivating on your part. It demands that you maintain high-quality, social interactions. Not sure what classifies as being high-quality? Think of high-quality interactions as being those events you commonly witness between close friends and relatives.

Here are five reasons you should invest in a healthy social life:

 

1 | Improves your physical health

Who knew that spending a little time with others could have a positive effect on your physical health? It’s true! Social interaction can help to boost your immune system and protect you from chronic events such as pain and illnesses.

 

2 | Mental wellbeing

Never undervalue the importance of living in the shadow of good mental health. Your mental health is critical to your overall ability to navigate everyday life situations. According to one study, having healthy relationships go a long way to boost your mood. What’s better than having a supportive network of friends who can offer the needed support to see you through difficult times.

 

3 | Protects you from disability

A healthy social life protects you from disability. This aspect is particularly true for the aging population who may no longer have children or extended family nearby.

Studies show that the elderly who have frequent interaction with caring children and grandchildren have a positive involvement and improved health. Some benefit more from having relationships that exist outside of the family.

 

4 | Less stress

There’s nothing like having a good friend or group of friends to raise your spirits and combat stressful situations with you at your side. The social facet of having people in your life can also help to reduce your stress levels due to the release of various chemicals in the brain and throughout the body that naturally produces feelings of calm.

 

5 | Better sleep experiences

Social life can help you sleep a bit better through the night. According to a study from the University of Chicago, people who do not regularly engage with others are more likely to experience feelings of social isolation, agitation, and distractions.

 

How to increase your social connections 4 ways:

If you are an introvert, happy on your own, or currently a loner and not sure where to start with boosting your social group, there are a few basic ways to get out and begin meeting new people.



Volunteer your skills, time, or talents

Volunteering your time is a great way to meet new people. Volunteering can assist in helping you to find a real purpose, enhance your self-confidence, combat depression, and expose you to like-minded people or better yet, those who you might not have otherwise ever encountered in your everyday world.

 

Become the host with the most

Become the world’s most outstanding host and open your home or even invite your family and friends out to dinner. You can improve your social life by taking the lead in relationships and by coordinating events that bring you in contact with others. You could host quiz parties, movie nights, afternoon croquet on the lawn, or simply invite a friend over for tea.

 

Be active in your church

If you are a churchgoer, check out the various activities. From choir groups to community work to social bible groups, there are multiple ways to meet new people and boost your social contacts.

 

Online Communities

If you are not one to engage in the crowds, consider joining active online communities that center around your interests. You will find that there are thousands if not millions of people who have common interests that enjoy communicating and sharing their experiences with others and look forward to hearing from you.

 

My final thought

Creating a good mood can be as simple as trying any one or several of the ideas in this post. Combine it with negativity avoidance whenever and wherever you encounter it, and you can’t help but boost your mood significantly.

 

For more information, check out these posts.

Want To Feel Happier Today Try Talking To A Stranger

How Does Music Affect Your Mood

 

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10 Benefits Of Self Care On Your Mood

Gram’s Wisdom 35

When people think of their mood, they often think of just being in a good mood or a bad mood. But the truth is, there is a large gap between these two extremes. Things like mental stress, physical stress, and so many other factors go into how you feel.

Gram told me your mood is only good or bad depending on how you handle it. She said your emotions, from anxious, irritated, and fearful, at one end of the spectrum, to relaxed, and calm at the other end, affects your moods willy-nilly if you allow them.

Do you feel like you don’t have a balanced mood, or you are constantly moving from one extreme to the other? It might be time to look at your habits, including your morning and evening routines, and how you spend your time. Your behavior has a large impact on your emotions and, ultimately, your moods and how you feel.

Gram was a big proponent of daily routines that you can count on to keep you steady. As Gram once told me, we get plenty of outside influences and people to upset our day.

 

What causes these shifts in your mood?

One of the most surprising things about mood fluctuations is how many things in your day-to-day life, many of which you don’t have control of, can change your mood. The more you understand about mood changes, the more you can decide what lifestyle changes will help the best with your mood-boosting habits.

Some examples of shifts in your mood include:

Stress — Probably one of the most common causes is stress. This can be severe stress where you expect your mood to change, but even very mild forms of emotional stress that you didn’t realize have such a big impact on how you feel and behave overall.

 

Mental health — Many mental health disorders can lead to changes in your mood, including anxiety and depression. If you struggle with your mental health, you might already be aware of how drastically your mood can shift.

 

Sleep habits — Yes, how much and how well you sleep is going to affect your mood! We aren’t just talking about having a bad night’s sleep and not feeling your best the next morning. This also includes poor sleep hygiene habits that affect your mood the next day.

 

Diet — What you will see throughout this content is that what you eat can greatly impact how you feel. What you choose to eat much of the time makes a huge difference in your mood as does the amount of water you drink. So, don’t’ forget to hydrate liberally.

 

Medical causes — Not only can hormone fluctuations affect your mood, but other medical causes like thyroid disorders, stroke, vitamin deficiency, and ADHD might all be the cause of your mood changes.

