Do You Get The Best Sleep?

The importance of sleep in your life

Sleep is a natural bodily function just as breathing, eating, and drinking are. What you may not realize is just how beneficial sleep is for you and why. The thought was once held that you would spend a third of your life sleeping, yet, the evidence of our own lives shows that to be no longer true.

Everyone recognizes the importance of sleep. You know you feel tired and have no energy when you miss sleep, plus your moods and general well-being change.

Much research has gone into understanding the benefits of sleep. Sleep has been shown to help improve immune function, metabolism, memory, as well as your ability to learn. Sleep is required so that your body can run and perform at optimal levels. Sleep aids your body to repair itself.

Sleep has been shown to help your learning and memory function. There are two main benefits connected with this and sleep. The first one is quite simple and that is a person who is deprived of sleep just cannot focus properly, so they will not learn effectively. The second benefit is that after learning something new your memory consolidates this information while sleeping. So, studying just before going to bed is a good thing.

Getting adequate sleep has been linked with living longer. Research shows that people who’ve slept less than 5 hours per night were more likely to die early. This does not mean that you want to oversleep either, too much sleep is also connected with a shorter life span.

Your health can also be affected by the quality of your sleep. People who sleep less than 6 hours a day often suffer from health issues such as arthritis, diabetes, stroke, and heart disease.

This has been linked to them having more inflammatory protein levels in their blood. When these issues are treated, and more sleep is accomplished the protein levels have been shown to decline.

Your creativity levels, athleticism, and school grades can all improve by sleeping more. It was discovered that many children with ADHD were in fact, sleep-deprived. It is recommended that young children get more than 8 hours of sleep per night.

If you are trying to lose weight, sleep has additional benefits. Dieters who sleep more find that they can lose weight quicker. This is because your metabolism and sleep are controlled by the same areas of your brain. If losing weight is your goal, then try and get a good night's rest every night.

“A well-spent day brings happy sleep.”

— Leonardo da Vinci

How much sleep do you need?

The amount of sleep that a person requires varies as they age. Newborn babies, for example, require anywhere from 12 to 18 hours of sleep per day. While an adult can manage with only 7 hours. There are several factors that affect the number of hours you need on a regular basis.

The biggest thing to understand is that there is no magic number when it comes to sleep. Sleep patterns are as individual as your personality. The quality of your sleep is often more important than the actual number of hours.

There are two basic principles that pertain to sleep:

1.   Basal Sleep

2.   Sleep Debt

Basal sleep is the amount of sleep required by your body to keep your body functioning at an optimal point. Sleep Debt is the number of hours you lose due to either poor sleeping habits, illness, or other problems that keep you awake.

Studies show that most adults need between 7 to 8 hours of basal sleep per night. Sleep Debt is connected to those times when you are feeling sleepy and tired, even if you just slept for 7 hours.

What this research suggests is that your body needs to catch up to your sleep debt numbers. Depending on how sleep deprived you are, this may take several nights of your sleeping for 7 hours or more to catch up.

Your mood and energy levels are a good indication of sleep deprivation. People who do not sleep enough are at more risk of being involved in a car or work-related accidents. Plus, many people find that they gain weight when they do not sleep enough for extended periods of time.

As you can see, sleep truly does have a major impact on your life. The best way to determine just how much sleep you require is to pay attention to your body. Note things such as what kind of mood you are in, if you feel more hungry than usual, and how much energy you have.

Pay attention to how many nights per week that you get enough sleep. If this number is low, then you may want to appraise your sleep habits and make some changes.

Quite often something as simple as a warm bath or shower before going to bed can make a huge difference. As can passing on the coffee or alcohol too close to bedtime.

Conclusion

The benefits of sleep cannot be overstated. Nor can the deleterious effects from lack of sleep be underrated. Sleep works hand in hand with exercise and diet, increasing the effectiveness of both.

I hope you liked this post and that you will share it with your family and friends.

Get more information here.

Sleep Statistics for 2019

Too Much Good Food Is Bad For You

Gram’s Wisdom 11: Eat a little of everything in moderation

My Gram never counted a calorie in her life. She didn’t look at labels for the salt, sugar or fat content in the food she ate. It never became necessary. Healthy foods, eaten moderately is what she preached to anyone who would listen.

She was a firm believer in eating a balanced diet from all the food groups. Don’t deprive yourself of food you enjoy. Instead, eat something of everything in moderation so you don’t crave and binge on the wrong foods.

This method for eating carried her through a life of health and wellness for more than a hundred years. I have sensibly followed my Gram’s example of eating everything moderately all my life with good results, but in a way that suits me. 

Focused on the wrong thing

Many people go crazy counting calories, checking serving sizes, and ingredients. This behavior has driven everyone a bit insane. And instead of helping with weight loss, it has pushed many people closer and closer to the brink of an epidemic which is known in the medical world as obesity.

Young and old, obesity has infiltrated your life in one way or another; affecting you personally or your loved ones. And it isn’t just about the numbers seen on the scale. Obesity increases your risk of heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, arthritis, and many other types of chronic illnesses.

