Happiness Begins Within You

Gram’s Wisdom Number 5

“Fix it or Forget it.” Is what Gram told me when I complained of an unhappy day or experience. She told me my happiness was within me and not for others to direct, that I must choose my own path, if I truly wanted to be happy. She said that I should fix things that made me unhappy where possible and forget those things I couldn’t control. Many happy years later we heard “Don’t Worry Be Happy” on the radio. She laughed and said to me that song carried the right message.

So, you might think you know what happiness is but is that necessarily true?

What isn’t being happy?

1.     “Stuff” won’t make you happy (for long anyway)

You won’t find happiness in getting everything you want or having things your way. Money doesn’t buy happiness: in fact, getting a raise or a windfall can increase your dissatisfaction as your expectations expand to exceed whatever money you have. That new car or larger house will soon start to feel like not enough.

You get the same goal displacement when things go your way. It’s human nature to keep pushing the boundaries and asking for more!

2.     Happiness isn’t cloud 9

People who are happy don’t live in a constant state of ecstasy! Life isn’t like that. Some days you feel great, other days not so much. And everyone has seriously bad times, that’s just the way it goes. Happiness is way more than just feeling good. It’s feeling contented and satisfied with what you have while living a meaningful life.

3.     Happiness isn’t the end of the road

Happiness isn’t something you arrive at, or you achieve, and then it’s done. It’s not something you can check off your to-do list. Happiness is more like a habit or method you can learn, a special routine way you have of looking at the world and your relationships and being happy.

Happy people are at peace with the highs and lows of life and find joy and contentment whatever their circumstance.

Recognizing happiness

It’s within you

By the fact that you’re a human being and you can experience feelings, happiness being one of them, you know that true happiness does exist. You can probably write down many days and things that have brought happiness to your life over the years since you were born up until today.

Who is happier?

It’s amazing but while it’s easy to say that people cannot be happy unless they have their basic needs met. You’ll find that there are people all around you who do not have their needs met but who are very happy. That bears out as true when you study rich people and realize they are not happier than poor people overall.

It’s about appreciation

If you look at a list of the happiest countries in the world, you will realize that being happy isn’t about the stuff you have. The happiest people right now happen to live in Denmark. Most people who live there pay high taxes, live in small homes and tend to not be as consumer-driven as people in the USA, for example. But the USA is 17 on the list. That shows that happiness is not about stuff.

It’s about your path

You may believe that happiness is about reaching your goals too. But, it’s not. If you often say things like “I’ll be happy when…” then it’s not likely you will ever be happy. You can be happy today, before reaching your goals, if you enjoy the path taken to those goals. It’s honestly more about the day to day living, not the goal achieving moments.

It’s internal feeling not external circumstance

Now, of course, some things in life can really get you down. However, for happy people, even the worst events will not make them unhappy, at least not permanently. A happy person usually has the skills to navigate negative things about their circumstances. Dr. Gillian Mandich, a happiness expert, states that our circumstances account for only 10 percent of our happiness.

Many people who have struggles in life often pooh-pooh happiness and like to claim that true happiness is not even possible. The truth is there are different levels of happiness that you can experience in your life. A happy person isn’t going to be the same level of happy 24/7, 365 days a year.  It’s not a straight line. There are highs and lows that you will experience all throughout life but whether you are happy or not is all about your feelings.

“We cannot be happy if we expect to live all the time at the highest peak of intensity. Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.”

   Thomas Merton

So where does that leave you?

Studies have shown that happiness comes from a combination of factors, from finding deep satisfaction and meaning in your life, to appreciating the things that are good, not focusing on lack or what you haven’t achieved.

True, lasting happiness seems to depend on some things such as mindset, expectations and how you feel day by day.

·        If you put more store in relationships and connections with the people you love, you’ll be happier than if you expect possessions to make you happy.

·         If you expect things to go your way they often do, and if you notice the things, you’re grateful for, you’ll find more of them. If you need things to go your way all the time, then prepare for disappointment.

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Ways For You To Choose Happiness

More to happiness than positive thoughts

People may tell you to think “happy thoughts” or to think positively if you want to be happy. And they would be right, and, they would be wrong. Happiness is a mindset, a powerful feeling. If you want to be happy it takes more than just positive thoughts. It also takes positive action. 

While the dictionary defines happiness as “the state of being happy” which gives you very little information about the idea or feeling of, or state of happiness. Let’s look at some different things that happiness can be, but realize that in truth, happiness is in the mind of the beholder.

You have what you need  

When a person is happy, they usually don’t even have any needs that aren’t being met to the level they want them to be met. It doesn’t mean that someone is not having a hard time it’s all about how you make what you have fill your needs.

You feel satisfied

When you are happy you tend to feel simply satisfied with your life. You think about your life and feel good about it. You feel very satisfied when you look around your life and see all the fortune you have whether it’s where you live, who you live with, or just about yourself doesn’t even matter.