 

10 Self-care strategies to boost your mood

 

1. Morning routine

Let’s talk a bit about morning routines. This is one of those trending topics that people think is just popular right now and will be gone before we know it, but that isn’t true at all.

You already have a morning routine, whether you knowingly realize it or not. You probably have certain tasks you need to get done shortly after waking up, such as brushing your teeth, taking a shower, walking your dogs, making your kids breakfast, or stumbling out of bed and rushing out the door to get to work.

You needn’t reinvent the wheel with your morning routine, but rather, just add a few actions in your morning that will improve your day and your mood.

One of the best activities you can add to your morning routine is to write in a journal. There are many ways this can help you, but one of my personal favorites is with a brain dump (also called stream of consciousness).

What is a brain dump?

This simply means you write whatever is on your mind and keep writing until you feel like you have gotten through all those nagging thoughts. Your mood fluctuations might be from stress or just feelings of overwhelm. Your thoughts can do that without you even realizing it.

By doing this sort of brain dump in the morning, you get those thoughts out on paper to help release some tension, but also to gain a little more clarity.

 

2. Improve your sleep habits

The next most important thing you can do each day when you want to boost your mood naturally, is to get better sleep. And I’m not just talking about how many hours you sleep, though that is important.

You want to focus on appropriate sleep habits, which is simply the nighttime routine you have before you go to sleep.

Here are some things you can add to your sleep routine that will help you get more restful sleep, and balance your mood at the same time:

Begin getting ready for bed 1-2 hours before you intend to fall asleep.

Try to have a normal (for you) bedtime hour.

Don’t use any electronics or keep the TV on when you are preparing for sleep.

Try to avoid stimulants like caffeine or alcohol shortly before going to sleep.

Set up your bedroom to provide a restful night’s sleep, including a cool and quiet environment.

Get blackout curtains to keep it as dark as possible in your bedroom.

Partake of quiet and calm activities before bed, such as reading or writing in your journal.

With these few changes, you should notice that you tend to fall asleep a little easier, and you don’t wake up nearly as often fatigued and irritable.

 

3. Become more aware of what you eat

I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but what you eat does make a difference to how you feel, both mentally and physically. Some foods, like high amounts of sugar and refined carbohydrates, give you energy and make you feel better in the short-term, but cause an energy crash, after which you might notice your mood worsening.

When it comes to eating well, you want to focus on balance and proper nutrients in moderation. Not being on a restrictive diet, but just trying to get in more complex carbs, whole grains, fruits and vegetables, and lean protein.

 

4. Move your body regularly

In addition to eating correctly, try to get some regular exercise. Again, it isn’t about completing a difficult fitness challenge or pushing yourself to do some extreme form of activity you don’t enjoy.

Rather, find some workouts that get you moving, that motivate and excite you to try, and that you enjoy. These can help you become mentally healthier and improve your mood exponentially, with the added benefit of being good for your physical health as well.

Some exercises you might want to include:

Walking or hiking

Dancing

Taking a local fitness class

Yoga or Pilates

Weightlifting

Family workouts with your children

 

5. Practice gratitude

It’s said, when you appreciate the blessings in your life, it’s hard to focus on what you don’t have. By doing this, your mood will change practically overnight.  

No matter how difficult things might feel in the present moment, there are always things you can be grateful for. It might be the people in your life who are always loving and supportive, a job you enjoy, a roof over your head, your pets or family, or simply your cup of coffee every morning when you have 5 minutes of quiet.

To improve your mood each day, begin writing 5-10 things you are grateful for in your journal. Turn this into a daily routine that you do every morning or evening, and you will notice the changes happening quickly.

 

6. Self-Care should be a priority

Self-care is much more than people realize, and often unappreciated. To put it simply, your self-care routine should be something you do for yourself and only you. At least once a day, you should choose some type of activity that you enjoy, relaxes you, and makes you happy.

While it can be absolutely anything, here are a few ideas if you’re not sure where to begin:

Get a manicure and pedicure

Do a face mask

Watch your favorite show

Read a book

Work on an art project

Take an afternoon nap

Soak in a bubble bath

Meet a friend for coffee

It can be something you do alone or with friends. There are no rules for self-care if it makes you feel better and is something you truly enjoy.

 

7. Declutter and organize your surroundings

Does seeing a pile of shoes left at the door or a dining room table you can’t eat at, exhaust you? Working on your space and getting it organized helps with mood stabilization! Have you ever woken up in a clean and orderly room, and just felt better? Just having a decluttered and clean home can make all the difference to how you feel. You’ll be happier, healthier, and more productive.

Spend just a few minutes a day (set a timer if need be) picking up your home and tidying it as much as you can, even if you have a busy schedule.

 

8. Disconnect once a day

Give yourself at least one time in the day when you are completely disconnected. This means no computer or laptop, no tablet, and no cell phone. It is up to you if you choose to include the television in unplugging, but no phones!

You need some time to relax without social media, phone updates, and text messages. This allows you to bask in the quiet and just enjoy your home and family, without all that extraneous noise.

 

9. Set boundaries for yourself

This might be one of the more surprising ways you can boost your mood naturally. Sometimes, you have so many expectations and so many people needing things from you, that you don’t realize your responsibilities are what is negatively affecting your mood.