Serving size vs. Portion

A serving is what can be found on a food product’s food label, or Nutrition Facts, on the side of the package. It’s a suggestion of how much you should eat from that particular food product. Each product has different serving sizes and uses various measurements, such as cups, grams, ounces, slices, or pieces. There’s also a serving per container on the label which gives you an idea of how many servings are in the entire package.

A portion is the amount of food you eat per meal. It could be directly from the box, or how much food is on your plate at home or at a restaurant. More often, the portion of food you decide to consume won’t match the serving size provided for you on the food label.

Do you eat too much?

You all know what’s good for you and what isn’t; or what you should eat 80% of the time and what you can indulge in 20% of the time without feelings of guilt. The problem now, however, has become not what to eat, but how much should I eat? Even healthy foods should be eaten in moderation.

How much food you can consume at each meal is different from one person to the next based on age, gender, weight, metabolism and how active that person is. If you work out regularly, you’ll need more calories than someone who leads a sedentary lifestyle. Or if you’re in your twenties, your metabolism will be working faster than someone in their fifties, which means you can eat larger portions without worrying as much.

Here are a few tips to help you quickly figure out your portion sizes both at home and on the go:

• Use smaller dishes. It may sound simple, but you’ll be amazed at how easily your brain accepts that you’re eating less. And you won’t even feel you’re doing it.

• Use your plate as a measuring tool. For example, if you’re eating salad, that should take up ½ your plate. Protein and complex carbs should take about a quarter of your plate. And if you’re eating foods high in fats, that should only be ½ a tablespoon.

• Use your hands. It’s not an exact science, but the size of your hands usually corresponds to the size of your body. So, protein should be roughly the size of 1 palm for women and 2 palms for men; vegetables and foods rich in carbs should be about a fistful for women and 2 fistfuls for men; high-fat foods should be about the size of a thumb for women and 2 thumbs for men.

• Avoid eating straight from the container. Measure out the serving size in a bowl instead.

• Always start each meal with a glass of water.

• Avoid eating while standing up or while you’re being distracted by something, as a phone call or the TV

• Stop eating when you notice you feel full

• Always focus on how your food looks, smells, tastes as you purposefully chew each bite. Practicing mindfulness will help you reevaluate your relationship with food. It will also feel full quicker, and most importantly, satiated and content.

The bottom line is that it’s important to have a healthy relationship with food. Just like in any relationship, neither side should have the upper hand. There should be a sense of balance and respect without that negative hold that food can sometimes have on you.  

“Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.”

— Ernestine Ulmer

Intermittent fasting

I adhere to an eating window that falls between 12:00 PM and 7:00 PM most of the time.

Long before I ever knew there was a term for it, I had been intermittent fasting. I began this process as a rebellious teen who just hated eating breakfast food, at the acceptable breakfast hour. By the time I was 16 both Gram and my Mother had given up fighting the breakfast battle, and I was on my way to skipping lunch as well, most days.

Little did either of them know, but that was the beginning of a pattern of eating that I thought of as a lifestyle choice. Now that it has its own name, it’s much easier for me to describe to people and I receive fewer eye rolls and more questions about how to do it long term.

There are benefits to intermittent fasting, like weight loss and cellular repair, that make it popular. What I have always found beneficial was not having to plan, shop, cook, or clean-up after an extra meal or two every day.  

Just like any other eating regimen, intermittent fasting isn’t for everyone. But it is simple, and it usually only takes a week or two to make the transition from how you eat now. After a few short weeks, you should begin to see physical changes, greater focus, and more time in your schedule. Depending on your overall health you may want to clear this with your doctor first.

I hope you find this post beneficial and will share it with your family and friends.  

For additional information, you may want to check out this post by Mayo Oshin.

11 Lessons Learned from 4 Years of Intermittent Fasting: The Good and Bad.

How Exercise Increases Energy And Vitality

One of the most prized things among seniors and, likewise, one of the hardest things to achieve is a renewed sense and feeling of youth. Energy, vitality, and physical agility are difficult to hold on to as we age, but not impossible with exercise.

When you introduce healthy and positive habits into your regular routine, you can begin feeling younger and have greater energy in no time. By maintaining both a physically and socially active lifestyle you can greatly improve your overall quality of life during your golden years, making them feel truly golden.

Boost your confidence and mood

While exercise is just a small chunk of recovery, it provides a host of health benefits that aren't just physical. In fact, engaging in exercise on a consistent basis has been found to improve mood, increase happiness, and boost productivity! Who knew that hitting the gym a few times a week could be as effective as a therapy session?

In addition, exercise has been known to make individuals feel a sense of calm and relief. This control helps them deal with their everyday challenges without getting overwhelmed. If you're looking for ways to improve your self-development and seek happiness, check out why and how exercise is a great tool to implement into your recovery routine.

1. Get a proven mood boost with exercise 

When you exercise, your brain releases dozens of hormones that contribute to your happiness. Of those hormones, endorphins and serotonin are the primary ones. 

The hormones regulate your mood and help you to balance your emotions. In fact, healthy doses of serotonin increase your happiness! Because of this biological boost, many doctors suggest engaging in some form of physical activity to increase the production of these hormones.

2. Feel more confident

Sure, exercising on a regular basis and eating well contribute to a nice physical appearance. That's partly one of the main reasons why people exercise so often. However, did you know that regular exercise can make you feel confident, productive, and accomplished.  