You’re contented

A happy person tends to feel really content about the things in their life. They feel content about their job, their home, their things, their health – nothing is nagging at their mind about anything causing stress. But remember happy people do have stress, they’re just better at feeling content even when things aren’t perfect.

You feel peaceful

A happy person often feels a lot of peace surrounding their life and family. They tend to know that everything will turn out okay and are good at turning negativity into positivity.

You define your happiness

The truth is, happiness is how you define it personally for you. It’s not about getting tons of stuff unless you want that. It’s not about finding a spouse unless you want that. It’s not about having kids unless you want that. It’s all up to you and  your definition of  happiness.

It’s a journey

Happiness is not a destination that you get to one day and stay at. It’s a lifelong journey that will have many ups and downs and struggles. However, overall the ups and downs of life, you manage to feel good about it. In the 1989 movie, “Parenthood” one of the main characters, a mother, who is struggling states that she loves “the roller-coaster” of life while her husband is struggling and not as happy because he focuses on the downs instead of the ups.

How you act

When you are happy you tend to act in more positive ways over all. When happy, you eat better, you move more, you think differently. Don’t worry. You have it in your power to be happy where you are in your life right now.

Happiness is more than thinking positive thoughts. Happiness is having your needs met, but it’s not about having everything, or even the best, it’s about being satisfied with what you have while also being able to work for the things you want. While you do have to do more than think positively to really and truly feel happy, it does start with your thoughts. However, it will manifest with your actions. 

For another look at happiness see my past post, Acting How You Want To Feel.

Five ways being happy is important

You probably have happiness as one of your life goals, whether it’s explicit or not. It’s probably up there with being healthy, wealthy, and wise! There are some solidly good reasons why it’s important to be happy, and some of them will surprise you.

1.   Happiness feels marvelous

Happiness is wonderful purely for its own sake. When you’re happy, you feel energetic and content. All is right with your world, and you naturally want to spread your good vibes.

2.   Being happy is good for your overall health

When you’re happy, you flood your brain with endorphins and other positive hormones like dopamine and serotonin. Your stress levels go down, along with your blood pressure and your heart rate.

Happy people are more resilient in the face of life’s stress; they tend to be better able to roll with the punches and come up smiling. If you’re happy, you’re less likely to suffer from heart disease, inflammation, and chronic disease. You’ll age better and even live longer!

3.   Success doesn’t mean a thing without happiness

Every day you can read about successful, wealthy people whose lives are out of control due to the pressures of celebrity, drug addiction, or alcoholism. Their success hasn’t automatically meant happiness for them. So, if you think that being rich or having a new car or being famous will make you happy, think again. If you hate your life, no amount of success will bring you joy.

4.   Happy people have better relationships

Happiness is contagious and attractive. We see happy people as more trustworthy and stronger leaders. They are also likely to have a wider circle of friends, have better interpersonal relationships, and are more likely to have a romantic partner.

5.   Being happy makes you a nicer person

It seems that happiness and empathy are linked. Happy people are more likely to share their good fortune and help others.

Happy people are also less violent and more peaceful. Researchers think that positive emotions make us more likely to seek a win/win solution and change the way we think.  

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions”.

   Dalai Lama XIV

Four truths of happiness

Stop for a moment and think about what true happiness is. Guaranteed it’s not a new car or a big house. True happiness comes from within and isn’t dependent on possessions. You can find real happiness in the following truths.

1.   Happiness is found in a full life

You can be happy even if things in your life aren’t going the way you planned. A full life has ups and downs, setbacks as well as achievements. Happiness means finding meaning in whatever is happening around and to you. Being grateful for whatever you’re experiencing will make for a happier, more satisfying life.

2.   Your happiness doesn’t depend on other people

Often people put their happiness in the hands of others. They need external validation to feel good. But relying on other people’s good opinion of you isn’t a healthy way to live.

Check in with how you feel deep in your heart, do the best you can, and let other people worry about themselves.

3.   Happiness is not pretending

Social media is full of people pretending to have perfect lives. They don’t. No one does. The happiness you see on TV or your social media feed may be genuine, maybe not. But remember everyone is showing the best of their lives. Likely a lot of them are pretending to be happier than they are. No one is going to post their latest fight or talk about being fired.

So, the online world you see, that’s full of promotions, and happy families is an illusion. The real world is much more nuanced, and real happiness doesn’t happen in a bubble.

4.   Your happiness comes from within you

It might sound like a truism/cliché, but true happiness does come from within yourself. If you expect someone else to make you happy, whether it’s a partner, friend or child, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. And giving them an unrealistic and unfair responsibility. The only person responsible for your happiness is you.

True happiness comes from a deep connection to yourself, from self-knowing and self-acceptance. And once you have that, all your relationships will be energized and happier. 

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Achieve Your Own Personal Transformation

Big changes or small

People seem to want changes in their lives. They either want a new career, be able to lose weight, or simply accomplish something different than what they have done before. They want to go through some personal transformation. But is it even possible?

