Is Your Mindset Naturally Active or Passive?

Gram’s wisdom 27

Have you considered how your mindset works for you? Maybe not. Maybe you take it for granted. It’s just the way you think about things, and you haven’t bothered to give it a designation of some kind.  

That’s the way my Gram was. So many of the trendy words we use today would have meant nothing to her. Gram was an eyes and heart wide open person. The epitome of an extrovert, her mind and hands were always busy doing what needed to be done. She may not have called it so, but Gram had an active, engaged mindset.

Until the age of ten, I was terrified of angering anyone, ever. Gram took me aside, saying I could always do or not do a thing if I wanted, not that I always should, but that the choice was mine to make. Then she said, when facing difficulties, the choices are usually the same, to act, to accept what can’t be changed at the moment, or passively do nothing and allow events to roll over me.

Gram was an energetic woman, who was actively grateful, engaged, positive, kind, learning, resilient, and abundant. She was steeped in a fix it or forget it culture. She told me that if you live passively, you will wake one day to find your life has passed you by.

When I accepted this advice, some alterations were made to better fit my introverted nature. Mindsets are not static, or one size fits all, and we all need to make some adjustments.

Would you like to know more about Gram’s mindset? Then read this past post.

Abundance Is Not a Singular Pursuit

Mindset meaning

So, if you didn’t know, your mindset is a person’s way of thinking and their opinions. It is what urges you to take a certain action or nudges you to stop acting on something. It’s a story that you tell yourself about your identity and the world around you. The various types can mean different things to everyone, regarding how and why you think as you do. Remember every mindset has its benefits and drawbacks.

Do you know your mindset?

The number of mindsets that exist is determined by how much you generalize the term. Finding your type is key to your understanding the dynamics of how you operate in every single area of your life. The two primary types of mindsets highlighted here are an Active attitude and a Passive stance. They each have benefits and disadvantages.

If you have a passive mentality, you are inclined to believe that bad things always happen to you and that your future is in the hands of an uncaring fate. You believe that luck is a critical factor for success, or that you aren’t “meant to have XYZ.” You may be hesitant about committing to a position or even disparage your own opinions.

“Nothing happens until something moves.”

— Albert Einstein

Some sub-mindsets of a passive mindset include:

·  Avoid committing

·   Bottle emotions

·   Defers to Others

·   Lack confidence

·   Seeks approval

·   Struggle to make life decisions

Characteristics include:

1.   Accepts unjustified criticism

2.   Desire to keep the peace

3.   Fail to act

4.   Go with the flow

5.   Unable to deal with confrontation

6.   Mirrors the characteristics of others

7.   Say yes to not disappoint others

8.   Self corrects or edits speech

9.   Shirk responsibility

10. Stay trapped in a comfort zone

If you have an active style you believe you have ownership and are in control of your reactions to life. You expect to have favorable responses to your actions. You don’t wait for things to happen to you but seek out and explore new opportunities.

Some sub-mindsets of an active mindset include:

·   Confidence

·   Direction

·   Gratitude

·   Intent

·   Ownership

·   Success

Characteristics include:

1.   Ably change and develop skills

2.   Acceptance of responsibility

3.   Commit to accomplishment and growth

4.   Deal with challenges

5.   Feel empowered

6.   Feel gratitude for what you have

7.   Learn from failure

8.   Make opportunities

9.   Think big and know what you want

Your mindset significance

Those in the “passive” category tend to feel powerless over any ability to influence their established nature while those in the “active” category are far more confident about who is calling the shots concerning their actions.

There are a few other significant differences relative to these two attitudes toward the theory of mindset and how much control any given person has over their own lives.

The primary one being how a person views mistakes or obstacles and the attitude that they foster when the inevitable hindrances arise. For example, those with a passive style are apt to become easily downcast by impediments and are far more likely to “throw in the towel” so to speak at the first setback, whereas those with an active attitude are far more positive in their outlook and choose a more inventive tactic to overcome difficulties.

Given what is already understood about the two opposing approaches to mindset, the passive attitude does not leave much room for growth, learning, or personal prosperity, while the active mentality is the healthier, more constructive option that is most likely to maximize an individual’s success and resulting overall happiness in life.

It is also vital when discussing this topic to consider just how our attitude can affect us other than our ability to develop and flourish and be successful.