Exercise isn't an easy task. If it was, more people would enjoy doing it. But, by pushing yourself to overcome your physical limitations and hit the gym, you give yourself an immediate boost of confidence. 

Tackling those heavy weights or finally being able to run a mile on the treadmill are awesome accomplishments you can be proud of. And as you continue going, your strength and stamina will increase. This will make better equipped to tackle other challenges in and out of the gym.

3. You feel better about yourself

When you aren't happy with your outward appearance, it's hard to feel confident on a regular basis. Exercise not only improves your strength; it also improves how you look physically. When you begin to see progress, you begin to feel a sense of success and confidence.

Having a healthy sense of self-confidence helps you to develop lasting relationships with others and yourself. You're automatically happier which obviously results in an increased mood. 

“Aging is not ‘Lost Youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”

— Betty Friedan

Choosing exercise that fits your abilities and lifestyle

There are countless different forms of exercise such as cycling, kickboxing, yoga, CrossFit, Zuu workouts and so many more. When it comes to choosing a type of exercise to stay active, most people think of the popular and fancy workouts like Zumba, P90X, etc.

Little thought is given to walking as a form of exercise. It is often disparaged and thought of as an activity that is reserved for senior citizens. However, there are many health benefits that can be gained from walking daily.

It’s one of the best exercises on the planet, it needs no special equipment, and our bodies have evolved over centuries to benefit from regular walks.

1.   The impact on your body is low

Walking is a low-impact activity that won’t wear out your joints. Unlike running, kickboxing or other high-impact activities that can make your joints ache, walking is a lot more forgiving on your body.

2.   The low intensity nature allows it to be done daily

It’s a low-intensity exercise that will not tax your central nervous system like CrossFit or some of the more vigorous forms of exercise. With high intensity interval training (HIIT), you may need to take a one-day break after every workout because of the demands it places on your body. Walking is much more relaxing in comparison and can be done daily.

3.   The versatility is almost endless

Walking can be applied to many different areas in your life. You could easily walk to the mall and back, if it’s within walking distance or walk in the mall on a cold or rainy day. Driving to work? Park your car a block away and walk to your office.

There are social benefits when walking with a friend and you can inject a bit of competition to rev up the walk. The more you walk, the better.

Thousands of people wear Fitbits to track the number of steps they take daily. You’d easily meet your daily quota if you walked for 30 to 45 minutes a day.

4.   Walk your weight off

Walking may seem like a humble exercise, but it can help you lose the pounds if you’re consistent. Going for a 30 to 45-minute walk daily on an empty stomach will help your body tap into its fat stores for fuel because its low on glycogen.

This is a very effective way to lose weight. Thousands of people shirk exercise because they fear the exertion and exhaustion involved. Walking is easy enough to do and help you achieve your weight loss goal. It may take longer than more rigorous training methods, but you’ll still get there.

5.   Stress be gone

Walking will help you to relieve stress. This is especially true if you walk in a park or some picturesque setting. Walking allows you time to calm yourself and get in touch with your thoughts.

You do not need to focus on good form or train to failure like you would with resistance training. Walking is a natural form of movement and therapeutic to your soul. Walking will also aid in digestion and improve your blood circulation. It will improve your cardiovascular strength and boost your immune system.

If you walk in the sun, you’ll get your daily dose of vitamin D. Thousands of people are deficient in vitamin D and it causes them to feel lethargic and depressed. Walking will lift your moods by ensuring that you get natural vitamin D in your system. Don’t forget to wear your sunblock.

Conclusion

By now you’ll realize that walking is an activity that’s so useful it can’t be neglected. Even if you focus most of your training on hardcore activities like HIIT or weightlifting, on your off days, you can have an active rest day.

What that means is that you can go for a 30-minute walk and call it a day. The walking will help to soothe sore muscles because of the increased blood circulation, and it’s also light enough to not tax your body but still burn a few calories so that it’s easier to stay lean and fit.

I hope you found some useful information in this post. I would appreciate it if you share it with someone you care about.

What Is A Grandparent’s Journal

A grandparent’s journal is written for the express purpose of revealing your early life to your grandchildren or even your children.

Remember when you were younger, and it felt as if the people you loved would always be there? You believed you would have all the time in the world to do all the things and have all the conversations. Sadly, you don’t know how much time you will have with anyone.  

How much time do you spend with your grandchildren? Regardless of the frequency or length of time, does it ever feel like it’s enough?  I will bet you aren’t spending that precious face to face time discussing your childhood with your grandkids.

Of course not. First, you’re listening to their dreams, what they want from their future life. Second, you want to make your time together into lasting memories, with them and for them.

Unfortunately, perhaps after the loss of a loved one, you begin to wonder what their earlier life was like, what the times were like when they were growing up. And when it’s too late, there is no one you can ask.  

I was fortunate enough to have my Gram live near me for 55 years. We talked all the time and she brought to life many stories of her girlhood for me. I heard about some of her pets, her home life, and her parents. Not everyone has this opportunity. Which is why I began writing a journal for my grandson.

“If there was no other motive in view [except] to have the privilege of reading over our journals and for our children to read, it would pay for the time spent in writing it.”