Think about the number of times you have made New Year’s resolutions. Were any of them successful? Many people simply stop doing them because they know it’s an exercise in futility. Then, you have those who try over and over again to lose weight. They try one diet after another and after a few months gained most of the pounds back again.

Is there a secret?

On the other end of the spectrum are people who have overcome major obstacles and have thrived, never looking back from their new situations. Could some of us be wired differently than others?

Most people are capable of transforming their lives. If that weren’t true, you’d have way fewer success stories in the world. It depends on how badly people want to make changes. Sometimes, people simply aren’t ready for a change.

Other factors

Your environment also plays a huge role in determining success in implementing changes. Keeping yourself involved with negative-thinking people who discourage change makes it very difficult to succeed. If you truly want to transform, align yourself with people who want to help you succeed.

People are different. Some people can create transformations easily and without any help or encouragement from others. They have strong wills and keep going until the change becomes part of their lives. Others need help and encouragement.

Your background

Your upbringing is likely to be a factor in how well you adapt to change. If your parents preferred the status quo, you'd find it difficult to implement changes at first. Bear in mind, there are plenty of people who break away from the mold of their families and make changes in spite of their family backgrounds.

The best advice you should follow is never give up. If something doesn’t work out, try something else or look at the situation in a different way. Learn from your mistakes and failures and continue until you are where you want to be. Determination and persistence are your biggest allies when making your transformations. Never let anyone stand in your way of something you truly desire. Granted, it’s never easy. If it were, everyone would change easily and change would not be scary.

Resources can help you change

When you look to transform your life, having great resources helps you quickly accomplish this goal. Use the following references whenever you want to enact change.

Goodreads.com

Whether you are looking for a specific aspect of your life to transform or you simply want to learn more about the transformation process in general, look at Goodreads.com. While this website will often point you to Amazon and Kindle, it gives you further insight that may not be available directly on Amazon. It is a forum about books published on Amazon. You can get a better feel for which books to target. Of course, you should check out Amazon and other booksellers as well.

Trans 4 Mind

The tagline for this website is “Personal Development Resources”. The website itself does not contain much in the way of resources. It is more a catalog of books that are available (mostly from Amazon). The good news is they are not using affiliate links to make money from the recommendations. It is unclear whether they are using this website to endorse the authors. Still, it has value in seeing the various titles that are available in many facets of personal transformation. You can use this website as a starting point for other research. Source: http://trans4mind.com

Wikipedia.org

It’s usually not recommended to use Wikipedia.org directly as a source. However, one great aspect of Wikipedia is the resources that it links to at the end of each article. In many articles, the number of links are extensive and usually quite relevant. It is another great resource to use for your research.

Psychology Today

This website had several resources on transformation. Keep in mind that many of the resources are geared towards the transformation of negative behaviors such as anger management, stress reduction, etc. Also, do not expect to be “cured” from the information provided on this website. The goal of the site is to set you up with a qualified professional aimed at helping you in your transformation. PsychologyToday.com

Udemy.com

There are free and paid courses available on Udemy.com. It is worth a look at some of the free courses and then you can decide to try paid ones after. At the time of this writing, there are 70+ free resources related to personal transformation. Source: https://www.udemy.com/courses/personal-development/personal-transformation/

Google

If you are looking for a topic or area for transformation, use an advanced Google search with the operator “inurl:”. This operator makes sure the phrase is within the URL, which means the website is targeting that phrase. For instance, if you wanted information on how to stop smoking, try:

Inurl:stop smoking

Who do you want to be?

Have you hit a roadblock?

If you are unhappy where you are in life, it could be you are not creating the right vision about yourself. Think back to recent thoughts you had. Were they negative thoughts or feelings like you’ve hit a roadblock?

Shift your focus to a life that you want or the person you want to become. If you want to have a life like an idol of yours, read about how that idol has become a success and use that as a guideline to help you accomplish something similar.

Create a positive image

When you create a positive image within your mind, it will set up neural pathways to help you reach your goals. The more you reinforce this mental image the more pathways will be created. If there is information available online that can help you with your vision, use it to your advantage.

When you have determined your vision and the steps to help you get there, continue imagining that vision. Do this daily. Your brain gets so used to this vision it becomes a subconscious process.

Tweak your plans

Of course, you can alter your plan or your vision. There may be something you thought you wanted, but as you progress, you find this isn’t the case. There is nothing wrong with that. If this happens, create another vision and move on from there. Your brain will form pathways for this new vision.

If your vision is fine but the plan is not getting you where you need to be, don’t be afraid to make changes. Plans are guidelines only. They can be changed as needed. This can happen as new information comes to light along the way, information which wasn’t available when you first started.

Tune out the naysayers

Be prepared for criticism while creating this new vision for yourself. It is yours and yours alone. People may not understand what you are trying to achieve. Hold to your beliefs and prove them wrong. Your critics are not the ones who have to live with the vision you make for yourself.

