Grams Wisdom 13: Tolerance as endurance
Here is another lesson Gram didn’t overtly teach me and yet, I absorbed it by observing her actions. She of the fix it or forget it mentality for happiness also faced major challenges in her life, as we all do. These types of crises often have their own timeline, lasting a year or longer leaving us few choices and must therefore, be endured.
This is not like enduring the lengthy line at the Honey Baked ham store the day before Christmas or any other line where you can see its end. We accept and tolerate these conditions because we want what is at the other end of those lines.
Most of us will come up against a devastating illness, ours or someone we love, infidelity and divorce, a mountain of debt or the death of a loved one. These examples or any number of other possibilities can derail your life at the least or send you into a tailspin at the worst.
Like my Gram, I embrace a fix it or forget mentality and believe that even the worst of situations can be if not fixed, at least be reduced in severity. Keep in mind it may take you some time before you are prepared to tackle your situation and of course, some fixes will be very hard work.
Here are some general tips to help you become ready:
1 | Honor your feelings. They are yours. So, don’t pay attention to the well-meaning friend who tells you she went through xyz last year and felt better in a week. Good for her, but we all recover from hurt, shock, anger, and grief at our own pace. Never try to force yourself into feeling what someone else deems is an appropriate feeling for your situation.
2 | Be truly brave. Don’t go it alone. Ask for the help and support of your family and friends during your crisis. They want to help you if you allow it. If this isn’t enough, then seeking professional advice should be your next step.
3 | Take care of yourself. Especially if you have the responsibility of caring for others as part of your daily routine. Allowing yourself to fall prey to neglect helps no one. Food and sleep are of paramount importance to your overall well-being. Just know self-care is never selfish.
4 | Acknowledge your situation. Coming to terms with what brought you to this pass whether you had a hand in it or not, will aid your understanding. Which in turn allows you to move forward and make plans to fix the problem and begin the healing process.
“The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.”
In Conclusion:
Larger life crises will most often take more than a quick fix and done. They generally bring high-intensity emotions into play that can wear you down and fog up your thinking. By taking the time to ready yourself you will increase your endurance for the long haul.
I hope you find this post valuable, and that you share it with your family and friends.
Find Gram’s Wisdom post for fix it or forget it below