— Wilford Woodruff

 Creating a grandparent’s journal

Nothing could be simpler to do. I suggest a spiral-bound 8 x 10 or larger journal with at least 100 pages. This will allow you space to add photos, stickers, and doodles to add color and personality. So, don’t forget the colored pencils. Write from your heart and let the words bubble up and flow onto the paper.

To make this easier I’ve included a list of prompts.

1.      Where you were born, the date and place.

2.      Who named you, and how was your name chosen?

3.      Your parents, names, birth dates, and places of birth.

4.      Your aunts and uncles.

5.      Your siblings oldest to youngest.

6.      Who were you closest with in your family?

7.      The history of your family.

8.      The origins of your family.

9.      How you got to where you are now.

10.  What is your first memory?

11.  What kind of child were you?

12.  What special memories do you have of your mother?

13.  What memories of your father?

14.  What memories of your father’s parents?

15.  What memories of your mother’s parents?

16.  Did your parents read to you as a child?

17.  What were your favorite pastimes?

18.  Did your family play games together?

19.  If so, what were you favorites?

20.  Did you have pets?

21.  Describe your bedroom.

22.  Did you share or have it to yourself?

23.  What was your favorite Television show?

24.  What was a special meal your mom made for you?

25.  Did you help around the house?

26.  Did you get an allowance?

27.  Who were your childhood friends?

28.  Where did they live?

29.  What was your neighborhood like?

30.  Where did you first go to school?

31.  How did you get there?

32.  Did you like school? Why?

33.  What were your favorite books?

34.  What was your favorite kind of music?

35.  How did you listen to it?

36.  Did you go to concerts? Who did you see?

37.  What were your favorite movies?

38.  Who were your favorite movie stars?

39.  Did you keep a diary?

40.  What did you do during the summers?

41.  Where did your family go on vacation?

42.  How did your family spend the holidays?

43.  What were your favorite holiday foods?

44.  Do you have a favorite recipe to share?

45.  Who was the clown in your family?

46.  After school did you play any sports or belong to any clubs?

47.  Did you ever leave school with your friends without permission?

48.  Did you do something that you were never caught doing?

49.  How did you wear your hair? Did you wear makeup?

50.  What did you think you would be when you grew up?

51.  What was the biggest thing you remember happening while you were in high school?

52.  Who was president?

53.  What’s the best thing that’s been invented since you were a kid?

54.  Did you imagine what kind of house you wanted or where you would live someday?

55.  Tell all about your first date. How old were you? The who, the where, the when.

56.  Did you go to college?

57.  What was your first place like? Did you live alone?

58.  What was your first job? How much money did you make?

59.  What was your worst job?

60.  Did you go on any road trips?

61.  What about your love life? Was there one that got away?

62.  What is your best relationship advice?

63.  What was the most romantic date you ever went on?

64.   How you met grandfather, and what about him now?

65.  What about your first home and baby together?

66.  Did you enjoy being a mom, what was your favorite thing?

67.  How was it when you brought home my dad/mom for the first time?

68.  Tell me about my parent as a child?

69.  What kinds of hobbies, activities or vacations did/do you enjoy as an adult?

70.  Where have you traveled that you love best and why?

71.  When you heard you were going to be a Grandma the first time, how did you feel?

72.  How old were you when I was born?

73.  Did you babysit me? What did we like to do, just the two of us?

74.  What is a favorite family recipe, and why?

75.  Will you write it down here?

76.  What is your favorite quote, and why?

77.  If you could be any age, which would you choose?

78.  If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?

79.  What hopes and dreams do you have for the future?

80.  What would you most like to be remembered for?

81.  What is your best life advice?

82.  What makes you the happiest?

83.  What is the most important thing you have learned?

Wouldn’t you like to leave some of what you saw, thought, and felt, for someone in your life? I truly feel that it is never too late nor even too early to begin.

I hope you liked this post, and that you will share it with those you love.

Give Yourself The Gift Of Journaling

Gram’s Wisdom 10 A Gift of Journaling

My Gram didn’t keep a journal as far as I knew, perhaps she did earlier in her life but that was not something she shared with me. None the less, the Christmas before I turned eleven, she gifted me with a diary. They were very popular in those years and every young girl looked forward to receiving one either for Christmas or her birthday.

I admit to making entries in a very spotty manner. Yet, I had several instances where I wrote faithfully for weeks at a time. And guess what? It wasn’t always about who had a crush on who at school this week or an outing canceled due to weather.

Some of those entries were about the very things that Gram had been teaching me. What I didn’t understand then, was the lesson I got in self-development. Luckily for me, my Mom must have felt I got enough use out of that first diary that, she gave me one the following Christmas.

To this day my stream of consciousness journal is a spotty affair. I only write when I feel I have something to say or remember. My gratitude journal, on the other hand, gets entries every single day. Both of these, I feel help me to continue to develop into the person I want to be.

Nine styles of journals you can create

When you begin journaling it will occur to you that having more than one kind of journal could be best to keep everything organized. When you have more than one style of journal you can simply go to the specific journal to work on one issue at a time.