You will find when you reach your goals those same critics will suddenly be on your side. They will even claim to have been there for you all along. It’s annoying, but that is how people behave. Just move on with your vision and let them think whatever they want.

Helping your transformation

Get help

Your changes, or transformations, could be major and may take immense effort. Will you know what changes are needed and how to go about them? If not, you may consider finding someone who can help.

While hiring a professional coach may seem an obvious choice, it’s not the only choice. You may already know someone experienced who can help you. Perhaps you have kept in contact with a teacher you admired while in school. This teacher could serve as a mentor or at the very least, point you to qualified people who can help.

Don’t rule out friends and colleagues. There should be plenty of people in your own circles who can provide guidance with the changes you seek. If nothing else, they can provide moral support and encouragement.

Be cautious

While it’s okay to do research online, be cautious of the results. You’ll see plenty of self-proclaimed experts passing themselves off as coaches or mentors. Their fees will be hefty, but it may be unclear if they can help or have the proper credentials. When you see someone who you believe seems capable, try to find others who have worked with them. Seek out advice from your network of colleagues and friends.

Lookout for scams, which you’ll find plenty of in your search. Use the internet to see if any red flags pop up when searching for professionals. If there are a lot of results reporting these listings as scams, you should move on. If the listings you investigate don’t come up as scams, this does not mean they are in the clear. It could mean the listings are new. Many scammers will shut down one site when they get flagged for being a scammer. It’s difficult for law enforcement to keep up with these.

Is a guarantee offered?

Never pay for anything without knowing what you are going to get. Consider paying using PayPal as they offer some protection should the service not deliver what was promised. You have 45 days to make a claim. The scammers do not want a record of their activity, so you probably won’t get contested when you make the claim. Of course, it is highly likely the scammer won’t even allow the use of a payment processor such as PayPal. You should consider this a major red flag.

There is never a better time to begin your own transformation journey than right now. These tips should help get you on your way.

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Further Lessons Learned From Titanic

Gram’s Wisdom 4

You may recall the post I did a year ago Lessons I Learned From Titanic if not check it out. The reason I have for revisiting this is that there were additional lessons I had learned from Titanic that I wanted to share. It seems only right that as it was Gram taking the 5 year old Joyce to see “The Unsinkable Molly Brown” thereby setting my feet on the path of all things Titanic, that these lessons be included in a Gram’s Wisdom post.

So, on this 107th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, in no order, and because they are still relevant today, are more lessons I learned from Titanic.

Titanic Museum Belfast, Ireland

Share your gifts

You owe it to yourself to share your talent, your skill, or whatever unique gift that you possess with others. When you do it’s a win-win for everyone. What you create be it art, a welcoming home, or handcrafted goods from your garage serves not only to enrich your own life but the lives of those who have heard about or seen what it is you have created. Now the real magic of this is in the ripple effect of those whom you touched with your gift. These people seeing your example, feel themselves empowered to share with others their own special gifts.

The Band on Titanic shared their talent with their fellow passengers throughout the voyage. Their gift provided a sense of calm on a night when it was sorely needed. Though their last tune is still disputed by all accounts it’s agreed that they played until the very end.

Go above and beyond

Going above is taking that extra step whatever it might be. Yet, a lot of people will only do so if it’s easy or convenient to do at the time, or if they can’t say no and feel guilted into doing it for some reason. While to go beyond is to do the thing no one else does or wants to do except on rare occasions or in times of dire emergency, because they are usually dirty, ugly, or frightening to perform.

The stokers, and engineering crew of Titanic remained at their posts keeping the electricity so vital to the pumps, the elevators, the lights, and the all-important telegraph working as long as possible. Their selfless sacrifice allowed more passengers to safely depart the ship than would have otherwise been possible.

Community

While Titanic carried what was considered a microcosm of western society on her maiden voyage there wasn’t the kind of structure that we would recognize as being community. Instead community at this time still meant those who lived near you, where you received your education, your class of people, your religious affiliation, and the kind of work you performed. So little interaction between people not part of “your” community took place.

Much would begin to change this night when mostly women and children from all walks of life would climb into lifeboats together with just one thought in mind, survival. The dissolution of class and clique over the next few years may have come as a surprise to many people. Though not to these survivors who had shared a sense of community for ten cold wet hours with others who would forever have more in common with them than anyone else.

Never stop innovating

Life isn’t meant to be set in stone with one set of perfect plans that leave you no room to alter or change your course. We don’t live in a vacuum that allows for that. Instead every choice made, every right or left turn, carries you nearer to or farther from your plan. But whether your plan is for what you do or who you are, there is always room for improvement. This doesn’t mean you should be in a constant chase for perfection which is exhausting and impossible. Yet, sit on your laurels, after doing something once and see how quickly your ideas become old hat and you become redundant as you fall behind the pack that is innovating.