It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to turn down an invitation. It isn’t okay to always be the one-person people can count on for whatever they need, whenever they need it. Set some healthy boundaries and let people know when and if you are available to them. If they love you, they will understand your need for boundaries, just as you respect their boundaries.

 

10. Get more sunshine and fresh air

Lastly, try to spend more time outside if you can. Fresh air and vitamin D will both greatly benefit your mood and energy levels.

Too many people don’t get enough vitamin D in their diet and aren’t outside enough during the day to soak it up naturally from the sun’s UV rays. The simplest thing is to figure out how you can spend a little more time outside.

 

My final thought

I love this list of ways to help boost your mood. Number 10 is my particular favorite. Let me know in the comments which of these appeals most to you.

 

For more information, read these posts.

Practice Self Care To Improve Your Mood

Acting The Way You Want To Feel




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Your Mood Impacts Your Behavior

Some people always seem moodier than others. You could say it’s in their nature. This wouldn’t be a problem but for the fact that their mood is bad or negative. No one ever says, “hey, beware of what you say to Henry, He’s in an excellent mood today.” So, it’s obvious, while we all have good and bad moods, it’s only the bad ones that label us as being moody.

Let’s look at the psychology of moods and what can be done to improve your moods.


Do moods affect our psychology?

It's that feeling you get when you realize you just ran out of coffee. Or that discouraging feeling of stress when you discover some disappointing news. No matter the situation at hand, there is a strong, biological force manipulating our behavior.

What's this mysterious force you may ask? It's none other than our mood.

Neuroscientists and researchers have spent a great deal of time analyzing how our moods impact our behavior. While they've made accurate strides, there's still so much to be learned about why our emotions impact our mood and vice versa.

 

Are emotions and moods interchangeable?

While many conclude that emotions and mood are the same, interestingly, they aren't. The theory of emotions states, "emotions are patterns of firing in large groups of neurons that integrate neural representations of situations, cognitive evaluations of those situations, and physiological changes."

Put simply, your emotions are based on preconceived patterns, beliefs, and personal goals associated with thoughts and feelings. For example, if you were passed up on an opportunity at work, likely you'll be disappointed; maybe even angry. Why is that?

You're programmed to believe that if you don't receive the acknowledgment, you're automatically a failure. While extreme, this conditioning of patterns influences how you perceive your day. Because of this letdown, you may categorize your entire day as being, 'bad."

While your emotions may impact how you view your day and overall behavior, your mood controls something completely different.

 

Moods and feelings

One author eloquently stated, "moods are dispositions to have emotions. Salt has the disposition to dissolve in water, and glass bottles have the disposition to break when dropped."

So, how does your mood compare to your overall emotions? According to science, your overall mood "produces" the emotions you express. Let's go back to the job scenario. If you were in a relatively good mood before the news, your emotional reaction to the situation may be balanced. You are naturally disappointed, but you aren't lashing out or engaging in activities you'll regret.

By contrast, if you were in a bad mood before hearing the news, your emotions could send you into a tailspin. Thus, engaging in words or actions that you could later regret.

When considering how your mood impacts your behavior, one must recognize that mood and emotions are interchangeable in a comparative sense. For example, if you're excited about getting a new job, likely your mood is going to reflect that. If you're frustrated about your morning commute, that negative energy could affect the rest of your day.

Although your mood and emotions utilize different neurons and chemical processes, they're still quite similar when it comes to how your behavior is impacted. Regardless of your emotional state, your mood is always going to be impacted by your feelings and vice-versa.

 

Positive coping mechanisms

Because the two are so closely related, it's prudent to learn positive coping systems that can help you control your mood when consuming emotions occur.

While this is no easy task, many people have found that through professional help, medication, or deep breathing exercises, they have been able to control their emotions in a way that doesn't impact their mood.

Some examples of this are practicing mindfulness. This involves allowing emotions to filter throughout the body without judging or controlling them. You're able to maintain your balanced mood, even in the face of extreme stress.

Other coping strategies can be normal activities that have a calming or decompressing component to them, such as cooking, gardening, or playing with your pet.

You needn’t be a victim of negative beliefs or situations. Developing your own set of positive coping systems and receiving the help you need will help you learn how to effectively deal with your emotions and control your overall mood.

 

Along with the emotional benefits of a good mood, there are also health benefits. Let’s take a look at some of them.

 

Health benefits of feeling joyful

Joy is the feeling of enormous contentment, appreciation, and happiness. It takes on a mystical meaning when applied to your everyday life. Many people, no matter their race, class, or nationality, experience joy even in the face of numbing situations.

Many individuals experience joy when they choose to ignore the negativity in their life and concentrate on the positive. That's why the phrase "choose joy” has achieved popularity over the years.

While being joyful influences your attitude, it also plays a key role in keeping you healthy. Believe it or not, your emotions have a lot to do with your relationships, productivity, and even life expectancy. If you're looking to improve your health, start with the mind. Let's consider a few health benefits that come along with choosing to be joyful.

 

Increasing your happiness

Individuals who choose to be in a joyful mood experience an overall increase in their happiness. Developing this optimistic view helps them cope effectively with daily challenges.