1. Bullet Journals – This type of journal is useful for anyone who has lots of to-do lists, loves using a pen and paper, and who enjoys goal tracking. Your journal should have a table of contents that you create as you add to the journal so you can find things. You’ll use symbols, colors, and lines to make your bullet journal. You should be able to understand at a glance what’s on the page.

2. Vision Journals – You may have heard of vision boards and this is essentially it, except it’s a journal that helps lead you to your vision. The way it works is that you set up the journal to have only one goal per page. Then you can write words, add pictures, or draw something that enables you to make plans to reach that goal. When you do reach the goal, be sure to go back and add the date of achievement.

3. Line a Day Journals – Basically this journal is what it’s called – you write down only one line a day. You will simply write in the journal a short line about what you did that day. It should be only a sentence or two at the most and should not take up that much space in your journal. Some people like using a calendar and a pen for this.

4. Classic/Stream of Consciousness Journal – This is simply a diary, and you can write whatever you want in it every day. It can be long, short, or you can skip days if you want to. The classic journal is just like the diary that you may have kept as a child. You write whatever you want, as much or as little as you want, as frequently as you want.  

5. Dream Journal – Some people really like tracking their dreams because they believe that dreams provide signs for life. If you want to track your dreams, you should train yourself to write in your dream journal every morning while you still remember the dream. Write about the dream and then research what it means and write about that too.

6. Food Journal – Write down everything you eat every day. Some people like to include the calorie contents and so forth. It can also help to write down why you eat it, how you felt about eating it, and things like that.

7. Travel Journal – A wonderful way to remember your travels is to keep a travel journal. Some people like making one for each trip so that it’s easier to remember. You can write your thoughts in your journal, but you can also attach tickets, photos, and memories.

8. Gratitude Journal – This is just what it sounds like. It’s a journal where you record each day what you’re thankful for and grateful for. Nothing can be negative in this journal because it’s designed to help you think more positively.

9. Project Journal – This is a handy journal to keep, especially for anyone who regularly works on projects. Keeping a journal of each project you work on that records actions taken, results, and data will help you improve every project but will also help you look back on this one with excitement.

Your journal helps you to work through a problem. It’s also a great way to store your thoughts and memories in an organized and useful manner.

“A diary is useful during conscious, intentional, and painful, spiritual evolution.”

— Andre Gide

Daily routine journaling tips

The best way to ensure that journaling is working for you is to do it long term. Long-term journaling gives you more insight into your life as you write in the present. In the future, when you read what you’ve written, you can see how your development is shaping up.  

* Make It Easy – Don’t make it a huge deal, and it’ll be simpler to get done. For example, it’s easier to use a notebook and paper than a computer for most people. You can have the book in your bag or on your bedside table or wherever you plan to write in it.

* Choose a Time That Works – The best times to do it are early morning, first thing, or the last thing before you go to bed. However, that might not work for some people. If you know a better time, do it. For example, some people like journaling while on lunch at work in the park. It’s up to you.

* Get a Drink and Eat a Snack – You don’t want to have any excuses or extraneous thoughts while you’re writing in your journal. Make sure you’re fed and hydrated.

* Create a Comfortable and Accessible Space – It’s easier to get into your thoughts if you’re comfortable and not thinking about how bad your tailbone hurts or your wrist hurts. Some people like using a desk, some a comfy easy chair, others their bed.

* Combine It with Something Else You Enjoy Doing – If you enjoy cleaning the house, then reading in your clean house with the windows open and the breeze flowing in, why not journal at that moment? If it’s a daily thing, add journaling to it, and it’ll create a habit fast.

* Add Some Relaxing Music to Set the Mood – Now it’s true that some people prefer silence, so that’s fine if you do. But consider trying some music that doesn’t have words and that is relaxing, to help you gather your thoughts and stay calm and focused. 

* Consider Using Journaling Prompts – You can also find journaling prompts online for any type of journal you want to use.

* Reward Yourself – When you have been diligent for a month writing in your journal, take some time to read what you wrote, then reward yourself for doing it. You might buy some colored pens or some fun stickers so you can add some definition and interest to your journal.

For more information on journaling:

Five Reasons You Need To Keep A Gratitude Journal

I hope you enjoyed this post. I would love it if you let me know what your favorite idea or part of it was.

How Journaling Improves Your Life

Discover Journaling Benefits

How you keep your journal, be it pen and paper or digitally is less important, but just as personal a decision as what you record. You can record the events of your days, plan a vacation, analyze your dreams, remember your gratitude, or use a bullet journal to organize your life. Journals can help you capture your thoughts, plot out your future career path, or provide light-bulb moments of clarity for a better understanding of yourself.

As well as decluttering your mind, keeping a journal can have many other benefits. Here are four important ones.

1.     Stress reduction

By putting your feelings on paper, you acknowledge your stress rather than ignoring it. All those anxieties and worries stop swirling inside your head, allowing you to step back and view from another perspective the things that are troubling you. It can even help with problem-solving!

2.     Improved mental health

Journaling is often recommended by psychologists and therapists. Journaling helps you to work through the issues that come up in your therapy sessions, supporting and complementing the healing process. It can be a powerful tool in removing psychological blockages. And, once you feel better, burning or throwing that journal away, can feel positively liberating.