Thomas Andrews, Titanic’s architect knew this as well as anyone. The tweaks to Olympic became reality on her sister ship Titanic. So, just as he had previously, he now set sail on Titanic’s maiden voyage to make any additional changes or refinements that he felt would be an improvement to her design, function, and comfort.

My book recommendation this year is Titanic and Her Sisters Olympic and Britannic. The authors are Tom McCluskie, Michael Sharpe, and Leo Marriott. It is a coffee table book with photos on every page and enough information about the three ships to make anyone who reads it feel knowledgeable about the construction and careers of the ships.

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Learn How To Say No

Learn to say no as a part of better self-care

There are too many nice people in the world today…or so it might seem, with the number of “yes” folks you run into on a daily basis. However, what about the lesser heard “evil sibling”, the word “NO”?

As a child, you were raised to be considerate to others, and to accommodate them as much as possible.

How do you know exactly when enough is enough? And more importantly, are you saying no to yourself by saying yes to others every time? Chances are that is exactly what you are doing, even if only subliminally.

A no to others is a yes to yourself.

Wondering when is the time for you to use your no’s effectively? Take a look and see.

Adding to your stress

Not being able to say no can greatly contribute to elevated stress and really quickly! Doing too much fuels feelings of overwhelm that cause chronic stress, and people who cannot say no are usually the first to fall victim.

It is important to understand your own boundaries and limitations, and while helping others is important, you absolutely must take care of yourself first.

This means sometimes saying no to friends and family, in order to maintain an optimal level of energy, health, and wellness for yourself.

Feeling you must

This is by far the most common cause of resentment in persons, since you are basically “forced” to say yes whether or not you want to. Maybe the person asking did a major favor for you in life, maybe it is a family member.

You feel a sense of obligation to always be at the beck and call for whatever that person requests of you, but you need to ask yourself “when is my bill paid in full?” will you continue to feel a forced sense of obligation forever?

This constant obligatory situation builds resentment, and resentment can literally make you physically ill!

You need to let them know you have to put yourself first, by doing what you need to do. If an issue arises, it may be best to sever ties and remove a toxic person from your life.

Staying up too late

Though it is fully understandable the need to unwind after a tiring week’s work, there is absolutely no justification for staying out late and drinking on a weekday when you have responsibilities to meet the next morning! It is more than likely the result of friends asking or guilting you out even though your better judgement says no.

You’re not doing yourself any favors as you will be sleep deficient the following day, not to mention likely hungover and miserable. Saying yes to that, is saying no to your well-being.

Enabling bad behavior

It has happened to all of us before, from your child asking for something, hearing no and slowly breaking you down, to much worse influences on your life.

From friends begging you for a loan, to unnecessary spending, while it may seem OK or insignificant at the time, it enables bad behavior and disrespect over the long haul.

When you say no, it needs to stay that way. You will gain infinite respect for having unbend-able beliefs and will be looked at as a pillar of strength.

Doormat behavior

There have undoubtedly been numerous times when you sat quietly seething while something (or someone) boils your blood to the point of an eruption, yet you show no outward emotions. This can range from a boss berating you in the office, a bully, or a random stranger who finds it appropriate to assert their dominance over you.

By allowing it, you are doing just that, rolling over and assuming the fetal position. Open your mouth, demand your respect and speak for what you believe in.

 “You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.”  -Lori Deschene

When you must temper your “NO”

Being agreeable

You want to be as helpful as possible at work. People are always coming up to you to ask for your help. Your boss gives you tasks because she knows you’ll get the work done on time. Your colleagues hit you up because you are one of the most knowledgeable people on staff. The trouble is, you then have a difficult time getting your own work done. When this happens, you need to learn how to say no.

There are ways to say no that won’t make you seem like the bad person. One great way to do this is to let people know you have other tasks and that you can get to their tasks after you complete yours.

Not when they are lazy

It is fine to help people out, but you should avoid doing their jobs for them. If someone asks you to do something simply because they don’t feel like doing it, you need to take a stand and tell them this is unacceptable. You should begin by asking why they can’t get to it. Perhaps someone else has given them more tasks to do. You need to show them how to say no to those other people.

Some people are, simply put… slackers. They try to pass off all their work to other people. When you find one of these people, confront them. If you do this early on, they will lose the control. This also demonstrates to your other colleagues that you won’t let a slacker have control, and they should follow suit.

Compromise is good

You’ll have a tougher time telling your boss no. She’s the boss after all. However, you do need to let her know that your plate is full and try to compromise. See if you can get a priority of the extra tasks your boss is piling on. Also, if others on the team are currently freed up from their tasks, see if they would be willing to take on those extra duties.

Keep your cool

It’s important to never become angry when others approach you with more work. Smile and find out why they are hitting you up for the extra work. It could be they are not aware of your schedule. You can produce your to-do list if this is the case.