For one, there is the knowledge that our mindset can have a major influence on our health and physical well-being, in that a person who tends to consistently be disheartened or depressed is far more likely to have that morose mentality suppress their immune system, which in turn means that those with a passive approach are more prone to illnesses and tend to take longer to recover from whatever ailment to which their pessimistic attitude has subjected them. 

People with an active mindset tend to prioritize themselves both mentally and physically. They may exercise regularly and get more restful sleep, so, they become sick less often and most certainly are inclined to be happier and healthier.

For more information read this post by Claudia Hammond.

How Your Mindset Determines Your Health

Understanding the power of choice

It is generally agreed upon among psychology and other professional experts on the subject that any person ultimately does have control over which mentality they choose to foster, meaning that simply because someone has been functioning with the passive mindset for any part or all their lives, this in no way means that they can’t choose to transform to a far more positive, active approach.

Overall, your mindset matters in all areas of your life, including your physical health no matter what phase of life you are in.

That means that there is hopeful news for those who find themselves mired in the pessimistic passive mentality in that their defeatist attitude toward their accomplishments and success need not be permanent and can always be improved upon.

My final thought

There are countless mindsets in my opinion because we are such multifaceted beings. They are not intrinsically good or bad. It is in our behavior that the benefit or drawback of a particular mindset can be seen. A passive person may feel he always defers to others, but he might always be chosen for the team because he works well with others.

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Influences Of Mindset And Routine For Healthy Aging

How you can expand your mindset as you age

As people grow older, they are often consumed with how their bodies are changing physically. What they don’t pay enough attention to is the state of their minds. While you may notice that your memory is lacking, or that you tend to be more negative and pessimistic, there doesn’t seem to be the same urgent desire to find a remedy.

It’s important to improve your mindset as you grow older so that you can focus on the things that bring you happiness and joy. Here are some mindset ideas that can help.

Begin by letting go

This can be one of the toughest parts of changing your mindset, but it’s also an important one. You must let some things go. If you have a lot of demands in your life that create huge amounts of stress and negative thoughts, it’s time to determine if it’s worth keeping them in your life or not. This could mean you jettison some career demands by delegating certain tasks or saying no to people who ask too much of you.

Or perhaps letting go for you means removing pressure from yourself thus allowing more time to practice self-care.

Look for additional clarity

When you first begin improving your mindset and being a more positive, happy person, it sometimes takes a while to figure out what that means for you. If you are still puzzled about what needs to change in the way you think and understand things in your life, it’s time to find some clarity. If you don’t already, you may want to start a journal for this, since you can write with honesty about anything you are thinking about, and over time, begin observing the patterns of your thoughts. You recognize what your goals are, what you feel like you are missing, and what situations tend to cause your mindset to shift.

Express your gratitude

Being grateful for the blessings in your life is a simple way to begin shifting your mindset. It instantly helps you to think more positively about things and people in your life, and temporarily sets aside your negative thoughts. It’s difficult to think negatively when you are being grateful and thinking about the people in your life who bring blessings and wonderful things.

Your gratitude can be for your job or your home, your pets, people you love, or simple things like how comfy your bed is or that delicious morning cup of coffee.

Positive affirmations

One last tip for improving your mindset as you age is to use positive affirmations. These might seem silly, but when used on a routine basis, they hold a lot of power. A positive affirmation is a thought or phrase that is positive, uplifting, and hopeful. It can help you maintain a good mindset throughout the day.

Positive affirmations might be “I will have a great day” or “I can achieve anything”, but they can also be more specific with something you are dealing with, such as “I am strong enough to accomplish my goals/dreams”.

The value of your daily routine

Daily routines and habits are more popular than ever before, not because they are a new concept, but because of the benefits to your physical health and mental wellbeing. As you age, no matter what age you are now, it becomes even more important to have a daily routine with habits that are designed to keep you healthy and happy. Here are some advantages of having a good daily routine.

Routines stimulate enhanced mental health

You can have a daily routine that allows you to enhance your mental health. For example, you might include a session of meditation or adding mindfulness to your morning or nighttime routine. This helps you reduce stress and can help with mental health disorders like anxiety or depression. Remember that your mental health can decline rapidly if you aren’t vigilant.

