An Opportunity To Push Back At Accepted Wisdom

Why is it so darned wrong to stay in our comfort zone?

Okay. So, I’m shamelessly going to take this opportunity to weigh in on a piece of accepted wisdom that, I don’t know about you, but I get so blasted tired of hearing from people. “You need to get out of your comfort zone,” is shouted at us everywhere.

Why do we stay in our comfort zone? Because our comfort zone is the stress-free zone (this is what I call my home) we are used to. It’s what’s familiar. It’s also the place where we are told we find the most dissatisfaction with our life.

Reliance on your comfort zone

But isn’t it also the place where our valuable routines live? How many of us depend on a morning and an evening routine? Not to mention the mundane but necessary chores of a busy household. Knowing whose turn, it is to feed and walk the dog, removes stress from everyone including the dog.

The same thing goes for our working life. Our workflows, planners, and calendars are comforting. They give us a path to follow, without which, we would waste a lot of valuable time that could be used to tackle additional or more creative projects.  

We are told, when we stay in our comfort zone, we force ourselves to remain stagnant. We’re afraid to change out of fear of facing the unknown. Not always, sometimes we are just catching our breath. Sometimes a calm face shown to the world is advantageous before you bring on the next big thing.

“Your big opportunity may be right where you are now.”

— Napoleon Hill

Recognizing when it’s time for a change  

Staying too long in a comfort zone that no longer serves you can be problematic as well. Especially if you don’t, won’t or can’t recognize that it’s time to change.

These 8 reasons are good possibilities if you want to change your comfort zone.

1.    You’re not reaching your goal. Stay in your comfort zone too long, and you are less likely to follow through on reaching your goal. Your fear, procrastination, or any other excuse you use keeps you from acting on your goal.

2.    Absence of growth. Rigidly remaining in your comfort zone will likely keep you from growing into more than you are right now. You’ll always be stuck, never moving forward and never growing and changing. You may end up not reaching your goals because you’re stuck doing things the way you’ve always done them, even though you don’t see any results. You never step out of your comfort zone to explore what you’re capable of doing or what you could accomplish.

3.    Lost or no passion. Staying in your comfort zone makes it hard for you to discover your passion. Your passion can only be found out of your comfort zone.

4.    You may feel left behind. If you stay in your comfort zone you could feel like you are being left behind by your colleagues and others you relate to. They might have been behind you in terms of your life or career at one time, but because they stepped away from their comfort zone, they have passed you by.

5.    Settling for less. By continuing to live in your comfort zone, you allow yourself to settle for less than you deserve. You put the things you love aside believing you don’t need them or deserve them.

6.    What self-confidence you have may lag. If you don’t move out of your comfort zone, you aren’t building the confidence you need to expand your growth and undertake new challenges.

7.    Your health can suffer. Sometimes when you are not getting out of your comfort zone you might also be neglecting your health. It can be from fear of visiting the doctor, not wanting to alter your routines, avoidance of going to the gym for some reason such as being looked at or trying something different.

8.    You simply hate changes. You are unbending and set in your ways. Your comfort zone is exactly that. Life can be tough enough, throwing all kinds of things at you. Things can happen that will pull you out of your comfort zone even if you don’t want them to. But remaining in your comfort zone keeps you from being open to new possibilities.

My final thoughts

I believe we have many reasons why we stay in any given comfort zone. Most are beneficial and work for us if we have crafted them with care for our own needs. The trick is knowing when that is no longer the case and letting it go so you can develop a new zone of comfort. Staying in your zone may feel comfortable but it’s unfair to limit yourself or to settle for what is merely adequate.

At the time of this post, most of us are in sheltering mode due to the Corona Virus. Our comfort zone is our refuge. Allow yourself changes to accommodate a new normal. Our homes should feel like havens not, prisons.

 I hope you have enjoyed this post. If so, please leave me a comment.