By staying calm, you keep the control in your corner. If you blow up at people, they are going to consider you volatile which makes it difficult for them to compromise with you. It’s rarely a situation in which you will come up the winner. It is okay to be firm with people when you discover they are simply trying to pass work off to you.

Conclusion

“NO” is not a bad word. It has been criminalized via society and the illusion that things must be OK all the time. You will only end up feeling put upon by others, and resenting yourself for being weak, and not ever doing what you want to do by allowing others to always walk all over you. You need to look after yourself before you look after anyone else after all, and lead by example!

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How To Manifest Anything You Want

In the world we live in, working hard to improve our status, become someone’s ideal for success, or at the very least to afford more “stuff” is a highly prized activity. But does this take you to where you want to go in life? No. Mostly it keeps you chasing your tail in the rat race so that you barely find time or energy to breathe. Yet, if you slow down, follow another path, you can use the law of attraction in your favor. You can quit fighting the tide and instead go with the current. 

Why should you manifest your desired life?

Aren’t you tired of the uphill, both ways, climb to get what you want from life? You need to stop now, and ask the Universe for assistance if you are going to get all that you most desire in your life. And, when you do, what you will receive in return when you practice manifestation is so much more than you will ever have imagined.

Just take a look at these 5 manifestation practice benefits:

 A life less stressful –

It’s true that when you get out of your own way, and ask the Universe to lend a hand in moving things along, you will experience less stress in your life. Your step will be lighter and you can relax in the knowledge that the Universe has your back and is at work on your behalf.

A life more plentiful –

Whatever your motivation be it love, career, or finance, it’s assumed that you want more abundance in your life right? And, you will have it. After you have begun your manifestation practice in earnest you will become aware of the plenty in your life. Because of all the wonderful things that have always been a part of your life. From there it just increases exponentially as we allow the Universe to aid us in getting our deepest desires.

A life with more fun time –

If you aren’t always working on being perfect during your waking hours, you can allow yourself the luxury of goofiness and having more fun. You needn’t worry that there is insufficient time to have fun or that it’s necessary for your work to always be done first. And hey, the Universe is watching out for you, and when there is something for you to do, you’ll know.

A life of improved health –

Since you have less stress, increased gratitude for the awesomeness currently in your life, and additional fun time, how could your health not benefit from your manifestation practice? It is only obvious that you would laugh more often, worry less frequently, sit less and move around more, simply because you handed off the operation of getting where you want to be to the Universe.

A life of increased happiness –

Genuine happiness is a mindset, and it happens naturally when you encourage it and allow your life to unfold as it should instead of compelling it or manipulating it to bend to your will. Freeing yourself of the perpetual pursuit of your dreams and allowing the Universe to work it’s best for you will make you happier and more fulfilled.

How do I use the law of attraction?

What is this law of attraction?

The law of attraction encourages us to put exercises into place that will pull our deepest desires to us. Positivity is an action you can take to make this happen quicker and more easily. Because what you focus on is what you get, remember to keep those negative thoughts at bay. Another part of the law of attraction that people overlook is going with the flow of energy the Universe provides to manifest your dreams into reality.

 Surrender to the will of the Universe

Asking you to surrender to the Universe is very challenging for people living in a world that they are told rewards hard work and constant planning. People who hear of the law of attraction, usually begin working longer, harder, and faster in an effort to reach their goals. This what they have been trained to do – if you want to reach your goal you must work hard to get it. But this is the exact opposite of what will attract your dreams to you.

  Go with the flow

Rather than struggling even harder, you need to give up the struggle. You should go with the flow, relax, and ride the wave. Some people suppose this is must be the lazy way out. Surely getting access to what you desire most necessitates that you put in the effort and battle anything that obstructs your way. But the Universe wants to reward those who allow it to do the hard work for them.

 Conserve your energies

When a man is drowning, he is in battle with the water, thrashing around attempting to keep his head above the water. Soon he becomes exhausted, he just can’t fight it anymore. But if you are the man who permits the Universe to help you then you can conserve your energy. All you need to do now to survive is to relax and float.

 Taking Inspired action

Now, allowing the Universe to aid you doesn’t mean you will have nothing to do. You will need to take inspired action. The focus here is on “inspired.” Rather than doing busy work on anything you can think of that might help you get what you want. Instead, do only the tasks that you feel in your gut. It’s the follow up on a chance piece of information. Reading a book that is recommended to you. Setting up a job interview you overheard about. When an action comes to your awareness and you feel inspired to do it, you do it. This is the Universe guiding your desires right into your hands.

It is as easy to create a castle as a button. It’s just a matter of whether you are focused on a castle or a button. - Abraham Hicks

 Skills to make manifesting easier

Going with the flow of life doesn’t mean that there aren’t things you can do to make your manifestation efforts more effective. The following short list includes ways you can manifest your ideal life more quickly.