You live a healthier lifestyle

When you maintain a set routine with habits you participate in daily, it can help balance out your life and ensure you are living a healthy lifestyle. Many people choose to add certain activities that help them improve their health, such as cooking breakfast, doing yoga in the morning, writing in their journal, or having a nighttime routine that allow them to get better sleep.

To be a healthy older adult, you need to begin immediately, regardless of your age at present.

Balanced living is happier

With a daily routine, you can concentrate more on balance in your life. It helps you to schedule certain events and activities along with your responsibilities. You decide what your priorities are. Making time for reading, relaxing, creative activities, getting enough exercise, and eating right. In other words, doing everything you need to do to improve your health and wellness.

Routines that increase your sleep

Sleep is crucial for everyone, but unfortunately, older adults find that they have more difficulty sleeping. There is a joke that older adults often sleep only a few hours a night, or that they wake up early for the “Early bird special”, but this isn’t because as you age, you need less sleep. It is more that you have a tougher time sleeping soundly throughout the night.

If you have a daily routine that includes exercise as well as a restful and relaxing nighttime routine, it helps a lot to increase your quality of sleep.

My final thought

We live at a time where most of us have access to the information we need to be healthy agers. It is up to us to use it or not. As for me, I do my best every day to stay healthy and to be happy. Shouldn’t you?

Thank you for reading this post. I hope you enjoyed it and will share it with the people you care about.

Healthy Aging, Do What Makes You Happy

Gram’s Wisdom 26 Choose the things that make you happy

I never knew a time when my gram wasn’t actively doing something. 

Gram hadn’t been a stay-at-home mom. She had been the breadwinner for her family of six children during the depression and was still employed outside the home all the years of my childhood.

We would go shopping and to the movies. She loved music and always had the radio on in the kitchen. It provided the perfect background to the cooking lessons she would give me.

Gram loved to travel and would get on a plane at the drop of a hat. She took her last trip alone at 96 to visit an uncle.

You can enjoy your life at any age, so don’t let the fact that you are middle-aged or a senior adult, keep you from the activities you want to pursue. Choosing things you love to do helps keep you active and brings a lot of happiness into your life.

Did you have favorite pastimes you can take up again?

What are some activities you used to love doing but haven’t done in a while? Think about what you used to find a lot of joy in, such as crafts, watching certain types of movies, a form of exercise, going to a certain fun place in your area, or spending time with people you haven’t seen in a while. Even if you can’t do the exact activity, it might lead you in the right direction. For example, if you used to knit a lot, but have stopped because of arthritis, it at least tells you that your soul might be missing a creative activity or a type of craft. Think of some other similar activities that won’t hurt your hands as much, but still bring you a similar emotion.

What have you always wanted to do?

Another way to find new activities for your mental and physical health as you age is to consider what you have never done before but always wanted to try. You of course want to consider any limitations you currently have, but I bet there are many activities you can get involved in that you will fall in love with and are brand new to you.

This might be going on a hike with a friend, trying indoor mountain climbing, or learning a new craft or hobby. Maybe you have always wanted to teach someone your favorite hobby or mentor people in your skillset. There is no better time than now!

What about a bucket list?

This probably isn’t the first time you have heard the term “bucket list”, but if you have never had one, nor focused much on the one you already have, there has never been a better time to revisit the idea. A bucket list is simply a list of things you want to accomplish in your life. These can be places you want to visit, friends you want to catch up with, interests you want to pursue, or things you want to accomplish in your life.

Everyone has a different bucket list and a different reason for having one. As you age and into your later years, it is a great idea to work on your bucket list. It helps you to focus on your goals, expand the fulfillment in your life, and enjoy life for what it is.

Begin with your passions

To start working on your bucket list, think about what your passions are. What activities bring you the most joy? What do you turn to when you have a day off to do what you want? What is your favorite form of self-care?

The answers to these types of questions usually lead to your biggest passions in life. Maybe when you have a weekend off, you enjoy going on a road trip because you love to travel. Or you are someone who enjoys having family over whenever you get the chance. Or maybe your favorite activities are creative ones, like drawing, writing, or creating something at home.

Think about your passions, then think of what aligns with them, that you have always wanted to do, but haven’t had the opportunity yet.