How Your Mindset Influences Self-Discipline

Mindset influences on people

According to Stanford University psychologist and researcher, Carol S. Dweck, there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who have a fixed mindset and those with a growth mindset. Let’s delve into how your mindset influences self-discipline.

Look at the difference between fixed and growth mindsets?

People with fixed mindsets believe their characteristics, traits, and skill-sets are set in stone and, therefore, can’t be changed. They are more likely to attribute success to natural talent and feel strongly about – and proud of – their current level of perceived brilliance, skill, or brainpower, rather than looking for improvements through hard work and focus.

People having growth mindsets, quite to the contrary, assume that talent, skill, and intelligence are changeable and can grow with practice, learning, and hard work. They acknowledge that wherever they stand, there is always room for improvement. They view success as attainable regardless of the starting point. No aspiration is too large.

Your fixed mindset can be the bane of self-discipline

If you follow Dweck’s model, it’s easy to see how a fixed mindset is the enemy of self-discipline. Let’s say, for example, that you want to lose weight. Maybe you compare yourself to a very slim or physically fit friend.

What if you hear this friend say things such as “I’ve always been small,” “I have a fast metabolism,” and “No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to gain weight!” This person seems to eat and drink whatever they want, never exercise (as far as you know) and look fantastic. While you, on the other hand, can’t seem to lose weight no matter what.

You conclude that you “just have a slow metabolism,” “accept that you’re probably not meant to be any smaller,” and believe it’s beyond your power to make the change you desire.

The truth is that your fixed beliefs are holding you back from reaching your goals, nothing more. Your fixed mindset robs you of your power. It puts space between you and the idea that although it may take more effort than you’re accustomed to, you can change if you choose.

It's all about perspective. More often than not, people who’ve achieved results you only dream of have generally put in much more work and effort behind the scenes than is evident on the outside. They just don’t talk about it.

Think about “overnight celebrity.” Tales of people who seemingly come out of nowhere to instant stardom. You’ve never heard of them before, then suddenly you see them everywhere and they make it look so easy. Yet, when you look at their past, you find that they’ve been working extremely hard for years, finally had a big break, and now are reaping the benefits of the seeds they’d been sewing for years.

A fixed mindset is often closed to ideas of hard work, patience, determination, persistence, trial, and error, and learning as you go. Yet, these are the exact traits that self-discipline is all about.

“Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Having a growth mindset makes self-discipline unavoidable

Just as a fixed mindset is the enemy of self-discipline, a growth mindset supercharges self-discipline and positions it as the top tool in your goal-setting toolbox.

Let’s return to our example of weight loss, assuming a growth mindset this time. What changes?

Well, first of all, you acknowledge that you may have struggled with your weight in the past, but you decide that it has no bearing on your future. You’re positive you can change.

If you do think you “have a slow metabolism,” rather than assume it’s preventing you from losing weight, you’ll go to the doctor, have some tests run, and gain concrete evidence of such and recommendations for how to improve the situation.

Furthermore, you educate yourself on healthy, sustainable weight loss methods, taking your lifestyle, preferences, and limitations into consideration. You realize that the process may take some time, and it won’t always be fun, yet you’re aware of why you want to lose weight in the first place, commit to the goal and believe that with time, focus and determination, you can make it happen.

What is your mindset?  

In ‘Mindset: The New Psychology of Success’, Dweck explains that it’s common to have a fixed mindset in some areas and a growth mindset in others.

If you’re naturally introverted and more on the shy side, you may have low confidence in social situations. Yet a growth mindset may push you to step outside your comfort zone and go to events where you’ll meet new people and try new things. On the other hand, since you’ve always been shy, perhaps you spent lots of time reading books and studying as a younger person, thus effortlessly achieving academic success. You may consider yourself “naturally smart” and have a fixed mindset in this area.

How to change your mindset

Taking the first step to improving your self-discipline is to become self-aware. If you examine your personality and find that you have a fixed mindset, understand that you can change. Dweck explains, “Mindsets are just beliefs. They're powerful beliefs, but they're just something in your mind, and you can change your mind.”