While joy is centered around recognizing the bad, yet searching for the good, joy doesn't disregard negativity. Joyous people embrace what has happened to them headfirst.

Instead of drowning in their sorrows, they act. Their joy affords them the clarity to make mindful decisions that could improve their position.

In addition, when negative circumstances arise, they're able to handle their emotions without doing something they'll regret. This keeps them from taking damaging actions that could ruin their lives.

 

Decreases depression

While depression is considered a chemical imbalance, people who choose joy, suffer less depression and anxiety. How so?

As mentioned, they recognize their emotions and develop strategic ways to solve their issues. By staying "busy" in this regard, they're able to ward off depressive or anxious thoughts.

However, this isn't to say that individuals who suffer from depression and anxiety aren't joyful. Instead, it's only meant to showcase the statistical side of choosing joy.

 

Reduces your risk of heart failure

When you subject yourself to a lot of negativity and stress, this has an enormous impact on your heart. Over time, your heart will experience serious complications due to this constant negative stimulus.

Individuals who choose joy have decreased cardiovascular problems and an overall healthy body. By choosing to rid themselves of negativity and instead focus on the positive, they're preserving the health of their heart.

 

Improvements to motivation and proficiency

Happy people are more likely to get things done and have the energy to do so. Have you ever heard the saying, "this activity is exhausting"? People say this when referring to crushingly negative projects that drown their happiness.

When you feel happy, you're more productive, social, and imaginative. You're able to create fresh ideas and have the energy to execute them. Because of this, people with creative jobs are required to take time off for their self-development. This helps them cultivate additional mental clarity when handling their daily tasks.

 

A good mood enriches your relationships

Being in a good mood makes others want to be around you. They aren't bogged down by sad stories or negativity. Therefore, people who choose to be joyful are more likely to have a wide range of contacts to choose from.

In addition, your romantic and interpersonal relationships are healthier when you're joyful. You're able to connect with your partner in a solution-focused manner as opposed to trying to win. This is crucial for keeping your long-term relationships healthy.

Choosing to live a joyful life makes you happier, more productive, and easier to get along with. These perks alone should inspire you to home in on your happiness. By doing so, you'll feel an inner peace like no other.

 

My final thought

Just as it improves so many other things, gratitude can improve your mood. Gratitude for what you have allows you to brush off negative feelings that affect your mood. I think of gratitude as being the ultimate positivity.

 

For more information, please read the following posts.

Create A Better Mood For Yourself

Mind Body Connection How Your Emotions Affect Your Health

 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope you will share it with someone you love.

You Are Worthy

Why do so many people find it hard to believe in their worthiness? After all, we go around spouting things like “you can do it”, only when they fail, they fall apart because they have no feeling or belief in their self-worth. Now, they are unsure of how many others are unworthy, but they are certain that they are unworthy. How do we recognize self-worth, and is it truly important?

Let’s explore this belief called self-worth.

 

The importance of self-worth

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to believe in your essential worth. If you don’t have an awareness of your worth, it can be difficult for you to connect with others at a level that is beneficial to them. Without this essential feeling of self-worth, you may allow yourself to settle for less than what you deserve in life.  

 

Your view of yourself can be hard to see

How you view yourself can be tricky to fix in your mind’s eye. So often you assume others have a clearer window to see who you are. Many people live their lives based on that false belief. Rather than, loving and respecting the person you are, you allow your self-worth to be dictated by who someone else believes you to be.

 

Reaching a high level of self-worth

Attaining a high level of self-worth may not be easy. But it brings with it satisfaction. Perhaps, you didn’t have the perfect parents to cheer you on. Not to worry. Self-worth can be learned from teachers, mentors, or friends. To help the learning process, don’t forget to dump the negative thinking, and negative talk, replace them with positive equivalents. 

 

The importance of self-worth in relationships

Self-worth is particularly important in relationships. A lack of value in yourself, will nearly always have you settling for less than you deserve in a partner because you can’t imagine meeting your “dream” partner and falling in love with them - or more accurately, you can’t believe they’d ever fall in love with you. This can lead you down a path that is not only unhealthy for you mentally, and emotionally, but physically as well.

 

Self-worth leads to better self-care

When you feel unworthy, you don’t see the importance of self-care. The trouble with this is the tailspin it can put you in. You think you don’t deserve to take the time for yourself. You begin to feel unwell. You talk negatively about yourself. Now you feel depressed. 

Instead, strive for a healthy level of self-worth. It will keep you cared for, loved, satisfied, and safe from unavoidable bumps in the road, that might otherwise bring you down. If your self-worth is intact and healthy, you become resilient.

Our sense of self-worth is the single most determinant of the health, abundance, and joy we allow into our lives.
— Dan Millman

 

Innate self-worth, is that even real?

Throughout our lives, we’re subject to good times and bad times, and each of these external events helps to develop our self-esteem. Self-worth, on the other hand, is something that happens internally, without the need for any external confirmation.

 

You are valuable

Your self-worth is inherent — it is the power of your belief that you have value because you are a human being. That you merit what you desire, and that you are inherently “good enough” to have it.