Meditation

Anytime you can reduce the number of thoughts swirling through your mind is a time when you are surrendering to the power of the Universe. Most of your thinking and planning only complicates your life. During meditation, you can enter a state of relaxing in an awareness that continues throughout your day.

Visualization

Visualization is a practical, fun way to put your visions of your future into the Universe to design your own destiny. When done consistently, visualization triggers your creative subconscious to the point where your mind doesn’t know the difference between what you visualize and reality. Only a few minutes a day will really ramp up your manifesting muscle.

Journaling

Putting words onto paper is extremely powerful, though often overlooked in our digital world. Writing down what you want to manifest allows you to get very clear and specific about what it is you want, which is a vital first step in manifesting. Writing down your goals daily, at least once, is a way to keep them in the forefront of your mind without obsessing over them, which can easily turn into resistance of the natural, Universal flow. 

Affirmations

Affirming that our deepest desires are already on their way to us is a popular way to manifest. Affirmations show the Universe that you are willing to work with it to attract what you want into your life. They also keep your thoughts positive so you don’t go into resistance mode when you want to go with the flow instead.

Practice gratitude

While you want to enjoy even bigger things in your life, manifesting is based on being grateful for what you have now. If you don’t appreciate what you have, why would the Universe be interested in giving you more? Practicing gratitude on a daily basis, whether formally in a journal or informally by sending out little thank you thoughts when something delights you is a powerful way to build your manifesting muscle while enjoying your daily life more.

Pretend

Feeling how you want to feel when you get your ideal life is important. Many people think they will feel it when it happens, but the law of attraction works the opposite way. What you feel, you attract. The more you practice feeling the way you want to feel, the more quickly your ideal life can materialize.

The art manifestation is a simple concept that’s easy to apply to your daily life. With awareness and practice, you can manifest amazing things into your life.

For more information here is Elyse Santilli’s post 15 Magical Ways To Manifest Your Desires.

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How Mindfulness Helps You Enjoy The Journey

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Gram’s Wisdom Installment 3

Life moved at the pace of molasses when you were a kid. Long drowsy summers broken up by even longer years of school. Those are wondrous years when there were no small moments and enjoying the little things came so naturally to you.

Soon those years are gone and you enter your place in the rat race. Somewhere between the struggle for the corner office and the raising of perfect children the moments seem lost to you and the enjoyments fewer.

Stop and Smell the Flowers

Gram told me that our lives all have the same destination. The journey to that destination has hills and valleys, twists and turns, and too frequently a detour or two. Then she assured me that we all arrive at that destination each in our own good time. You can enjoy the journey or let it pass you by unnoticed. Your choice. The secret she said was to enjoy the trip by repeatedly stopping to look at and smell the flowers. Today we call that being mindful.

A balanced life is a myth

You become so involved in your work that everyday things, important things, get shoved to the side and forgotten. Yes, you need to give your job time and concentration, but it shouldn’t be the sum total of your life.

Nor should any other part of your life take up all of your time and mental resources. But life is messy and comes to us in seasons, not resting on the head of a pin. Not waiting for its turn to have your full attention.

Is it any wonder that your life passes you by for days or weeks on end as you exist on autopilot? Do you frequently feel directionless or frazzled?

Why mindfulness?

The practice of mindfulness helps to anchor you to moments in your life. When you bask in the glory of a fresh new morning as you listen to birds sing and feel the sun on your skin, you know your enjoyment of the day is better for having had that experience.

Mindfulness is an awareness of yourself, how you feel, your senses, and of your surroundings. Not just as an onlooker as your life slips by, but as an active participant. To be present in a moment and mindful is to open yourself to it completely. To fully engage all of your senses and then examine in a non-judge mental way how they makes you feel.

Mindfulness benefits

Mindfulness opens your heart. Because you open your mind and senses to your experiences your heart will follow. The things you do or the time you spend with your loved ones is done with loving hands and a loving heart. Your whole-hearted presence is felt in the lives of those for whom you care.

For more benefits check out my previous post 10 Best Reasons For You To Become Mindful.

“The feeling that any task is a nuisance will soon disappear if it is done in mindfulness.”  -Thich Nhat Hanh

Make time for self-care

Your friends, partners, children, and work all need your care and attention. But for you to do this you must make caring for yourself a priority. Take time out to slow down and take part in fun activities that renew your energy. Take a walk, read a book, or binge on your favorite TV show. You choose. Self-care isn’t selfish it’s a necessity.

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Simple Ways To Manifest Your Dreams

Are you perplexed as to why you seem to get nowhere with the Law of Attraction? You think you’ve done exactly what you’ve been told is the proper way to manifest what you truly desire in your life. Why is it you continue to get more of what you’ve gotten in the past, or have hindrances blocking the way to your goals?

Do You Block Yourself?

The likeliest reason is that you block yourself with old beliefs about why you can’t have what you want. These beliefs come from your distant past frequently. Often you are unaware they are even there, playing the same phrase over and over like a needle stuck in a record. If obstacles continue to hinder your goal, you need to take a harder look at what you believe about receiving that deep desire.