My final thought

I believe that most of us have some fixed and some growth mindset traits. I also believe that whatever mindset traits make up your majority is fine. You are in control of your mindset and the changes you make.   

Thank You for reading this post. I hope you will share it with your family and friends.

You’re As Strong As You Believe You Are

Gram’s Wisdom 15: Tough both inside and out

My Gram was one of the toughest people I have ever known. Both mentally and physically she radiated strength. I knew I could ask her anything and get a straight answer or I could lean on her when I was weary. All my young life she was teaching me something daily. I got, “this is how you do it lessons” for what I believe she thought were the practicalities of life.

But the older I get the more I appreciate those lessons I learned through my observation. Many of them left a strong impression on my behavior then and continue to shape how I live my life today. Although I consider myself to be strong, I don’t believe I can hold a candle to the strong woman my Gram was.

What I have learned about mental strength 

So many people aren’t as emotionally strong as they wish they were. Our lack of belief in our strength is a huge limiting factor in our lives. If we were a little tougher mentally, we’d be willing to try more, and consequently, we’d accomplish more.

Every obstacle we meet is less likely to be thought insurmountable if we believe we possess a high degree of inner strength.

It’s not necessary to be born mentally tough. You can develop this quality in yourself.

Increase your inner strength and overcome obstacles using these skills

1| Up-level yourself physically.

Inner strength is easier to get if you’re strong in other ways, too

2| Don’t forget body and mind together.

Suffering through a challenging workout is a great way to build your mind and body at the same time. With a strong mind, body, connection, you become unstoppable.

3| Develop your ability to focus.

Inner strength is the ability to focus on what needs to be done regardless of the circumstances. You can’t just decide to focus and suddenly be good at it. You’ve spent a lifetime distracting yourself. It takes time to learn the habit of focusing well for extended periods of time.

4| Be attentive to what you’re doing.

When your attention drifts away, bring it back. Continue to do that until you’re good at focusing.

5| Meditation is another powerful way to learn how to focus.

A daily meditation practice is worth considering if you’re serious about increasing your inner strength.

6| Do something uncomfortable.

You can take a cold shower. Do yard work. Walk up to strangers and begin a conversation. Sing in front of your friends. Dye your hair pink and go grocery shopping. Learning to deal with discomfort is an important part of inner strength.

7| Do tough or difficult things.

Climb a mountain. Run a marathon. Write an entire book. Go an entire day without speaking. Wake up an hour earlier for the next month. Learn a new language. Memorize The Charge of The Light Brigade or your favorite poem.

“It’s worth remembering that the time of greatest gains in terms of wisdom and inner strength is often that of greatest difficulty.”

— Dalai Lama

8| Decide quickly.

Make rapid decisions. It’s weak to postpone making decisions just because you don’t want to take responsibility for your life. Be responsible but make up your mind and own your decisions. Take responsibility for your life.

9| Act on a regular basis.

It’s not enough to decide. You must do something, too. Avoid falling into the procrastination trap of spending too much time researching and planning. Those with inner strength act decisively.

10| What are your past accomplishments?

Remind yourself that you’ve accomplished some impressive things. You’ve overcome obstacles. Also remember that you’re tougher than you thought. Relive those past successes and the obstacles you overcame.

11| Describe your attitude.

Tough, positive, action-oriented, persistent, diligent, committed, aggressive, disciplined. Are these words you would use to describe yourself? How about attaching “I am” at the beginning of each word and turning them into your daily affirmations. What other qualities do you think someone with inner strength possesses?

12| Surround yourself with like-minded people.

You’re stronger when you surround yourself with strong, supportive people. Negative people will sap your inner strength. Weak people will do the same thing. Surround yourself with the right people, and you’ll be better for it.

My final thought

How tough are you? Are you the toughest person you know? If not, you have some work to do. A lack of inner strength is very limiting. Imagine how much more you would do if you could double your inner strength!