3.     Improving your cognitive skills

Your journaling habit helps your brain to function more efficiently. Studies have shown that the act of writing strengthens the learning process and stores facts and concepts more firmly in your memory. Writing helps to develop new neural pathways in your brain, connecting new information with data already stored in your memory.

4.     Goal achievement

Studies have found that you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down! Journaling gives you the space to work through ideas, setting out the details and the possibilities. Writing about the process helps you to track progress, so you can see how close you're getting to achieving your goal or where you may need to pivot instead to reach that goal.

The habit of keeping a journal gives you a physical and mental discipline and focus that will influence other areas of your life. Writing down your goals and aspirations gives you a strong motivation to achieve them!

“In the journal I am at ease.”

— Anais Nin

Activate Your Creativity

Keeping a journal is not just recording the events of your life or how you’re feeling. It can be a way of supporting your creative life. It’s a low risk, private as you want, way of writing down your brilliant thoughts, your ideas, your dreams, and your resolves.  And once allowed to soar, there’s no telling what sort of creative magic your mind will come up with.

It can be very instructive to read the journals of writers, artists, and actors and get an insight into how they used journaling to grow and develop in their field.

Here are five ways that keeping a journal can enhance your creativity.

1.     Capture your ideas

Between the pages of your journal, you can keep safe all those ideas that are just beginning to form, that are not quite ready to be explored on canvas or turned into a short story, book or article.

2.     Ignore your inner critic

Journaling can help hush your inner critic, that little voice that polices all your thoughts and ideas. Research has shown that when you write without expectation of an outcome, the part of your mind that acts as a sensor steps aside and lets you get on with it. Journaling, free writing or morning pages allow you to write for the sake of it, no editing, no agonizing. And that frees up your creative flow!

3.     Find your voice

Journaling is freeform, messy writing. No one is going to read it, so you can feel free to test out and build your own voice rather than copy someone else. It’s a time to experiment, explore styles, and not worry about what doesn’t work.

4.     Create new ideas

As you get into the creative flow of journaling, you free your mind to bring forth new ideas. The process makes space for ideas to well up, ideas you may not have had if you were trying too hard. And there’s no commitment to take any of them further unless you want to, and it feels right.

5.     You choose what is important

Your journal is yours and yours alone. You can write down your secret fears; you can write your truth. Once it’s down on paper, then you can decide if you want to do anything with it. You can take aspects of your truth and turn them into a poem or a painting. Journaling gives you practice in acknowledging and embracing your truth. And your art will sing more authentically because of it.

Create A Journal Jar 

You may have bought yourself a beautiful journal, all ready to get going. But maybe it’s hard to start. Perhaps it’s hard to think of what to write. After all, you don’t want to spoil that beautiful new notebook.

Help yourself get into the habit of journaling by creating journal prompts, and making your own journal jar, using these five easy steps.

1.     Find a suitable jar. You can use anything, a mason jar, cookie jar or a vase.

2.     Then write down the prompts suggested below onto slips of paper and put them in the jar.

3.     Whenever you’re stuck for journaling ideas, just pull out a prompt.

4.     Set your kitchen timer for thirty minutes.

5.     Put your prompt in front of you and simply write down whatever comes into your mind.

Here are some suggestions to help get you started.

Lists

Start easy by making lists. You can write as little or as much as you want under each listing.

1.     Dream vacation destinations

2.     Best meals you’ve had and where you ate them

3.     Favorite movies

4.     Favorite books

5.     Favorite songs

6.     Top goals to achieve this year, in five years, in ten years

Reveal

1.     Something people don’t know about you

2.     Things you wish you had done

3.     Your secret desires

4.     The most outrageous thing you’ve ever done

5.     Biggest gamble you’ve ever made (this could be a career, relationship, travel – anything that felt risky)

6.     Letter to someone you’ve wronged

What if

1.     If you could meet anyone from history, who would it be?

2.     If you could meet any fictional character(s), who would they be?

3.     If you could host a dinner party with anyone from history or fiction, who would you invite?

4.     If you could go back in time and fix anything, what would you choose?

5.     If you could change one thing about yourself right now, what would it be?

6.     If you could make money doing what you love, what would that be?

It’s the little things

It’s easy to think of the big things you love in your life, what about the little things? Like maybe the way your dog greets you when you come home, or the narcissi that bloom without fail every spring? Think across every part of your life.

1.     Family members

2.     Pets

3.     Movies

4.     Books

5.     Food

6.     Activities

7.     Nature

8.     Home

Take a backward look

Try to think as widely as you can, from managing to get the early bus to trying a new recipe or meeting your exercise goals.

1.     Write down all the things that made you feel good.

2.     What did you learn this week?

3.     What did you achieve?

4.     What promises did you keep?

5.     What were you grateful for?

I hope this post encourages you to begin your own journaling habit. In many ways, it is one of the most rewarding and empowering habits you can adopt.

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your family and friends.

Coping With The Loss Of Someone Close

Seasons of life and loss

Throughout our lives, we move through seasons. Some seasons bring much joy to us, But, our seasons of grief or loss can be the most difficult we face as human beings. As we discovered in the previous 2 posts of this series, we all suffer some type of loss in our lives. It is safe to say we will face multiple kinds of loss. It can also be said that how we manage our loss is as individual as we are.