The most common blocks are:

• I’m not smart enough

• I’m not handsome/pretty enough

• Making money is hard work

• We struggle to overcome one problem after another, and then we die

• I’ll get what I want when I get to Heaven

• I’m not creative enough

• I don’t deserve it

• I’m not good enough

• Wanting more money is greedy

• The root of all evil is money

• If I have what I want, other people won’t be able to have their needs met

Fear is another way we create blocks for ourselves. We have plenty of fears surrounding what will happen if we don’t get the the desired result. Yet, there are plenty of fears to go around if we do get what we want.

Your unrecognized fears may look like these:

• I’m too old

• I’m too young

• I’m not educated enough

• I’d make a fool of myself

• I fail and everyone knows it

• I succeed and my friends abandon me because I’m too rich/popular/famous/

• Everyone wants something from me because they think I’m rich

• I’m not good enough

Clear away your mental blocks

Since these mental blocks and fears have been ingrained in your subconscious for a long time their effects are more potent than your efforts to manifest. The thing you need to do first is to recognize them. Take some time and put pen to paper. Write down any memories or teachings you might have about getting what you want.

Now that you brought that awareness to the surface, it’s time to forgive the people who said them or yourself for creating the myths that surrounds them. Clearing away your fears, the myths, and mental blocks is the quickest and best way to make it possible for you to be open to manifesting your dreams.

“Keep your mind fixed on what you want in life: not on what you don’t want.”  -Napoleon Hill

Enable your desires with mental imaging

The technique of creative visualization allows you to manifest your desires into the kind of life you want. Many successful and famous people have used the energy of creative visualization to manifest their dreams and get what they want from life. They have tapped into their own inner power, to turn their dreams into reality.

Visualization does these four things to boost your manifestation energy:

1. It stimulates you to take the essential steps making your desired outcomes     happen. The way you feel when visualizing is the way you always want to feel. This is a hugely motivating factor when it comes time to take action.
   
   

2. It energizes the Law of Attraction. The feelings you conjure up are a magnet for the people, situations, and events leading to your deepest desires, fulfilling themselves in your life.
   
   

3. It fires your creative subconscious. Soon you begin to see opportunities for obtaining your desires through “out of the box” solutions. Suddenly, creative ideas will start popping into your head - ways to solve seemingly insurmountable challenges will become obvious.
   
   

4. It prompts your brain to recognize tools to which you will need access if you are to achieve your dream life. Not only that, but it will keep your brain on the lookout for those tools or people who could supply those tools.

Creative visualization is simple to do:

1. Find a quiet, comfortable place where you will be free of interruptions for a few minutes.

2. Close your eyes and relax.

3. Picture in your mind’s eye the life you want to be living. Imagine interacting with the people and things you want to have in your ideal life. See yourself going about your day, doing the things you want to do.

4. Get as specific as possible. Use your five senses to add more texture to the scene. What do you smell, touch, taste, hear? Add all the little details into your visualization and feel how it will feel to live that life.

5. Enjoy! It’s a real treat to spend time visualizing! And it only takes a few minutes a day to do. Just go with the scene each day and allow it to unfold. It doesn’t have to be exactly the same every time. Just enjoy the feelings and roll with it. Do this at least once daily.
   

   
   Be explicit about what you really want!

Before you can receive, you have to determine what you want. You need to let the Universe know exactly what it is that you deeply desire so that It can provide it for you. But when you begin thinking about what you want, you may find it to be more difficult than you expected. Usually, when someone asks us what we want, we can rattle off all manner of things. This may feel different.

You may resist listing out what you want because it feels greedy. When we live in a society that tells us we must work hard to achieve what we want, it can feel uncomfortable to expect to be able to explain what we want and then prepare to receive it. So how do we get clear about what we want?

You are worthy of your own happiness

First of all, we need to believe we are worthy of our own happiness. The things, people or situations you are seeking are what you believe you need to live your ideal life - to live at your happiest. If you don’t believe you deserve your ideal life, receiving it is going to be almost impossible.

Grab up your journal and write down the things you would like to have or experience in each part of your life. This might be home life, career, friendship, success, creativity, etc. Specificity counts here. For example, instead of saying, “I want a new love in my life,” which is vague, write down all of the qualities you are looking for in a partner. Really go all out. Don’t settle for just what’s okay. Write down exactly what your ideal partner will be like.

When you think you’ve written down everything you can think of, close your eyes and imagine a scene between you and this partner. How do they make you feel? What do you see you doing together? Where are you? Doing this will fill in the gaps of what you really want. Most likely you want a feeling - when you are with the love of your life, you want to feel certain ways. What aspects of a person would make you feel that way? You will be amazed at how many additional things you will add to your list once you spend a little time visualizing your ideal - whatever it is.

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