You can become mentally stronger if you’re willing to take the appropriate steps. Your stronger self is waiting for you, so do it now!

I sincerely hope you like this post and will share it with the people you love.

The Restorative Value Of Mindfulness

Add mindfulness/presence into your life with nature

Are you longing for a little more mindfulness in your life, but find yourself unsure where to begin? I suggest you connect with nature it feels wonderful. It’s restorative to mind, body, and spirit while allowing you to step outside the business of life for a while and breathe deeply.

You have so many demands on your time each day, work, study, family, that carving out some nature time rarely makes the to-do list. The great news is that you don’t need to commit to a marathon hike in the mountains or woods to visit with nature. It can be a fast, restorative boost that’s easy to coordinate into your day.

Give one of these mindfulness suggestions a try to get a quick nature fix.

A | Feel nature

One of the easiest ways to reconnect with Mother Nature is to remove your shoes and wiggle your toes in the grass. Any grass will do, whether it’s your back yard or a nearby park. Notice the warmth or the coolness of the grass.

Choose to spend your lunch break in the park, rest your eyes on the soft greens and feel the textures of grass, tree trunks, and leaves, in your hands or toes.

B | Garden where you are able

The scent and feel of newly turned earth are magical properties. Nothing connects you faster to the rhythms and energy of the natural world than working in a garden. It doesn’t matter if your garden is a traditional lawn and garden plot, a communal vegetable garden, or your favorite herbs in pots on the windowsill.

Even a potted plant or flowers on your desk will change the energy levels and make you feel good.

C | The sky is the limit

Practice daily the habit of looking up at the sky. Look out of your window, see what kind of clouds there are, the direction they are traveling and the position of the sun. Use all your senses to be aware of what’s happening in nature right now. Are there birds singing? Are they making nests? What color are the leaves on the trees? What’s flowering right now? How does the air feel on your skin?

You can ‘read’ the environment through your senses – you need only to pay attention.

D | Walk with presence

As you walk down the street, is your mind already in your next interview or worrying about how the last meeting went? So many people spend their lives in their heads, unaware of the world around them or how they are moving through it. They commonly complain of how life seems to just pass them by.

The Buddhist teacher and philosopher Thich Nat Hanh reminds us to slow down and be fully present in the world. One of his best-loved sayings bids you to “Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.” It takes just a small but meaningful mental shift to stay connected to the earth and nature with every step.

My final thought

The restorative effects of mindfulness in your life are far-reaching. Once you take the time to be mindful of the natural world around you, your senses become increasingly more in harmony with nature. The boost of harmony will be evident also when you are more present in the lives of others.

I hope you enjoyed this post and will recommend it to your family and friends.

You may want to look at this previous post on mindfulness:

How Mindfulness Helps You Enjoy The Journey

How to Help the Universe Manifest Your Blessing?

Allow the universe to manifest your blessing

Before the universe can manifest, what you’ve asked for, it’s up to you to explain exactly what that is. Some people find that visualization of their dreams or desires to be a powerful tool for clarifying what they want. Others use mood boards, while many use the spoken or written word in the form of affirmations. You will be best served when you use the method that suits you.

Why? The better you understand and describe your desire the easier it will be for the universe to assist you in the realization of it.  

Let’s try scripting

When you’re scripting, you can write your script on paper as individual notes or in a journal, or type it on a computer using your favorite note-taking app. The style and form don’t matter. It’s the substance that counts. Don’t worry over every word or phrase. Script from your heart and allow the universe to understand your intention.

These 5 steps can help train you to script

1.  Be specific

Before you write your script, ask yourself what your intentions are. Your understanding of your desire is necessary, if you don’t know what it is, you won’t be able to ask the universe to fulfill it. Vague requests are difficult for the universe to answer.  Your spirit knows what you need, listen to your inner voice.

