Tolerance behaving as patience
I believe the most important aspect of tolerance is patience. Instead of patience and kindness, what we see are people seemingly frustrated at every turn and behaving badly. Why? Because they believe they are entitled to instant gratification in every situation and that it’s acceptable to bully others.
I am pleased to be able to say I am a fairly patient person, but that has not always been the case. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I can wait in the longest of lines, I can get caught in a traffic jam, or wait to finish a project because the person who was to hand it off to me hasn’t finished their part yet.
What I can’t tolerate is the person who huffily waits in the same line as the rest of us making nasty remarks, or the crazy driver who tries to get around everyone else just to sit at the same traffic light, or those who complain that if Bob’s kid wasn’t ill, he might have gotten his portion of the report completed earlier.
Yep, you heard it right. I had a hard time dealing with other people’s impatience. I used to be more confrontational with them and call them out for it. It riled me up, and made no difference. But about 7 years ago I concluded that it was a useless waste of time on my part. So, I stopped.
“Tolerance and patience should not be read as signs of weakness, they are signs of strength.”
Unfortunately, it seems there are more and more people who take advantage of the patience and tolerance of others. Me, I never mind waiting until it’s my turn, but just to be clear, I want my turn. Just a couple of weeks ago I overheard a woman at the grocery store in line tell another who cut in that she had been waiting. The woman who cut in line told her to shut up and mind her own business.
Guess what? The cashier called the manager. Kudos to her.
Here are 4 quick tips about patience:
1 | Societal views of impatience. People will generally see the impatient person as being selfish, bad-tempered, arrogant, irritable, and insensitive to the feelings of others. But that doesn’t mean you can’t change. Patience is a learned skill that anyone who desires it can gain for themselves.
2 | Success comes to those who wait. We hear it all the time, “there are no quick fixes.” Hand in hand with that is the knowledge that some things just can’t be rushed. Which is not to say you should sit on your hands and do nothing. Instead, patience in these instances allows you to make better decisions.
3 | Become more mindful of your world. Mindfulness helps you to be increasingly thoughtful and introspective. This helps you to slow down and see where you and others fit into the world more clearly.
4 | Journal your feelings. Write down what frustrates you and how it makes you feel. This type of self-reflection written daily can aid you in observing yourself objectively. Work through those things that recur most often first.
A final thought
I am going back to calling people out. Because someone needs to stand up to bullies and remind them that we all can’t be first and that others are just as important as they are.
I hope you found this post of some value. I would love to hear your opinions. Please share this with your family and friends.