Another way to think of it is like this: failing at something will not affect your self-worth because you know that failure and success are simply two sides of the same coin — both of which you need in your experience to become a well-rounded person. Therefore, the worth you feel never changes — because you always know that you ARE worthy, no matter what.

 

You are worthy

You are born a worthy individual — it is simply a part of what makes you, you. You may increase that sense of worthiness at any time by taking actions to reinforce your self-worth beliefs. There are lots of things you can do to grow and maintain your self-worth, like taking care of yourself, getting exercise, being kind to yourself, and saying no when it feels right.

Innate self-worth means that you accept and honor yourself and the uniqueness that makes you different from everyone else. You know that no matter what, you are worthy of loving and being loved...simply because you ARE you.

 

The difference between self-worth and self-esteem

Self-worth and self-esteem...are they two different concepts? Many people use the two terms interchangeably, but others believe that these are two distinct and unique concepts entirely.

 

Let’s consider self-worth

How “worthy” or valuable do you believe you are? Do you feel you deserve the things you desire? The answer to these questions determines your self-worth.  It might surprise you to know that many gifted individuals have very low levels of self-worth and will subconsciously sabotage any potential success at the first opportunity.

Your self-worth is largely built up during your early childhood years. You’re essentially told what your worth is by your parents, how they act and react to you, and the quality of attention you get from them. If they have done well, you will treat yourself as if you’re valuable.

Setting realistic yet ambitious goals that stretch your limits shows you what you’re capable of achieving. Reaching those goals proves to you that you’re worth the result, thereby growing and maintaining a healthy sense of self-worth. And your success can be seen as anything that you’ve achieved that holds value for you, whether it’s a higher paying job, learning a new skill, or having healthy relationships.

 

Let’s talk about self-esteem

Your self-esteem can be determined by things outside yourself — like rejection. It instantly changes the way you think, and feel, about yourself. One of the best ways to reinforce your self-esteem is to surround yourself with supportive people who like and enjoy you and appreciate your unique talents and skills. Everyone deserves this treatment from those who are part of their inner circle.

When you take a hit to your self-esteem, the good news is — you can recover quickly by doing things you’re good at. By understanding that there are distinct things you are great at doing, that hit on your self-esteem will hurt less, and soon you’ll feel great again!

 

Building Your Self Worth

You are born with an innate sense of self-worth that you can build on and develop as you grow. There are five key components to building up your self-worth, and we’ll explore all five to find out a bit about each.

 

1 | Know and understand yourself — Knowing who you are inside has nothing to do with what you have or what you’ve done. It IS about knowing what makes you uniquely and unquestionably you. What do you love, what don’t you? What do you appreciate? What sorts of things and experiences do you value? A great question to ask that will help you understand what you value about yourself is: If everything I own, and everything I love, was taken from me tomorrow, and all I had was myself...what would I be able to offer the world?

 

2 | Accept yourself at this moment — Accepting yourself means valuing who you are in the present moment, irrespective of what you may have done in the past that you’d rather not think about. The good news is that you don’t have to think about it! Being able to accept yourself means no judgments, no looking back, and no looking forward. Just here and now, and who you are at this moment, including the good and the bad, the perfect and the flawed parts of yourself.

 

3 | Unreservedly love yourself — A very large part of increasing your self-worth is learning to love and care for yourself. Make sure you’re taken care of and that your needs are met. Practice positive and compassionate thinking about yourself, and yourself. This is where you let go of that negative self-talk, self-loathing, and negative thinking patterns. Everybody has flaws and faults. It helps make us who we are as individuals. But it doesn’t invalidate our value.

 

4 | Acknowledge yourself — This is where you begin to truly realize that everything external to you — has no bearing on who you are and what you are fundamentally worth to yourself and the world. When these external things no longer serve you, you must learn to let them go. Instead, you’ve grown a much stronger sense of self that no longer relies on these external things.

 

5 | You are accountable — Now, you are in command, and it is you and only you who is responsible for your actions, your life experiences, your challenges, and your unique situations. You have the necessary power to control your entire world.

 

My final thought

No matter who you are, or what you have been through, I believe that you are good enough, that you are strong enough, that you deserve your desires because you are born a worthy human being.

 

For more information, read the following post by Stephanie Jade Wong.

13 Things That Don’t Determine Your Self Worth

 

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Believe In Yourself

Gram’s Wisdom 34 Believing in you

Should you believe in yourself? The plain answer is no one else will. Try accomplishing anything, and guess what? You will have an uphill climb to your goal. Sure, you will get there eventually, but any doubts you have will make it much more difficult than it needs to be.

You can’t do everything yourself. At some point, you are certain to need the help of someone for something. If you don’t believe in yourself, how will you ever convince others that they can or should?

I think I must have been 12 or 13 when my Gram thought I was old enough to absorb this lesson. This was a tough one for me. I honestly didn’t believe in myself. But I had believed in her all my life.

Gram told me if you believe in yourself, there is little that can stop you from doing whatever you want to accomplish. It gives you the ability to push forward and to defy the odds.