Asking the universe to be a nicer person is too vague. And asking to smile more is a subjective request. Be clear in your intention by specifying exactly what you want, like smiling and saying a kind word to strangers. Giving the universe a clear request helps you focus on your manifestation

2. What is your reason?

Why do you want this blessing? What are you trying to achieve? Your intention should be clear when you script. How will granting your desire allow the universe to help you?  Knowing the reason, you want something is as important as knowing what you want. Use caution here because blessings are meant to be beneficial, not hurt. If you don’t understand why you want something, you may not be asking the universe for a blessing that will help you.

“Manifestation blossoms when we turn down or tune out doubtful noise.”

— T.F. Hodge

3.  Allow the feeling to wash over you

Scripting takes your desires and makes them manifest by allowing you to feel the blessing. Let your spirit see you with your blessing and ask yourself how it feels to have it. What is your life like now that you have received this gift? The idea of scripting is to put into words what it is like to be blessed.

Consider how this blessing changes your life.

You should feel positive, empowered, and whole. If you don’t feel right having this blessing, you may be letting negative thoughts and emotions cloud your request. If scripting your blessing isn’t bringing you peace and happiness, go back and redefine the clarity and why of your intention

4.  Can you believe it?

If you’re scripting that you smile and say a kind word to strangers, consider the possible benefits. Manifestation makes the impossible, possible, but it doesn’t supplant reality.  Your script needs to be believable for the universe to grant your blessing.

Smiling and saying a kind word to strangers will not automatically make you the boss at your job, Mayor of the city, or a superstar. Keep your scripting believable. You may desire this blessing so you can meet a new friend or partner. Perhaps you want to bring more joy into your life by showing kindness to strangers. Realistic and believable outcomes are the foundation of scripting your manifestation.

5.  Gratitude for your blessings

Once you’ve scripted your new blessing, continue the process by scripting your gratitude for having it. The Law of Attraction brings you what you send out into the universe. Gratitude is a universal current of life. Your blessing may not be as powerful if you don’t take time to be grateful for it. 

Without gratitude, you may lose focus on your manifestation and miss the benefits you’ve been given. Moving too quickly from asking to having to asking for something else is not consistent with the universe’s plan to provide you with everything you need when you need it

My final thought

Scripting helps increase your vibrational energy to bring your manifestations into focus. The Law of Attraction is stronger when you focus on your intentions and get clear about what you are asking from the universe. Scripting is an excellent habit to build as part of your journey. 

Daily scripting can be done every morning or even the night before as you close one day and prepare for the next. Using scripting as a daily habit helps you discover your deepest desires and then send your requests to the universe, knowing you are blessed.

Scripting may be a good choice for you, if like me, you have Aphantasia and are unable to see pictures in your mind’s eye when you try to visualize.

I hope you liked this post. Please share it with your family and friends.

Manifest Your Desires by Taking Action

Gram’s Wisdom 14: Manifestation motivation

My Gram told me if you are motivated enough you can have whatever you desire. This statement probably always came after I said, “gee I wish I had…” Having raised 6 children as a young widow during the depression, I’m sure she knew a lot about what children wished for. But she always took me seriously and would ask me how badly I wanted that thing, and what was I willing to do to get it. Then she would tell me, “you work harder to get what you want when the motivation is there.” But along with the hard work, she believed a good plan was also important. “Without a plan, you are only wishing” is what I was told.

No, she didn’t call it manifestation or law of attraction but that’s exactly what it was.

Manifest your reality

Manifestation is the action you take to create a new reality or accomplish a goal by using the power of your thoughts. But, one of the largest misconceptions and most misunderstood principles of manifesting a dream is that it ONLY involves thinking. In other words, many people believe that, if you think it, it will happen. Or just dreaming something will cause it to appear magically out of thin air.

These misconceptions are why so many remain skeptical of manifestation as a legitimate strategy for improving your life. While your thoughts and beliefs are indeed the foundation for manifesting your goals, without action, they continue to stay in the realm of dreams. Manifestation is about using your ideas to transform your efforts to get what you want. It is about Being, Doing, and Having, not just thinking. Let’s look at how taking action affects your ability to manifest your desires.