Don’t put it off any longer

This is the easiest way to start working on your bucket list. Think of things big and small that have been on your “life bucket list” that you haven’t yet done. Maybe there is a place you want to travel to, an activity like skydiving or scuba diving you always wanted to try, or a local event you seem to miss every time, that you want to make a point to go to.

Your bucket list is personal to you and may include a wide range of things as small as books you want to read, to big things like owning your first house or buying a new car.

How to begin crossing items off

Once you have collected a list of things you want to do, begin figuring out what you can do soon, and what will take more planning to accomplish. This might include some type of research, saving money for a trip, or finding a friend to do a certain activity with you. Pin your list to your wall, put it in your planner, and focus on crossing items off your list.

My final thought

Gram and I were fortunate that in her last years we became best friends. Like any best friends, we shared a similar love of music and attended concerts together. I bought CD’s for us to listen to. We watched our favorite movies together on Friday nights. I cooked the meals she loved that she had prepared for me, many years ago. We read some of the same books so that we could discuss them. I don’t know if these were on her bucket list, but they were certainly on mine.

I hope you enjoyed this post. Please share it with your family and friends.

Healthy Mind And Body Habits Increases Happiness

Improve your overall health

When you are improving your daily routine to be happier and more fulfilled as you age, you must consider your mental health. From reducing stress to changing your mindset, your mental health should be given just as much care as you give your physical health.

Consider adding these daily habits to your routine for improved mental health.

Healthy stress relief

Stress affects everyone at any age, but it can take an even bigger toll on you as you age. Stress affects your mental health just as much as your physical health, so you must get a handle on it right now. You should add some stress-relieving pursuits to your normal routine.

Several ideas for activities include:

·         Yoga or another form of exercise in the morning

·         Writing in a journal

·         Reading your favorite kind of book

·         Finding a relaxing hobby that takes your mind off your stress

·         Spending time with loved ones

Don’t isolate yourself 

It seems easy to stay indoors and keep to yourself as much as possible, especially if your mental health is struggling, but this makes it even more important that you socialize. Even if that means inviting people over to your home where you feel comfortable or meeting once a week with a friend to have coffee. You need to get out of your normal surroundings. This can help with anxiety, stress, and depression. It helps you to build a solid foundation and gives you a healthy thing to add to your routine.

Combine activity and engagement

While exercise and staying active is great for your physical health, including maintaining good cardiovascular health and even preventing certain diseases, it is also amazing for your mental health. With simple exercises like yoga or walking, you can boost your endorphins to put you in a better mood, give you more energy, and help relieve anxiety.

An active lifestyle and engaged mindset will ensure you are doing everything you can for both your body and your mind. This is going to help a lot with happy, healthy aging.

Have a helpful mental and emotional support system

Lastly, you want to have a helpful support system in your life for your mental and emotional health. This can be different for different people, but it might include having a counselor or therapist, a close group of friends you can spend time with when you need to, or a relative who understands your mental health issues and is always receptive to your needs.

Improving your physical health

It’s an uphill battle to improve your mental health if you’re physically a wreck. Your mind and body are made to work well together, however, the breakdown of one can lead to the breakdown of the other.

Introduce these habits into your routine to help improve your physical health as you age.

Eat nutritious, balanced meals

I know, I know. You need to watch what you eat. It seems that everyone is on some kind of diet these days. But this isn’t a strict diet where you are cutting out entire food groups or trying to eat a diet of kale and salmon. While those are healthy choices, eating a balanced diet is more about what you add in, not what you take out.

Start by making small changes. Adding in more fruits and vegetables, whole grains, dairy, lean protein, and drinking lots of water. When you eat a nutritious diet, you stay healthy and can help reduce the risk of certain age-related diseases.

Add movement into your life as frequently as you’re able

For your physical health, you also want to get routine exercise. Again, you don’t need to put too much pressure on yourself to spend hours at the gym or run a marathon. Regular exercise a few days a week is all that is necessary unless you have more specific fitness goals.

Consider forms of physical activity that you enjoy and will make you happy. You should be excited about your exercise, not dread it. For you, this might mean a yoga class with your friends, going for a walk or riding a bicycle, or doing workouts at home on your treadmill or with a kettlebell.

Emphasize preventive care

Remember that a lot of your physical health comes down to what you do before you get diseases or become unhealthy as an older adult. Emphasizing preventive care is crucial, so even if you’re perfectly healthy now, you still need regular doctor visits.

