Gram’s Wisdom 24 Don’t continue to replay past mistakes

Gram told me we should never get stuck in our past mistakes. She said it was like walking through a puddle of molasses. “You know you shouldn’t because it will only hold you back.”

Of course, she was also a firm believer in getting on with the things that move you forward and letting go of negativity holding you back.

So, from her, I learned it’s perfectly okay to stop clobbering yourself over mistakes you’ve made in the past. No one deserves your kindness and understanding more than you do. This affects your well-being, as well as the people in your life.

No wallowing allowed

How often, do we allow a mistake or an incorrect decision to adversely impact our lives long after the event occurred? By doing so, we end up being unable to appreciate the present and take advantage of new prospects and experiences.

Dwelling on a mistake for lengthy periods can be harmful to you. After all, our time here is limited, and unlike your favorite movie, no passing moment can be replayed or started over. It’s difficult to enjoy the freshness offered on a new day when your mind is always troubled by regret and negative self-talk.

Did ya’ hear, you are human

In case you haven’t noticed, human beings are programmed to make mistakes. We aren’t given an instruction manual at birth (we would likely lose it anyway) with details for the best way to handle the vast number of decisions and events we experience throughout our life. Therefore, it makes no sense to go through life with the intent of being perfect.

Of course, you should try to make the appropriate decisions and handle situations to the best of your ability, but only with the knowledge that you will not always do so. Any mistake you end up making should not come as a total surprise but should instead serve to remind you that as a fallible human being, just like all other people around you, mistakes will be made.

Being human is wonderful. We are capable of so many emotions, creations, and discoveries. However, we are far from perfect and mistakes are sure to happen. Always bear that in mind.

Errors=examples of what not to do

A great way to avoid beating yourself up over a shortcoming or wrong decision is to not view the situation in a negative light. Instead, try to realize that mistakes are a necessary part of the growth process. Consider this, every single thing you have ever learned how to do with any level of expertise has been achieved through trial and error. This process in no way ends just because you have become an adult. For as long as you live, you will continue to encounter new situations.

It’s silly to think that, as an adult, you will somehow be able to respond to new situations the right way from the beginning. If you ever reach a point in your life where you fail to make a mistake here and there, it’s probably not a good thing. If nothing you do poses a challenge, this means you are at a place of stagnation.

It is important to consider every mistake as an example that allows you to adjust, modify your actions, and do better on the next go around.

Take another look

Most of us do our best to forgive other people after they have messed up. This is particularly true for the people closest to us. Sure, we may be upset and even angry for a while, but we usually don’t hold the issue over the offender’s head forever. 

Ironically, we struggle more to forgive ourselves than to do the same for others. Considering this inconsistency, try to change your vantage point the next time you are avoiding permitting yourself forgiveness. After all, nobody is closer to you than you. Knowing that forgiveness is a necessary part of maintaining external relationships, you must also realize that this requirement is just as true for nurturing your mental environment.

My final thought

Humans do many foolish things. How badly we treat ourselves may just be the worst. We berate ourselves for our mistakes, and we hate to give ourselves the break we deserve. I believe it’s time to extend a little compassion and kindness for past mistakes to that person you live with every moment, yourself.

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