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work.”

— Colin Powell

Your thoughts into action

Whether or not you believe in manifestation, you likely would agree that actions get results. And that those who expend the effort to do something are much more likely to achieve a goal than those who just sit thinking about doing something. After all, if thinking about losing weight worked, the diet book and weight loss market would not exist!

So, there is no denying that by acting in a specific way you can cause a particular outcome. This is known as cause and effect. Do this, cause that. What manifestation theory tells us is that you can indirectly cause things to happen, as well, through using your thoughts, values, and goals. The results are not all arising from a direct cause nor action but by the effects of your focused attention, desires, and intention, which can change how you behave as well as the choices you make.

What you believe and who you are will inform your choice, habits, and behaviors. Therefore, when you want to manifest something, you must believe that you can achieve it, which changes your desire to try, your awareness of opportunities around you that could help you reach your goal, and much more that influences the actions you take.

So, your thoughts can nurture your actions. But does it work the other way around? Yes! When you actively work on attaining your goals, by doing the things that need to be done, you are learning and gaining confidence, which will change your beliefs and inform your values. When you are successful in making progress toward a goal, you want to reach it and become more invested in its success.

Other essential components of manifestation

While your action is an important ingredient in manifesting what you most desire, it is not the most essential component of this powerful process. To manifest your dreams, you must embody the desire; you must believe that you are capable and worthy of achieving it, and you must focus your thoughts and energy on making it come true. Your thoughts and beliefs guide all your actions and choices, so without the right mindset and outlook, your efforts could be wasted or ineffectual.

All the action in the world can’t make you happy and help you accomplish what you most desire unless your mind is ready and willing to accept it. Having clear intentions, positive expectations, and focused values will drive your actions in the right direction and help pave the way to realizing everything you have always wanted.

My final thought

Action is just one of the necessary steps of the manifestation process. You must also have a plan to guide you toward your goal. And, you must believe you can get the results you want if you consistently take action and work your plan.

I hope this post was valuable to you and you will share it with your family and friends.

Benefits Of Using The Law Of Attraction

Law of attraction?

What have you heard about manifestation? With so many people manifesting these days, someone you know must be using the power of their thoughts to attain their dreams. What about you, are you interested in accomplishing more and having more happiness in your life? If you feel that you are ready to learn more about the Law of Attraction and how it can benefit you let’s dive in.

The law of attraction and what it is

Simply put, the law of attraction is your ability to attract the results you want in your life by focusing on what you want. The idea is based on the supposition that we attract those things to us that are a part of our intentional focus. So, applying your energy and care to something you aspire to will help it to come back to you. Here is how this works in plain words.

Your positive view and use of positive energy to engage with the world and other people will get you positive effects in return. When you display a negative outlook and use negative energy, you will receive negative consequences in return. It’s simple. But why does this work?

All our thoughts manifest themselves into reality, sooner or later. When your belief, for example, that you are bad at sports, takes hold of you, you become less enthusiastic about playing any sports, you resist the need to practice, you don’t try as hard to overcome the challenges you have on the playing field, and eventually, you stop playing altogether. In essence, you become bad at sports because you believe you are bad at sports. Your thoughts manifested into your expected outcome.

Attracting things into your life is possible, but you must focus on what you want if you expect to realize the intended result. Your choice of what to focus on and that outcome will begin to have a more crucial role in your life, will become the focus of your subconscious as well as conscious thought, will control your choices, and will, over time, lead you to your desired objective.

“Accomplishment of your dreams requires personal sacrifice and hard working. May you have a determined spirit, will power, and a great passion for the accomplishment of your dreams.” – Lailah Gifty Akita

Benefits from the law of attraction

The precepts behind the Law of Attraction can be used to manifest anything that you want into your life. Once you see the power of this force at work for you, you can use it to realize whatever dreams you can imagine.