You will be able to handle any hurdles that come your way. You will also be able to disregard the pessimists. It gives you peace of mind when you stick to your self-belief.

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A firm belief in yourself can work wonders

It’s vital to believe in yourself

Your spouse and your family will believe in you to a certain degree. However, when times get tough, family support tends to wane. It’s not that they don’t love and care about you. It’s just they stopped believing in you or your dream/goal. While this doesn’t always occur, it often occurs enough to cause disagreement.

When a spouse or parents initially give you support for a new enterprise, there is excitement in the air; they tell you to give it your best shot. When the undertaking doesn’t work out as they believe it should, they begin to question whether you should continue with it. If your belief weakens, you may take on their way of reasoning.

That time is exactly the moment that you shouldn’t stop. People don’t get ahead by quitting. Your belief in yourself should equip you with the ability to tell your friends and family to have some faith. A firm belief in yourself would give you the courage to stand up to them.

 

Maintaining self-belief takes perseverance

The trouble is, the path towards success in these endeavors is not a straight line. Having some bumps in the road is normal. This is what characterizes the success of the enterprise, and the people who take risks. It should be embraced and not feared. Whatever venture you decide to pursue, know that only by continuing will you make it work.

Don’t take the easy way out. Instead, prepare yourself as much as possible for unfamiliar situations. But move forward with a strong belief that you can accomplish what you set out to do.

 

Self-belief powers your dreams, desires, and goals

To keep that self-belief strong, you need to describe your goals. You wouldn’t expect a contractor to build a house without a blueprint. You, too, need an outline to guide you on how to continue. Too many people skip this step and wonder why they aren’t getting anywhere.

Goals are your direction but moving ahead with them is only done when you believe that it’s possible. The belief is the momentum you need to act. It helps you to concentrate on getting your tasks complete.

 

Confidence is built on self-belief

You will also build confidence when you have self-belief. It’s an influential tool and others will be attracted to that confidence. They will follow your lead, and you will help show them what is imaginable. When you stumble over obstacles (and you will), that confidence will help you see them through. You will know how to take alternate actions when necessary. The people following you will appreciate that as well.

 

Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative

Several negative forces will try to knock you down. You may even find yourself allowing it to happen. You need to remain focused on why you began your journey in the first place. Use positive affirmations to support your idea. Be consistent with your affirmations.

Unfortunately, many of the negative forces are going to come from your family and friends. They will see it as helping you prevent blunders. Many people will succumb to this negative pressure and give up.

One way to counteract this is to join groups of like-minded individuals. It can be related to your business, or it can be groups that focus on self-help. These organizations exist to try and drive the negative forces out. It’s a good place to go and receive reassurance from the group.

Attending these groups can sometimes lead to friendships with people where you can extend the encouragement of each other. You may even form business collaborations from these friendships. It’s good to know that you have the support of these people when these relationships form. They understand when everyone else around you don’t. Your self-belief will strengthen considerably from this arrangement.

 

Find others who can motivate and inspire you

The motivation of others can bolster belief in yourself

Think back to a time when someone inspired you. It could be a conference you attended or saw online. You might have read a profile of someone you admired. Whatever the case, the motivation of others can strengthen how you see yourself.

The internet gives us plenty of opportunities to view the stories of high-profile people. Just search on YouTube, and you will find hundreds (if not thousands) of videos of these people sharing their experiences. You will find books covering the same subject. However, there's usually more detail in books rather than in a video. Therefore, you should take advantage of both.

 

Don’t mistake motivation and inspiration for necessary action 

It’s important to have others who help inspire and motivate you. However, if you place them too high on a pedestal, you may find it difficult to motivate yourself. You begin to suppose these people have an innate ability that you don’t possess. That is counterproductive. You need to recognize they all began the same as you. Some may have had initial advantages, but even people with these advantages don’t always excel. Most people still need to work hard to reach their goals.

Another issue is spending too much time listening or reading about people who motivate you. You must take appropriate action to move ahead with your own goals. It is useful to be motivated by others, but you need to do more than go to seminars or read books. None of that matters unless you put in the effort yourself. Once that happens, others may come to you one day to say how you helped motivate them.

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My final thought

Self-belief is one of the most valuable things you can do for your life and yourself. It’s not easy to think positively about yourself when you are besieged on all sides by negativity. But to believe in yourself is certainly worth any effort you make.

 

For additional information, please read this post by Soul Salt.

How to Believe in Yourself

 

I hope you enjoyed this post and will share it with people you love. 

Accept Your Imperfections

One of the most difficult things we humans learn to do is accept our imperfections. Most of you will try to change what you see as flaws if you find them bothersome. You will find flaws in your looks, buck teeth can be fixed, a missing limb is harder to disguise.

Flaws in your behavior can be simple to change but may depend more on how it impacts others. Flaws in your character are tougher to change, and you must want to change and be willing to do the work.

If you want to be content and happy in life, you must find a way to live amicably with your imperfections.

 

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Step away from the competition

If you have any contact with social media, you will have noticed how everyone is striving to be perfect. Suddenly, you can’t post a selfie without at least one filter or go out for dinner without showing your curated plate of food. Even your dog is dressed to look perfect.