Your doctor can typically discover things earlier, which allow you to get proper treatment and make needed adjustments to your lifestyle. This will improve your health, and ultimately your happiness as you age.

My final thought

I am happily moving forward into some of my best years. The reasons for this are the healthy mind and body that have reliably carried me through many years. I am strong, my mind is clear, and I haven’t even had a cold in more than 5 years. From the time I was a young girl, my Gram reminded me often that your health is your wealth. It’s not too late to begin making your improvements, to have happy, healthy aging.

I hope you liked this post and will share it with your family and friends.

Pandemic Prompts For Your Grandparents Journal

This post is a direct result of the jump in numbers of a past post.  A kind of addendum if you please. So, if you choose not to read this don’t worry. I will be back next week with something along the usual lines.  

Are you getting along with your pandemic?

You see, here’s the thing, this pandemic is not the same for all of us. It neither treats us all the same nor do we react to it in the same manner. What does appear to be similar is we are all missing someone or something.

Who are you missing?

Everyone I know misses someone. I see it when I go to the grocery store. People talk to strangers behind a mask as if they are long lost friends, I miss my grandson Nathanial. This brings me to my real focus. Ideas you may want to integrate into your Grandparent’s Journal. I will place the link at the end of this post to one I wrote in October 2019 giving how and why reasons for you to leave a journal for your grandchildren.

What do you miss?

Out of the home entertainments and activities being considered unsafe at this time find many people spending their time differently than they had in the past. For some, new hobbies are coping mechanisms to battle the loneliness they feel. While others see this time as their chance to take up something, they may have felt they hadn’t the time to do until now.

“Love is the greatest gift that one generation can leave to another.”

— Richard Garnett

Leave your thoughts behind.

When this situation has finally become a thing of the past, there is no doubt that one of the questions people will want to know from one another, is “what did you do to pass the time?”

I had asked my Gram about the Spanish Flu pandemic. She was a young girl of 10-12 years old then. But she had no real answers for me other than they were lucky. They lived out in the country and seldom saw anyone.

So, I thought about some of the questions I should have asked her and turned them into journal prompts. These will make an interesting addition to your Grandparents Journal or to the journal you keep for yourself.

10 Pandemic prompts.

1 | How has the pandemic altered my day-to-day life?

2 | How has the pandemic changed the way I work?

3 | What has become more difficult to do now?

4 | What has become easier to do now?

5 | What do I miss the most due to the pandemic?

6 | What do I miss the least due to the pandemic?

7 | I have begun a new hobby and it is ______.

8 | How has the pandemic changed the people in my life?

9 | What precautions have I taken in my environment to keep myself safe?

10 | What am I grateful for, especially in these abnormal circumstances?

My final thought

I hope to come out on the other side of this pandemic and like my Gram I want to feel able to say, we were fortunate. In the meantime, some of the silly or seemingly insignificant things that get left out of the phone calls to my grandson have been included in my grandparent’s journal.

Here is the link to What Is A Grandparent’s Journal

I hope you enjoyed this short post. Please share it with your family and friends.

Surround Yourself With Harmonious People

Acceptance

Everyone wants to be accepted just the way they are. Open-mindedness is essential among all people because we’re all different. Focusing on the commonalities we have while acknowledging our differences can allow us to meet each other harmoniously.

Familial relationships

These are usually the most important relationships we have and just as often the ones most fraught with the potential for hurt feelings or other painful complications. Disharmony with the people you care for most in the world is one of the quickest ways to put you out of sorts and ruin what may have been a peaceful day.

To live in harmony with these especially important people that we see at the breakfast or dinner table each day is a matter of self-interest. No one wants to live in icy silence for any length of time. It’s up to you to be the one who adjusts when necessary. Why you may ask?

The simple answer is that they may not care as much as you do about the harmony in their lives. Remember ultimately you are doing this for your peace. This is your chance to be both the teacher and the student.

Hopefully, if they are on the same page, they too are striving for harmony and will willingly meet you halfway.

Friendships

If you have a handful of people you can call “friends” then you are blessed. Many people come into your life and leave after a while. That is normal and natural. The few who remain and withstand time and difficulties become like a second family. Any disharmony with them can become a major pain-point in both of your lives.