While some losses are just harder the closer, we were to the loved one. Some losses challenge us at the heart of who we are, such as, a mother, who had lost her only child, can struggle to find her place now that she has no claim upon the title of ‘Mom’.

If your loss was sudden, shock and disbelief can take over. If protracted, you may be exhausted and relieved, yet, feeling guilt and remorse.

How to cope with guilt when you lose a loved one

When you lose a loved one, it can be incredibly difficult to carry on, as you’ll find yourself feeling empty and possibly depressed for a long time following. This is a normal part of the grieving process, and by facing and embracing these emotions, you will gradually be able to heal and remember that person in a more positive way.

But another common emotion to be struggling with at this point is guilt. While this is another common emotion, it is not as adaptive and can be unhealthy. Here we will look at where the guilt comes from and what you can do about it.

Why you feel guilt or remorse

When someone dies of natural causes or an accident, it is no one’s fault. However, it is very easy to end up blaming yourself and feeling remorse. Perhaps you think if you hadn’t called them over, then they never would have been on the road when that car came. Maybe you think you could have encouraged them to go to the doctor sooner.

This is one cause of guilt during grief, but it is far from the only one. Likewise, it is also common to feel guilt over the way you’ve handled their death. Perhaps you feel guilty for not being sadder or too sad. Maybe you feel guilty for not being more supportive of your family. Or maybe you feel guilty years later for moving on with your life. Sometimes, you can simply feel guilty for being alive when your loved one isn’t.

All these things are very normal, but they are not healthy, and ultimately, they need to be overcome for you to move on with your life.

Overcoming your guilt

Overcoming guilt is about learning to forgive yourself and let go. Because, ultimately, your loved one would undoubtedly prefer that you were happy and getting on with your life as you should.

This means sitting down and honestly assessing your feelings. Of course, if events had been different, then your loved one may have died, or they may not have. You could not have known the future, and you acted as you thought was best at the time. Likewise, everyone else is equally culpable for their actions or inactions, and most likely, nothing anyone did would have made a difference anyway.

Likewise, you should not feel guilty about being alive or for being happy. If anything, you should cherish your happiness even more out of respect for those who don’t have it. You owe it to your family who are still alive to be the happiest and best version of yourself.

It is easy to say these things and less easy to believe them or act on them. Consider seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist, and they will be able to help you come to terms with reality and adopt better-coping strategies.

“Some pain is simply the normal grief of human existence. That is pain that I try to make room for. I honor my grief.”

— Marianne Williamson

Dealing with the practicalities

When a loved one dies, it can sometimes seem disrespectful or churlish to think of the practical implications. Seemingly, the best thing to do is to focus on the emotional aspects, on how much we are going to miss that person and how tragic it is that they have died.

And, of course, in some ways that should be your primary concern. But at the same time, it’s important not to forget the considerable, practical implications that can also have a big impact on your life and that can contribute to your feelings of love and loss.

Losing a partner

Losing your partner essentially means losing your plans for the future. It means facing life alone or, potentially, having to go through the stresses of dating again one day in the distant future. What’s more, it might mean a lot of financial strain. Perhaps you’ll need to leave your home now that you are only on one salary. Perhaps you will struggle to raise children if you are at that stage.

Final preparations

Whether you are a relative or a partner, there is also a good chance you may be responsible for funeral preparations. This can involve another big expense on your part, as you pay for the costs. Likewise, the sheer scale of the event to organize, especially one that has such an emotional element, can be overwhelming.

Paperwork

There’s also a lot of stressful paperwork involved when you have lost a loved one. This might mean claiming life insurance, or it might mean removing your loved one’s name from bills and other official documents for example.

There is no stopping

Meanwhile, you will find that life just doesn’t stop, as much as you might wish it would. Eventually, you will need to return to work, children will need to be taken to school, and you will need to do your food shopping.

How to Cope

All this makes it considerably more difficult to deal with the powerful, negative emotions you will be going through.

The first thing is simply to recognize this element and to be prepared for it. If you are struggling, then note that this is something that other people can help you with, and they will surely be willing. Asking someone to do a food shop, to take the kids to school, or to help you with legal documents can be a lot off your mind, and they will be happy to help.

If possible, you should prepare for this eventuality before the fact. This is why life insurance is so important as well as creating a will. While we never like to think of our mortality, doing so can be a huge help for our surviving family and is well worth the effort.

What you can do to support the person who’s lost someone close

When someone is going through the loss of a loved one, it can be incredibly hard for the friends and family who are watching on. When you see someone in so much pain, you will, of course, want to help and support them, but what can you possibly say or do that will make them feel better? How should you act around them?

Be there for them

The first thing to recognize is that no ‘blanket advice’ is going to be particularly useful. Everyone is different, and thus, the right approach will depend on their personality, their experience, and the relationship they had with that person.

But no matter who your friend or relative is and no matter what their circumstances, one thing that isn’t helpful is to try and avoid them. This is the reaction that some people have when they’re too unsure as to how they should treat the person who is suffering. Of course, this is an unintentionally selfish reaction that will make someone who is going through a terrible loss feel ostracized and more alone.