Don’t you want to be who you are? Liked for the way you are? After all, other people’s picture perfection isn’t any more genuine than yours is.

Think of it, What would happen if you just decided to take a step away from all the competition, all that clamoring for likes and hearts? What if you chose simply to enjoy your life, warts and all, without sharing it with the world?

Here’s how you can reclaim your life and be happier.

 

Be mindful of your thoughts

If a negative viewpoint has become your default setting, you probably don’t even realize it when you’re doing it. Before you know it, you perpetually set your inner monologue to negativity. You feel discontented and irritable with everyone and everything. Your thoughts become your life. And that’s no way to live your best life!

Consciously change your inner monologue to focus on the positives. Instead of focusing on differences and seeing them as flaws, choose to see what is good in the other person. If your go-to is to criticize their weight or hair, or the way they speak, change your view of them by finding something to admire.

Take a moment to listen to your self-talk for a moment. Consider the words you’re using and course-correct for more positive language.

 

Don’t judge harshly

You can choose immediately to stop scrutinizing other people, looking for what’s wrong with their face or their body or their life choices. In this restless modern world, it’s too easy to fall into the bad habit of judging yourself and others too harshly.

Alter your attitude to one of charitability, let go of the urge to be critical of others, stop seeing their differences as flaws instead, see them as endearing quirks, or merely as something that makes that person unique. Soon you should see a trickle-down effect on how you see yourself. The You who have oddities and foibles of your own.

 

Accept that no one is perfect

A perfectionist is never happy with who they are, how they look, or how they’re doing. Instead, they have unrealistically high standards that can’t be met. When they fall short of this ideal, they feel imperfect and beat themselves up for it.

Wanting to be the best version of yourself isn’t the same as being a perfectionist. Being your best means you work hard, you try, and you don’t give up. But it doesn’t mean you condemn yourself when things aren’t perfect, and you don’t take failure personally. Instead, you are kinder and more forgiving of yourself.

 

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Open yourself to a colorful view of the world

It’s easy to fall into the habit of seeing things as right or wrong, good, or bad. Sure, someone else’s choice may not be your choice, and why should it? Maybe you don’t like snow or want to work for a multinational or live in a city. But it doesn’t mean those other choices are wrong; they’re just different.

Seeing things in black and white is limiting.

Open up a little and revise your worldview, so you see all the colors, all choices as equally valid.

 

Relax in the present and go with the flow

Perfectionists tend to trip over every little detail and allow imperfections to steal their lives. They act almost like the perfection police, waiting with bated breath to be added to their list of misdemeanors. Or they worry about future mistakes, wasting time trying to avoid them.

Don’t be that person! You can choose to stay focused on the here and now and experience what’s happening in your life. When you embrace imperfection, you learn to love what you can’t change as a natural part of life, it frees you up to enjoy the ride.

Obstacles become challenges that make life more enjoyable on your way to where you want to be. You can slow down, find your inner peace and gratefully notice all the good things there are in your life.

 

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Promote imperfection as a way of life

Once you make peace with imperfection, you’re not sensitive to others’ opinions, you can be a lot more objective about life. Your perspectives change, and what once seemed tremendously important, suddenly doesn’t matter so much. You shift your reality. All experiences become just another aspect of a life lived richly, shaping the person you are continually becoming.

Imperfection stops being something to avoid at all costs. Think about it like this: perfection implies inertia, something you attain and must manage. It’s fragile and vulnerable. It puts an end to growth. And then what? You don’t want to stop learning and growing and developing, do you? Embracing imperfection means there’s always an opportunity to learn and grow and become a better person.

 

My final thought

I hope this post has given you a birds-eye-view on some of what you need to know about accepting your imperfections.

Keep in mind that some of your perceived flaws make you not just who you are, but uniquely memorable. So, before making alterations, consider why you want to do that and what you hope the desired result looks like.

 

If you are looking for further help, techniques used in Perfectly Imperfect 7 Ways To Embrace Your Flaws by The Law Of Attraction may be just the ticket.

 

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Finish What You Started

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Gram’s Wisdom 33 The value of persistence

My Gram often spoke of the value of what she called, “seeing things through.” People today call that follow-through. Her thought was, “if it needs to be done, it needs to be complete.” She also liked to tell me the adage of quitters never win, and winners never quit.

Gram called me stubborn as a child. My husband also has made this observation occasionally, but cautiously, as I see myself as being merely resistant instead.

Since I spent time with my Gram as a girl, she often oversaw my homework or school projects. I believe I was a normal kid, so, I breezed through the things I liked effortlessly and would drag my feet and grouse about those things that seemed like work. Not acceptable to Gram. She had a strong belief in the lessons we learn from what we don’t like, or don’t want to do.

What has this to do with persistence? The words stubborn and persistent are synonyms. Yet, they are also seen as opposites. Stubbornness is seen as a negative, an unwillingness to make changes. While persistence is viewed positively, it’s a willingness to succeed no matter what.