For example, the Law of Attraction can help you create healthy relationships and attract lasting love into your life. When you use the Law of Attraction, your confidence in yourself and your subconscious will be redirected to help you make better partner choices, and you will be more open to accepting love from people.

The Law of Attraction can also help you to attract prosperity or financial freedom into reality. Whether you are looking to increase your wages or pay off debt or save for the future, the Law of Attraction can be used to help you attain more abundance in your life. Most of us have negative thought patterns when it comes to wealth and money so, by changing your thoughts and energy surrounding these into something positive it can help you attract more resources into your life.

The Law of Attraction can also help you improve your health and wellness. By transforming your outlook, your focus on healthy living can help you make better lifestyle choices, spend time with people who are also interested in healthy living, and learn to listen to and honor your body’s needs. Focusing on health and wellness is a positive mindset that in and of itself can have many healthy side effects, as well.

The Law of Attraction can assist you in your search for a more satisfying career, the right place to live, a new car, or friends who care for and are supportive of you. Whatever you can imagine, the universe is waiting to hear your dreams.

My final thought:

Whatever your dreams, wants or desires are, they can be yours if you keep your thoughts positive and if you consistently put in the work. This shows that you are not just wishing or hoping, but that you truly want it to happen.  

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope you will share it with your family and friends.

Is Patience Still A Virtue?

Tolerance behaving as patience

I believe the most important aspect of tolerance is patience. Instead of patience and kindness, what we see are people seemingly frustrated at every turn and behaving badly. Why? Because they believe they are entitled to instant gratification in every situation and that it’s acceptable to bully others.  

I am pleased to be able to say I am a fairly patient person, but that has not always been the case. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I can wait in the longest of lines, I can get caught in a traffic jam, or wait to finish a project because the person who was to hand it off to me hasn’t finished their part yet.

What I can’t tolerate is the person who huffily waits in the same line as the rest of us making nasty remarks, or the crazy driver who tries to get around everyone else just to sit at the same traffic light, or those who complain that if Bob’s kid wasn’t ill, he might have gotten his portion of the report completed earlier.

Yep, you heard it right. I had a hard time dealing with other people’s impatience. I used to be more confrontational with them and call them out for it. It riled me up, and made no difference. But about 7 years ago I concluded that it was a useless waste of time on my part. So, I stopped.

“Tolerance and patience should not be read as signs of weakness, they are signs of strength.”

— Anonymous

Unfortunately, it seems there are more and more people who take advantage of the patience and tolerance of others. Me, I never mind waiting until it’s my turn, but just to be clear, I want my turn. Just a couple of weeks ago I overheard a woman at the grocery store in line tell another who cut in that she had been waiting. The woman who cut in line told her to shut up and mind her own business.

Guess what? The cashier called the manager. Kudos to her.

Here are 4 quick tips about patience:

1 | Societal views of impatience. People will generally see the impatient person as being selfish, bad-tempered, arrogant, irritable, and insensitive to the feelings of others. But that doesn’t mean you can’t change. Patience is a learned skill that anyone who desires it can gain for themselves.

2 | Success comes to those who wait. We hear it all the time, “there are no quick fixes.” Hand in hand with that is the knowledge that some things just can’t be rushed. Which is not to say you should sit on your hands and do nothing. Instead, patience in these instances allows you to make better decisions.  

3 | Become more mindful of your world. Mindfulness helps you to be increasingly thoughtful and introspective. This helps you to slow down and see where you and others fit into the world more clearly.  

4 | Journal your feelings. Write down what frustrates you and how it makes you feel. This type of self-reflection written daily can aid you in observing yourself objectively. Work through those things that recur most often first.

A final thought

I am going back to calling people out. Because someone needs to stand up to bullies and remind them that we all can’t be first and that others are just as important as they are.

I hope you found this post of some value. I would love to hear your opinions. Please share this with your family and friends.