Gram’s Wisdom 38

While I am a journal writer and have been for years, my Gram wasn’t. Instead, she was a busy correspondent, writing to friends and absent family. Her letters would be bursting with news and questions. Why even I received letters when she was on vacation and reading them was almost like our conversations. I often wondered how she found the time to write, but I missed her and was glad she did.

You see, Gram’s letters were more than just wonderful descriptions of new locales or the different kinds of foods she would have eaten there recently. They were also full of interesting stories about the people she met. Before Gram closed the letter, she would ask me specific questions about what I was doing, how I was behaving and had I done anything special in her absence. And she expected me to write a detailed return letter.

The lessons I learned about letter-writing seemed to me, to begin with, mindfulness. The gathering of pen and paper, as well as your thoughts. Sitting down in your favorite space to begin communication with your recipient.

Then there are the feelings to convey and not just the passing on of information. The right words of sympathy to the lonely widow or an uplifting message to the man passed over for the promotion he deserved can make a huge difference in how they feel. Gram told me this is about communicating your understanding and keeping it individual and personal to them.

Generosity is another big deal here. It takes time to write a well-thought-out letter, and no one feels they have enough of that commodity any longer. When you hand-write a letter, you are in essence telling your recipient that you value them and that they are important to you.   

Many years later, Gram gave me a shoebox full of letters and placed on top a small bundle of letters I had written to her through the years. When I reread the words, I had written to her, I saw a fresh way of looking at some “pearls” she had been teaching me.

I chose the following 3 ways to get you started on your letter-writing habit. They are simple and relevant. Pick one and write that first letter.

How letter-writing can help attain your goal.

Letter-writing helps you attain your goal because it compels you to think about it, considering not only the why and the how, of the situation but the commitment you need to make to reach that goal.

It offers a living record. 

Having a record of the things you will do or have done in your life, whether it’s personal or work, is a beautiful thing. Hardly anyone has a perfect memory, so you’ll preserve the lessons you’ve learned even better with a record to look back at.

It provides accountability.

A letter helps you become accountable to yourself and to the friend or family member you have written to. Your habit of updating your correspondent about the progress of your goal will help you to become more accountable. 

It can be inspirational.

It’s more than possible that by watching you from afar, your friend sees the steps you have consistently taken to reach your goal and is inspired to act on a project. You might also be able to compile the steps from several of your letters into a course that would inspire many people.

Letter-writing to reduce loneliness.

It doesn’t matter what your issue is; if you want to overcome it, you can find a way to use letters to help. If it’s loneliness you’re experiencing, then more social interactions should be a benefit. The possibilities are truly limitless.

You can communicate your thoughts and feelings.

Writing is a time-honored way of communicating thoughts and feelings safely. You never have to let anyone read it. You can write it down in the form of letters to people, or yourself, that you keep when you’re done.

It helps nurture social connections.

It might seem like a strange notion to consider, but writing can even help you nurture social connections. The main reason is that as you read through what you’ve written, you’re going to discover ways to overcome your situation to find the healthy social connections you need.

You see the big picture more easily.

Looking over the things you’ve written in the past about any topic can provide insight into the situation that you were unaware of. The letters you wrote provide a way to see the bigger picture. You may feel lonely today, but it’s still less than yesterday, which lets you know it’s going to get even better from here.

Vacation letter-writing tips.

An excellent way to remember everything you’ve done is to keep a vacation letter for yourself. You’ll write an open-ended letter from the beginning of the trip to the end and add mementos and memories into the letter so that you can look back on it with pleasure and happiness. Plus, when you share your trip with others, your letters will be exciting and fun to read.

Write a little something every day.

Once you’re on the trip, don’t miss out on writing on any day. Try to find time to write in your letter when the experience is vivid in your mind. A sentence or a paragraph can be enough.

Add physical reminders to the letter.

Don’t just add text to your letter - also add color, images, and mementos. For example, save your tickets, the map from a day of sightseeing, or other little things you touched during your trip. It’s not necessary to buy anything extra to do this part.

Remember to write what was good as well as the bad.

You don’t want to look back on the trip and see that it’s not written realistically. It’s perfectly okay to talk about what was good and bad about the trip. Maybe you learned that you need different shoes if you’re going to walk that much? It’s a good thing to write down.

What have you learned from each day?

Add some fun facts that you learned about your destination, the people you met, the people you traveled with, and yourself. For example, did you learn that you love people watching when you didn’t know you did? Did you discover a historical fact previously unknown?

My final thoughts

When it comes to letter-writing, it’s like any other mode of communication. The important thing is to share yourself with someone in the hope that they in turn will share something of themselves with you. I can hardly imagine anything better than a years-long correspondence with a long-time friend or family member.

If you are interested in learning more about letter-writing, check out this post.

5 Life-Affirming Benefits of Writing Letters by Hand, According to Research

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