Talking does help

While people differ, you shouldn’t assume that your friend or relative doesn’t want to talk about their loss, especially a long time after the fact. For someone who has suffered a great loss, it’s often hard to speak openly about that person or their relationship without worrying they will make people feel uncomfortable. This results in a situation where they are left feeling as though they must swallow an awful lot of pain and where they can’t talk about someone very important to them. Often, the best thing you can do is to ask them about that person or how they’re feeling but follow their lead on this.

Never offer comparisons

While your impulse might be to say, ‘it will be alright’, or ‘it’s like the time I lost my rabbit’, these are not helpful comments. Unfortunately, when someone has died it has already ‘not been alright’. Likewise, it is folly to compare grief and it can (unintentionally) come across as though you are undermining their pain.

Be sympathetic and listen, but don’t claim to understand, and don’t try to reassure them that it’s ‘not that bad’. Just be there to listen.

Offer diversions

The offer of a meal out, a movie, or a walk in the park to your friend or relative might allow them to forget their troubles for a while. Again, follow their lead. Don’t treat them as though they’re made of glass because sometimes a bit of normality is exactly what they need.

I hope this post has given you food for thought both as someone who has lost someone close or in the supporting role of someone who has had to assist a friend or relative. I would be most grateful if you share this post.

Moving Forward After Losing A Loved One

Grams Wisdom 9

My Gram and I shared a very important loss. Her eldest daughter, my Mother, had an aneurysm the day after her 72nd birthday and was gone in the blink of an eye. Leaving us to learn this lesson together. How do you move forward after losing someone you love?

I moved through the time until the funeral as if in a daze. Gram had given me my instructions the day after Mom was gone, and that carried me through. She, on the other hand, once the last guest had gone, never spoke my Mother’s name for the next 6 months.

Note: Gram and I navigated through our grief together, yet with very different approaches. I spoke frequently of my Mom, telling stories about her from my childhood, while Gram looked through photo albums with pictures of a serious faced little girl who grew up to be that woman.

Getting over a loved one’s loss

Losing someone that you love is one of the most painful and distressing experiences that many of us will ever go through, and it’s something that other people just can’t relate to unless it has happened to them.

In the days and weeks following this hurt, it can sometimes feel as though nothing will ever be the same and as though you can never go on. It can often feel as though you shouldn’t want things to return to normal or even for yourself to be happy, as though your happiness is disrespectful to the one you’ve lost. The thought of laughing or playing again can be enough to make you cringe and maybe it was poet W.S. Merwin who said it best:

Your Absence has gone through me

Like thread through a needle.

Everything I do is stitched with its color.

So, the question you might be asking now is whether things ever will get better. How can they?

Time the great healer

The important thing to understand is that you never ‘get over’ the loss of someone you love. You will always carry the scars of that loss with you, and it will influence everything you ever say and do. It will make you more sensitive to others, it will change your idea of ‘what matters’, and you will never forget that person.

But this does not mean that you aren’t allowed to move forward with your life and that you won’t be happy again. And in fact, what you will find is that it is far from being disrespectful. Being happy is the most respectful thing you can do for the deceased.

You will know that you are coping well when you are able to remember something that your loved one said or did and smile. When you can look back on your memories of them happily and smile about it, then you can more effectively keep them alive in your mind, while moving on with your own life.

How long does this take? That depends on a lot of factors and there is no hard and fast rule. Generally, though, after a couple of months you should find that you spend a little less time focusing on the feelings of despair and that you’re able to slowly start picking up the pieces.

Keeping their memories alive

When we lose someone we love, one of the most painful things we must deal with is the knowledge that we’re not going to see them again. This is ultimately a ‘selfish’ perspective that focuses on your own feelings, but it’s also a very human response and a testament to your love for that person.

But worse than not seeing someone again, is not remembering them at all. That is why it’s important to fight the urge to ‘avoid’ painful feelings and why it’s so important to find ways that you keep their memory alive. Here are some ways you can do that.

Tell others about them

As briefly alluded to before, some people will respond to grief by shutting down and pretending it’s not there. If the memory of someone is too painful, then it can be tempting to avoid it all together.

Instead though, try to keep your loved one in mind by bringing them up in conversation. Don’t be afraid to point out how much your friend, partner, parent, or child would have loved what you’re doing, or how much you miss them. The more you talk about them, the easier it will become, and the more you’ll be able to enjoy their memory with others.

Display photos

Keeping photos of your loved one around is also a nice way to keep them in mind. Keeping them in group photos is a nice way to prevent those photos from being morose.

And consider where you’re going to keep those photos. Sometimes, it’s easy to have a photo on a desk and never to look at it. One unique idea is to keep a photo of your loved one in a drawer that you will open regularly. That way, you’ll find yourself having to look at it occasionally.

Emulate their best qualities

When someone dies, their humor, their beliefs, their good nature, and their ideas can live on in you. Try to remember the best qualities of the person that you miss and to emulate those in your own actions. If a deceased friend was notable for their enthusiasm and positivity, then try to channel a bit of positivity in your own approach to things. When you do, you’ll be keeping their spirit alive and ensuring that they made a positive contribution to your life.

I hope you have found this post useful. Please share it with anyone you feel could benefit from its message.