Energy and persistence conquer all things.
— Benjamin Franklin

 

Strategies to build a persistent mindset

When it comes to completing a task, or project, have you felt overwhelmed, Do you ever choke under the pressure and wonder if you can finish? If this has happened to you, you may have ended up feeling embarrassed and intensely disappointed in your abilities. 

Even though your need for a result is great, the effort you must put in, or the time required to complete the task might make you want to give up. Where do you stand when it comes to persevering until a job is complete?

It can be easy, or at least not awful if we can do the projects we want. Unfortunately, in the game of life all too often your tasks get chosen for you. The boss hands you a project, or life says cook, clean, wash. How can you persist when you’re challenged at every turn in meeting your goals?

If you struggle to complete what you start, these STRATEGIES can help you attain a persistent mindset.

Being consistent.

Sometimes, it feels like you’ll never get there. When you feel that way, remind yourself you must simply keep on going. If you continue working consistently toward your goal, chances are good you’ll ultimately accomplish it. Many people look for this skill, whether in the workplace or in their personal life. They want to know that they can count on you to work hard to do what needs to be done regularly.

Note what you’ve finished so far.

When you can see some fruits of your labors, you get another surge of motivation to keep going. Maybe you completed 10% of the project last week. That’s 10% less than what you must do to finish. Pat yourself on the back. Have a critical awareness of what you’ve already completed as well as what you have left to do.

Emphasize the positive.

Whenever you stay focused on the positive, it just makes it easier to continue moving steadily forward. Having a positive attitude is a choice, so take advantage of it.

Avoid underestimating the time it will take to finish.

We’ve all had the experience of thinking we know how long we will spend completing a particular task, only to discover it takes much longer. If you must make an approximate guess as to how much time you’ll need, it’s better to overestimate.

Make a vow to finish what you’ve started.

Staying mindful of what you want to do and why you want to do it and then vowing to finish will serve as motivation to help you keep your nose to the grindstone. Promise yourself you’ll persist until you succeed. Then, when you have done it, you may bask in the warm fuzzies of accomplishment.

Identify when you must tweak your results.

There may be times when you wish to slightly alter your end goal. After all, situations and people change. Particularly for long-term projects and goals, stay focused so that you’ll identify when it’s time to make alterations.

         If what you want has changed, it’s okay. Just revisit the goal, tweak it, and continue moving forward.

Consider setting mini-goals.

If you need some extra motivation along the way, you might benefit from setting smaller interim goals that you can easily accomplish. It feels good to see that you’re achieving your mini-goals. The momentum you gain is astonishing.

         Chances are pretty good that you’ll be successful. And when you are, you can rejoice at the moment, and set another mini-goal ensuring you continue forward to the completion of the task.

Being persistent can be a challenge that’s well worth the effort. Be consistent and take note of what you’ve done so far. Stay as positive as you can and avoid under-estimating the time it will take for job completion. Vow to finish and stay aware of what you’re doing, so you can adjust your goal if you need to. Finally, consider setting mini-goals to persist until you finish the task.

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Reasons you may want to persist

On the off chance, you are resistant to persistence, and many people are, (no judgment) look below at the list of benefits of persistence. These benefits are byproducts of the persistent attitude you are trying to build. 

Consequently, they don’t take more effort or energy on your part. If you persist, you can’t fail!

9 Benefits of persistence:

  1. You become an expert. Chances are that the first time you try something, you might not be good at it. However, once you’ve done the same task numerous times, you’ll soon become better and better, becoming an expert at the task in the process.

  2. Persistence motivates you to try harder. When you try and try, you’ll move a little closer to your goal with each attempt. This will help motivate you as it will show that your determination makes a difference.

  3. Persistence is a sign of ambition. Only those who are truly ambitious can bring persistence into their daily lives. Therefore, the most successful people you know are also those who are most persistent.

  4. You’re a good example. Whether you’re setting an example for your work colleagues or your children, if they see that you’re unwilling to give up when you face adversity, they’ll be more motivated to try harder at their challenges.

  5. Persistence reveals the value of success. Being successful takes time and effort. No one ever becomes successful without making sacrifices. Focus on being persistent with your time and efforts.

  6. Persistence provides crucial experience. When you’re persistent, you learn that each failure gives you another opportunity to learn. With each failure, you’ll become more resilient. You’ll also learn how you can overcome any challenge.

  7. You become more aware of your weaknesses. To achieve success at anything, it’s important to understand your weaknesses. When you look at your failures, you’ll discover your faults and learn what you need to work on to become successful.

  8. You’ll learn that things that come easily seldom bring many rewards. Harder tasks may require more work and consistency, but they offer much greater rewards in return. Isn’t it worth making that little extra effort to achieve greater rewards?

  9. You’ll be able to create the life you desire. With persistence, you’ll be able to glide through life’s obstacles. You’ll seek solutions to overcome your challenges and keep moving forward to build a life that satisfies you.

 

My Final Thought

Persistence is essential, as rarely does anything of worth in life come without it. Most often, you’ll need to work hard for what you want. Still, your persistent mindset can allow you to accomplish whatever you set your heart on.

 

For additional information, there are two posts below.

Be Unstoppable: The Importance Of Persistence In Business

5 Tips To Improve Your Concentration

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post, I hope it was positive.