Again, it must be you who works to maintain the harmony in that relationship. Often this involves encouragement, forbearance, or forgiveness. Yes, we all must live our own lives, but most of us are not equipped to do it alone.

So, you need to be worthy of this friend because you know the loss of this friendship can be a massive hole in your life and disrupt the overall harmony you want to experience.

Harmony with others begins with yourself.

Negativity is the enemy here, as in most things. You won’t find harmony in your life by being inconsiderate, rude, selfish, irritable, unscrupulous, or insincere. This kind of behavior brings only strife and keeps the people you want to be close to at bay.

Instead, surround yourself with harmonious thoughts and things that bring you peace. Reduce your negative aspects. Create a harmonious ritual for yourself. Keep it simple. Share it with others.

Do good deeds selflessly.

This is perhaps the most perfect harmony circle. When you do things for others without a thought for yourself, the depth of good feeling you receive is nearly indescribable.  

My final thought

Look for the blessings in your life rather than the problems. Be grateful for them. Say them aloud and write them down. I believe we should be respectful of all beings in the world. We don’t live in a vacuum, our world is a connection of intersecting pieces in a universal whole. It all needs to be cherished if we are to truly live harmoniously.

I sincerely hope you will share this post with your family and friends.

Finding Harmony Within The Stillness

Gram’s Wisdom 25: Internal harmony

As a teenager, I fell prey to the feeling that I’d be missing out on something if I didn’t have a school and social calendar with every moment filled. Unfortunately, what I felt was frazzled and drained. Nothing was fun

My Gram took me to task when she noticed I was burning the candle at both ends. First, she told me that I was out of harmony with my personality. Second, she said that doing too much didn’t allow me time to appreciate any one thing.  

Gram and I discussed the necessity of being still and listening to that inner voice that we all have. She told me that if I quietly listened this would be the place from which I could make my decisions and find internal harmony.

I bet you probably have friends and family who are always rushing about and complaining about their lack of alone time. Perhaps they don't even say anything about it because this is the way they have always been, and it seems normal to them. Every moment, they're busy. Maybe you're one of them.

If you examine the lives of overly busy people, you'll probably find that they're not contented, happy people. There's always much to do and so little time. Their lives are often out of sync. Perhaps you're reading this because you feel in a hurry yourself. Do whatever it takes to slow down and reap the benefits of being still.

Harmony is found in the quiet of mind and body

Gram said to me “You can be quiet in body and quiet in mind. Both are important.”  Being still physically saves you much energy and effort. You feel less depleted by the end of the day. Mental quietness has a similar effect on your psychological, intellectual, and emotional energy.

All you must do to achieve stillness of body is to finish your chores and then relax. Even while you complete your tasks, you can conserve energy by using little movement. If you batch similar tasks or confine yourself to tasks in a small area you use less energy.

The stillness of the mind is trickier to achieve. However, this kind of quietness is more crucial to your overall contentment because it also brings inner harmony. 

How do you feel when you get some shocking news? How about when you finally reach your target at work, win an award, or find yourself suddenly in a crisis? You feel a rush of adrenaline and you're off, letting off steam in a gush of emotion, words, or action.

So, if this is such an instinctive response to big changes, why do you need to nurture stillness? When you're in the middle, when you're centered, you can see both ends of the spectrum.

When you refrain from extreme reactions, you can regulate your response to the situation. You can be unbiased. Most importantly, you can learn from your circumstances and use them for self-development.

From another perspective, when you've adopted internal quietness, you're less likely to face extreme highs and lows.

These tips can aid your development of a still mind:

1.  Stop. In an extreme situation, pull away from the circumstance for a moment. Take a deep breath before you react. You are the silent watcher of your thoughts and behavior

2.  Listen. Listen carefully to what's being said. If your mind jumps the gun with words you feel compelled to speak, bring it back to the moment. Return your attention to what the other is saying.

3.  Think. Consider why you're facing the situation. Did you play a part in creating it? Is the other simply mirroring you? What lesson can you learn from this circumstance?

If you take these steps, you'll be able to avoid overreacting or reacting negatively in haste. This means your response, when it does come, will be the right one for the circumstances and you.

 The value of silence to harmony

Another way to develop mental stillness is to practice silence. Speak only when necessary. Speak only when you have something important to say or something that will help the other. Stillness speaks, be the presence that listens.

Before you speak, examine your motivation for saying what you want to say. Is it to further the welfare of the other? Or is it to praise yourself or prove that you're right and the other wrong? A need to always seem right is the basis of many conflicts.

Moreover, when you're normally silent, your words have more impact. People pay attention when you speak.

As you work toward greater self-awareness, try developing internal stillness and inner harmony. Just follow these guidelines as a start. As you practice, you'll receive many rewards.

My final thought

I won’t say finding inner harmony is easy. It’s probably one of the more difficult things to achieve for yourself and one of the most beneficial. Though Gram and I always had a great rapport, I fought her on this. I was a know-it-all teen, so sue me. But the habit of a lifetime kicked in and I began to explore the idea. For nearly fifty years I have been grateful I did. Inner harmony brings happiness and peace that outer circumstances can’t take from you.

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Make Room For Harmony In Your Life

Harmony, Isn’t About Doing All The Things

What do you imagine when you hear the word HARMONY? I looked it up in my Webster’s Dictionary. One of the definitions describes it as a “pleasing or congruent arrangement of parts.”

So many people believe harmony is all peace and life falling into place just the way it’s supposed to do. Except when it doesn’t, and then you fight an overwhelming tide rather than go with the flow of the universe.

Think again about that definition. Face it. What pleases isn’t always congruent with the parts and what is congruent with the parts isn’t always pleasing.

So, what small changes can you implement that will create a more harmonious life?

 Slow down

Are you trying to do too much? Can you become a billionaire, marry the man of the year, have a happy family, be a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, and raise champion Corgis? Will doing all the things add harmony rather than chaos to your life? Probably not. But I bet you already knew that.

Sure, there’s a lot you can do, but there’s a lot you can’t do, too. Whatever you do there is a cost. This is real life we’re talking about. However, you can have a lot, and it can be harmonious.

Take a quick look at why you can’t do it all

1.  There’s a limited amount of available time.

You can’t have everything; you can’t do everything necessary to have everything. Everything you do requires time.

● Getting and maintaining the perfect abs takes time.

● Becoming a great chess player takes time.

● Building a billion-dollar company takes time.

● Creating and maintaining a successful relationship takes time.

● Being an expert figure skater takes time.

● Writing a great book takes time.

● Creating harmony takes time and is best achieved in the present moment. What do you want the most?

2.  Some things don’t play well together.

You can’t become the world’s greatest pick-up artist and be married. You can’t be the strongest woman in the world and be healthy while yo-yo dieting. You can’t live like a playboy and maximize your spiritual development.

● Certain activities just get in the way of other activities.

3. Emphasis on one thing leads to sacrificing others.

Time spent on one area of your life leaves less time for other areas of your life. There are always sacrifices to be made. Balance in life is, well, a balancing act.

Harmony, what it takes to have a lot

1. Choose your priorities.

Since there isn’t time to do everything, it becomes necessary to prioritize your time and actions. Accept that things will change when you do this. Consider the most important things you want to have.

2.Determine what you’re willing to let go of.

Prioritizing doesn’t just mean choosing what’s important. It also means deciding what you’re not going to spend time on anymore. That could be the negative inner talk that no longer serves you.

● Maybe writing that novel isn’t that important to you. Or maybe beating yourself up isn’t the best use of your time. If that’s the case, make it a point to avoid those activities.

3. Assign your time accordingly.

Once you know your priorities, use your time accordingly. If you’re ever confused about what to do, remind yourself of your priorities. Ask yourself how you can best use your time according to your priorities.

The idea that you can do everything you want isn’t true. It’s something motivational speakers and your mother told you to make you feel better. You can’t do it all. Especially if you want a harmonious life that brings you happiness rather than a life trying to do all the things that leave you feeling overwhelmed.

But you can still manage to do and have a lot. Having a lot means prioritizing how you spend your time. Wasting time is the ultimate way to limit yourself. Spreading yourself thin between too many things is also detrimental.

Always remember–you can have a lot! What do you want? Keep these ideas in mind and make it happen!

My final thought

I have lived a harmonious life filled with peace, love, laughter, joy, and happiness for forty years. Not every day but more days than not. I believe the secret is to choose what is most important to you and add any congruent parts that show up, as you go along.

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